Morgan spent that night with her as well, insisting that since he'd slept during the day, he was just fine. Emily's argument against it had been feeble at best, since she really wanted him to stay, finding comfort in his presence. The nerves that coiled in her belly and traveled up through her chest into her throat, strangling the breaths she tried to release, weren't as strong or overbearing when he was there. He even brought her books to read when she had no visitors.

Rossi and Hotch had stopped by separately, during the day to check on her. Hotch offering a few helpful parenting tips, and telling her not to worry about her spot on the team-they'd welcome her when she was ready to come back. And, Rossi concerned about the bad memories the birth might have brought up, the ones only he really knew about.

Emily had thought about the child she'd hadn't had, a child who'd have been only about four years younger than Reid. That was a scary thought. Jesus, Reid could have dated that child-had it been a girl. She didn't regret her decision to have that abortion, but it did make her wonder, if she'd known she was pregnant, would she have gone ahead and had Addy?

She did want children, but she had thought when she had one, it would feel...different somehow. And, maybe it would have, had it been a normal pregnancy with a man she loved.

It was early Sunday when JJ called to tell her the team had been called out on a case. Little Rock, Arkansas apparently had a serial kidnapper. Hotch had tried to get them out of it, wanting to give his team a whole weekend to recoop, but five boys ages 10-12 had already disappeared. He couldn't say no to that. Garcia would still be home, and pop in when she got the chance.

Emily went home that afternoon, the doctors and Sylvia, the counselor deciding she was healthy enough physically and mentally to be released. Before changing into clothes from the go bag the team left for her, she'd gone into the NICU, where Addy would be for a little while longer. She'd bathed, changed, and fed her daughter, who'd put on two ounces already, and then cuddled her in another round of Kangaroo Care.

She'd gone back to her room, changed and waited for Garcia to pick her up. Emily had been fine when the redhead arrived, but by the time they got to the hospital exit, tears were running down her face. Garcia had been alarmed, worried Emily was in pain, at least physical pain. Emily admitted that she didn't want to leave the baby, that it didn't feel right to walk out and leave her behind.

That was when she realized that she did feel connected to Addy, that she did love her daughter. It had been simultaneously wonderful and horrible. It made it even harder to leave, when all she wanted to do was hold her child, but it was reassuring to know she wasn't a complete failure as a mother three days in. And, so ensued a hand-holding, hugging session in Garcia's car, with Emily colorfully cursing hormones.

The next few days were exhausting, mostly with the schlepping back and forth to the hospital to feed and take care of Addy. She also got up at night to pump (thanking JJ profusely in the dark of her apartment), and pace to wear out the inevitable nervous energy that followed. She also started baby shopping, picking out a bassinet and a few necessities before feeling terribly overwhelmed, only to return the next day and repeat the process. Garcia warned her to take it easy, she was out of the hospital, but still needed rest and peace and quiet.

Emily was never very good at relaxing or resting. It wasn't a trait common to profilers, or most cops for that matter.

It was on Thursday that she got two surprises, one at the hospital, and one at her own apartment. She'd mentioned to Morgan when they spoke on the phone the night before, that the doctor would check Addy to see if she could come home in the morning. Emily went about her new, 'normal' routine when she arrived, changing and feeding the baby, and the Kangaroo Care cuddling.

She had Addy cuddled against her chest, wrapped in her blouse and the blanket Garcia and JJ picked out when she began to fidget. "Shhh, come on now, you should be deliriously happy."

Emily hadn't actually been able to refer to herself as 'Mommy' or "Mama' yet, but she was talking to the baby a lot. Even in that slightly high-pitched cute voice that everyone adopts when talking to babies. She vaguely remembered using it when talking to Henry, so it wasn't entirely foreign to her.

"She getting fidgety?" Mallory came by and asked, smiling at the scene.

"Yeah, I think she's had enough for today." She affectionately ran a hand over the protrusion in her shirt.

"Let me page the doctor, and then I'll take her to get weighed."

Emily nodded, and eased Addy from her shirt, wrapping her in the blanket, and running a finger along her cheek. The baby stared up at her with big, dark brown eyes, completely trusting her to do everything right.

"Alright, give me that beautiful little angel," Mallory said, holding arms out for her. Emily did as asked, and spent the next thirty minutes waiting in perpetual boredom that was made all the more unbearable with worry.

"Hello Emily," a voice startled her from the thoughts that she'd been lost in. Dr. Weaver was beside her with Addy in his arms.

"Dr. Weaver, hi. How's she doing?"

"Excellent," he answered, setting the baby gently back into Emily's arms. "She's now just shy of 5lbs 10oz, which for just under a week is a very good weight gain. She's responding to stimuli as she should be, and the nurses tell me that she eats very well. No respiratory issues, bowel movements and urination are regular, no digestion issues...this all means little Addy is going home today."

