Okay…I have nothing to say this time…

Chapter 4

Ichigo woke up to the sun and rubbed his eyes. He was shocked that Byakuya had actually let him stay in his manor, and for so long as well. He had a sneaking suspicion that Rukia had something to do with it.

He knew that he should be getting back to the human world. No doubt his father (who still had explaining to do) and sisters were worried. But something held him back. He wanted to wait until Toushirou woke up. Though he knew that it could take a very long time, if he even does wake up, he waited. He had a feeling that if Toushirou was going to wake up, that it would be soon. He was just that kind of a person, always quick to recover.

The main reason that he wanted to see him wake up was because he felt that he owed his life to him. Well, technically, they all did. He had saved them in that moment when all seemed lost and provided the conditions in which Aizen was finally defeated. He felt the need to thank him.

And also, like everyone else, he was worried about Toushirou. They may not know each other that well, but Ichigo had a grudging respect for him, not unlike his respect for Byakuya, and could almost say that he considered the kid-captain a friend.

He stretched, yawned, and got up, pulling on his shihakushou.

He wondered if today would be any different.

*

Momo stared around her in confusion. She saw a chaotic hassle of people, all fourth division officers running this way and that, shouting urgent messages and commands to each other.

"This is Iemura Yasochika, Fourth Company, 3rd seat! I am requesting an immediate spirit cleansing barrier in the east wing. Also, contact the soutaichou and gather all the captains. We need them to put up a barrier against this reiatsu! Also, we may want to put a ring of Sekkiseki (the type of stone that the walls of Seireitei are made of. For the sake of the story, lets say they have some extra) around the area. It will keep the reiatsu at bay," Iemura shouted into microphone of a set of earphones used for communication.

"Understood," came an urgent answer and with a click, the earphones turned off.

"Okay! All under seventh seat clear the area immediately- Hey! What the heck are you doing here, Ogidou?"

The handsome former 8th seat answered coolly, "I got promoted to seventh seat since Yamada got promoted,"

"I don't understand how that little…oh never mind, what is it?"

"The message has been sent, sir. The captains are on their way. Unohana-taichou requires assistance in the east wing," Ogidou informed the agitated third seat.

East wing, but isn't that where Hitsugaya-kun is? Momo wondered, a sense of dread filling the pit of her stomach. Then she felt something. A sudden burst of reiatsu, accompanied by a frigid blast of air. All in the area shielded their faces against it. But just as sudden as it had appeared, it vanished. It happened again rising so high that it would freeze the whole area, and diminish until Momo could barely feel it. It was a reiatsu that she recognized, and would have known anywhere. Toushirou's reiatsu.

"What's going on?" she ask, her voice slightly high pitched in apprehension.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou!" Iemura whirled around, nearly elbowing Ogidou in the face in the process. "I'm sorry, I did not see you. Please stay away for now. There is something wrong with Hitsugaya-taichou's reiatsu. It keeps fluctuating like this. If this keeps up…well…that isn't good. It's already demolished half of his room. Who knows what it could do to him…" he trailed off immediately at the sudden stony expression on Momo's face.

He was about to say something to reassure the lieutenant when suddenly Hanatarou came skidding around the corner, carrying a tray of the Sekkiseki. Somehow, he managed to trip over his feet, knock into Momo, crash headfirst into Iemura's stomach, throw his tray into the air, showering them with the rock fragments, nearly hit Ogidou in the face with the flying tray, and cause him and Iemura to both crash to the ground unceremoniously. The tray clattered to the ground with a deafening crash, the stones bouncing across the ground.

Iemura let out a strangled scream. "You idiot!" he screamed at Hanatarou, his voice echoing through the halls. "You clutz! How did such a fool like you get promoted!"

Muttering a stream of curses nonstop under his breath, Iemura leapt off the floor and quickly gathered the Sekkiseki, while Hanatarou apologized profusely to them all.

"If you're sorry, help me pick all this up!" Iemura screeched. Hanatarou jumped and immediately scrambled to the ground with the third seat, picking up the stones. Ogidou dropped to his knees and helped them pick it up.

