Love in the Seireitei

by blossomdreams

In the Seireitei love comes in many ways and forms. From romantic love to friendship it's an emotion that crosses over from death. This series will have yaoi, het, and a little yuri. So NO FLAMES! Please read and review. Rated M to be safe

4. Chapter 4 Risks

Hello guys ^^ I'm glad that Love in the Seireitei has now over two hundred hits. Yay thanks guys ^^ this makes me happy. Now if only more people would review. I like reviews it helps me know if I'm doing a good job or not, but the over two hit are nice too. Now this chapter is dedicated to ParadoxChild23. Thanks for the reviews ^^ Now I'm going to try my hands at Gin/Kira. Poor Kira always looked so scared when Gin would come by. I wonder why…

Now disclaimer time: I don't own Bleach nor do I own the characters. I only own my OCs.

As usual read and review

/blah/ thoughts

"blah," flashbacks

Now let's begin

Love in the Seireitei

Chapter 4

Risks

Izuru Kira sighed as he woke up the next morning. He wiped his eyes. He knew he would be punished by his captain if he was even one minute late. He sighed again standing up on shaky legs. He bit his lip to hold back his moan of pain. He wanted to go back to sleep on his futon. He wanted to tell Captain Ichimaru that he wasn't feeling good, but if he went to Captain Unohana she would ask about the bruises on his arms and the scratches on his back. He couldn't tell her it was from the nights he spent with Gin. He sighed again getting up and going to his bathroom. He looked in the mirror, a gift his friend Michiru Kawamura bought for him in the human world, looking at the bite marks and hickeys on his neck. He touched them slowly knowing that the marks weren't made out of love. They were made out of power. Gin wanted the world to know that he owned Kira and no one else could have him.

It always frightens Kira when Gin tells him that. He wants to tell Gin that he doesn't belong to anybody, but he knows that he would be taking a very big risk. Anyone who talked back to Gin knew the risk they were taking. Only two people take that risk Captain Kenpachi and Captain Nakamura, Michiru's captain, Nakamura Sushi has been known to talk back to Gin and live. Kenpachi is another person who holds that record, but everyone knows he just wants to fight.

Kira doesn't take that risk. He knows that if he did he would be punished. Last time his punishment was his hair brush, needless to say no one needs to know what happened that night. Kira shivers slightly whenever he sees a hairbrush now. Gin just smiles knowingly when he does. Kira shivered slightly as he started getting ready for his day. He remembers when he became lieutenant for the 3rd squad and the look in Gin's eyes on his first day. Kira didn't know why, but it sent a weird shiver through him. It was a mixture of fear and excitement. That was the start of Kira's risk taking.

He remembers when he told Renji, Momo, and Michiru that he was going to be lieutenant of the 3rd squad. They each exchanged different glances. Renji looked confused, Momo was worried, and Michiru was concerned. They all heard of Gin and how he was. Not to mention the seemingly kind smile that held not so kind intentions behind it. They were happy that Kira made it to the rank of lieutenant, but they were worried that he was in the 3rd squad with Gin. Gin was known for breaking his lieutenants until they would do anything he asked of them. Even if it threatened their lives they would do it. If they didn't there were always consequences, but Kira wanted to do it. He never told them that he found Gin attractive in a bad boy sort of way. At the same time Kira was afraid of Gin.

The way Gin talks to him always sends shivers down his spine. Even if it's just asking him to do a simple task there's always that hidden tone in Gin's voice that sends shivers down his spine. Especially when he purrs, "Kira-kun," in his ear, it always makes Kira excited even when he's trying hard not to be. That's how it was last night. Gin purred his name and the next he knows he's being kissed firmly. But he doesn't fight it he kisses him back with the same amount energy. Gin pushed him roughly against the wall asking him did he want more. Did Kira tell him no? No he told him yes. He wanted more and he didn't know why. He knew Gin didn't love him, but he couldn't help it. He loved the way Gin took him without warning hard and fast.

None of his kisses were filled with love or warmness. His kisses were filled with power and that hidden evilness in Gin. Izuru could do nothing, but moan and scream clutching onto his captain's shoulders for dear life while he pounded him with no gentleness what's so ever. Gin didn't care if he wasn't in the mood or if he was comfortable for that matter. All he cared about was having him then and now whether Kira agreed or not. Sometimes tears of pleasure would slowly roll down his cheeks. He thinks that turns Gin on more. Gin made him cum so many times he thought he was going to pass out, before Gin came inside him filling him to the hilt. Izuru did slip out of consciousness for a bit, but he was up long enough to see Gin smile at him before falling asleep.

Now, as usual, Izuru was alone in his room feeling bad about himself. He doesn't like the fact that he's used to vent Gin's frustration when Aizen isn't in the mood. He doesn't like the fact that he likes Gin's hands on him so much. He sighed as he put on his uniform checking to see if he hid the bite marks and hickeys. When he was satisfied he picked up Wabisuke and left his room. It was morning time in the Seireitei so a lot of captains and lieutenants were getting ready for the day. While walking to his office he noticed a lot of couples holding hands or kissing each other before they went there separate ways. He sighed wishing that his relationship with Gin was like that.

