How to Fall in Love

All for love… and nothing for reward. - Edmund Spenser

A/N: This is mostly a set of Byakuya's flashbacks. Mini lemon warning.

This time it wasn't infatuation in a flash, it had been more like a slow dance. He had barely been aware of what was happening, fighting with himself until it was far too late to protect his heart.

"What are you doing?" Byakuya asked sourly.

The little girl hid herself behind Ichigo's legs and began to cry. Byakuya frowned. He hadn't meant to scare her. He had barely noticed her and had directed his question to Ichigo.

"Don't be scared," Ichigo said, holding the small girl aloft. She cried into his shoulder. "Shh." He looked up at Byakuya. "Are we on your property now?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I guess I went too far then. I'm trying to find her parents," Ichigo explained. "I found her in a field, by herself, crying. She had wandered off from the group she was with."

"There's a village not too far from here. I imagine that's where she is from," Byakuya told him.

"Can you lead me there?" Ichigo asked. Byakuya nodded. "Hold on tight. We're going to go really fast again, okay?" Ichigo told the girl.

Once in the village they had easily found several people who had recognized the child and led them to a house down a small dirt path.

"Auntie!" the girl cried when she saw the woman at the home's entrance. Ichigo bent over and set the girl down. She ran to her aunt, crying into her kimono.

"Her parents are out looking for her, but I know where they're looking. I'll be able to send a messenger from town," the lady told Ichigo. "Thank you."

"Of course," Ichigo responded with a smile.

Although it practically pained Byakuya to do it, he had invited Ichigo over for tea. As they sat in the garden sipping at their cups, Byakuya noted, "You are good with children."

"Ah well, I have sisters, you know. Plus, sometimes kids' parents come into the clinic because of an accident or something. I sit with them before their relatives get there. I think they like the hair," Ichigo grinned at him.

There was brief silence.

"You know, I used to hate how everyone treated me, but I'd hate to be you," Ichigo said.

"Why is that?"

"What do you mean? Those villagers were too scared to even speak to you." Ichigo replied.

"It was respect."

"It still means no-one's talking to you," Ichigo said with a shrug.

At the festival, Renji had whispered something to Rukia and the two had disappeared off someplace. 'Maybe to get food,' Byakuya supposed.

"Wow!" Ichigo said as the first fireworks lit up the sky.

"You told me that you had fireworks in the world of the living," Byakuya said. They shared a large blanket, but their posture was very different; Ichigo lying on the ground casually, looking up, Byakuya sitting upright in a formal posture, his back gracefully arched as he watched the skies.

"Well yeah, but it's just little explosions, not things like lions and dragons running across the sky," Ichigo said. "I wonder if I could get my kido controlled enough to do something like that."

"Doubtful," Byakuya told him.

Ichigo looked to the side. "Do you want me to leave?"

"I want you to be quiet," Byakuya replied, successfully restraining an eye roll.

"I mean there's...uh...I forget his name...but one of the guys from your elder council, giving me the evil eye over there. Maybe he wants to talk to you," Ichigo said.

"He most likely just doesn't like you being so near me."

"Aw, the noble Kuchiki blood must be protected from my cooties, is that it?" Ichigo gave Byakuya an upside down grin from his place on the blanket. "I can still leave if you want."

"You mean all I had to do was ask?" Byakuya said innocently. "I should have tried that sooner."

"Ha."

"Contrary to your belief, not every aspect of my life is controlled by the council. Stay where you are," Byakuya said.

"Feisty," Ichigo joked. "Did they do something to piss you off? I could glare at him for you, or even get closer to their beloved leader. Maybe I'll give him a stroke."

"That won't be necessary."

Byakuya paused at the door.

"Oh, come on," Ichigo was saying.

"Don't touch that, Lieutenant!" he heard his chef say. "If you are hungry, allow me to make you some food."

"I just want to make myself a sandwich. I can do that myself."

"It's not allowed."

"Are you saying Byakuya can't come in here and make himself a snack?" Ichigo asked the man.