Emily was suddenly so incredibly happy and relieved, and at the same time, so terrified, she didn't know what to say.

Weaver waited a few moments before adding, "You can breathe now, Emily."

And, like a spell had been broken, she was suddenly gulping oxygen into her lungs. Weaver looked at the baby and smiled. "I think your mommy's very happy to be taking you home."

"Yes, I am."

"Good." He went through a few basics, confirming that she was comfortable with everything, and told her to schedule a follow-up in a week when she checked out. He was just leaving when Mallory appeared again.

"Emily, I found him pacing around in the hallway, too shy to come in." Behind her was Morgan, looking mildly abashed and a little anxious. The young nurse rolled her eyes, and disappeared to tend to another baby.

"So, what's the verdict?" Morgan asked, peering into the tiny face visible amongst the blanket.

"I was about to get her dressed to go, actually."

Morgan's eyes widened, and a big grin broke out on his face. "I knew it, she's stubborn like her mama, just had to prove to everyone she's tougher than they think."

Emily smirked. "You want to hold her a minute while I grab her clothes?"

"Course I do, come here, little princess," he happily scooped the baby up, and continued to smile as he spoke to her. "Look at that, she's got chubby cheeks, the mark of a healthy baby according to my mother. How much does she weigh now?"

"Just shy of 5-10."

"You are a determined little thing aren't you, Addie?" Her only response was a spit bubble. Emily took her then, dressing her in the monkey footsie, and wrapping her back in the blanket.

"Did you guys just get back in?" She asked.

"Yeah, we got the unsub after we talked last night. It wasn't kidnappings, well it wasn't just kidnappings. We didn't find the bodies because he tossed them in the pond in the back of his house. We did manage to save the sixth boy though, so that's something." He sighed tiredly, rubbing the back of his head with his hands.

"Was he alright, the sixth boy?"

Morgan nodded. "The unsub didn't have time to do anything to him, and he's a tough kid, I think he'll be okay."

"That's good," she said, leading the way out of the NICU. He was typing on his phone as they spoke, but put it away to hold Addy while she dealt with the paperwork. Emily was very happy he'd come by. The pit of fear in her stomach actually felt more like a pit than the angry, bubbling volcano it had been.

Without giving her a chance to object or argue, Morgan told her he'd follow her home, and disappeared to his car. Emily got Addy situated in the car seat (which JJ and Garcia had made sure was able to accommodate a premie), and spent the entire drive home glancing back to check on her, and taking deep breaths in and out. Driving with such a fragile package was as unnerving as her first defensive driving course at Quantico. She'd been sure she'd kill both herself and her teacher.

She'd bet Morgan loved that class.

Since Emily had actually gone the speed limit the whole way home, Morgan was there and waiting when she arrived. He walked her up, and took the baby while she grabbed her keys and unlocked the door. She was busy listening to Morgan talk to the baby, so when she pushed the door open, and was greeted by a group of people shouting, 'Congratulations!', she was nowhere near prepared for it.

"Oh, my god," she gasped, and jumped back, into the hand Morgan held out to steady her. One hand on her chest, she caught her breath and looked at them. "You are all so lucky I wasn't armed."

"We figured you wouldn't go to the hospital armed," JJ assured her.

"Oh, let me at that baby, I haven't gotten to hold her yet." Garcia rushed forward to Morgan, and liberated his light load. The baby stared up at Garcia, looking a little sleepy. "Oh, I could just eat her up."

Emily smiled, and finally got a look around her apartment. The team, plus Kevin, Will, Henry and Jack (both boys attached to their daddys) were assembled, trays of food on her dining table, and bags scattered in a corner. And, balloons tied to a chair with 'Congratulations', 'New Baby' and 'Baby Shower' written with the occasional teddy bear or rattle, as if the text didn't say enough. "How did you...? You were all on a case?"

They all pointed to Garcia, who smiled. "We all made contributions, and I had an awesome shopping trip. And, the caterer was more than happy to get this together super-quick when I made his parking tickets disappear."

Hotch shot her a look at that.

"Sorry, sir," she said, shrugging. He just rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Well, thank you all, very much."

"Honey, you haven't even gotten to the presents yet." Garica winked at her. "And, now you know why I quizzed you on your purchases everyday."

Emily frowned for a minute thinking, then shook her head. "Wow, I can't believe I missed that."

"Get used to that feeling, being a new mom seems to kill half your brain cells," JJ informed her.

"Hey Garcia," Reid called to her. The tech looked at him, he held out hands and gestured her over. Somewhat reluctantly, but with plans to swipe her at some later point in the afternoon, Garcia eased the baby into his arms.

Reid smiled at the baby, and then his head cocked to the side as he studied her.