Then again if Gin was warm then Byakuya wouldn't be cold, Kenpachi wouldn't love to fight and Ukitake wouldn't be kind. He wants some relationship with Gin though, but he thought about it. If Gin was so nice he wouldn't be Gin. Gin didn't do nice, well, not when it came to him. He kinda knows that he likes Aizen and that they're together. He's sure that when Gin's with Aizen he's probably nicer around him. When they're alone he's sure Gin is probably the one screaming and moaning. He blushed at the image of Gin moaning and screaming under Aizen.

/Great now I'm having thoughts about my captain. It would be a nice change to see Gin in that position for once. / he thought walking inside his office. He saw the paperwork and sighed. Ever since the ryoka came he has to deal with so much paperwork. He sighed once more taking out his brush, pulling the first piece of paper from the in pile. While he was working he remembered the second risk he took with Gin. He just became lieutenant, during his first week he made a mistake and fell asleep on his desk. He didn't know that Gin didn't like for his lieutenants to sleep on the job. He shivered as he remembered the tone in Gin's voice.

"Kira-san…tsk tsk I can't believe you're sleeping."

Kira woke up with a start wiping his mouth, "I'm sorry Captain Ichimaru. I didn't know I fell asleep. Please excuse me,"

"You didn't get all of your paperwork done either. Now I thought you told me you were a good lieutenant who would keep up with their paperwork. Not to mention you chickened out with that hallow earlier today."

"I'm sorry sir, but I froze at the last minute. I became so afraid to die I lost my concentration. I'm sorry, but today it's my first day as lieutenant. I'll do better next time."

"Oh I know you will because if you don't you'll just die."

"Wha…"

"Lieutenant Kira, since you've earn that title now, I'm not going to hold your hand. If you've made it this far then you should already know that you have to fight hollows. If you don't fight you die. It's as simple as that."

"But…sir…"

"Are you questioning me Kira-san? I don't do well with questioning." Gin said locking the office door. Kira took a breath, "No, not at all sir I was just saying…" he started before Gin appeared before him.

"Saying what…what can you say that'll make up for this? Hmm…I need a lieutenant that can do his work and what he's told. You can do that right?" he said in a low tone inching closer to Kira. He was so close Kira could feel his breath against his lips. He tried to stop shaking, but this was scaring him yet turning him on at the same time.

He nodded, "Yes I can Captain Ichimaru."

Gin smiled, "Good because I would hate to punish you Kira." The tone of his voice made Kira shake slightly as he nodded. He could've sworn that he felt Gin's lips brush his, but he was too scared to notice. Kira shivered slightly as Gin pulled back smiling his famous smile.

"Ok now if you excuse me I have an engagement to go to. Now when I return I expect to see your paperwork done. Am I clear Kira-san?"

Kira nodded, "Yes sir it'll be done."

"Good, until then," Gin said unlocking the door and walking out. He left Kira shaking slightly, wishing that Gin pressed his lips against his. Kira touched his lips, "Captain Ichimaru,"

Needless to say Kira made sure to do his work from now on.

Kira touched his lips as he remembered, absently circling his brush on a blank sheet of paper when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said hoping that he wasn't blushing.

"Hey Izu-kun, how are you?" Michiru asked.

Izuru smiled, "I'm fine Michi-chan how about you?"

Michiru Kawamura smiled as she walked in the office. Izuru met Michiru during his time in the academy around the time he met Renji. With her bright smile and warm demeanor no one would ever expect that she's as crazy as Yachiru with a troublemaker streak that rivaled Matsumoto's. Which would make sense since Matsumoto was her sempai. She taught her how to wear her uniform in a sexy fashion. She also taught her how to put on make up and how to use her charms to her advantage. Michiru was one of the few people Izuru knew who wanted to join the 11th squad. After joining she met another partner in crime, besides Matsumoto and her little sister Ikumi, Yachiru. No one wanted to mess with either one of them because that meant you messed with Kenpachi and no one ever wanted to mess with Kenpachi.

After joining the 11th squad Michiru became friends with Yachiru, Kenpachi, Iba, Yumichika, Ikkaku, and many other members of the squad. After achieving shikai one day when fighting Yumichika then achieving bankai after fighting Ikkaku and Renji she was recognized by Yamamoto-sama. He knew of her from her reputation as Yachiru's partner in crime. He also knew of her as the lost daughter of the Kawamura clan one of the noble clans in Soul Society. After watching her in battle he knew she would be perfect as lieutenant for a squad he was resurrecting.

It was a secret squad that specialized in researching different hallows that used special powers such as hypnosis or telekinesis. He dissolved the squad after the formation of Squad 12, but with Captain's Kurotsuchi inhumane experimenting methods Yamamoto-sama felt it was necessary to start the squad up again.

Squad 14, the secret squad or the conspiracy squad as it's most often called, was brought back again. Squad 14 researched leads on hollows showing special powers in an orthodox way. Any hollow that wouldn't cooperate would go to the 12 squad. After 15 minutes with Captain Kurotsuchi most hollows begged to go back to Squad 14. Mayuri would let them go only if they bored him. If the hollow didn't then there were no chances of them going back to the 14 squad, but Sushi doesn't like to resort to those methods. That's a last resort seeing how Mayuri always seems to have someone in his examination room. Yamamoto-sama really pushed the squad after the death of Kaien Shiba. He wanted to know more about the methods the Hollow used that killed Kaien Shiba and the hypnosis methods that many Hollows started using.