"Lord Kuchiki doesn't make his own food."

"If he wanted to, he could, though."

There was a slightly mortified silence as the chef considered what would happen if Byakuya showed up in the kitchen.

"Please, Lieutenant..." the chef begged.

"Almost done anyways," Ichigo said. "I suppose I should clean up at least."

"That is not required."

Byakuya smiled to himself. He imagined the slightly portly chef practically shoving Ichigo out the door. He walked to his study.

"Hey, Byakuya," Ichigo said, sticking in his head. Byakuya sighed and wondered if it would ever be possible to train someone like Ichigo to at least greet him with some semblance of dignity. "Want some food? I made sandwiches."

"I'm not hungry," Byakuya declined, "And I'd appreciate you not terrorizing my staff."

"Terrorizing? You mean talking to? I had a conversation with one of the maids and I think she almost died. Do you just ignore all the people under you?"

"It's not your place to tell me how to treat my people. I treat them well."

"I guess that's true. If they act that way to me, then if you of all people talked to them, they might pass out. Better to just walk by them rather than get them all worked up, huh?" Ichigo said, munching on his sandwich.

"Why are you even here?"

"Rukia invited me over. Hmm, maybe she's hungry," Ichigo thought out loud as he wandered towards her quarters.

There was a rustling sound and a dark shadow moving. Byakuya instantly lit up the hall with a kido spell.

"Ichigo?" Byakuya said, for once allowing his confusion to clearly show on his face.

"It was a dare!" Ichigo claimed, forcing himself to not hide his face, bright red even under the pale white make up. "I lost a dare to Shuuhei, Kira and Renji. Rukia helped them with the clothes and the makeup. I had to dress like a geisha and run completely through the Kuchiki compound," he said, his voice slightly squeaking in embarrassment.

Byakuya had no reply to that. Ichigo took the moment to begin to leave.

"Ichigo," Byakuya told him.

"Yes?" Ichigo looked back.

"You'll make someone a fine wife," Byakuya said seriously.

Ichigo's face looked so pained that Byakuya couldn't help it, he laughed. Ichigo laughed as well.

It was only later that Byakuya realized that he had called Ichigo by his first name and only his first name. 'The silly child is influencing me, and not for the better,' he considered.

"Please, Byakuya," Ichigo begged.

"I'm thinking it over," Byakuya replied.

Ichigo gave a small whine and tried to move, but he was effectively pinned to Captain Kuchiki's desk, laying on his back, his clothing askew. His kimono was open, revealing his bare sweating chest, his hakama and fundoshi lying puddled on the ground, still wrapped around an ankle. His face was flushed and he was panting.

"Tell me you're sorry for barging into my office, even after all the times I've told you not to," Byakuya said into Ichigo's ear.

"I'm...sorry..." Ichigo panted.

"Call me at least by my title," Byakuya insisted.

"No," Ichigo said, looking to the side. Byakuya shifted his weight and Ichigo moaned, his insides on fire where Byakuya was pressing. "Fine...please...Captain Kuchiki..."

"Please what?"

"Please, touch me."

Byakuya smiled and finally moved, thrusting into Ichigo deeply. Ichigo head went back as a howl erupted from his throat.

Byakuya woke up with a start, sitting on his bed pad. 'I'm going insane. It's the only logical answer,' he thought to himself. He felt his throbbing erection and ignored it. He cursed himself and stumbled towards his shower, standing in the spray with his head against the tile. 'Why do my dreams betray me?' He wondered. At first it was just an occasional thing, but now his sleeping nights were consumed by thoughts of Ichigo and sex.

'I'm treading a very fine line,' he thought. 'It's so easy to slip up when obsessed.'

The other day he had come into his study to find the boy asleep on his futon. He had gone towards Ichigo to wake him, but had found his hands going through the boy's hair instead. He pulled his hand back as if struck. It hadn't been a thought, just an action.

"Get out," he intoned to Ichigo, pushing him awake.

