Kyoya was not one to be intimidated.
He had faced down the wrath of his father, one of the most powerful men in all of Japan, without so much as a flinch. He had dealt with countless episodes of Tamaki's insanity and even faced the terrifying onslaught of both twins and Tamaki simultaneously. When he was five, he had been kidnapped by a business competitor of the Ohtoris and had stared down the barrel of a shotgun. Yes, that's right he had even survived direct threats against his person. Clearly, Kyoya Ohtori was one who could hold his own.
And yet here he was, unable to put in his stupid amber contacts because his hand movement was an 8.6 on the Richter scale.
This couldn't be that bad. He could justify his actions sixty-seven different ways, all of which preserving his "Shadow King" identity. He could not, however, allow those justifications to atone for the inevitable immediate implications of being Hikaru. First of which being, he would have to make sexual advances at Haruhi. It could not be avoided. Hikaru always made these advances, and Kyoya hated him for it at the moment. He would lose vast amounts of profits if he did not, and that would cause people to ask questions. They would ask questions such as, "Why wouldn't Kyoya be thrilled with something that could earn so much money?" and "Why would Kyoya be uncomfortable performing this act with Haruhi?" He could not afford these questions to be asked because he could not afford to answer. Neither could he afford to deal with the inevitable ramifications of not answering.
He had to do this.
Adjusting his wig, Kyoya looked himself dead in the now amber eye. 'I love Haruhi.' He told himself. 'NO, wait. Hikaru loves Kaoru.' That is how it had to be. He was simply Hikaru. None of these feelings were his… and that made them acceptable. It has always been acceptable for the monstrous incest of the Hitachiin brothers to be displayed; in fact, it was more than acceptable. It was necessary. It was required. It was coveted by those creepy little girls, in Kyoya's mind the scum of the earth, who paid to be entertained every day. For today, he did not need to feel any guilt or exercise any kind of self-censorship.
Maybe this experience could act as a form of catharsis. Maybe he could purge this horrid emotional baggage from his system. This could be even more profitable than he had anticipated. Not all profits get written in his ledger.
When Haruhi emerged from her dressing room, she didn't look very different than she did most days. She was wearing the same Ouran uniform she wore every day. The only changes were her wig and her contacts. Now that she thought about it, this whole idea was stupid. There was no way that she and Kyoya could pass as the twins… but that wasn't the point. The point was that the customers got to see the hosts acting out of character, but still enjoy familiar acts.
But that still wasn't really the point.
The point was far more self-serving than that. Haruhi had made a decision. She had made a critical decision that she was determined to follow through with. She had made a little wager with herself. She decided that she would make this suggestion for a cosplay. She would suggest the Host Club Identity Exchange. She would do her very best to be Kaoru despite her inability to act. She would experience her moment of warmth, so to speak. Kyoya would be Hikaru, and she decided that she would be completely honest with him under the veil of Kaoru. She would show him all of her feelings, and if he suspected anything or confronted her about her feelings, she would be completely honest. If not, she would never speak of these feelings again, and she would try to concentrate on her studies.
She always concentrated on her studies, so that part of the plan wouldn't be hard. If worst came to worst and she absolutely needed some attention from a guy, she had the sneaking suspicion that someone in the Host club liked her. Usually she wasn't very perceptive about things like this, but she had a hunch. She didn't really know who it was, but something about the way everyone seemed to stop talking every time she entered the room over the past few weeks made her think something was going on. It didn't necessarily mean that someone liked her… it could be hundreds of other things… but the former was more convenient for her at the moment.
She entered the Club room and everyone else seemed to be in place. Hunny was adorably deplorable behind his Kyoya glasses. Tamaki was deplorably adorable with his little bun-bun and monstrous helpings of cake. Kaoru was stoic and calm watching over the Host club and taking care of Tamaki. Hikaru was hilarious in his wig and his skirt. Finally he knew what it was like. She mocked him slightly inside her head.
Customers were starting to gather around her, but she had yet to see Kyoya.