Michiru was recommended to the 14th squad after defeating a hollow that used hypnosis on her. The hypnosis didn't affect her which made her able to destroy the hollow and save members from the 4th division. Even after obtaining her position she makes sure to visit her old friends as often as she can. Since Sushi is her best friend as well as her captain. Especially Izuru who she feels needs a bit of sunshine every once in a while.

"I'm good; oh I need your signature on this. Can you believe we have to carry our zanpaktou now? It's crazy," Michiru said moving a strand of sky blue hair out of her face.

"I know, but you know it's necessary for our protection. Renji was wounded very badly by a ryoka. I thought he was going to die it was scary."

"I know I saw Renji earlier and his mean captain wouldn't let Sushi heal him. He won't let the fourth squad see him either. He might die in that prison. Captain Kuchiki is so mean. He really needs to get laid maybe then he wouldn't be such a tight ass."

"Michi-chan you know you're not supposed to talk about the captains that way. If Captain Kuchiki were to hear you, you would be in so much trouble." Izuru said looking at the document and signing it.

Michiru puffed her cheeks out, "It's not my fault he's such an ice king. I just want him to be nice to Renji and Rukia. He still won't do anything for Rukia. I mean if Ikumi was in the situation Rukia was in I would do everything in my power to stop the execution. Sometimes I don't understand him."

"Well…" Izuru started when he heard low chuckling.

"My, my Lieutenant Kawamura you really do show your eleventh squad roots don't ya."

Izuru watched Michiru tense slightly, "I can never forget where I started Captain Ichimaru."

Michiru moved to the side to let Gin in the office. She noticed Izuru tense up as he looked at Gin. He quickly looked over the paper handing it back to her.

"Here you go Lieutenant Kawamura. Is there anything else you need?"

"No, that's all, thanks Izu… Lieutenant Kira. I'll see you later on at the meeting. I'll see you later Captain Ichimaru." Michiru said bowing to Gin. She cast a worried glance at Izuru before walking out the room.

Gin waved, "See you later Kawamura-san." He waited until Michiru was out of earshot before turning his smile to Izuru.

"Hello Kira-san, how are you?"

"I'm fine and you captain?"

"Oh I'm good I have a meeting to go to, but I'm sure it'll be over soon. So that way we can have a little fun." Gin said closing the door before making his way towards Izuru. Izuru started to become nervous. He was still sore from last night, but he didn't want Gin to know that.

"Um…Ichimaru-san…I'm…" Izuru said trying to calm down. He was going to try again before he looked up at Gin. The minute he looked at that smiling face he fell silent. Gin started caressing his cheek softly, "Hmm…Izuru…you're still sore I take it."

Izuru nodded, he hated the fact that he was getting turned on. Gin smile grew wider as he leaned forward brushing his lips against Izuru's. "I love it when you sigh quietly Izuru."

Izuru moaned softly, closing his eyes as he leaned forward. He pressed his lips against Gin's softly. The kiss didn't stay soft for long before Gin dominated the kiss pushing his tongue through Kira's lips. Kira moaned trying to resist the urge to grab Gin's hakama. Until Gin started to suck on his tongue slowly Kira couldn't resist anymore as he reached up and grabbed his hakama for dear life.

Gin broke the kiss smiling as Izuru caught his breath a light blush on his face. Izuru hated the fact that he wanted more and that he was getting excited. Gin chuckled lightly at Izuru's blush. Gin leaned forward towards Izuru's neck he was inches away and could see Izuru trembling slightly. Izuru could feel Gin's hot breath on his throat. He knew if Gin started kissing him there it would be over and he would be late for the meeting. So he took a breath pressing his hands against Gin's chest. He pushed him away gently; knowing that he was taking another big risk, but knew it had to be done.

"…Gin-san…I have to get ready to go to the lieutenant's meeting. I…" Izuru said looking at his hands. He could feel Gin's anger, but it didn't show behind his trademark smile.

"Well…I do have to get ready for the captain's meeting." Gin said easing away as he started walking to the door. Izuru let out a breath he didn't know he was holding feeling confident until he looked up at Gin and saw his smirk.

"But…there's always later Izuru…and we will have fun…" he said huskily walking away closing the office door behind him. Izuru thought he had the upper hand, but as usual Gin won. The bad thing about this situation was he was actually looking forward to later.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Izuru made it to the meeting a little early than usual he was hoping that nobody noticed him walking funny. When he walked in the room he saw Matsumoto, Iba, and Shuuhei waiting for the meeting to begin.

"Good morning Kira-san how are you?" Matsumoto said smiling as she walked over to him.

Izuru smiled, "I'm fine Matsumoto-san how are you?"

"I'm fine. Can you believe what happened to Abarai-san? I couldn't believe it when I heard it. Then Captain Kuchiki being so mean not letting anyone heal him, it's like that man has no emotions." Matsumoto said running a hand through her hair.

"I agree it's not like Renji to lose a fight. That ryoka must've been strong for him to lose. Hey Kira-san, are you ok? You're walking kinda funny." Shuuhei said.

