Utsukushii Higeki Chapter 3: Kokoro Kara no Messeji, a code geass fanfic

Repeat Warning:

If you don't like Suzalulu, turn back now. This IS rated M for a reason. This specific chapter isn't M, but I have promised major M and I don't break promises. Also, it will probably suck more than a teenage whore (no offense anyone…). This is one of your (many) warnings. If your eyes start bleeding, you go blind, or you end up mentally retarded, please don't blame it on me, for I have warned you; I probably don't have the money to pay for your medical bills anyways.

Oh yeah, and I don't own Code Geass. I wish I did, but sadly enough, I don't.

Note: the POV changes several times in this chapter, especially towards the end it changes a lot, so bear with it….I like to do that.

Utsukushii Higeki; Chapter three

Kokoro kara no Shisha

Lelouch sighed. Again. Ever since the re-appearance, of that green haired girl, no, that witch, his life became much more stressed. C.C., she called herself, not even a real name. She was much more of an annoyance than she appeared to be, wandering around the school as she pleased and she happened to have an unhealthy addiction to pizza. And with her hanging around, he hardly had time to think. She was always playing mind games with him…which usually he would be good at if she wasn't just so….well, annoying. Not to mention he had so many other more important things to think about. He had to make plans as Zero, had to concentrate on the rebellion, Suzaku, and Cornelia had just arrived in Japan too. He just didn't have time for her to be hanging around.

Suzaku….they were just friends, right? That was it. They were both guys, also. But somehow…no, it was just a kiss from a friend. Somehow something had seemed different though. He couldn't possibly…like Suzaku. Not in that way. He was his best friend…yet whenever he thought back to that kiss, however small it might have been, he couldn't help but get embarrassed.

It was even more difficult to pretend not to know him at school. Whenever Suzaku would walk past, Lelouch felt horrible. They shouldn't have to pretend not to know each other, just because Suzaku was an Eleven. While it was true that Lelouch and Nunnally's lineage could be exposed, it wasn't very likely. And Suzaku was being bullied. He had no friends and it would be difficult to make them at such a school. Ashford was a school for Britannians, and a very high-class school at that. There would be no way an Eleven, a Japanese, could be accepted.

"These things…take time," Lelouch tried to reassure Nunnally.

"Can't you do anything? He's your friend, isn't he?" Yes, he was…but these things…things were different now. Lelouch looked down as he thought to himself, but was soon interrupted by the sound of…paws? He looked up to see a cat…wearing his mask? He jumped up, startling Nunnally, as the cat ran off.

"Hey! Give that back!" He ran after the cat, leaving Nunnally behind to sort out the situation. He would not be unmasked by a damn cat! He clumsily fell out the window and spotted the cat and headed after it. He couldn't use the terrorists. He couldn't use Kallen. Damn it! If only he were more athletic, then—

Falling into a bush, Lelouch cursed the cat again as it ran past him. He followed it into the school and even had to Geass two girls. This was just more trouble than he needed at the moment.

"This is Milly Ashford from the student council. The cat! We are in pursuit of a fleeing cat! All club activities are suspended. All participating clubs will receive additional funds, and whoever catches the cat will get an extra-special chance at a kiss from the student council member of their choice!"

Fuck. Now he was truly and royally fucked. Not only did he have to catch the cat, but now he had to keep the rest of the school from it. As if he wasn't having enough difficulty before, Milly just had to make things worse now!

"And when you do find it, hand over what it stole to me! Me! Me! Me!"

"You've really done it now, President!"

After successfully managing to lose the cat he finally managed to spot it again. Running towards the entry of the building, he ran into a familiar face.

"Suzaku?"

"Lelouch! You're after the cat, too?" They both looked up as meows echoed down the staircase, "Up above?"

"Wait, Suzaku! You stay here!" Lelouch ran up the stairs after Suzaku, but he knew it was already a lost race. Suzaku had always been more athletic than him.

"But the student council president said to catch it!"

"It's ok, so just leave! I'll take care of the cat!"

"I'm the better athlete! This is like when that bird got loose."

