Scene Four: Reno Gets a Pussy

((Author's Notes: Hi. I'm not dead. It's been something like a year and a half since I last wrote anything, but I suddenly wanted to again, and this was what happened when I decided to do something fairly light as a warm up. This scene takes place during our crew's Turk days (In my AU, they've quit and are kind of a part of Avalanche in Junon Harbor). Anyway, Reno's cat has been featured a number of times before, and the tale of how he got him was summarized in Battlegrounds. I always wanted to write the story of that event, though, and this seemed like as good a time as any. Sorry about the title, haha. It popped into my head and I couldn't help myself! Hopefully I'll be writing more soon. Please stop by my Facebook page for updates. Peace! ~ JenesisX ))

Reno pounded down the dark street, boots slapping through puddles of murky water. The night was a cold one, the rain hard enough that it had seeped through the plate and fell from above in a steady icy drizzle. His clothing was damp despite the protection of his favorite leather jacket, a black one that hung down past his waist. Shorter ones always rode up as he moved, and he hated that.

"Where the fuck did they go?" Rude asked from a short distance behind him, his partner's deep voice winded as he tried to keep up. He was a very big man, and while extremely talented at a great many things, pure speed was not one of them. His footfalls hit the concrete like anvils, and Reno was glad this wasn't a stealth mission. Their targets had already seen them coming, which explained why they were running like the Grim Reaper was on their asses. He was.

Reno stopped at the corner and looked both ways, squinting to see in the poor lightning. The sky was completely blocked out by the metal ceiling that was Upper Midgar, and most of the few street lights down here in the slums were broken. He swore, chewing his lower lip in frustration. Both targets were out of sight.

"Shit," he muttered, attempting to catch his breath. "Okay, we'll split up. That's what they've done if they're smart. You go left… This street dead ends in that direction and there're only so many places they could hide. I'll go right and then double back around. Hopefully Tseng and Hammer are still tailing the other prick that had the package."

"Right, Reno," Rude agreed easily. The big guy hadn't been with the Turks nearly as long as Reno had even though he was half a decade older. Thankfully, the hulking man was agreeable and had quickly become the best partner Reno'd ever had. Rude took a moment to wipe a dark hand across his forehead, trying in vain to keep the sweat pouring from his bald head out of his eyes. And then he was off again, quickly disappearing into the shadows with gun in hand.

Reno took a deep breath, then turned and jogged in the opposite direction. A long line of dilapidated, interconnected houses lined the empty street, many of them tightly boarded up or protected by thick security bars. His targets were in a serious hurry, so he doubted they would have taken the time to break into one of the buildings even if they could have managed it bare-handed. And they couldn't have had much of a lead on him; he would have heard the racket if they'd tried to force their way inside.

Unfortunately, that left a number of narrow alleys every half a dozen doors or so. It would have been easy to slip into one of them and find a back way to escape… or to lie in wait for an opportunity to ambush their pursuers. Reno knew he had to stay alert despite how tired and cold he was. All it would take was one moment of carelessness for it to be game over, something his previous partner had learned all too well. He regretted that he and Rude had had to split up, but they couldn't risk these assholes getting away with all those drugs. It was a sizeable enough delivery that its sale could give whoever was at the top of the food chain access to way too many things. With all the threats President Shin-ra had been getting from various terrorists and other scum, it was something that could not be allowed. If they failed, he did not want to sit in on their next meeting and listen to the old man bluster and insult them. As if he could do a better job.

Maybe if he wasn't such a douchebag, so many people wouldn't want to kill him!

Reno also had some rather personal experience with how badly those illegal chemicals could fuck up the people they were sold to, and that motivated him almost as much as his duty to Shin-ra Incorporated. If he could help keep that shipment out of the hands of some poor slum kid desperate for escape, he'd go home a happy man. If he got to end a few of the lowlife dealers in the process? All the better.