/Damn I was hoping that Hisagi-senpai wouldn't notice. / Kira thought as he put a smile. "Yeah I'm fine don't worry about it senpai."

Shuuhei nodded, he opened his mouth to say something when they heard, "CAPTAIN AIZEN!"

"That sounded like Hinamori-san." Matsumoto said. They ran outside to see Hinamori on her knees in shock and horror. They followed her line of vision towards the site she was staring at. It was Captain Aizen dead on one of the towers. Kira couldn't believe it. Captain Aizen was dead. The captain of the 5th squad was dead. There were many thoughts running through his head at the moment. Such as how did this happen? Who killed him? What would Gin think of all this? He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice Gin walking over towards them.

"Oh my, what happened?" Gin said walking in the courtyard. Hinamori's eyes widened as she stared at Gin and his patent smile. She knew he was around Aizen a lot before he died so that meant…

"IT WAS YOU! YOU KILLED MY CAPTAIN!" she screamed.

She charged towards Gin ready to avenge her captain when Kira blocked her. She looked up at Kira in surprise, "K-K-Kira-kun…"

"As lieutenant of the 3rd squad I can not allow you to raise your sword at my captain for any reason at all!" Kira yelled hating the look of surprise and anger in Hinamori's eyes. /I'm sorry Momo, but as lieutenant I can't allow this to happen. / he thought knowing the risk he was taking with their friendship by protecting Gin, but as lieutenant it was his duty. He couldn't put friendship before his duties. No matter how much it hurt him.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY KIRA!" Hinamori screamed her reiastsu flaring wildly. Kira's heart clenched, but he didn't let his emotions show.

"I CAN'T HINAMORI I CAN'T LET YOU HARM MY CAPTAIN!" Kira yelled back his reiastsu flaring with the same intensity.

"WHAT PART OF GET OUT OF THE WAY DON'T YOU GET KIRA!?"

"WHAT PART OF I CAN'T LET YOU HARM MY CAPTAIN DON'T YOU GET HINAMORI!"

Hinamori screamed clutching Tobiume tightly, "BURST TOBIUME!"

She shot a blast at Kira as he dodged it. He couldn't believe that Hinamori actually raised her zanpaktou to him. He could understand that she was upset, but this was no way for her to react.

"I can't believe you would raise your zanpaktou at me. How dare you?" Kira hissed angrily. Hinamori didn't care she shot another blast at Kira. He glared, he didn't want to release Wabisuke he didn't want to hurt her, but with Hinamori shooting blasts at him he knew he had no choice.

"Fine Hinamori if that's the way you want it. Lift your face Wabisuke!" Kira hissed charging at Hinamori with Wabisuke. Hinamori was ready she charged at him with Tobiume. They were stopped by Toshirou before the situation became worse. He grabbed Wabisuke and Tobiume stopping Hinamori and Kira in the process. Michiru walked in her eyes widening in shock. She couldn't believe that Kira and Hinamori, her two friends, were fighting. She looked over seeing Aizen dead on the tower. She gasped, she couldn't believe that Aizen was dead, but for some reason it didn't feel right to her. She was shocked about the body, but found it strange that someone killed Aizen during the lockdown. Aizen was a person who had no known enemies not like her or Kenpachi. So who would want him dead? She couldn't think about that now not when Hitsugaya told her and the other lieutenants to restrain Hinamori and Kira.

Matsumoto and Iba held back Hinamori while Michiru and Hisagi held back Kira.

"I will be telling Captain Yamamoto about this. In the meantime take them to jail." Hitsugaya said. He didn't like the fact that he was sending his oldest friend to jail, but it was his duty as captain. Seeing the emotions flash in her eyes was hard for Hitsugaya, but he couldn't deny his duties as captain. He just hoped that Hinamori would understand. Michiru felt bad that she had to hold back Kira. She didn't like the look he gave her. It sent her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach.

"Hitsugaya…"

"Lieutenant Kawamura you know as well as I do that we have to this. We can't let our personal feelings get involved." Hitsugaya said.

Michiru nodded knowing he was right. Now wasn't the time to fight. Not yet.

Kira didn't fight against Michiru or Shuuhei. He didn't have the energy after hearing Hitsugaya's order. He couldn't believe he was going to jail. All because of Hinamori's foolishness he had to pull out his zanpaktou and use it against her. If Hinamori had acted with some sense he wouldn't be in this predicament right now, but he had to protect Gin. If he didn't protect Gin…that was a risk he didn't want to take. As he was being taken away he saw Gin talking to Hitsugaya. As he walked past Gin turned to him as his smile widen. Kira swallowed thickly feeling a chill go down his spine.

*~*~*~*~*

In jail Kira was losing his mind. He didn't want to be in jail. He didn't belong in jail. He couldn't believe he held Wabisuke against Hinamori one of his best friends. Now he was in jail and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know if Gin would come and get him out. Would get kicked out of the third squad for raising his sword against a fellow comrade? He didn't know what his punishment would be. He was making a commotion at first. Throwing his chair against the wall numerous times, scratching his arms and screaming to the top of his lungs. After awhile they felt it was in his best interest to restrain him. It took three guys, but they were able to tie his arms up. It didn't help his situation he started thrashing about in the restraints. He kicked the chair one more time before taking a seat in the corner of the room. He started muttering quietly to himself. Accusing himself of being a monster, a despicable person, a no good friend. He felt so miserable right now. He felt that he wasn't worth saving, but that bought another question to mind.