"Don't bring up the past!"

"It was only seven years ago!" Suzaku was way ahead of him by now.

"Damn it! That…stupid jock!"

"Hey, do you two know each other?" Kallen asked, curiously.

"But he's an Eleven…" Nina brought on an uncomfortable silence to the group.

"No, I…" Suzaku started to cover up, but Lelouch couldn't let this go on.

"We're friends," He stepped forward before the sentence could be finished. Suzaku looked at him, surprised, "President, would you mind allowing him into the student council? In our school, you have to belong to some kind of club, but…" Everyone looked to Milly, who gave a resigned sigh.

"I suppose I don't have a choice, since it's a request from the vice-president."

Lelouch smiled at Suzaku, who looked slightly confused at the sudden turn of events.

'Now Suzaku should be left alone…'

He felt inexplicably satisfied.

For the next few weeks, everything was pretty normal. That is, if dealing with terrorists while balancing skipping class is normal….well, there was also the matter of Suzaku, but he tried not to bring that up. He still couldn't be bothered to go to class all the time, but he went a few times because of Suzaku. Besides, it was nice to be with Suzaku again, he had to admit. Even if it was a little strange at times. Suzaku still had army work, but he said he'd been transferred to a different unit so he wasn't in danger. Lelouch really had no idea why he was still so worried about that. Besides, he had bigger things to worry about.

With Cornelia as the new governor, Zero would be the number one priority. Sure enough, she moved within a relatively short amount of time. The army moved to surround the Saitama ghetto, a plain trap to lure him out. They even made sure the time was announced. The situation was clearly meant to mimic the time in Shinjuku. He would have no choice but to go after Cornelia.

"You're going to take the bait?"

"They've taken the trouble to invite me, after all. There's also a great deal I'd like to ask Cornelia."

"Which do you think is more important, destroying the Britannian empire or finding your mother's murderer?"

"Those two are the same thing. The royal family fights within itself in order to find out which successor is right for the throne. No, that man makes them fight."

He wouldn't abandon Nunnally just because she was considered weak. He wouldn't allow the weak to be thrown away and for only the strong to ascend to the top! Britannia was a cruel, selfish country…that was what he was fighting to destroy. He would never toss aside the weak just to care for the strong.

"I will destroy that world for—" As he stood up, he was faced with C.C. She was standing in his way, holding a gun.

"Don't go, Lelouch. I can't have you dying before you fulfill our contract."

"Don't you think what you're doing is rather counter-productive?" He said with a smirk.

"I won't kill you. I'll just shoot you in the leg so that you can't go anywhere."

"I see. You can't use the Geass, can you?" He pulled out his own gun.

"Do you think I fear guns?" Her monotone voice had a slight air of haughtiness.

"Of course you do," He pointed the gun to himself. Of course he would win. He had a reason to. And before his wish, as well as whatever this girl wanted, was fulfilled he wouldn't die. Not before he destroyed that man and his wretched ways. He would protect everyone…he had no other choice but to win. It was what he promised, wasn't it? Those seven years ago, to Suzaku.

He gained a Knightmare in the same way he had in Shinjuku, and contacted the terrorist group occupying this ghetto.

"Obey me and you will live."

He used the same plan as in Shinjuku; take the enemy Knightmares and turn Britannia's force against itself. As he continued to give out orders, something seemed wrong. It almost seemed too easy; after all, this was Cornelia. She was much better than Clovis, much smarter; certainly she would have something up her sleeve.

"All units withdraw immediately to the ghetto's entrance."

He could now be right next to Cornelia, without her even knowing he had to do was make an entrance for himself. Really, how could she be so stupid? He was quite disappointed, in Cornelia of all people. He'd expected much more of a struggle from her…

After failing miserably in Saitama, Lelouch knew now that he had to be more careful. Cornelia had indeed had something up her sleeve, and he had almost been caught. Letting himself be disappointed in such weakness from Cornelia had indeed led to his (almost) downfall. In that situation he could have been discovered as either Zero or for his lineage, and probably both. If it hadn't been for C.C. …he hated to admit that she had saved him, but it was the truth. Now he truly owed something to her.