"Byakuya," Ichigo had mumbled sleepily, adorably.

"OUT!"

"Rukia, what is wrong?"

"Brother...I'm sorry," Rukia said, rubbing at her face. "I'm just worried because Ichigo hasn't come backfrom his mission yet."

"Ichigo is foolhardy, but he is hard to kill. I'm sure he's fine," Byakuya assured her.

It was a week later and there was still no news. He wandered by the 13th division headquarters. "Captain Ukitake," Byakuya greeted his fellow captain.

"Captain Kuchiki, how are you?"

"I actually came to see if you were faring well," Byakuya said.

"I'm...just worried. There have been no reports of hollow attacks, but..."

"So you haven't heard from your lieutenant then?"

"Nothing."

It had been almost two weeks when he ran into Rukia and Renji in the garden.

Renji was holding Rukia close. "It's okay. You know how he is," Renji told her. The two jumped apart when they noticed Byakuya.

It was just over two weeks when he felt Ichigo in the Seireitei. He tried to not rush over to Squad 13.

The small group of returning shinigami looked a little worn but not bloodied. Captain Ukitake was laughing and Rukia kept hitting Ichigo in the arm.

"Oh, hello Captain Kuchiki," Captain Ukitake said, when he noticed him.

"Hey, Byakuya," Ichigo greeted him with a lopsided grin.

'He's scowling the rest of the time. Why does he smile only for me?' Byakuya wondered.

"Did you get lost?" Byakuya asked simply.

"Err, no. Actually there was a small town that kept getting attacked by bandits. We tried to clear up as many of the bandits as we could but it just wasn't going to be enough, so I made the guys build a fence," Ichigo replied.

"A...fence..." Byakuya was a little stunned.

"You know, like a wall around the town. I mean, the town people helped too, but it was easier for us to do the heavy lifting because of our spiritual pressure. The guys didn't want to do it at first; they said it wasn't within their duties, but I...err...convinced them," Ichigo said.

Captain Ukitake laughed. "Well, you know what they say, 'teach a man to fish'..."

'Only Ichigo would do something as simultaneously stupid and endearing,' Byakuya thought.

"The messenger they had sent got a fever and was lying delirious in another village," Rukia explained.

"I guess next time I'll send two," Ichigo said.

"Or simply use a hell butterfly," Byakuya shook his head in exasperation.

Ichigo rambled over to Byakuya and raised a bloody fist to his haori, pulling on it to balance himself. "Byakuya, send someone for him, please…I'm begging you…" tears were in his eyes.

"I will, of course, send people," Byakuya clasped that bloody hand and met those bloodshot eyes.

"Thank you…thank you so much," Ichigo said. "I-I can't hold it in any longer…" he said, falling to his knees.

Byakuya went white and bent down to the lieutenant. "Lieutenant Kurosaki, are you…"

Ichigo sighed and then a hundred wounds opened up at once, pouring out blood. His spiritual pressure dimmed and he fell to the wooden floor.

Byakuya felt his heart in his throat as he held the boy up, warm blood dripping down his arms.

"Ichigo!" he said, trying to keep Ichigo awake. Although his emotions were panicking, he was trained enough to simply collect Ichigo into his arms and stand. He looked to Unohana, who nodded to him. He was halfway across the Seireitei, following the captain of the fourth, before he realized he hadn't taken leave of the head captain.

"Please, you have to leave," Unohana said, as they began to work on Ichigo.

Byakuya's eyes were still glued to the boy as they cut his clothing off of him and starting to assess his wounds.

"Captain Kuchiki," Unohana said again.

"Of course," Byakuya said, retreating to the hall. He hated the feeling of dried blood, how it crinkled in his hand. 'I should get my haori washed immediately to prevent staining,' he thought absently. Yet he didn't want to leave, because even though he couldn't see Ichigo anymore, he could still feel him clinging to life. The members of Squad 4 simply ignored him after it became apparent he wasn't going to move anytime soon.

"Captain Kuchiki," Unohana said as she came out. "I didn't expect you to still be here."