Would Gin save him? Did Gin even care that he was gone? Would he find someone else to let out his frustrations on? A thousand and one questions were going through Kira's mind as he rocked back and forth in the corner. He heard a sound in the cell and turned around.

"WHO'S THERE?" Kira yelled.

"Tsk, tsk I can't believe this. This is horrible just simply horrible." Gin said wrapping his hand around one of the bars.

Kira gulped as his eyes widened, "I-I-Ichimaru-taichou…"

Gin's smile widen again as he looked over Kira, "Aww you poor thing. Ya look so frail like anything could break ya. Ya know we never did finish what we started earlier today. If I saved ya you'll be free and we can have fun. So, do you want me to save ya Kira?"

Kira couldn't find his voice at the moment. On one hand he could be free, but that would mean he would have to be Gin's plaything. The thought of Gin's hands on him didn't sound as bad as he thought. It would be better than being in jail.

Gin chuckled as he leaned closer to the bars, "Come with me Izuru…"

Kira nodded he didn't want to be in jail any more. Gin opened the door walking towards Kira. Kira swallowed thickly feeling like a trapped mouse, but what could he do? He needed Gin in more ways than he was willing to admit. Gin let him out of his restraints. He rubbed his arms slowly working the circulation back in them. It felt refreshing to have working use of his arms again. Gin smiled watching Kira as leaned closer to him. Kira tried stepping back, but he didn't get far as his back hit the wall. Kira looked up at Gin as he smiled back in response. Kira started shaking as Gin caressed his cheek, "You poor thing locked up in jail. Are ya still nervous? Don't worry Izuru…you're not in jail anymore…you're with me…"

He pressed his lips firmly against Izuru's as Izuru whimpered. He tried to fight it he didn't want to show Gin that he didn't want it, but he still wanted to feel Gin against him. He knew that sounded crazy, even to him, but when Gin pushed his tongue through Kira's lips he didn't care. As his hand gripped Gin's hakama and he moaned shamelessly in his mouth he didn't care.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kira walked behind Gin fidgeting with his hands as Gin walked in front of him with his wide smile. He wanted to go somewhere and hide. He couldn't believe he moaned for Gin to take him and in the jail house of all places. He sighed as he looked at Gin. It was like everything went back to normal. Izuru walking behind Gin like a loyal puppy. Gin in front of him walking with an air of confidence Izuru could only wish he had. He started getting lost in his thoughts as he walked back with Gin to the third squad. He was taken away from his thoughts when he noticed Gin stopping.

He looked over noticing Captain Hitsugaya standing in big space between two buildings in the third squad with a frown on his face. He gulped between the look in Gin's eyes and the look in Hitsugaya's eyes this meeting wasn't going to end well.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kira tried his hardest to stop his shivering as he walked back to his room. He was exhausted. After being hit with water from Hyōrinmaru his whole arm froze up which was an uncomfortable feeling. He watched Gin and Hitsugaya fight while trying to get the ice to stop growing. He saw Hyōrinmaru up close and personal. It was a frightening yet amazing experience to say the least. The hardest part was watching Hinamori break down because of Captain Aizen's letter. He never saw Hinamori cry so much or heard her so lost. It sounded like she really had nothing else to live for now that Captain Aizen was gone. Then Matsumoto, Michiru, and Sushi coming to stop Gin and Hitsugaya before Shinso could hurt Hinamori were the breaking point for him. He sighed tiredly this had been quite an eventful day.

He looked down at the floor sadly remembering the worried look Michiru gave him. He knew she was worried about him, but what could he say? He couldn't tell anyone that he was sleeping with his captain. He couldn't tell anyone that his captain treated him like he was an object instead of a person. He couldn't drag sweet Michiru into the hole he was digging for himself. He already hurt Hinamori he couldn't hurt Michiru. She had enough troubles trying to convince people that her captain wasn't going crazy. She didn't need him adding onto her problems. He shivered again as he walked in his room setting Wabisuke down next to his futon. He slipped out of his hakama, folding it neatly, before going to his closet. He found a robe and slipped it on. He started pulling off the rest of his wet uniform when he heard a knock on his door.

"Coming…" Izuru said going to the door. He slid it open being greeted by a worried Michiru.

"Hey Izuru are you ok?" Michiru asked.

Kira gave Michiru a weak smile, "I'm ok, a bit tired, but ok."

"Are you sure? I mean you went to jail and you were in the middle of that fight. I know that must've been really stressful." Michiru said.

/You have no idea how much. / Kira thought, but gave Michiru a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, don't worry I'm just a bit tired."

"Ok…you do know if something is bothering you, you can tell me right."

Kira nodded, "I know Michi-chan and I assure you, besides the usual stress, there's nothing wrong with me. If there is I'll be sure to tell you." /Please don't make this so hard Michiru. /

Michiru smiled as she nodded, "Ok well I just wanted to check up on you. I should be heading back now. It is pretty late isn't it?"