'Maybe the pizza will be enough…'

Indeed, she had quite an appetite for pizza. It wasn't like he minded anyways. It shut her up most of the time and kept her from wandering too often. It was almost like having a pet to take care of…in a way; an annoying green-haired witch of a pet, at least.

Now that he had decided to stick with the original group of terrorists he had found a hideout and decided on a name. It seemed kind of silly, these kinds of things, but they were necessary. After all, if they let the public name them it would be something stupid and they had to make themselves known within the other organizations also. The hotel jacking had gone quite well…the hostages had all been saved. He wondered if he had rescued the hostages simply to advance his plans for the destruction of Britannia, or because the members of the student council had been involved. He wondered about which he cared for more. Before his encounter with Geass, he had completely given up on his plans for tearing down the empire. He had been powerless, only destined to be found and used as a political tool once again. Now that he had power, which mattered more to him? Would he have to forget about his friends to be successful in his goals? Or would he have to forget his goals to keep his friends? Would he have to sacrifice either?

Lying in bed, Lelouch found it quite hard to sleep despite the apparent lack he'd had lately. The whole 'destroy an empire than encompasses one-third of the world's population' never sounded like an easy thing, and it was certainly taking its toll on him. It was actually getting a little annoying. His schedule was filled; if he didn't have a student council or Black Knights meeting, there was always something to do. Before rushing into battle, he wanted to consider carefully what should be done. He wanted to know exactly where this was going and where he wanted it to go before anything too drastic happened. Lelouch already felt like things were beginning to slip out of his hands. Maybe this, everything happening at once, was a bit too much for even him to handle. He thought he'd been prepared, but now that his world was shaken up he couldn't seem to be sure of anything anymore.

His thoughts kept him awake for most of the night, which he was very disappointed about because he had hoped to catch up on some much missed sleep. He could always sleep during class, but even so that wasn't very restful or comfortable at all. With hardly any relaxation time anymore he was starting to feel overwhelmed. Not good. The only thing that really bothered him was that most of his thoughts involved Suzaku. Why the hell should he lose so much sleep due to something so stupid? He silently promised himself some rest time later today as he dragged his still-exhausted body out of bed. His legs felt like they were about to give in, and his arms were heavy. Lelouch knew he couldn't look much better, and a look in the mirror confirmed that. He would just have to go to class anyways. After all it's not like he had anybody to impress.

That's what he thought anyways. But when he got to class, Suzaku happened to be there already. He knew that he'd been thinking far too much about his friend to face him normally. The worst part was that he didn't even know why he couldn't let Suzaku out of his thoughts. He wanted to; having as many burdens on his mind as he did right now Lelouch would be willing to get rid of any troubles that he could. So, sighing, he acted normal as best he could and hoped his mind would get the hint.

"You look horrible," Suzaku noticed as Lelouch ignored him and sat down, "Did you have trouble sleeping?"

"No, I'm fine…I guess I'm just a little tired."

"No, really—did something happen?"

"Suzaku, it's fine. I just stayed up a little late, that's all."

After that, Suzaku let him go. He probably had sounded a little snippy, but he really didn't feel like talking about things like that. He didn't feel like talking at all right now. With everything that was going on he was neglecting relationships a little, but he didn't have time for them. Perhaps that was having an effect on his desire to have relationships too. He knew he was thinking too much right now when his head started aching.

'Great, now I have a headache too…'

He could already tell it was just going to be a great day.

His efforts to sleep during class had, of course, failed. This was partially due to his headache, which was still causing him unneccessary grief, and partially due to Suzaku not letting him fall asleep, both annoyed him to hell. After all, it was Suzaku's fault that he was losing sleep to begin with. Okay…not entirely. It was also his own fault for the overly-busy schedule. Not allowing himself to take off nights was starting to get to him, but it was necessary. He wondered how Kallen was doing, her being on pretty much the same schedule and all.

"Hey, Lelouch!" Suzaku's voice rang through his ears, echoing in his mind and altogether just causing his head to hurt more. He groaned slightly before turning to face his friend.

