Can't Wait (Chapter 4)
Around 4 a.m., Zane woke with a pressing need to go to the bathroom. Rolling toward the edge of what he thought was his bed, he crashed to the floor and yelped in pain. When he tried to stand, he became tangled in the blanket and nearly fell again. Cursing, he bounced off the edge of the coffee table and staggered a few steps before finally freeing himself. He spun around, disoriented—what the hell was he doing in his living room?
His confusion only deepened when someone bolted from his bedroom. On guard immediately, he swung at the moving figure. Fortunately, his balance had gone missing when the sleeping pill hit his system, and he missed by a wide margin. The figure, however, wasn't similarly impaired and shouldered him in the gut, taking them both to the floor. As Zane was struggling against the weight pinning him down, it registered that the pose felt oddly familiar. Just then, Jo caught her breath and yelled "Zane!" directly into his ear.
"Shit," he howled, clapping a hand over the now ringing ear. "Jo? What are you doing here?"
"I was sleeping until you started crashing around out here. What happened?" she asked.
"I needed to hit the can. Except I'm in my living room…I fell asleep on the couch?" Still confused and fighting sleep, Zane sounded a bit like a tired toddler. Jo bit back a smile. "Yes, you were asleep when I got here." Zane nodded and was quiet for a moment. "You were sleeping in my bed…" Now Jo did smile. Zane had unwittingly taken his toddler impersonation up a notch with the nursery rhyme reference. "Did we…?" Jo shook her head. "No. I wanted to talk to you before you left for work, so I just camped out in your room while you slept."
Shifting, it suddenly registered with Jo that, while Zane might sound like a toddler, he was definitely all grown up. She rolled off of him quickly, before his physical reaction to her cleared his mental fog. Reaching out a hand, she helped pull him to his feet. "Bathroom's that way," she said, pointing him down the hall. "My house," he mumbled sulkily as she gave him a push in the right direction. She waited until he made it down the hall, then returned to bed. If he didn't come out of the bathroom soon, she'd check to make sure he hadn't hurt himself or fallen asleep there.
Closing her eyes, Jo was drifting into sleep when Zane flopped on the bed beside her. She stiffened—maybe he'd been more awake than she'd thought. Sex would only complicate the discussion that awaited them in the morning, but Jo didn't have much faith in her willpower against any advances he might make. She squeaked when his arm snaked out around her, frantically thinking of how she'd talk him—and herself—out of doing what came so naturally to them.
Until he snored. She nearly laughed with relief, notwithstanding the tiniest twinge of regret. Curling into his side, she listened to Zane's even breathing until she was asleep too.
Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka
Zane stirred awake several hours later. He was alone, but had a distinct memory of Jo sleeping next to him. With sharp disappointment, he decided that had either been a memory from another night or a dream.
Closing his eyes, he was debating going back to sleep when the smell of coffee reached him. Since it was unlikely that anyone would break in to help themselves to his Vincepresso beans, Zane was more curious than alarmed. He got up and walked quietly down the hall.
The sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks. Jo was at the refrigerator, wearing a rolled up pair of his sweatpants and a monstrously oversized T shirt. He blinked, wondering briefly if he was still asleep, until she turned. "Hi. You're awake," she said. "Yeah. And you're here…why?"
"You don't remember last night?" she asked, lips twitching when his jaw dropped. How on earth had they gotten from the scene with Allison at GD to Jo standing in his kitchen, having clearly spent the night? "Um…." He stopped, unable to decide which answer would get him in the least trouble. This was unexplored territory for Zane-never in his life had he been unable to remember what he'd done, or with who. The idea that he'd lost a night with Jo, when he'd doubted having one again, was particularly disturbing.
Taking pity on him, Jo smiled. "I came by to talk last night and you were asleep. The pills Allison gave you really knocked you out. It was late, and I wanted to see you before you got to GD, so I stayed over." Zane didn't know whether to be relieved or put out at her explanation. Even if he couldn't remember the night, it'd have been nice to know he'd shared another one with Jo before leaving for Titan. Then again, that also meant he hadn't forgotten her forgiving him for what he'd told Allison. Which reminded him…
"What I said to Allison yesterday, Jo. It wasn't true-" She held up a hand. "I know. You were writing a note," She pulled the folded paper from the pants pocket and handed it to him. "I wasn't sure if it was you or the pills writing. Anyway, I know you didn't mean it. It's…ok." Zane looked questioningly at her. "So we're good?" Jo nodded. "Yes, we're…um, fine."
"Fine." Zane frowned, then shrugged. "OK. So was that what you wanted to talk about?"
Jo shook her head and picked her cell phone up from the counter. Scrolling through the menu, she tapped a few keys until a message from Allison appeared on the screen. Wordlessly, she handed the phone to Zane. Looking puzzled, he read the message. For a few moments, he just stared at it, then looked impassively back at her.
"Jameson is out," he said. Jo nodded. "Broken leg," she confirmed. "And they're giving you a chance to take his place on the mission." She nodded again. "Yes. Crew members have been dropping like flies. There aren't any alternates left, so they've gone to the backup list of candidates who were qualified to go, but not selected for some reason."
"Why are you showing me this? I thought you didn't want to go," Zane said carefully.