Kira laughed, "Yeah, but, it's ok Michiru. Thanks for the offer though."

Michiru smiled, "You're welcome Izuru. You know I'm here anytime you want to talk."

Izuru nodded giving her a tiny smile, "Thanks again,"

Michiru smiled, "You're welcome, I'll see you later Izu-kun. Try to get some sleep tonight ok."

Izuru nodded, "Ok you too. I know how busy you and Captain Nakamura have been."

Michiru nodded, "Yeah we've been pretty busy, but it's ok. Hey Izuru about Captain Aizen…"

"My, my Lieutenant Kawamura don't you think it's awfully late to be visiting my lieutenant." Gin said. Kira shivered as Michiru stiffened.

"I wanted to make sure he was alright, Captain Ichimaru, he is my friend." Michiru said not looking at Gin. Kira felt his heart sinking in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want Michiru to be in trouble so late at night. It hasn't stopped her before, but he wanted to keep her out of as much trouble as possible.

"I understand that, Lieutenant Kawamura, but don't you think your captain, the conspiracy queen, might wonder where you're at?" Gin said as Michiru's eye twitched. Kira sighed wrapping his arms around his chest to keep warm. Being from the 11th squad it wasn't hard to get Michiru mad Gin knew that. Kira hoped that Michiru wouldn't start a fight tonight.

Michiru took a breath, "I told my captain where I was going. Now that I've checked up on Kira-san I was just leaving. See you later Lieutenant Kira. See you later Captain Ichimaru."

She gave Gin a bow in respect. She gave Kira a small smile before flash stepping out of the area. Gin turned his attention to Kira. He gulped slightly trying to warm himself up.

"Are you cold Izuru?" Gin said walking in the room as Kira backed up.

"Yes, Hyōrinmaru does live up to it's reputation. I'm going to take a warm bath before going to bed. I'm really tired tonight." Kira said backing up further in his room. Gin walked in shutting the door behind him, "Really…too tired to finish what we started..."

Kira nodded as he yawned, "Yeah I'm really tired Captain Ichimaru. I don't know if I would be able to stay up long enough. I wouldn't want to fall asleep on you."

He knew the risk he was taking by denying Gin, but he was cold and tired. He knew he would be punished if he fell asleep, but he knew if he kept making up excuses he be punished also. He was in a lose-lose situation either way.

"Don't worry, Izuru, I can help you stay up and I can keep you warm." Gin said huskily moving closer towards Kira. He backed up trying to think of something to say when he tripped on the pants of his uniform. He fell back on his futon his robe coming off of his shoulders as he looked up at Gin. He had a feeling that the way he fell made him look more desirable. He knew he was right when Gin licked his lips.

"That was cute Izuru…" he whispered as he leaned down crushing his lips against Izuru's roughly. Izuru tried to push him off, he tried not to respond, he tried not to moan. He lost his inner battle when Gin slid his hand in his robe while pushing his tongue past his lips. He moaned gripping Gin's hakama tightly. Gin smiled widened against his lips as his hands started caressing Kira's stomach and chest. Kira moaned moving to the touch. He started getting warm as he squirmed around.

Gin broke the kiss not giving Kira much time to breathe before he started kissing his neck. Kira moaned leaning his neck back for Gin to have more access. Which Gin took advantage of immediately. It was always like this. Kira first denying Gin then he's gripping his shoulders for dear life. He really wished he could break this cycle, but he knew it wouldn't end. It would end when Gin said so and he wasn't going to stop anything anytime soon. Gin licked his neck slowly as Kira let out a breath.

"G-G-Gin…" Kira moaned leaning his head back, giving Gin more access to his body. Gin chuckled, "I thought you were sore…I thought you were tired…Izuru…"

"I was…I'm better now…ahh…" Izuru moaned as Gin's hand slipped lower. He started to rub Izuru's growing excitement.

"Oh really…that's good Izuru…" Gin moaned his hand leaving Izuru's robe. He straddled Kira's waist, moving against him slowly. Kira moaned, "Ahh…Gin…" he panted pushing down Gin's outer robes of his uniform. He didn't know why Gin made him so hot. He didn't know how Gin bought this side out of him. It reminded him of the time Gin had fun with him in the hallway of the third squad. Anyone could have heard them or seen them, but Kira didn't care. It was like now he didn't care if his moans were getting louder. He didn't care if tomorrow morning he would do his same routine. All he cares about is Gin and what he's going to do to him.

Gin leaned towards Kira's ear, "Want more…Izuru…"

Izuru bit his lip as he moaned loudly, "Yes…Gin…yes…"

Gin smiled devilishly as he kissed Izuru firmly again. Izuru knew that smile man he was going to be sore in the morning.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kira woke up the next morning to an empty futon and an emptier heart as hot tears stung his eyes. He didn't know why he did this everytime. Why did he take this risk with his heart? Why did he love it when Gin touched him? Why did he always do this? Kira buried his face in his pillow as he started crying. He felt like crap. He felt bad that he liked Gin's hands on him. He liked feeling Gin inside him, but he didn't like how it made him feel the next morning. He could always tell Michiru, but if he did that there would be the risk of someone seeing them or, worse yet, of Gin seeing them. He would ask why he talked to Michiru and he couldn't lie to Gin. Gin would know right away if he was lying then he would be punished. Then he would like it and then he would feel bad the next morning.