Byakuya couldn't think up a suitable excuse.

"He'll be fine," Unohana said. "He's not in any immediate danger."

Byakuya nodded and forced his feet to take him away from the place. He had no real reason to stay there. He went back to his estate and washed away the blood, scrubbing himself until he was raw, trying to remove Ichigo's blood that remained under his fingernails.

'Ichigo is obviously upset,' Byakuya thought to himself, feeling Ichigo's spiritual pressure leak through the walls as he and Rukia talked in the next room.

"We accept your kind offer, brother," Rukia said once they were in front of Byakuya again.

Ichigo didn't meet Byakuya's eyes.

Byakuya inclined his head. 'It is done then,' he thought to himself.

"Thank you," Ichigo said.

"I suppose I need to let the elder council know now and begin wedding preparations," Byakuya mentioned.

"And this room will need to be repainted. We'll also need a cradle," Byakuya told his handyman.

"Lady Kuchiki will be staying in here after the wedding?" the man struggled to understand.

Byakuya paused. "We haven't really made it known yet, but she is expecting."

The man broke out in a smile. "Congratulation, Lord Kuchiki."

"She wants to be with the baby when it is first born, and I'm often in and out late and don't want to disturb the both of them. That's why we'll have the room set up here," Byakuya explained. The man nodded. Byakuya didn't need to offer the man any explanation but he supposed it would keep down the gossip.

"What about the room next to yours?" the handyman suggested.

"It is a little too small. I was thinking that's where Ichigo Kurosaki could stay."

"Lieutenant Kurosaki, lord?"

"He will be the child's guardian."

"You don't need to stay right away. I thought you'd want to see it, though," Byakuya explained as he and Ichigo walked through the room.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay tonight. They're patching a hole in the roof of my quarters right now," Ichigo said.

That night, Byakuya stood in front of their connecting wall, his hand on it. He could hear Rukia speaking, and Ichigo laughing. 'I've become such a woman,' he thought to himself. 'Am I going to waste away too, weeping?' He laughed at himself. His shoulders tensed as he felt a presence at his door. There was a pause, and then a knock.

"Come in, Kurosaki," Byakuya called out.

Ichigo opened the door. "I liked Ichigo better," he said. He looked around. "I thought this was your bedroom."

"It's my personal quarters. This is my sitting room. My bedroom is through that door."

"Oh," Ichigo was looking nervous.

"Is something wrong?"

"Are you sure about this, Byakuya?" Ichigo asked. "You're giving a lot up. I mean, what if you want to start a relationship or something?"

"Nobility is notorious for having wives and mistresses," Byakuya pointed out.

"That's disgusting," Ichigo wrinkled his nose.

"I agree. I haven't had a romantic relationship with anyone since my wife. I don't see me having one any time soon," Byakuya said.

"But...you shouldn't cut yourself off like that. It wasn't healthy before, and it doesn't mean it's a good idea to keep doing it," Ichigo told him.

Byakuya wondered what he would have said, had Ichigo attempted to give him relationship advice a year ago.

"It's just...you don't have to do this. There are other ways."

"It's fine, Ichigo," Byakuya said, making a motion towards the door. Ichigo allowed himself to be led out.

"I feel guilty," Ichigo confessed from the doorway. "Besides, everything I do pisses you off. Why wouldn't this huge thing cause you to hate me?"

"There's no accounting for love," Byakuya told him. "I know that personally."

"If you truly believe that, then...then..." Ichigo looked at him. "There's something you should know."

"Ichigo!" Rukia called, coming up behind him. "I was wondering where you were."

"...Rukia..." Ichigo sputtered a little.

"Sorry for bothering you, brother," Rukia said, leading Ichigo away.

Byakuya stood out on his balcony looking at the stars. 'Love has always meant sacrifice to me. That's just how it is.'

'When did I determine it was love?' He wondered to himself. 'Why not just attraction, affection, and lust? It doesn't matter anymore anyways, does it? '