I've only had one visitor here, except my memories of course. I didn't expect to see him until my execution date, so I was surprised when he entered my cell.
I had been laying on the floor, hands cuffed behind my back, when the door opened. I thought they might have decided to kill me right then instead of waiting until the day I hadn't even been told. Then I glimpsed his bare feet and the ragged hems of his baggy jeans.
This cerianly wasn't the state I wanted anyone to see me in, let alone him. L, my rival. Ryuzaki, my friend. Was he there to gloat or say he was sorry again?
He just wanted to talk. To have me answer for myself because I wasn't going to get a trial.
"Why?" That's all he wanted to know. Juat a simple "why" that asked so many questions. Why was I Kira? Why had I started killing criminals? Why had I lied to everying, to him? Why had I gotten myself caught?
I just stared at him for a moment. To be honest, I'd half-expected him to kick me, mot ask me why I'd acted as I had. I must have looked rather foolish laying there on the cold floor, so I tried to sit up and failed. That probably didn't help any.
With a sigh, I began to answer.
"A stubborn heart and a misdirected sense of justice, I guess." That was what had driven me to act the way I did. "I was frustrated with a malfuncting law system, so I took matters into my own hands. I lied to you and the rest of the task force to keep out of here. I lied to myself so I would't tell you the truth. And, no matter how much I hate to admit it, I wanted to get caught."
There, I'd said it. I'd secretly wanted this since I wanted to be his friend. I had begun to turn my back on the identity I'd created.
I stared past him to the blank wall, unwilling to meet his gaze. I knew he was watching me, trying to fit my explination into what he already knew.
"I never thought it would end like this," he murmured, eyes downcast. "I never really thought I would win, thought I'd hoped for it. Now that I'm certian you're Kira, I don't want this anymore. It's a hollow victory."
My heart leaped. If he hated the idea so much, he might let me out. "What if I wasn't Kira anymore? Would you let me out for that?"
He just stared at me. "I cannot be sure that you aren't Kira, Raito-kun. I've dealt with enough murderes to know that they never really change. They try and talk their way out of their punishments. You're no different."
"But I am different! I'd willingly take back everything just to work with you again, honestly this time. But I can't. I can't change the past no matter how many times I wish I could."
"Lies..."
"What reason would I have to lie now?"
"Like I said before, criminals try and get out of punishment. Yours will be more severe than most of them, Kira." He glared at me, at the enemy he'd hunted ruthlessly for so long. "You have been sentenced to die in three weeks. Then we'll see how godly you really are."
"R-Ryuzaki." My voice shook with fear, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. In truth, I was (and still am) afraid to die, even though I had sentenced so many to that fate over the last four years. "Please. Please don't let them kill me."
He stared back at me, his eyes filled with anger and possible a tinge of pity. "I can't," he said simply, turning away.
I fell against the wall, horrified. No way. He was leaving me here, letting me die. "What do you mean, you can't?" My fear was slowly turning to rage though I didn't want it to. "You're L! Every police force in the world is under you. What's stopping you?"
His hands clenched into fists, and he drew in a shuddering gasp. "You are Kira." Even through his matter-of-fact tone, I could hear how hard it must have been for him to say that. "You killed all those people. I can't bring myself to justify letting you go. I am sorry, Raito-kun. I truely am."
The harsh tone of my voice dissolved. I just couldn't manage to stay angry at him, not after it was hurting him so much to even be here. "Are you sure there's nothing you can do..?"
He nodded. "The ICPO has unanimously agreed that you are too dangerous to keep alive. I can't go against their decision, no matter how much I want to. Not now anyway."
Not now? "Then, you'll try?"
Ryuzaki glanced back at me, then walked toward the door. "If there's anything I can do, even if it's just prolonging your jail time, I will. I promise." With a muttered word to one of the guards, he left.