It was a vicious cycle he wanted to break, but he didn't want to take the venture of telling Gin that. Sometimes he wished he was more like Renji or Michiru or even one of the Ryoka. They all had confidence that Kira wish he had. He walked to the bathroom to wash his face and get ready for his day. It was the day of Rukia Kuchiki's execution, but something was telling Kira that another big was going to happen.

*~*~*~*~*

Kira knew his mission was clear. He was to go to the Central 46 chambers where Hitsugaya and Matsumoto would be. Once he had their attention he was to lead Hitsugaya and Matsumoto away from the chambers. That way Gin would have enough time to lead Hinamori inside. He only made one request that no harm would come to Hinamori. As he watched Aizen talk with Gin he felt his heart breaking.

/ So Michiru's captain was right. / he thought.

Sushi kept saying that Aizen's death was really suspicious. No one really believed her since her squad dealt with conspiracies daily. Unohana was the only captain beside Yamamoto and Kenpachi to believe her. He felt a guilty lurch go through his heart. There were many times when he didn't believe her. He denied her accusations up and down. Even if it meant causing some tension between him and Michiru he denied it. Hinamori was worse even going as far as to start the rumors that Sushi was nothing, but a rumor spreading conspiracy queen. Captain Ukitake and Kyouraku felt that she was releasing her suspicions about Gin towards Aizen. Kenpachi liked that she just didn't agree with everyone about Aizen's death. Soi Fong felt she was slowly starting to snap. Omaeda didn't care as long as he could still look at Sushi. She could become crazy all she wants as long as she was still hot.

Gin loved to rile her up during meetings. He knew the truth, but thought it was fun to run Sushi through the ground seeing as how she was making herself crazy. Unohana agreed with her former student since she was suspicious of Aizen's death herself even though she conducted the autopsy. Isane wanted to agree with her friend, but didn't think it was right to think badly of a captain. She secretly agreed with her, but was afraid to voice her opinion.

Everyone knew how Hinamori felt. She even went as far as to push the usual calm captain to a fight. The only thing stopping them was Ukitake and Hitsugaya who didn't want the two to fight over something like this. Byakuya felt that Sushi was right to have her own suspicions since he had his own, but with Rukia's execution coming and the tension between the captains he had too much to deal with. He couldn't really focus on Aizen's death and whether it was fake or not. Renji knew that she must've had a good reason for her suspicions, but Rukia's fate was more important to him than the fight brewing between the captains. Captain Komamura felt her suspicions were being projected on the wrong person. Tetsuzaemon felt the same way. He didn't think that Aizen would fake his death for any reason. He felt that Sushi's suspicions were wrong for the first time.

Nanao worried that the strain of all the extra work the captains had to do was putting unnecessary strain on Sushi. That had to be the reason why she was coming up with all these theories about Aizen. Tosen felt she should spend some time in jail because these accusations were unjust. Shuuhei secretly admire Sushi for publicly voicing her opinion against Gin and Aizen, but felt it was a bit out of place. Since Rukia Kuchiki's execution was quickly approaching. Hitsugaya agreed with her about her accusation of Gin, but didn't feel too strongly about the accusations against Aizen. Matsumoto agreed that things were becoming awfully suspicious everywhere. She was one of the few lieutenants to agree with her. Yachiru loved a good fight as much as Kenpachi so she automatically agreed. Besides she loved Sushi and Michiru and their courage to stand up against all the other captains. Ikkaku and Yumichika couldn't help, but notice how a lot things Sushi said started making sense. Not to mention show up around Soul Society.

Mayuri could care less. As long as she had more hollows for him to experiment on that's all he really cared about. Nemu was concerned about the uproar Sushi's opinions were making. Even though Nemu felt she was doing the right thing by being honest and not biting her tongue like the other captains. Kiyone and Sentaro felt she was letting her guilty past affect her future. They knew she still felt as guilty as Rukia about Kaien. Everyone, from captains to lieutenants to the seated officers, had their own theory as to why Sushi and her whole squad were suspicious of Aizen, the squeaky clean captain of the fifth division, when she was right all along.

He walked back to the chamber, after sensing Hitsugaya's and Matsumoto's reiastsu, to go into place for the plan. He took a breath calming his shaky nerves. He was so nervous he didn't know what to do, but his duty was to follow orders from his captain. Even if it went against his moral code he had to do it. He looked over at Aizen and Gin. His heart sinking further in his stomach when he noticed the look they shared between each other. His own theories about Gin and Aizen were right. He was right all along. He bit back tears in the hallway. He had to be strong he couldn't be weak. Not this time. He looked back inside his world shattering at the scene in front of him. Aizen and Gin were kissing. They were kissing lovingly amongst the dead bodies in the chamber, but did that bother them? No. Did it matter that he was there? No. Did it look like they were in love? Yes.

At that moment Kira didn't care anymore. It happened he became the puppet Gin wanted. Even though he knew that Gin loved Aizen there was still a flicker of hope in his heart. He only kept it there because if he didn't he would go out and do something stupid. Just to get rid of the stinging pain of rejection and humiliation in his heart. He hated the fact that he was a pawn. That he let Gin play him like a finely tuned piano. He was just too stupid to notice. Before he could kick himself further he sensed Matsumoto and Hitsugaya coming towards his area. He hastily wiped away some tears that he couldn't fight back before going into place.