Momo was about to help when she found that the efficient fourth division officers already picked up all the rock. Iemura snatched the tray away from Hanatarou just as he was about to pick it up again and dashed down the hall in Hanatarou's place. Hanatarou blinked in confusion, while Ogidou chuckled, bowed to Momo, and hurried away.

Momo giggled. Iemura had always been impatient, especially with Hanatarou. However, she sobered immediately as she remembered what Iemura had said.

"Yamada-san," she said as Hanatarou was about to go after the two officers as well. "What exactly happened?"

"Ah! Fukutaichou…um…well…you see…" the nervous boy wrung his hands and looked away, a nervous smile on his face. "Early this morning, Hitsugaya-taichou's reiatsu suddenly went off and caused a huge explosion in his room and froze over the whole east wing. Since then, it's been fluctuating constantly, sometimes going so high that even captains would feel crushed, and sometimes…sometimes it's as if it isn't there at all. Unohana-taichou's really worried. She's afraid that his body can't take it. It's still weak, and well…you saw what happened last time…It's affecting him worse this time. He won't stop shaking, and…" he trailed off, clearly not wanting to go on.

Momo's eyes widened in understanding. Not again…she thought. "I see…" she said, trying to keep her voice calm and normal. "Please tell me when something happens."

She turned away, as if in a daze, and then began to wander aimlessly through the hall, while other shinigami bustled about her. Hanatarou looked at her, worry on his face, but she didn't take any notice. She was unaware of her surroundings, and strangle empty and devoid of emotion as she walked.

Around her, other people rushed by, smiling, or grumbling about paperwork, as she made her way out of fourth division and down a busy street. They were all part of an ordinary train of life, all discussing menial things. Momo felt strangely cut off from it all, as if she didn't exist, or at least, not in the simple lives of these people.

She kept walking, no destination in mind, so it was a shock when she suddenly found herself at the edge of Seireitei, at where the western gate was suppose to be. Jidanbo was stading beside what was left of the gate from Aizen's reiatsu and hollow attacks.

Jidanbo turned as she approached. "Hinamori-fukutaichou!" he greeted cheerfully. "How's everything?"

Momo shock her head. "Don't be so formal, Jidanbo-san. It doesn't matter. And everything's…fine, I suppose."

Jidanbo scrutinized her, not missing her pause before the word 'fine'. "How's Hitsugaya-taichou?" he asked. "I heard he was gravely injured in battle." He looked sad at the thought.

Momo's eyes widened involuntarily. Why oh why did Jidanbo have ask her that question and remind her of everything, just when she had been trying unconsciously to forget it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and answered, "he's…he's okay…just…not improving…" she whispered, fighting back a shudder.

Jidanbo's face fell. Momo knew that the giant had befriended Toushirou a long time ago, and probably still shared that friendship. Although his simple mind may not understand the complete situation and Momo's feelings, he understood enough to know that it was prudent not to prod any further. "I see. I hope he gets better soon. He hasn't come to see me in ages!" he boomed.

Momo almost smiled. Somehow, the giant's simple thoughts were a relief and helped ease her pain. It was a relief to break away from her complex jumble of thoughts and anxiety and think the way Jidanbo did. Just looking at everything in simple terms. Sometimes, she really wondered how Jidanbo and Toushirou became friends. They were as different as night and day. Toushirou was small, quick, lithe, and incredibly sharp. Jidanbo on the other hand was large, burly, and simple-minded (not in a bad way!), and just overall much rougher. But the two have been friends for almost as long as Momo and Toushirou have, though maybe not as close.

"Well, Hinamori-chan, are you going into Rukongai today?" Jidanbo asked.

Momo pondered her options. There was really nothing to do in Seireitei that day, except for paperwork, which she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on. In fact, she was too preoccupied to do much at all. a visit to her childhood home sounded nice, and it would be an escape from all her problems.

"I suppose I am. I haven't been to visit granny for a while," she said.

Jidanbo stood aside to let her pass. Waving a half-hearted goodbye, she walked off the smooth white tiles of Seireitei into the familiar rough dirt of Rukongai.