"Hey…" Suzaku cocked his head to the side, slightly.

"You still look tired."

"If you'd let me sleep then I wouldn't be…"

"You can't sleep during class, Lelouch! Your grades will drop if you do that."

"No they won't."

"They will!"

"They won't."

Suzaku sighed, resigning. He knew not to push Lelouch too far, especially when he was tired. After so many girls slaps anyone would learn when to just shut up. The remembrance of such incidents made him laugh inside, and although he didn't like the way Lelouch skipped school and slept all the time, he knew that there was really nothing he could do about it.

"Are you ready for the History test tomorrow?"

"Test?"

"The test that's been announced every day for the past two weeks. If you had been awake you might have heard about it."

"Oh," Lelouch shrugged uncaringly. He stood up and groaned when another painful pang pierced through his thoughts. Using the desk to steady himself as he became slightly dizzy, he dimly remembered forgetting to eat…for the past two days. Crap. He'd just been so caught up in work that it had apparently slipped his mind. Not the best thing for him right now.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Suzaku also stood up, "You look…sick."

"I'm fine—I'll—I'll be fine," The words didn't come out as confidently as they should have, but he didn't have time for that right now. "I just, I have to go. I'll…see you…"

He wanted to escape to his room and sleep. Right now the hallways, despite classes having ended already, were still slightly full. Being in a room full of people, or technically a hallways, is not the best choice when you're feeling unwell. He swore if anyone stopped him right now they'd get a well-deserved and probably overdue punch. Saying that, it should also be said that the only two people who would stop him when he was obviously not feeling like being stopped would be Milly and Suzaku, both of whom deserved quite a hard punch at that. Although he doubted he could even muster up the strength to deliver their punishments at the moment; he was beginning to feel faint.

Why does every single symptom of bad personal care show up at the same time?

He had to rest against the wall. The only good thing was that the hallways were clearing up, leaving him in a more isolated place. Which was, at the moment, exactly where he wanted to be. Moving but keeping the wall close at hand, he wished that teleportation was an option. It wasn't, but maybe if you willed to be in your bed strongly and often enough it could count for something.

Lelouch could feel himself starting to collapse. He didn't think he was really that tired. Of course, with the combined symptoms he was experiencing…he felt tired. Extremely tired. His legs ached, over exhausted even though he'd only walked a short distance. He felt heavy, and he just wanted to sleep. He didn't feel like walking anymore. Heck, he would even settle for the uncomfortable, dirty school floor at the moment. As his legs started to give out he involuntarily started sliding down the wall, and began falling. Fainting. But before slipping into the darkness of a dreamless land, he heard footsteps. Running. He thought he heard the familiar ring of Suzaku's voice. And he felt himself be caught by strong, sturdy arms.

Lelouch awoke in the very place he had willed himself earlier.

'Perhaps the gods really did grant my wish….' He thought lazily as he sat up. He still felt a little sick. But he couldn't be too sick, because he also felt extremely hungry.

"Oh, you're awake! That's good." Lelouch hadn't even heard the door open, but suddenly Suzaku was in the room. Or perhaps he'd been in there from the start…he wasn't quite sure at the moment.

"I suppose. What…" Lelouch rubbed his slightly achy head, "What happened?"

"I don't exactly know, but I was coming out of the classroom and you fainted. I thought about calling a doctor but it didn't seem that serious so—"

Suzaku was interrupted by the growling of someone's stomach, undoubtedly Lelouch's. The latter blushed, "Um…"

The green-eyed boy just chuckled, "I suppose it's a good thing you're hungry then. I hardly ever see you eat anymore! I'll make something for you."

"Are you sure it's okay? I can make something myself…" Suzaku put a hand out, stopping him from getting out of the bed.