He looked back in the chamber. Gin and Aizen were gone.

/At least they have some ounce of decency. / Kira thought from his hiding place fighting back his emotions. The plan had to go through. It had to go through no matter what. Just as long as Hinamori wasn't hurt they could promise him that at least right? He waited for his cue, he saw Hitsugaya and Matsumoto in the chamber, before appearing in the doorway. Sure enough they saw him and he was able to get them to chase him.

Before leading them away too far he had to warn Hitsugaya. He knew he would do a better job of protecting Hinamori. He was in no position to protect her or anyone. When Hitsugaya left to go back to the Chamber he was left with Matsumoto. He didn't want to fight Matsumoto, but his captain gave him an order and he couldn't decline it. No matter how wrong he knew this was. He fought with Matsumoto, his Wabisuke against her Haineko, he had to give it to her she was strong. They didn't fight for long though they didn't have to. They stopped when they heard Isane's announcement. His eyes widened as he spoke his thought aloud, "They said they weren't going to hurt Hinamori."

He started feeling like it was his fault. They promised him that Hinamori wouldn't be hurt in any way, but he was a fool to think they would keep their word. He didn't want any of his friends hurt. He didn't want any of this the guilt, the rejection, the humiliation. He wished he was back in his academy days. Sparring with Renji, hanging out with Michiru, and studying with Hinamori. Not on top of a building with Wabisuke in his hand and his stomach doing flip-flops. His friends were right maybe joining the third squad was a risk that he shouldn't have taken.

*~*~*~*~*

So now here he was once again in his room. This time he wasn't sore, he didn't have scratches to look at, and he didn't smell like Gin, but he felt like crap. It was five days after Gin, Aizen, and Kaname left the Seireitei and betrayed everyone. They hurt many people including Hinamori and Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya was out of the hospital, but Hinamori was still in critical condition. Rukia was saved by the ryoka and they were now trusted allies of the Seireitei. Ichigo, the substitute Shinigami, was now official.

Everyone apologized to Michiru, Sushi, and their squad. Everyone stopped calling Sushi the conspiracy queen. They were all trying to get on her good side again. Mayuri didn't appreciate that his easy access to more scientific subjects was almost cut off. He made his anger known about the inconvenience this fight caused him. Many people started avoiding the 12th squad more than usual. They were afraid that Mayuri would take his anger out on them. Since many knew that the 12th squad worked with the 14th squad sometimes. So many people were quickly warming up to her and apologizing whenever they had the chance.

Kira on the other hand felt like crap. He now had two duties. He had captain and lieutenant duties, two things that were starting to run him a bit ragged. Not to mention the guilt he felt because many people ended up being injured. The rejection he felt that Gin only used him to further along Aizen's plan. Then to top it off the humiliation he felt that he was a puppet and all the things he did with Gin and to Gin. While he was sinking deeper and deeper in his hole of depression he heard a knock on his door.

"Yes!" Kira yelled he didn't feel like getting up.

"It's me Izuru," Michiru said. Kira got up and opened the door. Michiru smiled, "Hi Izuru, are you ok?" Her smile faded as she noticed the bags under his eyes.

"Izuru?" Michiru asked again her dark blue eyes staring deeply in his light blue ones.

Kira couldn't lie anymore he couldn't keep this charade up anymore. Tears started going down his face slowly as he walked to Michiru wrapping his arms around her waist as he buried his head in her chest. Michiru walked inside, her own tears going flowing down her cheeks, as she sat down. Kira kept his arms around her waist adjusting his body in a more comfortable position. He laid his head in her lap his tears falling on her uniform, but she didn't care.

She started running her fingers through his hair talking to him softly. Kira couldn't stop his tears. His body shaking from the silent sobs raking his body. Michiru didn't accuse him of anything. She didn't really say anything except for comforting words or phrases. She stopped talking choosing to sing a soft song instead. It was a method she used to calm down Ikumi or Sushi's brother, Suzaku. She just hoped the same would work for Kira.

He started crying harder when a realization hit him like a ton of bricks. If Gin asked him to join him and leave everything he had behind. To betray soul society…his friends…and leave the life he made for himself…he knew the answer. He knew the answer so well that it scared him. He gripped Michiru's pants making her look down at him.

"Izuru…" she said softly.

"Michiru…" Kira replied back.

She continued her soft strokes and gentle words as Kira started talking, "I was such a fool. Letting myself get caught up in such nonsense feelings."

"It's alright it happens to the best of us." Michiru said softly. "Don't beat yourself up too much about it."

"But Michiru if Gin asked me to go with him…I would've…I would've said…" Kira choked out his head falling back to her lap as his tears started flowing faster. Michiru continued the gentle motion of her fingers as she nodded. They both knew the answer. An answer that frightened Kira and scared Michiru, an answer they didn't need to say out loud. Michiru continued her soft singing her fingers calming Kira down. For the first time, in a long time, Kira felt safe. A feeling he hasn't felt in a long time. A feeling he didn't want to let go of anytime soon.