"Would you like to sit with us?", Erwin proposes her with a sign of the head as she enters the canteen around dinnertime.
She eyes the company engaging in heated exchanges behind him: Hange Zoe, the scientist weirdo officer more interested in studying the Titans than wiping them out, is making a point of shaming Levi in front of his squad for his bloodthirst, with lengthy claims that humanity cannot be saved by slashing through them forever. Esmeralda decides she likes that woman.
She sweeps the room in search of her assigned team: ranks and ranks of tired young women and men too busy dwelling on spooky tales of man-eating creatures to finally admit they can't sleep at night in fear of them. She spots Sasha Braus, the potato girl, poking out the crowd, monitoring every movement out of the kitchen. Around her, the top ten of the 104th, showing obvious signs of weariness as Eren and Jean are going at it again. These two boys will be the end of her. She sighs.
"I appreciate the invitation Major", she faces him, "but I'd rather work at raising the troop morale again. I've not been very apt so far but I don't want to let them down."
The smile she gives him before walking off is so kind, Erwin is left wondering why he does not join her instead.
"What is it about this time?", she bawls out when sitting down on the bench across Connie. The belligerents freeze mid-punch and sheepishly stare at her, releasing their opponent's shirt. "Eren, come sit by me, your nose is bleeding."
She taps the wood and the green-eyed boy skips to the spot. She remains more or less oblivious to the many glares trailing his course and the thick jealousy flooding the area as she lifts his chin up to examine his nostrils. She pulls out a handkerchief out of her puffed-up sleeve, revealing a corner of her skin inside her elbow she's usually careful to cover.
"Dr Hope, what are those scars?", utters Krista Reis, the sweet small blond girl sitting next to Connie.
"Nothing."
The haste with which Esmeralda tucks her arm back in the cloth betrays her discomfort. She aims her attention back to wiping her protege's blood. The teenager can't help appreciating her touch and gets lost in the blue-green of her eyes.
"He was rambling about the uselessness of our governors again!", complains Jean, hoping to ruin the moment the Jaeger brat was having.
Dr Hope wraps up her nursing and deftly shoves back the crumpled tissue up her sleeve, keeping her secrets to herself.
"Just a cut, nothing broken.", she concludes before moving to the brooding yet fundamentally encouraging Jean. "Was it worth making him bleed though?", she questions him. The young man's face twists into a scowl and that settles the case. "How was your day y'all?" She changes the subject.
"Training, training, training.", laments the sympathetic Bertolt.
"Did you get a good rest last night?"
"Yeah", Reiner Braun, powerful rural cadet, second best after Mikasa, takes part, "The infusion you arranged for us really helped."
She grins. "Glad it did." She surveys the group: Mikasa Ackerman, best fighter amongst the rookies, customarily displays no evidence of fatigue; Annie Leonhardt is still wearing the world's misery on her shoulders, no joy ever emanates from that face; Armin Arlert, little blond cutie, best known for his intelligence than war exploits, always seems cheerful around her. She worries a lot about this one: he's not shaped for combat, yet he commits himself to his friends' goals. "No new bruises, Armin?" He shakes his bangs. "Did the ointment help with the old ones?"
"Yes Doctor, thanks."
She lets out a sigh of relief.
"How was your day?", timidly inquires Krista. The girl is so empathetic, Esmeralda wonders how she'll be able to inflict damage to anything in the field. She beams back at her.
"It was… entertaining, to say the least."
"How did the 3D manoeuvres go?", asks Eren, his wide eyes glowing curiosity.
"How was Captain Levi?" Connie Springer, always getting to the real questions. This one's a little dumber than the rest, but he's really good-willed and thorough in his techniques.
She blushes, trying to find the right word and the pause doesn't escape the youngsters.
"He is… pithy."
"Not surprisingly", Connie confirms.
"But he's an excellent instructor: I'll be able to fly with you now."
"What? He taught you how to shoot mid-flight?", Eren is astonished.
"And 2-secure positions, and overjumps too."