"What?" Emily asked, knot already forming in her stomach.

"She's got brown eyes, dark brown. Most Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes, and then they change. It's actually pretty uncommon for a white baby to be born with brown eyes."

"What, no specific statistics on that, kid?" Morgan asked.

"I don't think anyone's ever done a study. Though it would be interesting, genetics is a fascinating-"

"Okay then," JJ interrupted, "before we get into all that, who's hungry?"

The group was happy for the excuse to stop the impending lecture on genetics, at least until they were all fed. Addy was passed around from person to person, only returned to her mama when she got fidgety and hungry. Emily excused herself to her bedroom, and motioned JJ to follow her.

"How have the last few days been, not being with her at the hospital?" The media liaison settled herself on the edge of the bed, facing Emily.

Emily cringed. "Did Garcia tell you about my little breakdown leaving the hospital?"

"She mentioned you were upset about leaving Addy there."

The profiler snorted. "She was being delicate. I burst into tears a foot out the door, and was hysterical in the car, begging to go back inside. I spent most of that first night crying and pacing. I think I've actually cried more in the last week than I have in the last thirty years.

JJ frowned. "You don't cry much, do you?"

Emily shook her head. "I was trained not to make a scene. The children of politicians must be presentable, polite, and perfectly behaved, my mother always told me."

"I take it you won't be raising her with the same idea in mind?"

"Hell no." Emily shot her a grin, as she positioned Addy to feed.

"You're lucky she took to that easily. Henry was difficult, no matter how many times I told him there wasn't anything else on the menu."

"I guess she figured she'd give me one easy thing."

"And, you don't have to lose pregnancy weight." JJ nodded to her more or less flat stomach.

"Well, honestly I would have traded some time in the gym for that one little hint."

"I bet...how do you feel about her now?"

Emily noted the naked worry in JJ's eyes, and not for the first time that week, thanked god she had the friends she did. "Still scared, but better." She paused. "JJ, were you scared the first night you brought Henry home?"

"Oh yeah, I was terrified I'd mess something up. Will was the only thing keeping me from completely losing it."

"Smoothing out the crazy?"

"Yep, he's pretty good at it too."

Emily smiled. "How come no one ever tells you this part?"

It was about an hour later that Emily was finally able to corner Reid. She glanced around the room, noting that Rossi had the baby, and actually looked surprisingly comfortable holding her. Not something she would have expected. Garcia had Henry in her arms, and both seemed pretty content. She'd had Jack before, but the little boy was pretty attached to his daddy after losing his mom. She took the opportunity to yank Reid off into the kitchen for a quiet conversation.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, concern etched into his face.

"Yes, everything's fine. I just wanted a minute with you."

"Oh...she looks good, bigger than before."

"Thanks, but that's mostly thanks to you," she said, honestly. "You probably saved both our lives, definitely hers."

He twisted around nervously, "I don't know about that, I just, uh..."

"Kept your head, and delivered my daughter safely, even when you knew the idea of me being pregnant was nuts."

"I saw a head." He shrugged.

Emily sighed, was it always this hard to get him to accept a simple thank you? "What I'm trying to say is, thank you, for being your super-genius self and being there when I really needed you. And, though I haven't gone to church in years and probably won't do a formal ceremony, I'd still like you to be her godfather."

Reid's mouth opened in surprise, and then he smiled. "I'd be honored."

She smiled widely then, and embraced him in a tight hug. When she pulled away, she kissed his cheek, and opened her mouth to speak, when the sounds of crying hit her ears. "I guess she got tired of being passed around."

Reid shrugged. "She tolerated it for a while."

The crying got louder as they headed back to the living room, only to abruptly stop. Emily searched around, following the eyes of her friends as they directed her toward where Morgan was holding Addie, stroking her back. She walked over, and saw the baby was resting against his chest, one hand gripping his t-shirt, the other curled up, thumb thrust in her mouth.

"Apparently, Derek's powers of charm extend to females of all ages," Garcia commented.

Emily snorted. "Does that surprise you?"

She rubbed a finger along the baby's cheek, then adjusted the little cap that matched her footie, and caressed her head. Addy grabbed her finger, and brought it to her mouth, and Emily let her suck on it, while she turned back to everyone else. She opened her mouth to speak when an angry squawk erupted from the baby, startling everyone.

Emily turned back to her, eyes wide, to see a little hand held out, fingers flexing. She'd dropped Emily's finger, and was getting ready to cry again.

"I think she's had enough of me too," Morgan commented, already easing Addy back into her mother's arms.

Emily took her and snuggled the baby against her chest. "Shh, it's okay. I didn't go anywhere. Mama's right here," she soothed her. She looked at the team. "She's just tired, I better put her down for a nap."