Reno stopped just short of the first alley he came to and paused with his back against the wall, straining to hear the smallest sound coming out of the dark. He couldn't help but wrinkle his nose, the stench of old trash, urine and something dead invading his sinuses. It was a smell that had practically defined his life before Tseng had approved his application and made him a Turk, and he didn't ever want to go back. He also intended to stay alive to continue enjoying his new life. He let all of his senses open up and reach out into the night, adrenaline pumping through his veins and the cold metal of his favorite weapon secure in his grasp.

When only silence and the sound of what he knew was a large rat hunting for a meal greeted his ears, he exchanged his beloved night stick for his gun. He quickly checked it out of habit and made sure the safety was off and a bullet was ready in the chamber. Then he leaped into the mouth of the alleyway, pointing his weapon straight ahead with a steady hand.

Nothing. Damn, where did those jackasses go? Reno was pissed that he'd had to chase them for the last half an hour, annoyed that his toes were frozen inside his wet socks, and irritated that even his boxers were plastered to his skin. The rain was full of all kinds of nasty by the time it slipped through the plate from Upper Midgar, and he tried not to think about it. He was willing to bet germaphobe Rude was, though, smirking to himself. That little quirk left room for so many awesome prank possibilities. He'd actually made a list.

Reno slowly began making his way down the alley, his eyes on the overflowing dumpster a few yards ahead. Its lid was stuck open on a forty-five degree angle thanks to how full it was, and there was next to zero chance of it ever being emptied or carted away. It made for good cover, and he'd definitely had attackers leap out at him from behind and even inside similar trash receptacles before. There was nobody behind this one, though, just a pile of used syringes, cigarette butts, and a filthy old blanket spread over a flattened section of cardboard. He really hoped someone didn't actually sleep there.

Reno wished he had time for a smoke of his own, but quickly pushed the thought away. He would eliminate his target first, and then he could go home, take a shower, and smoke and drink all he wanted for the rest of the night. Maybe he'd see if Rude wanted to come over and watch a movie or two. Some Wutaiian takeout would be in order, or-

Shit, I gotta stay focused here…

Reno shook his head to clear it and continued forward, cautiously scanning ever shadow and dark corner. He soon reached the end of the fetid alley, finding no evidence of the men they were after. He'd just turned around and begun to jog back to the street when a strange sound broke the silence. He instantly snapped to alert, jerking the muzzle of his gun sharply to his left.

What the hell is that? he wondered, frowning in concentration. He remained frozen in place, waiting to see if the odd noise would repeat. A moment later, it did.

"Mew!"

"What the fuck…?"

Reno peered down at the ground where the high pitched call seemed to originate. He cocked his head and waited again, and soon the tiny cry repeated. He crept forward, his eyes locked on a small window well directly across from the dumpster. The sound was echoing up from down inside, he realized, wondering what it could be. Was something trapped down there? He knew he should leave and continue his manhunt, but found himself drawn to the sound as if physically urged forward by an unseen force.

Reno leaned forward on his hips and peered down into the window well, and at first he didn't see anything but empty beer cans, a moldy pizza box, and other assorted trash. He was about to leave, assuming he'd been hearing things, when there was another cry directly below him.

"Mew?"

Reno jumped in surprise, scolding himself for being an idiot. As his vision finally adjusted to the inky darkness, he found himself gazing into a pair of tiny eyes. They reflected the small amount of light that crept down into one corner of the tight space, seeming to glow like Mako eyes.

Was that a… cat down in there?

Kitten, he quickly corrected himself, his blue eyes widening. A very, very small kitten. Reno didn't know much about the feline species, but it was obvious that this tiny orange and white tabby was far too young to be alone. And most definitely stuck inside the window well without a prayer of escape.

"Awww," he heard himself croon before he could help it, taking in the kitten's wet, dirty fur. It was thin, too, and its eyes were running and crusted up at the corners. Even still, it was quite possibly the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. He felt an instant connection to the helpless creature, maybe because he remembered being cold and hungry on these very streets not all that long ago.