"No. You," Suzaku pointed at Lelouch, "are sick. Sick people stay in bed. Besides, I can make enough…I know what you like anyways. Just stay there. And rest." The door closed behind him, leaving Lelouch alone in his room. He debated abiding by his friend's request, or getting out of bed anyways. He felt fine enough, just hungry with a slight headache. At first he decided to just sit there in bed but after a few minutes he felt restless. Seeing that he was in his pajamas, Lelouch felt slightly embarrassed at the thought of Suzaku changing him. They were friends, sure, but Lelouch was a very private person. He didn't like to change in front of anyone, which was one of the reasons why avoiding P.E. was so much better. At the moment he didn't really feel like changing either, so he just went out into the kitchen in his pajamas.

Suzaku was busy looking for something, which obviously turned out to be plates. Lelouch walked over, intruding, and opened the right cabinet, taking out two plates and handing them to Suzaku. His friend gave him a disapproving look.

"You're supposed to be in bed." Lelouch shrugged.

"I got bored, and I'm not sick anymore. Not anything I'll die from, at least. I'm just hungry, and if you'd spent any more time looking for plates I might have died from that."

"I'd have found them….eventually. You should still rest. You did faint after all, in the middle of the hallway at that."

"That's…I'm fine. I got plenty of rest." Suzaku raised his eyebrow, suspiciously.

"I don't know whether to believe you or not anymore. I think in Lelouch language 'I'm fine' means 'I'm totally not fine. At all.'"

Lelouch just sighed. "Are we going to eat or not?"

Lelouch had caught Suzaku looking at him strangely quite a few times. Perhaps he was just worried—like he'd said, Lelouch had passed out in the middle of the hallway. But it was starting to bother him. Suzaku had also been constantly checking up on him, and gave him almost no time to be alone. Which meant it was twice as difficult to get away from the school.

The school bell rang, and Lelouch, who had actually gone to class that day, quickly left the room. Today he hoped to get away to the Black Knights. It had been long enough since he went there, perhaps even too long. He had just got out of the school building when he stopped.

"Suzaku!" It was really, really starting to annoy him.

"Ah, sorry…." He turned to face Suzaku, sighing.

"You don't need to follow me everywhere, you know. I'm fine, really." Suzaku gave him a doubtful look, earning another sigh from Lelouch.

"I'm just worried about you. You've seemed….different lately."

"Different?"

"Yeah…I've heard it from everybody. You've been disappearing a lot more, and you haven't been hanging out with the student council as much as you used to…." Lelouch folded his arms over his chest.

"I'm just busy, that's all."

"Busy with what?"

"Just…..stuff."

"Stuff that's more important than your friends?"

"Why does it matter so much?"

"Because I'm your friend. And I'm worried about you." It was really pointless to argue over this, and Lelouch was starting to get annoyed.

"I guess…sorry for worrying you. I have been busy…but I'll be at the next student council meeting. Okay?"

"Can I take your word on that?"

"Alright, I promise." Suzaku still looked skeptical, but he let him go.

At the next student council meeting, Lelouch was absent.

Suzaku should have known better than to believe Lelouch would actually show up. He hadn't shown up to most of the other student council meetings, and he hardly showed up for class anymore. But he promised. That was what really irritated Suzaku the most. He hadn't fully believed Lelouch when he'd promised to show up, it was Lelouch after all, but he'd wanted to believe him. Suzaku had even made sure to attend the meeting, and seeing as he was always busy due to his position in the military that was a very difficult thing to do. What could Lelouch be so busy with that he would break a promise with his best friend?

That day in Shinjuku, Suzaku had been happy, really happy, to see Lelouch safe after seven years, even more so when they met again at school. But this Lelouch was far more different, and far more complicated than the ten-year-old boy Suzaku had befriended. He hardly knew anything about Lelouch anymore, even though they were supposed to be best friends. Well, he still knew Lelouch's nature, and what made him tick, but if asked about his hobbies, or what he does in his time, someone may as well have been asking about a stranger.

After the meeting was over Suzaku decided to see Nunnally. Perhaps she knew where Lelouch had been off to lately.