"Well, why don't we get out of your hair, so you can do that?" JJ hinted to everyone, remembering all too well the stress of being a new mother. She and Garcia had already cleaned the dishes and stowed the leftovers.

Emily didn't even bother arguing, just said thank yous and exchanged hugs, and kissed both little boys on the cheeks. Jack promptly wiped his off, the same thing he'd been doing every time Garcia kissed him. She steadily got them out the door, Addy sucking her little thumb, and looking rather pooped. Emily was a bit relieved to find that Morgan was hanging back, she was anxious about being completely alone with Addy.

"So..." He said, approaching her, "I've got a little confession, I didn't contribute to Garcia's shopping spree."

She smiled. "You being around those first two days was as much of a gift as I need."

He chuckled. "You flatter me, princess...seriously, I actually had something else in mind."

"Oh?"

"I was thinking about taking a break from knocking down walls, and trying my hand at setting up a nursery."

Emily's mouth opened, but she couldn't seem to find words.

"You pick a room, and when you feel up to it, I'll take you to pick out furniture and paint, and whatever else, and I'll get everything set up." He'd never done a nursery before, this would be interesting.

"Oh Morgan, you don't have to-"

"I know, I don't," he cut her off. "I want to, so just say thank you, and let me know when you want to go shopping."

She released the breath that had stuck when he cut her off, and after a minute said, "Thank you."

He smiled. "You're welcome."

Emily ran her tongue over her lips then, shifting around nervously, "Uh Morgan, would you um, god, I really shouldn't be asking for a favor after that..." she mumbled, shaking her head.

"It's alright, what do you need?"

"Well, I'm a little...uh, would you mind staying over tonight?" She said it quickly, like that would make it easier to get it out.

"Sure...you nervous about being alone with the baby?" He rested a hand on the infant's back, as if reminding them both of her existence.

"Yeah, is it that obvious?"

He shrugged. "I'd be freaked if I was in your shoes." She offered a small smile of thanks. "Just let me run back to my place, and refresh my go-bag. I shouldn't be more than an hour. Alright?"

Emily nodded, and watched him move toward the door. "Hey Morgan?" He turned, expectantly. "Thanks."

He smiled and disappeared outside. Emily turned to face her apartment then, and the packages stacked in the corner.

Garcia had gotten her big things: a stroller (pram style), baby swing, high chair, and infant learning-play toy structure thing, well whatever that was, and also got smaller toys, blankets, clothes (the tech admitted to picking up a few things for Henry and Jack too, she just couldn't help herself), a few practical items, and lots of diapers. While she was thinking of that...

She used the bathroom counter as a changing surface, and then took the baby into her bedroom, where she'd set up the bassinet. Thank god she wouldn't need a crib for a while, she still had time to work on that, though a changing table and dresser would be wonderful right then.

Humming to soothe her, Emily changed Addy into a plain white onesie, and tucked her into a sleep sack. JJ had explained to her once that babies shouldn't sleep with blankets because they could suffocate themselves; sleep sacks had done the trick for Henry. She gently laid Addy into the bassinet, and popped a pacifier into her mouth. One hand on the edge, she slowly rocked the basket part, and watched her daughter wiggle around.

Her daughter. She was a mom.

When the baby settled herself, Emily began to talk to her. "So listen, I know I'm going to screw up, probably a lot, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you," she promised, tears pricking her eyes, slowly tracking down her cheeks. "And, I'm sorry I picked such a sorry SOB for your father, and because of that, I'll be all you've got...and, I can't even give you a traditional extended family." She laughed the, sniffling through the tears still falling. "You really got screwed, didn't you? But, you know what? The family I can give you, they're the best people I know and they'll always be there for you, so you actually got pretty lucky. Once you're part of them, they'll never let you down, and they'll never let you go. That means when I screw up really bad, you can go running to your Aunt Penelope, and tell her that mom's being crazy." Emily wiped at her tears. "Yeah, I'm you're mommy, and I do love you, more than anything else in this world."

She pressed a kiss to the baby's forehead, and dried the rest of the tears from her face, watching as the infant's eyes drooped closed. Then she climbed into bed, and curled up facing the bassinet, watching as the soft swinging slowed down. Her eyes were closed before it stopped.

So, it ends. Okay, to reiterate, my knowledge of premies, etc, is limited, so forgive me those mistakes. And, I'm not certain on Reid's and Emily's birthdays, so I'm guessing on the four, maybe five year difference between Reid and what her baby would have been. 1982 is sticking on in my mind as his birth year, and I think Prentiss is 1970/71, but all I really remember is October 12 (cause that's actually my birthday), so if anyone knows, feel free to correct me.

I can keep going with this universe if people are interested, I'm thinking the next one would focus more on Morgan than Emily. I'd like to go into his head, since this is big for him too. What do you think?

As always, thank you all very much for reading!