"Are you stuck down there, little guy?" he asked in a quiet voice, dropping into a crouching position to take a closer look. The window well was over two feet deep, and there was no way the kitten could get out on its own. It must have fallen inside and found itself trapped and separated from its mother. Reno knew with certainty that the frail creature would die if he left it there, and the thought was horrifying. He'd always liked cats and often fed the strays in his old neighborhood when he had anything to spare… and sometimes even when he didn't. There was no way in hell he was leaving this kitten to its fate, mission be damned.

"Okay, just hang on, I'm gonna get you out of there," Reno said in a soft voice. The kitten's eyes held uncertainty and a bit of fear, but it inched out of the corner and into the center of the tight space. It made another keening mewl as it gazed up at him, almost pleading with its eyes. Reno felt his hardened heart melt as he dropped first to his knees and then onto his stomach, trying not to think about what he was laying in. He was already soaked through anyway.

Once he was laying flat, he slowly extended his arm down into the well. He didn't want to frighten the animal with any sudden movements, and he hoped to the gods the men he was after didn't choose that moment to reappear and shoot him while he was defenseless. Shit, wouldn't that be an embarrassing way to go… possibly a more humiliating tale than that of his fellow Turk who'd been shot and severely wounded as he took a leak in the woods outside Kalm. Talk about being caught with your pants down.

To his surprise, the kitten didn't seem afraid of him. It made its way over to his outstretched arm, allowing him to grab a hold of it by the scruff of its neck. It weighed less than a pound, mewing plaintively as Reno lifted it up out of its prison. He sat back on his heels with the kitten cradled in his hands, a crooked grin spreading across his face.

"Well, hey there," he said quietly, gently stroking the top of the kitten's head with two fingers. Damn, it was small. It couldn't have been more than a few weeks old, its little ears barely standing and its eyes still transitioning from blue to yellow. "Poor little guy. You're all wet, and I bet you're hungry, too."

The kitten meowed as if in agreement, the little squeak one of the most pitiful sounds he'd ever heard. Reno knew he should set the kitten on the ground and get back to his mission, but he was just as certain the creature would not survive if he did. Its nose was running, and he could hear a quiet wheeze each time it inhaled. Could a cat catch a cold? He had no idea, but this little fellow sure seemed to have one. For some reason, Reno felt certain the kitten was a boy.

"Look, man. I'm sort of in the middle of a job here, but I can't just leave you like this," he said, as if the creature in his hands could understand him. The kitten tilted his head to the side, for all the world appearing to listen closely. "Fuck… We're not supposed to have pets in Shin-ra Headquarters, and I have no idea how to take care of you. But for now, you're coming with me."

Hoping the kitten didn't have fleas or mange or something, he got to his feet and carefully tucked him inside a large pocket on the inside of his jacket. The baby was so small he fit perfectly, and Reno pulled his jacket closed and zipped it up. He knew instinctively that he needed to warm the kitten and keep him from getting any more wet. He also needed to hide him until he got home and could figure out what to do with him. But he had a feeling he already knew the answer. He was going to be keeping his new friend.

Kitten safely stashed inside his pocket, he turned and hurried out of the alleyway, trying to refocus on his job. Hopefully it would be over soon, and he could head home to care for the little guy before he got any worse.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two hours later, Reno was sitting aboard a train and on his way back to Upper Midgar. He sat directly across from Rude, his partner gazing out the window at the scenery streaking by… if one could call the sprawling urban ruins that. Tseng and Hammer, a recent recruit still going through the end stages of his training, were seated across the aisle. The package they'd been seeking rested in their boss's lap, the brown paper wrapping soggy and partially torn away. The two of them had found their target and eliminated him, while Rude had located and killed both of the men that had been evading them. Reno felt a bit useless and outdone, but you couldn't win 'em all. He still had complete confidence in his awesomeness, and realized he had accomplished something even better than knocking off one of their targets or retrieving some drugs. He had saved a life.