She was aware of stares as she made her way down a path to her old home. It isn't often that the citizens of Rukongai see shinigami there, though recently, there has been an increase in sightings and number of shinigami in Rukongai due to damage repairs and such. Still, the girl walking so listlessly down the road didn't seem at all like a person here to repair damage.

Momo saw her house in the distance. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her. For a moment, she could almost see her and Toushirou as children, gobbling down watermelon on the familiar porch. Then, the more recent image of Toushirou in fourth division, swathed in bandages, flashed across her vision, and she felt strangely dizzy.

She shook her head to rid herself of the images, and set off toward the house. She ignored the stares of the villagers as she walked. She was so lost in her own thoughts that it was awhile before she registered that someone was calling her name.

"Hinamori-chan!"

She turned, and for a moment, stared in confusion at the two people calling her name. They were dressed in the ordinary clothes of Rukongai. They looked familiar. After a while, she finally realized who they were.

"Ayumi-chan! Tatsukichi-kun! (Note: these are Momo's old friends. See bleach –15) I haven't seen you for ages!" she said, cheerfully.

"Of course not! We heard that it was really chaotic in Seireitei. Don't know the details though. But you haven't visited since the summer!"

Momo looked away, feeling guilty. The reason that she hadn't visited was that she was in a coma, indused by Aizen, and afterwards, she had been so intent on training. Her face hardened, and her old friends seemed to have noticed.

"Is something wrong?" Ayumi asked.

"No, nothing," Momo replied unconvincingly.

The other two exchanged a look. "Is that ice-cube, Hitsugaya, is he still there? We haven't seen him around either."

"Hitsugaya-kun's not an ice-cube!" Momo blurted out heatedly without thinking. Then, seeing the shocked expressions on her friends' faces, she quickly apologized. "Sorry, I'm just under a lot of stress at the moment."

She didn't know why she had snapped at her friends like that. But it was the first time that it dawned upon her that her friends had always seemed wary around Toushirou, and always avoided him. She wanted to slap herself for never noticing it.

"Well that's expected," Tatsukichi said. "You are a lieutenant of the 13…whatever it is."

"Gotei 13," Momo said absently.

"Yes that. So where's Hitsugaya?" Tatsukichi seemed to be trying to be more polite.

"He's…wounded. There was a battle-"

"Oh yeah! We saw it!" Ayumi said excitedly. "All those monsters came streaming into Soul Society. It was really scary!" she shivered at the memory. "But shinigami came to take care of it, and then…well, I can't explain, but there was this really cold wind and the sky turned stormy. It was like the dead of winter. We don't know what happened, but soon after, the hollows all ran away."

Momo's eyes widened. Had Toushirou's power even affected the weather in Soul Society, or had that been because Aizen had made the boundaries between the worlds so unstable at the time that this happened?

"How's granny?" Momo asked suddenly, worried. "She's…"

"She's fine. She was wounded, and almost killed," Ayumi quickly added, seeing Momo's horrified face, "But she's okay! This glasses wearing shinigami woman came and took care of the hollow in one blast! It was incredible!"

Momo breathed a sigh of relief. She would have to thank Nanao later. "I'm going to visit her. I'll see you around."

"Okay, Tatsukichi said. "Maybe next time, err, you can bring Hitsugaya…"

Momo didn't miss the undercurrent in his voice that stated that he'd rather that she didn't, but was trying to be polite. But Momo nodded, and walked off, walking perhaps a little faster than necessary.

She didn't know what it was, but somehow, she didn't feel that close to her old friends anymore. She had great friends in Renji and Izuru, Matsumoto, now Rukia, and of course, Toushirou. Perhaps it was because her shinigami friends had been through all the chaos with her, and understood almost everything. Her Rukongai friends will probably never truly understand Toushirou, and how he'd saved them all.

She shook her head as she realized something. As much as she was Toushirou's best friend, she didn't really know him as well as she thought. Even now, she still didn't know why he'd joined the ranks of shinigami, nor his motivation behind always getting stronger when he didn't seem ambitious at all, and especially why he had protected her.

