A/N: I own nothing. Let's see how the trio do on a mission. And sorry, but it's kind of a mess. Enjoy anyway.

Chapter 4: Shimmy shimmy

"Absolutely preposterous! Do you really expect me to believe that these springs are cursed?"

The Ring scientist turned and walked away in a huff, peeved at being pulled away from his research. He tripped over a stone and fell into one of the pools. A guinea pig desperately thrashed its way out.

"Holy shit, there is a curse!" the scientist's companion proclaimed.

Sarah gave Chuck another reassuring kiss. "Don't worry. I will always stay true to you, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I'm just going to get him to take me back to his room, quickly plant a few bugs, and then leave before he can make a move."

"I know, it's just, I still don't like the whole thing. But I trust you." Chuck gave Sarah another kiss.

"Ugh," Casey moaned in disgust. "Just get in there, do your thing, and get out. The mark is not going to be there any longer, so we're on a schedule."

Casey, Chuck, and Sarah got out of the van through the back. They were parked about a block away from the club where the mark was. At that moment, a car drove quickly by. It hit a puddle and splashed the agents before they could react.

"DAMN IT!" Chuck shouted. Casey and Sarah were also voicing their displeasure. Chuck went back into the van to find hot water, but couldn't find anything. And there wasn't enough time to find any either. "Sarah, you've got to get in here. Cows tend to attract attention in the city."

As Sarah and Casey squeezed into the van, Chuck realized that it was up to her to do the mission. She looked through some of the stuff in storage looking for an extra dress.

"Sarah, can you move? You're taking up most of the room in here. And I am not calling you fat." Sarah huffed in annoyance and shuffled a bit out of the tight space. Casey jumped in and tried to look for something that could help.

Chuck quickly took off her clothing and tried to get the dress on. Even though she was now female, she still kept her 6'4" height. That meant that she was at least size or two too small for Sarah's clothing. On Sarah, the dress was loose and flowing, but sexy. It reached just below mid-thigh, which kept it tasteful but enticing. On Chuck, the dress became a second skin. Her boxers were longer than the skirt, so she had to take those off. She also couldn't fit into the bust. After a couple of moments trying to stuff her boobs into the cups, she decided to go another route. She grabbed a knife, cut the straps, and retied them into a halter. The top portion wouldn't have shown too much breast on Sarah. Stretched over Chuck's ample bosom, the material was reduced to two narrow strips that just covered the essentials. Basically, Sarah would have looked classy, but Chuck looked like a whore.

While this was all happening, Casey and Sarah were watching. Sarah was trying to clamp down on the odd jealous feelings she was getting at seeing how much bustier Chuck was than her. Casey knew that was Chuck, and knew that the woman changing in front of him was really a guy. But he couldn't help notice that Chuck was at the moment an incredibly bodacious babe. That was really making him uncomfortable. And he couldn't figure out how to stop the vigorous wagging of his tale.

"Alright, I can do this. It shouldn't be that hard to convince the guy to bring me up to his room, right?" Casey shook his head and Sarah just glared. "Right. So, shoes."

Chuck found a pair of high-heeled sandals that she was just able to squeeze her feet into. She then grabbed the purse with the bugs. She stepped out of the van and realized that she might have to practice walking in heels since she fell over. Said action resulted in her skirt hiking up past her hips, showing off everything. She was only marginally grateful that only Casey and Sarah saw that.

As she readjusted her dress, she began walking to the club. Chuck was feeling very self conscious because of all the stares that she was getting. Her self-consciousness also stemmed from how slinky her outfit was. With every step she took, her dress shimmied up just a bit more. And what was worse was that there was not a long way it had to shimmy up before she was completely exposed. It was getting annoying and embarrassing having to pull the hem of her skirt down every third step.

Naturally modest, Chuck was really pushing herself to use her body to her advantage. And since they knew that the mark would be leaving in a couple of minutes, she had to go fast. She went up to the bouncer at the front of the line, hoping that he would just let her in. She'd seen a couple of women do that before.

"Hey there, handsome." Chuck cringed inwardly at the line. "How about you just let me come on in?" Since she was a guy in her mind, she had a good idea of what guys would like. So with that thought, she lightly jiggled her chest. However, that slight movement caused her girls to pop out. "Sorry," she said, trying to stuff them back into their meager coverings.

"That's alright, girl," the bouncer said, gaze firmly locked on her chest. "Don't be afraid to come to me if you need any help for anything."

"Thanks, and sorry about the whole popping out thing. I'm trying to get used to them," Chuck said with a flush of embarrassment.

"Really? The way they jiggled said all natural."

Chuck grinned and walked away, feeling his eyes on her ass. An ass that was hanging half out. Chuck pulled the skirt down again, mindful of the people watching her. She saw the mark getting up to leave across the room. Quickly, she made her way over and blocked his path in, what she hoped, was an enticing way.

"Hey. How about I get you a drink?" Chuck all of a sudden couldn't figure out how women flirted. Was she coming on too strong? Desperate? Do guys like that?

The mark, named Anton for ease of reference, was looking her up and down. He didn't have to use his imagination too much since he had an unrestricted view of her cooch. Chuck discretely tried to cover that.