Suddenly, an arm snaked its way around her waist, and a hip bumped lightly into her own. It took her a moment to understand what was happening, but as soon as she fully grasped the situation, she slid her own arm around the foreign waist and fought back a blush.
"So," Kyoya started, "Who wants to play…"
"The Which One is Haruhi-kun Game?" Kyoya and Haruhi finished.
Screaming fan-girls seemed to spring up right out of the woodwork. Flames of moe erupted all around them.
"Um, the one on the right is Haruhi-kun, and the one on the right is Kyoya-kun?"
"You're right!" Kyoya and Haruhi chorused.
"Can I get anyone some tea?" Haruhi ventured. If all else failed, there was always coffee and tea.
"Yes please." Came responses from faceless customers. Haruhi turned to get a tray of cups when something warm caught her wrist.
"Let someone else get the tea." Kyoya said smoothly, pulling Haruhi's arm out behind her, stepping to stand at her back silently. "I can't stand to be apart from you any longer."
"Kyoya-sempai," Haruhi protested, not turning around, willing herself not to blink so her eyes would tear up. "Don't tease me like this…you know I have to leave…" Several customers began to cry. Slowly and reluctantly, Kyoya released Haruhi's hand.
"I'll be back soon, Kyoya-Sempai."
"Please…" Kyoya whimpered, golden eyes cast down to the floor. "Please, don't call me sempai. It's so formal and cold… with you I want to be comfortable and warm."
"Of course, Kyoya-s…kun." Haruhi left to retrieve the teacups, taking long deep breaths all along the way.
He watched her leave to get the tea and turned back to his customers. How was he supposed to entertain them while Haruhi was away? He couldn't just ignore them like he usually did and leave them to the other hosts… what would Hikaru do? Well… Hikaru wouldn't be without Kaoru to begin with, Haruhi would get the tea, but that mistake had been made and there was nothing that could be done.
"Aren't you going with Haruhi, Kyoya-sempai?" 'Damn,' He thought, one of the customers noticed their mistake just as he had. 'Hmm… I might be able to salvage the situation.'
"We have always known that there would be certain places that we have to go alone… certain places where we…I, cannot follow. He has to know that I will be here waiting when he gets back."
"Oh, Kyoya-sempai. Your love for Haruhi is so strong."
"We share a fraternal bond that can never be broken by the meek forces of time and space."
He offered a weak smile to the various girls grouped around him on the couches. He sat next to one of them and she fainted. Generally he did not enjoy this kind of proximity, but he would have to suck it up. This was what they wanted. He saw Haruhi approaching with a tray of tea. Finally. His heart began pumping much harder than it had just moments ago; he swore to himself.
She approached silently, so skilled that the tray did not clink at all as she walked. Practice made her this skilled, and she poured each cup, completely unnoticed by those customers who sat facing Kyoya. Kyoya watched the scene unfold. He felt odd, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.
She poured the tea. They couldn't see her. They couldn't hear her. She reached around to offer them the tea. One of them stood. The tray was knocked from her hands. It spilled on her hand, her shirt, her shoes. Teapot and teacups clattered to the floor. Several of them broke. Her eyes closed. Her left hand retracted into her body. She gasped. She made a hissing sound as she exhaled.
He was at her side.
He bent down on one knee, completely ignoring the mess of porcelain and hot water just beside him. He took her wrist in his hands and his eyes began to water. He closed them and brought her slightly burnt index finger into his mouth. Were he completely conscious of the world around him, he would have noticed the customers' favorable reactions, but he wasn't, so he didn't.
"Ah, Kyoya-sempai." Haruhi said, taken aback by the Shadow King's display of affection.
He slipped Haruhi's finger gently out of his mouth and closed it, glaring up at her with tears in his eyes. His voice cracked as he spoke, "Why can't you be more careful Haruhi? Don't you see that you're hurting me too?"
Haruhi's heart pounded and she tried to react to his words without actually letting herself hear what he'd said. She tried not to believe him, and she tried not to believe herself when she knelt next to him and replied.