Deciding that she didn't want any more weird looks, she used shunpo and flashed right to the porch of the house. She knew she left a wake of awed spectators, but at least she didn't have to deal with them. Slowly, she knocked on the side of the door and called out "Baa-san?"

"Momo, is that you?" came a kind, elderly voice. Her granny walked to the door, a kind smile on her old face. Momo saw bandages under the sleeve of her kimono, but her granny looked completely fine otherwise.

"Baa-san. It's so good to see you again!" Momo replied. She felt a little bit better already, just seeing her.

"It's good to see you too, Momo," her grandmother said, smiling. Then her smile faded. "Where's Toushirou?"

Momo's face fell, and she bowed her head. "It's a long story, baa-san."

"Well, come inside and tell me over a nice cup of tea," her granny turned into the room, and Momo followed, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she entered the familiar house. She went through all the motions of helping her granny make tea and serve the hot liquid.

When they were done, they sat in silence for a moment, sipping the tea. Then her granny put a hand on Momo's arm.

"Come, Momo, tell me everything. I've heard some rumors, and they seem true, but I want to know firsthand from you. You seem like you need to let it out, anyhow."

Momo looked down at her hands, chewing her lip, pondering where to start. At last, she decided to start with the very beginning. Once she started, she could not stop, no matter how painful it was. Everything came spilling out of her mouth like an unblocked dam, and she had no power to stop the flow, nor did she want to. The pressure behind the dam had built up for too long, and telling it was a release. She told of Aizen's supposed murder, and how she'd blamed Toushirou for it, of Rukia's execution, and of Aizen's betrayal, of her blindness, of the arrancar wars, and of the final battle. And lastly, she told of Toushirou's 'awakening' and his now comatose state.

Her granny sat and listened without interruption, and Momo was grateful. Her hands shook on the teacup, and she feared that she'd spill tea on herself.

"He saved us all, but now…he essentially sacrificed himself for us. They don't know whether he'll make it or not…" Momo said shakily. Tears stung hereyes and sadness rose in a lump in her throat. "Why…why does it have to be like this?" she demanded, not really asking her granny. " He saved us…saved me, more than once, he saved me when I was about to die. This isn't right…" A tear fell into her hand, and that one drop unleashed the built up water behind the damn. She gave into her feelings, and began to sob uncontrolled as she gave in to her feelings. Grief rose up inside her like hot water. "Why does he always have to protect me? I hurt him…I hurt him beyond redemption, and yet…"

She felt a gentle hand on her head, stroking her hair softly, and she instinctively threw herself into her grandmother's arms, her tears falling like rain. Yet somehow, she felt relieved. She had finally told someone every single fear inside of her. She had finally completely thrown down all the walls hiding her feelings. She realized how good it felt to finally share her pain with someone else.

"There, there," her granny said, continuing to stroke her hair. "Toushirou will be fine. He's strong and stubborn. He'll live."

"But…but what if he hates me? I've caused him so much pain. What if he never forgave me, and was just hiding his anger?"

"No Momo," her granny said, gently, but firmly. "Toushirou is a very compassionate person, even if he acts as if he is not. Did you know that he could have entered the academy long before he actually did? He was aware of his powers. I could tell, because he had strange dreams, and the air grows heavy when he does. But he didn't want to leave me alone, even though I said that I didn't mind." She smiled as Momo stopped crying and looked up at her, shocked. How could she not have noticed?

"He did leave later, but not completely for himself. His power was too strong, affecting those around him. He wanted to protect his poor old granny still. And I think he wanted to make sure you were okay, and happy as well. Of course, I'm sure he was also very curious about himself, but he did leave mostly to protect others. He has always put the feelings of those he cares about before his own. He also always understood perfectly every situation. He will not judge so quickly. He knows the truth. I'm sure that he is compassionate enough to forgive you."

Momo listened to her granny's soothing words in surprise. She had no idea how Toushirou had fared back then after she'd left. It struck her again how much she didn't know about him. But at least she now knew why he had become a shinigami, or partly.

She sniffed a few more times, and wiped her eyes on her robe. Her granny's words had helped, but she still couldn't completely shake off her fears. Still, she said gratefully, "Thank you, baa-san, for comforting me."