"I don't know. You are an incredibly beautiful woman, but I've already seen what you've got."

"Yeah, but you haven't experienced it," Chuck responded flirtatiously. On the inside, she was quailing at the thought of having to actually sleep with him. Chuck was still a male on the inside. I'm not actually going to sleep with him. As Sarah said, I'll just distract him, quickly plant the bugs, and leave before he stops me.

"Well, I'm not really one for whores," Anton said with a smirk. "I'd rather just get it for free. And you're way too desperate."

Oh no! I'm losing him. What do I do? "Oh, I'm so sorry," Chuck said with a forlorn expression. "I have absolutely no idea how to flirt with a man. I've only been with women before, so it's a lot different flirting with them."

Anton's interest was piqued. "Really? You swing that way?"

Chuck saw her angle. "Yes. And I just broke up with my girlfriend, who was cheating on me with another woman. She's always doing that. So I just want to get back at her. And I think that the best way to do that would be to sleep with a man." Chuck saw that she totally had him, so she did the clincher. She leaned close and said, "And just so you know, I've never even experienced a masculine touch, so..."

She shrieked when he tried to kiss her in the elevator. She was a firmly straight man on the inside, so she wasn't too keen on kissing a guy if it wasn't life or death (Chuck vs. The Ex). Anton was looking at her with lust, thinking that she was playing hard to get. Which she was.

The doors pinged open and she ran out. Unfortunately, she still wasn't too steady in high heels, so she fell over. And once again, she cursed her obscenely short dress. Before Chuck could get up, Anton lifted her up in his arms and took her to his room. He had already fished out his key and had the door open. He walked in and threw her on the bed, where she bounced enticingly.

Chuck was surprised that the halter straps hadn't come undone already. Damn, I just had to think that, she thought to herself when the knot failed. She quickly pulled her top back up and barely had the time to roll to the side to avoid Anton from jumping on her.

"Wow, you're really excited for this," Chuck said with a nervous giggle.

"I've got to admit, the whole hesitant lesbian virgin act is a huge turn-on." Anton made another grab for Chuck and she dived to the side.

She grabbed the purse she dropped on the bed, quickly took out a bug, and attached it to the underside of the bed. Anton's hands grabbed at her hips and she darted away, attaching another bug to the underside of the side table.

After Chuck got over her initial squeamishness over have to get romantic with Anton, she saw how she could turn the situation to her advantage. She taunted him and danced just out of reach. While he was distracted by her coy ministrations, she was able to get more bugs in the room. The hard part was getting out of there.

"Um, you know, I think I should first call my girlfriend to tell her that I might be late," Chuck said nervously.

"Really? Well, I think that for someone to not appreciate you like you should, you should just get revenge. So enough playing, and let me show you how sex is really done."

An odd scratching and scrabbling was heard at the door. Chuck took that moment of distraction to open it and hope for a plan to form.

"Did you call room service, or something?" Chuck opened the door and saw nothing. Then she heard a bark at her feet and Casey came bounding in. "Oh, Mr. Woofies! I totally forgot about you. I'm so sorry, baby."

Chuck picked up Casey and brought him over to Anton. "This is my wittle doggie woggie, Mr. Woofies. Mr. Woofies, say hi to Mr. Anton," Chuck said in the most irritating baby voice possible. She finds it a turn-off when girls talk like that, so she hoped that worked the same way on Anton.

"Right," Anton said in astonishment in the shift of mood. "How did your dog get here?"

"I left him at the bar when I saw you and he probably followed us. He's so smart and loyal and really knows how to use those elevators. Really, it's just uncanny." Chuck then turned her attention to Casey and made those irritating kissy faces that people make with cute little dogs. "Yes, you're such a smart doggie. Always find me anywhere. Why, yes you can! Yes you can!"

"That's great," Anton cut in, trying to get their activities back on. He reached over, but Casey growled.

"Mr. Woofies, that's a bad dog," Chuck fake admonished.

Casey then lunged out of Chuck's arms and bit Anton. Anton yelped and shook Casey off, but Casey went in for another attack. Chuck stood off to the side, trying to put on the distressed damsel show.

"No Mr. Woofies, that's a bad Mr. Woofies! We've went over this before, biting people is bad. Especially when mama's working!"

Normally, Anton didn't think shih tsus were all that frightening. But Casey was doggedly pursuing him and nipping at his ankles.

"Get out! And take your stupid mutt with you before I call the cops!"

"Sorry, sorry." Chuck grabbed a growling and struggling Casey and bolted out of the door.

After falling again from her too-high heels, she took them off and ran off to the van, paying little heed to how much skin she was showing or how her halter top failed again. She let Casey into the back and urged Sarah to squeeze the rest of herself in. They then drove off in search of hot water.

Beckman was trying desperately not to laugh. "Excuse me a moment." She turned off the monitor.

Chuck turned to Casey. "So how did you find me?"

"Just a good bit of old fashioned spy work. And being small has its advantages. Even though I'm a wussy dog, it was still satisfying venting my rage like that." Casey continued to clean his guns.

"Yeah, fine. You get to be a predator and bite people while I have to stay squeezed in the van," Sarah said with a frown. "I feel useless as a cow. I hate this curse."

A/N: Sorry for the stupid mission as well.