He had his fingers crossed inside one pocket, hoping the kitten continued to remain silent and mostly still. So far, no one was the wiser about what was going on inside his jacket. He smiled to himself, looking forward to getting home and researching how to care for a young kitten on the computer. Damn, he actually wanted to read? What the fuck? But how hard could it be, after all? If the number of stray cats in the slums was any indication, the damn things practically raised themselves!

Ten minutes passed as they headed back toward the sector from which they could return to Upper Midgar. There were very few ways up to the plate, and Shin-ra Incorporated didn't want to make it easy for the denizens of the slums to invade. The few entrances were heavily guarded and monitored around the clock. Reno didn't often allow himself to think about the poor and unfortunate residents down below, or he'd soon be full of guilt that he'd managed to escape. He had enough other shit to feel bad about, thank you very much.

He'd begun to zone out, only vaguely listening to Rude and Hammer's discussion about a football game that was on television the following afternoon and who each was betting on with the Golden Saucer bookies. Shit-talking soon followed, Rude convinced the Upper Midgar Eagles would prevail and Hammer vocally supporting his hometown Snowy Village Vipers. Tseng took a phone call, and someone in the rear of the train car was coughing like they had the plague. Lovely.

Reno had almost forgotten about the kitten he was smuggling when it suddenly began to squirm about. The movement tickled, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from giggling.

Shit, dude, stay still!

The kitten didn't heed his silent plea, moving about restlessly. At least he didn't meow and give himself away. Maybe he had a sense of self preservation after all. So far no one had noticed the movement inside Reno's jacket or his pained expression, and he prayed it would stay that way. Fifteen more minutes. All he had to do was keep the little guy hidden for fifteen more minutes and they'd be home.

He was relieved when the kitten finally went still again, but a moment later he blinked in confusion. He suddenly felt quite warm along one side of his body, warmer than the kitten's body heat had previously made him. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, as there was no heat inside the train and he was still damp and chilly. But a moment later, he wrinkled his nose and frowned. What was that smell?

When he finally identified the distinctive odor and realized the spreading warmth was also wet, he almost leaped up out of his seat with revulsion.

Oh no! No, you did so not just…. Awww fuck, you did, didn't you?! God dammit, cat!

Reno went completely still, sitting rigidly in his seat as the warmth seeped into his torso and down his left leg. Shit, he had never even considered that the small kitten would need to go to the bathroom before he got him back to his apartment and… came up with a temporary toilet for him. Indoor cats shit in those boxes full of sand or whatever, didn't they? And when one was not provided, it seemed they would also empty their bladders inside his coat. Why did shit like this always happen to him?!

Reno shifted his weight and tried to casually glance down at himself. Thankfully his jacket was black leather and his navy blue suit was dark enough to hide most stains. Rude and Hammer had finally ended their football debate, the former now casually browsing for something on his PHS. The smell only grew stronger, and Reno hoped no one noticed. But there was no real ventilation inside the cramped train car, and after another minute or so Tseng cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. Reno cringed inwardly.

"Do you smell that?" Tseng asked, tilting his head a bit as if he knew what the odor was, but could not quite place it.

"Uh…. Smell what, boss?" Reno's face grew hot and he pulled his jacket as tightly around him as he could, hoping to contain the fumes.

"I thought I smelled something," Rude agreed, turning slightly on the bench seat across from Reno and scanning the area behind him. Dammit, Rude was like a freaking bloodhound. This was bad. Very, very bad.

"Nasty, whatever it is," Hammer added, his green eyes starting to water thanks to the ammonia in the air. He raised one meaty fist and rubbed at them, his facial features scrunching together. "Probably that guy hacking up his pancreas back there." He jabbed a thumb in the elderly man's general direction. "Slum trash… shouldn't even be allowed on the train."

Reno's head snapped in his direction, glaring at the rookie Turk and momentarily forgetting about his predicament. "Hey, man, watch your fucking mouth. Do you know where I'm-"

"RENO! What the absolute fuck!" Rude suddenly exclaimed, drawing Reno's attention away from the muscle-bound idiot before he could finish ripping him a new one. His best friend's eyes were wide behind his shades, and Reno realized with horror that his stare was fixed on his lap… and the steady drip of yellow liquid emerging from beneath him and rolling off the edge of the seat to pool between his boots.