"And landing?", soberly insures Mikasa.
"I would still be hanged up there if not, Love."
"Surely, he would have helped you down in the end.", ascertains Jean.
"He's really mean, this man.", replies Sasha. "Once, he caught me sneaking in the storage barn… He jostled me out so hard, I fell on my bum and it still hurts!"
She unequivocally rubs down her back and Esmeralda bursts into laughter.
"Why were you there in the first place?" She manages to articulate, knowing the reason already.
"Well, I was looking for potatoes of course!"
Everyone joins in her hilarity. That's just when the Major and his dinner-mates approach and settle down at the other side of the table left empty. She acknowledges them, guessing she must have convinced him to support the recruits as well, but cannot refrain her giggling. The cadets courageously recede theirs, spurring her to do the same.
"Sasha, you've got no stealth whatsoever. You clearly never had to steal your food." She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye.
"Because you had?", harrumphs the clumsy redhead girl.
"Yeah well, didn't have a choice as a kid."
The opening to find out more about her finally showing up, Erwin does not miss the chance:
"What district did you grow up in?"
"The Underground City."
"What? No.", lets out Jean, incredulous.
"Why, yes."
"I've heard only thugs come from there.", joins Connie.
"Well I'm from there."
"No, I refuse to believe that."
"I know lots of good people from down there you know. You'd be surprised."
Erwin knowingly glances over Levi before showing her more interest:
"How did you end up surface-bound?"
She frowns, clearly struggling to remember.
"I wasn't really given a choice…"
"You've been vague about your time before Trost.", one of Levi's handpicked subordinates jumps in.
"Well, I… must have suffered some kind of trauma because my memory is missing some years.", she timidly explains.
"How convenient.", she hears Levi mutter. She chooses to ignore him.
"All I can remember is a Survey Corp returning from their mission.", she sets out to recount, "And how my brain fixated on the gory wounds and the severed limbs. How was it possible to leave a human being in that state and throw him at the back of a wagon without tending to his injuries… So I walked by the recruitment office and I saw the queue. Next door was the med school and there was no queue. There I realized that many people were willing to put themselves on the line and serve as cannon fodder but a lot less would sit their asses for a few years to learn about how to fix the other crazies…" She trails off. "Now I'm realizing what I'm saying is very offensive and I'm really sorry. I don't mean to insult you, not at all. We need every one of you."
"But you are right though.", the commander endorses, "We need you at least as much."
"I don't understand why this hasn't been done before.", she speculates.
"Bringing a doctor along?", cynically echoes Levi. "Because we've got better things to do out there than protecting one person in particular."
"So you let your brother in arms die in the field for lack of medical support?", she challenges.
"Tch!", he hisses back.
She imitates his crossed arms posture, irritated.
"We needed a doctor who's willing to ride along with us.", intervenes Erwin. "I've been called mad more than once for letting you join our next expedition, you know."
"I wonder who dared.", she raises an eyebrow at the sulking corporal.
"I've been warned there's a good chance you'll die and it would have been for nothing."
"Major", she intensifies, "I want to say this now: you ought to bear no regret whatsoever if this happens, are we clear? I am doing this of my own free will and the Skies forbid, I intend to stand in nobody's way, I'm only here to do my job."
"You really ought to be less cocky.", Levi now directly attacks her. "Maybe you're not fully aware of the danger we're running into."
"Fear is for those who have something to lose, Captain. You don't seem to suffer from the feeling so much yourself."
"Tch.", again.
A silent awkwardness flushes the table as they both hold their ground, hostile, glowering at each other.
"So…", gingerly tries Hange. "You don't have anything to lose Doctor? Anyone?"
"No.", she clenched her jaw. "Nothing, nobody… No fear."
"Let's just hope it serves you well in the field.", Erwin winds up. She nods. "And since you've completed your 3D manoeuvres training so quickly, I suggest you join us for the combat classes the next three days before we leave. What do you say?"
"Sure thing. Might be less of a dead weight…", she pulls a face at Levi who shakes his head.