"…but Sayoko-san said that maybe he has a girlfriend…" Suzaku caught the last of Nunnally's sentence after zoning out for a moment. Certainly he hadn't thought of something like that. No, he couldn't even imagine the thought of Lelouch with a girlfriend…it would be almost funny if he did. It turned out that all Nunnally knew was that Lelouch had been out a lot lately instead of at home with her, which was not any more than Suzaku knew. Nunnally also looked very worried, probably more so than Suzaku, about Lelouch.

"Don't worry Nunnally. I'm sure he's okay." He didn't touch her; he didn't want her to feel his lie, or his own worry. He wanted Nunnally to feel safe and reassured. It was the least he could do for her. Damn it, Lelouch.

Suzaku was really starting to get frustrated with his friend. Whenever Lelouch said he was fine, Suzaku didn't know whether to trust him or not. It was getting late, the sky darkening to a smog-covered hazy blue, the moon clouded out by thickening rain clouds. And Lelouch was still out.

"Nunnally, you shouldn't wait up for Lelouch. It's getting late, and he might not be home for quite a while," Suzaku suggested to the handicapped girl, who took on a disappointed look. He couldn't blame her either. She probably saw Lelouch even less than Suzaku did on a regular day, but now Lelouch was out all the time. Nunnally waited for a few more minutes, and then called Sayoko to help her into bed. Taking the black uniform jacket off, Suzaku sat alone and waited; it was all he could do. He didn't know how much time passed; he didn't check his phone. It was dark and he knew that it was getting really late, but whenever he thought of checking the time he felt too lazy to do it. Somehow, though, he could feel the hours going by. It was probably just his imagination and was created through boredom, but he swore he could feel every tick of time that was passing.

The door suddenly opened, sending a bolt of shock through his system. He jumped out of surprise at the sudden intrusion, leaving him feeling shaky, off guard, and nervous. He looked towards the invasion and saw that it was Lelouch, finally back and carrying a large black bag over his shoulder. Suzaku quickly checked the time, surprised that it was almost two in the morning.

I really sat there for that whole time? Did I fall asleep or something…?

Dismissing those thoughts, he saw his friend looking at him oddly.

"Suzaku…what are you doing here?" Lelouch stood uncomfortably in the doorway, watching his friend. Suzaku could feel his back and neck starting to ache from the rigid chair, which reminded himself of why he was there.

"Waiting for you." He answered shortly.

"At this time?"

"More importantly, why are you coming home at this time?"

"Oh….that's….." Lelouch started, but never finished. There was a silence between the two, an irregular and solemn pause. The lights in the room were dim and only seemed to add to the situation.

"Lelouch….I just don't know who you are anymore," Suzaku said in a small, almost dismal-sounding voice. It didn't sound like himself; his own voice was usually cheerful and positive. Lelouch's eyes widened at the words; Suzaku might not have been the most observant person but he could see hurt and more than that, regret.

Lelouch felt horrible standing there before Suzaku. He'd come home late, later than usual and it just happened to be the time Suzaku was there waiting for him. Of course, it was also the day of the 'next' student council meeting that he had promised to attend. He sucked in his breath, guilty. It's not like he'd forgotten that today was that day…he'd purposefully missed the meeting. He hadn't missed it because he didn't want to be with his friends or anything; it was just that he had more important things to do….things that he couldn't tell Suzaku. He was extremely busy lately due to the Black Knights, and his close friends were starting to take notice of his frequent disappearances, especially Suzaku. Damn it…if I'd known Suzaku would be going to the same school as me before I started this whole mess…

It wasn't as if Lelouch was ungrateful that his best friend from childhood was now attending the same school as him, it was just that he got in the way of Lelouch's greater plans most of the time. It didn't help that Suzaku was in the army…if he found out that Lelouch was Zero…and by the looks of things, Suzaku was starting to get suspicious of him. Maybe not that he was Zero or anything like that, but he was certainly on Lelouch's back about a lot of things lately.