Her granny smiled. "That's my job, Momo. I am your grandmother, and so I am here to help."

"Yes. I think I…understand him just a bit more now…" Momo looked outside and the bright sunlight. It was almost winter now. Toushirou's favourite season. How she longed to be able to spend it with Toushirou, and all her friends. Maybe they could watch fireworks on the roof again on his birthday, only this time, Aizen won't be involved. If only he will forgive her.

Her granny looked at her carefully. She was quiet as Momo whispered to herself, "If only we can be together always, Shirou-chan…"

"Momo," she interrupted, her face serious. "I want to ask you something. You don't have to answer out loud, but I want you to think about it carefully, and be honest with yourself. How do you truly feel about Toushirou? Deep down inside, what are your true feelings?"

Momo looked up in surprise. "He's my little brother," she said instantly. But then she paused. Why did she feel like she was lying?

Oh, because you are, came an amused voice. Momo realized in shock that in was Tobiume. Her zanpakutou hadn't spoken at all that day, except to tell her dully that Hyourinmaru has been unnaturally silent lately, and she hasn't been able to contact him. Now her zanpakutou almost seemed smug.

"Really, Momo? Did you think on it carefully as I said?" her granny was smiling, an odd twinkle in her eyes that almost seemed to match Tobiume's smugness.

"I…" Momo quieted. She thought again carefully, thinking about Toushirou. She had always seen him on the surface as a little brother who was always looking out for her, and she needed to protect. That was what he was, right? But as she delved deeper into her feelings, touching places of her heart that she never came to before, a new, foreign feeling suddenly spread throughout her; a fierce desire to protect, but different than that of a sister and brother. It was something so much more powerful, and completely new. Along with it came a strange burning desire and longing to be at his side.

She tried desperately to suppress the foreign feelings. They scared her. She had never felt this way before. At least, not this strongly. But it was to no avail. She kept thinking of him, his silky silver locks, and beautiful turquoise eyes, eyes that were deep and filled with wisdom and carefully guarded emotion. Only when one looked deep enough can one see the fierce fire and emotion in them.

She couldn't help but remember the terrible pain that she'd felt on the battlefield, when she had been sure that he had died. It had been like loosing Aizen the first time, only a thousand times stronger. And when he'd reappeared again, and was battling again, how it had renewed her strength just to see him. She thought of the feeling when he had fallen. It was like her world was falling with him. She longed to stay by his side, for him to accept her. Perhaps that was why she was so concerned with his forgiveness. She wouldn't be able to bear it if she couldn't be close to him.

Deep in her heart, she knew how she really felt. She knew the truth, and was afraid of it. She was afraid of being hurt, and so she had tried to deny her feelings.

You can't deny your heart, Momo. And you can't pretend to me. I am you, and I know all of your feelings, Tobiume had stopped sounding so smug. It's time you stopped running from everything.

"I…"she began again, thinking over her grandmother's words, and Tobiume's words. She knew exactly what her true feelings were.

"Only when you can be true to yourself, and understand your own feelings, can you begin to understand Toushirou's. Only then can you get the answers you seek." Her granny smiled. She had perceived, just from the various stories that she'd heard from Momo and Toushirou what the two were feeling. She thought that it was time to lend a hand.

Putting a hand on Momo's head again, she said softly, "You are both my beloved grandchildren, even if we weren't related by blood. I want you both to be happy. So follow your heart, Momo. Be strong for Toushirou. He will need it. And never forget your bonds."

Momo felt tears in her eyes again, but they were not from grief this time. Instead, they were tears of gratitude.

"Thank you, baa-san, for everything…" Momo whispered softly. And thank you, Tobiume.

Stare…I can't believe I just wrote that…

If it was weird, than I am so sorry. There was supposed to be more…but…I think I'll leave it at that. No cliffhanger this time. Sorry if it was short. Boring, wasn't it? I enjoyed doing the fourth division members though.

By the way, can you all do me a favor? If you haven't already, go to my profile and vote on what you think should happen to Ulquiorra and Nel. I need more opinions! Thanks for reading!