"Dude! Did you fucking pee your pants?!" Hammer exclaimed, bursting out into a loud guffaw. "Sir! Reno wet himself!"

Tseng turned and looked at Reno, and the normally stoic Wutaiian's dark eyes widened comically. "Reno… are you feeling okay?"

"I didn't fucking pee myself!" Reno exclaimed, desperate to defend himself but unsure of what to say in way of explanation. "I uh… I… There's a yellow soda in my pocket, and I guess it's leaking."

Tseng's expression was skeptical, and Rude was still staring in mute horror. Hammer was laughing hysterically until his eyes ran and he was gasping for air, and Reno was about to leap across the aisle and slug him in his oversized nose when he froze mid-stand.

"Mew?" said his jacket.

Hammer snapped his mouth shut and stopped texting someone, definitely intending to spread the word that Reno had bladder control issues throughout the entire department. Rude suddenly looked even more horrified, and Tseng's frown deepened.

"Reno. Do you have a… cat in your jacket?"

"Um…." he stood and looked down at himself. The inside of his left leg was stained dark with wetness, and the odor increased exponentially as if freed from beneath him. Reno sighed heavily, unable to meet his boss's accusing gaze, and briefly closed his eyes. "Yeah…"

"Do you care to explain why?"

Reno reached inside his jacket and carefully brought the mostly dry orange tabby out to show the others.

"Awww!" Hammer exclaimed to Reno's shock, reaching across the aisle to pet the kitten atop his tiny head with two thick fingers. "Damn, that's a tiny kitty. Really young. Where did you find it?"

"I hate cats," Rude said, folding his thick arms across his chest.

Reno explained how he'd found and rescued the kitten, allowing Hammer to hold him for a moment as Rude continued to eye the creature with open revulsion. Tseng quietly shook his head, disapproval clear on his face.

"You know animals are not allowed in Headquarters," he said. Reno was about to argue when Tseng continued. "But I always thought employees living there should be allowed to have a pet if they wished to. As long as you can get him inside without being seen, I'm not going to say a word. I am certain Hammer and Rude will do the same."

Reno blinked, surprised as hell. But maybe he shouldn't have been. Tseng might not have been the type to own a pet, but he always had the health and happiness of his Turks at the forefront of his mind. Hammer nodded his agreement right away, already enchanted by the kitten. And while Rude snorted and shook his head Reno knew his partner wouldn't betray him.

"Wow… thanks, boss! He's just so helpless and I think he's sick. I'm gonna have to find one of those animal doctors…"

"Veterinarian."

"Yeah, those."

Rude rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath as their stop was announced over the intercom. The brakes of the train were shrill as it was gradually brought to a stop, and Hammer handed the kitten back to Reno as they stood to exit the car. He felt a bit guilty when he eyed the puddle on the floor and the wet bench, hoping no one nice sat there without realizing it. But he still couldn't help but giggle at the thought as he tucked his new pet back inside his jacket. He wondered how hard it was to wash cat pee out of clothing as he squished along the aisle.

The group exited the train and began to walk toward the waiting car that would drive them back to Headquarters. Rude looked down at him with open disgust, clearly unimpressed with Reno's good deed or his new friend. He glanced at his watch and groaned miserably.

"Dammit, Reno… Now we're going to be stuck inside a car with you in rush hour traffic. That's fucking disgusting. You smell really pissy."

"That's it!" he exclaimed, turning to Rude with a huge grin on his face. "That's what I'm going to call him!"

Rude threw him a blank look, his brow furrowed and partially vanishing behind his dark sunglasses. "What is…?"

"Pissy! Pissy the Pussy. Hahahaha! I'm a genius!"

~ ~ And they lived happily ever after…. Well, not really. ~ ~