"Lelouch….I just don't know who you are anymore," Suzaku said in a small, almost dismal-sounding voice. Lelouch looked at him, slightly off-guard. Suzaku now had his gaze fixed on the floor, apparently unable to look at Lelouch, who hadn't expected something so open and honest. The obviousness of their separation had made itself shown but had grown even more through their time together. It had been seven years and both of them were different than they had been back then. But when those words hit him, he knew that it had been mostly his fault. Not for the war, not for their separation, or their differences….but for not being able to reconnect. He'd been busy with his own plans, and hadn't paid attention to his friends even though he should have. It sounded weird, he knew it, that he was planning a huge rebellion and was worrying about something little like friends. But they really weren't a little thing in his life, were they? He couldn't very well just choose one life or another….it was the problem of having a double life.

Lelouch was starting to feel the guilt of the past few weeks. He knew Suzaku was only worried about him, and yet Lelouch had just swatted him away, even labeled him as annoying. He had thought about him, of course, but those thoughts had also been labeled as something annoying and in the way. He stood in the doorway, unable to move while Suzaku stood across the room from him. It seemed that they were just so far apart…it felt further apart than it really was and the space in between them hung damp with unsaid words and unexpressed feelings. During the start of those seven years, Lelouch had worried about Suzaku's well-being almost as much as Nunnally, but over the years he had become used to assuming Suzaku was probably fine like he always told Nunnally. He had been fine. He was standing right in front of Lelouch now, over those seven years. He had been the one that wasn't fine, Lelouch realized. He also realized now more than ever that he had missed Suzaku, that he was really happy to see him again.

Before he knew what he was doing, Lelouch felt the bag formerly gracing his shoulder drop to the floor and crossed the room to wrap his arms around Suzaku, who gave a slightly confused gasp and stiffened. Resting his head on the chocolate-haired boy's shoulder, Lelouch tightened his embrace.

Suzaku heard a slight thud, the bag hitting the floor. Before Suzaku knew what happened, he felt thin arms wrap around him. He gasped slightly, confused at the sudden touch. After a moment the arms tightened, Lelouch's warm body pressed against his own, his soft breath tickled Suzaku's exposed neck.

"I'm—I'm sorry." The soldier heard the strain in his friend's voice, felt the fingers that grabbed the fabric of his shirt. It was so unrealistic, so unlike Lelouch that it couldn't be real.

"Don't….say something like that. It's not your fault." Suzaku wrapped returned the embrace of his raven-haired friend, knowing that what he said was partially a lie. He stroked Lelouch's back in an attempt to reassure him. "It was my fault too." He pulled away from his friend slightly to look at him, but Lelouch kept his face hidden.

"No…no, you know that's not—" Suzaku took one of his arms away from Lelouch's body, sliding the other one down to the small waist, and used it to raise his face, planting his lips firmly to the soft lips of his friend.

Lelouch was fairly shocked when he felt Suzaku's lips on his own. He hadn't—well, of course he'd thought of that—but, he hadn't really thought….

He loved Lelouch. It was strange, that Suzaku had realized it only when his friend had begun to slip away, perhaps he only realized it in full truth right in that moment. It was strange, the way he hadn't even realized it during the seven years they were apart. He knew something was different now that they were older, of course something would be different, they were older. It had been seven years, and they were bound to change. But inside, the more he talked to Lelouch he saw remnants of the boy he used to know.

The kiss ended, and Lelouch was surprised that he felt slightly disappointed at its conclusion. He was taken aback, and confused. Yeah, extremely confused. He couldn't say anything, and even if he could he didn't know exactly what he would say. So he just stared into those friendly green eyes he knew so well, searching for an answer, for some kind of hint. Suzaku just smiled at him, nervously.

"I'll give you time to think."

Well then….it's excuse time! I made this chapter the longest one yet to make up for the long wait, so I hope it was worth it. I sincerely apologize for the wait, but there are several reasons for this. The first is that all the notes and plans I had for the story were lost when my computer crashed. Also because my computer crashed I wasn't able to work on anything for about a month or more. I also had to move all the way across the country, and I've been busy lately because my family out here forces me to go out and do "fun" stuff. I have also lost my initial 'spark of inspiration' for this story, but I will however continue and try to finish this story.

Review if you laugh while imagining Lelouch giving a nice, girly slap to Suzaku.