"I didn't want to make the same mistake twice." Zane cocked an eyebrow—Jo admitting to a mistake was another new experience for him this morning. "When I decided I didn't need to go to Titan, I should…" She took a deep breath. "I should have talked to you. First. I know we haven't been…a couple, not really, but I see now that we can't get there if we don't act like couples do. Including," she sighed. "Checking with each other before making major decisions that could affect us both. I can't ask you to do that if you don't want to, but I should have…this time. I think. " Jo trailed off, annoyed at her stumbling words.
It was so ridiculously hard to talk to Zane about their relationship, whatever it was. It hadn' t been much easier in the other timeline, which may have been why his proposal had caught her so off guard. But they couldn't continue like this, if they continued at all. It was far too awkward.
"So…you're asking me if I think you should go?" Zane said slowly. She nodded, non-verbal communication seeming more reliable than trying to speak again. His eyes dropped to the phone. For a full minute, he said nothing, until Jo began to think this conversation had been a terrible idea. Maybe she could just grab her phone and go…she could probably make it to her car without anyone seeing her in Zane's clothes. And Carter would already be gone from SARAH for the day…
"I…you…" Zane's voice stopped her skittering thoughts. He cleared his throat and started again. "What you said you needed to figure out while I'm away…can figure it out if you're on Titan?" Jo was startled. Based on Zane's mopiness over her decision to not go to Titan, she'd expected him to insist that she take Allison's offer to join the mission now. She'd never imagined his first words being about what she needed rather than what he wanted.
"I don't know," she said softly. Still looking at the phone, he asked "Are we—me—part of what you need to think through?" "Yes," Jo said simply.
Zane nodded and fell back into silence. Uncomfortable without something to do, Jo poured out two cups of coffee. Handing one to Zane, she sat at his small kitchen table.
He slid her cell phone across to her. After turning his coffee cup in circles until it spilled, he spoke haltingly. "Did we ever…work together? Before?" Surprised, Jo shook her head. "You mean, at GD? No. Our paths crossed, usually when things went wrong there, but I was Carter's deputy then. Never had a reason to be at GD unless there was a problem." She smiled. "Sometimes the problem was you, but I wouldn't call that working together. More like working at odds."
Zane snorted. "Our specialty." Jo's smile faded. Seeing that, Zane leaned forward, tone intent. "What I mean is…you said we weren't really friends then. But we are now?" She nodded. "So, friends know about each other's lives, right? Maybe that's what we need-more information. About the parts of our lives in this timeline that take place outside of bed." He grinned. "Although we could always stand to generate more data-" Rolling her eyes, Jo held a hand up to stop that train of thought.
"Working together, 24/7 for six months. That would tell us a lot of we need to know about each other including..." He paused. "Whether we can be together. Whether we want to be together. Or not." Laughing dryly, he added, "Assuming, of course, that we don't kill each other first. And that the crew doesn't do it for us."
Jo was quiet, lost in thought. After a sip of coffee, she asked, voice flat, "You think being a billion miles from here, in close quarters with 18 other people, is going to be good for us?"
"Maybe. Or maybe it'll be really, really bad. One way or the other, we'll know. C'mon Jo, take the leap. Can you think of any tougher…challenge?"
She looked steadily at him for several moments, then picked up the cell phone. After pressing a few keys, she slid it back across to Zane. He read the reply she'd sent to Allison and blew out a sigh. As he stared at the screen, Jo stood and came around to him. When he looked up, a smile slowly spread across his face, matched by the one on Jo's. She turned down the hall, speaking back over her shoulder.
"I always hated gymnastics. If we're going to be stuck in space with tiny little beds and no privacy, I suggest we take full advantage of the facilities here while we can." Walking away, she pulled his T shirt over her head. "Coming?" Laughing, Zane followed. "If we survive? Best six months ever."
Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka
Later that morning, Jo walked out of the crew members' locker room looking decidedly green. She was wearing an Astraeus flight suit. Grace had given it to her, after a quick hug and a "welcome aboard." As she dressed, Jo's excitement had slowly given way to nerves. Seeing herself in astronaut garb was one of the truly bizarre moments of her life, which was saying something given where she lived.
As she walked up to Zane, she was shaking her head vehemently. "I can't do this—I don't know what I was thinking. Me, an astronaut? This is insane. I have no business being here. There's still time, I'm going to find Grace and-". Putting a hand over her mouth, Zane smiled down at her. "Shut up," he said. "You can do this. Just stop telling yourself you can't." She bit down on his hand, but he just laughed. Pushing her along toward the door into the Astraeus hangar, he softly mimicked the refrain from The Little Train Who Could. "You can do this. You can do this. You can do this."
When they got to the entrance, Jo moaned. "I can't. Really, Zane, just let me go…". She tried to pull away, but he spun her toward the door. "Time to cowboy up, Jo."
As she stood, looking into the busy hangar, she felt Zane take her hand. For a second, she closed her eyes, focusing on his warmth. When had the juvenile pain in her ass become someone she could lean on? Putting thoughts to action, she leaned back against him for a moment. Then, with a deep breath, she straightened. "Let's do this," she said, and they walked together toward the waiting ship.
A/N: I wanted to post this before the season 4.5 finale negates the storyline, as I'd guess Jo will be staying behind in Eureka. In the unlikely event that changes, I may continue the story on to Titan. Otherwise, this is where it ends, at least for now. Thanks for reading!