"I'm so sorry, Kyoya-sempai…Kyoya-kun. I would never want to hurt you."
His hand slinked into her hair, resting his palm just behind her ear, fingers curling around the nape of her neck, as if he was about to kiss her. He leaned in very close to her. If she'd tried, Haruhi could have kissed him simply by looking up. She absently counted his eyelashes as he closed his eyes and just barely touched his forehead and nose to hers. She fought to keep her eyes open, her mouth closed, and her face pale. She fought her heart to keep it calm. She fought the tears that welled up when she thought how much she would miss this. She fought her body for wanting to lean into his.
"Shhhh…" Kyoya whispered surprisingly tenderly. "Just… breathe… and let me… take your pain away." He spoke breathily and between each breath he moved his hands, his head. He imagined kissing her as he spoke, moving her and moving him so that if he leaned in just one more inch, he would be. His lips burned as he watched hers reacting to his movements. His nerves were on fire everywhere he would have felt her had he the courage to move forward those two and a half centimeters.
Haruhi visibly deflated at the loss of contact. She opened her eyes, and found that Kyoya was no longer beautifully and painfully close to her. There was no one in front of her, only the broken porcelain.
Kyoya knew something, someone, was approaching from behind. Hikaru appeared and began cleaning up the tea. The minute he was within earshot, Kyoya had forcibly removed himself from Haruhi's embrace and moved to put the tray away in a back room that most of the school did not know existed. In fact, some of the club members didn't even entirely understand the layout of the club room.
"Oh, thank you Hikaru-kun," Haruhi said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "I'm sorry, I dropped the tea and…" Haruhi began to get up, a few pieces of the teapot in her hands, and was met with Hikaru's eyes. She didn't understand what she saw in them.
"Don't worry about it." He offered her a smile, though he wasn't entirely sure he could spare it. She took it gratefully and gave a weak one in return.
"Haruhi." Came a deep, cold, and altogether frightening call from the background.
"Hunny-sempai?" Haruhi asked, not entirely believing that the loli-shota could produce such menacing vocals.
"That tea set was imported from England; we bought it from an exchange student whose family designs chinaware and has had an ongoing relationship with the Haninozuka family for several generations. The cost will be added to your debt."
Haruhi's knees felt weak from the shock. Hunny was adding to her debt now? She started to fall backwards, but Hikaru caught her with a blush.
"It's okay, I got you." He said softly.
Hunny ran over to her and whispered in her ear before the customers realized what he was doing. "Don't worry Haru-chan, it's just for the customers." With that he stalked off to continue his observations from the corner.
Hikaru helped Haruhi steady herself, bending his knees to look up at her, verifying that she was alright.
"I'm fine, really. I've been feeling a little faint today, and I guess Hunny's act really surprised me." It was true. She had been feeling faint all day, however, she wasn't about to admit that it was because of a certain Shadow King and a whole lot of doubt in her choice of cosplays. As if reading her mind, Hikaru suddenly realized that there were customers all around and they were watching. They were waiting.
Again he smiled, and spoke under his breath, "You're supposed to be Kaoru, aren't you? Since you can tell us apart, or so you say, prove it to me. Show me how he acts around you when I'm not there." Haruhi's eyes widened a little and with a wink he added, "Come on, it's your cosplay."
Kyoya returned from the back room, ready to begin another round of brotherly love. He was uncomfortable, it was true, but he was going to do this right, and earn as much profits as he could, in any form. He had another line running through his head, ready to be delivered. His eyes scanned the room for Haruhi, and he found her.
With half a smile.
Eyes full of love.
Looking at Hikaru.
His arm wrapped around her.
She embraced him back.
Perfectly molded to his body.
She spoke, but he couldn't hear the words. His ears rang. His heart fell. He spun on his heel and walked calmly into the back room. He leaned on a table to keep him up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his glasses. Without stopping to wipe away the tear that ran down his face, he put his glasses back on.