Sasayaki
Author's note
Ok I know I have some spelling errors but I'm in a crisis here!
TOO ALL ANONOMIS REVIEWERS WHO I'M REPYING TO!!!!!!!!!!
SailorEarth87
2007-07-30
ch 3, anon
Hey. I think your story is just too adorable for words. lol
I just want you to be aware that you have a large amount of spelling and grammatical errors. But if you want, I can fix them for you. I don't expect you to trust me so easily, but I am an excellent writer and I can help you. My e-mail is attatched to this review. E-mail me anytime if you would like some help.
Hope you update soon!
Who ever sent this Review, I need you to send me an E-mail directly becaus doesn't let people send E-mails through reviews or PMs. and I would like you to pleas help me if you can contact me! and I do trust people with my stories, I can be a very trusting person, bisides I read the chapter before I post it! besides why shouldn't I troust you? and doesn't it suck when keeps you from getting help from people accept PMs, Replies and revies?
Now that my cry for this nice person is out!
OH! Leena!
Here's some interesting facts, tell me if you knew them allready.
1 There are Three ways of spellng the our name.
A is Leena (your way)
B is Lena and
C. is Lina (My way)
2. Is our name means Light in Greek neet huh?
Greenseeker: Rini's parentige and her change of appearence Mmm her father was Diamond to begin with but no one knows Diamond is Rini's father, all they know is that Usagi is Rini's mother. and I think I'll change her eye color, red just creeps me out thanks for the idea!
Time to get on with the STORY!!!!!!
Chapter 4
Confetions
Part 1
Through the thunder and pouring rain and in the moments the lightning that lite up the gray sky, a white cat could be seen, jumping from roof top to roof top going in the direction of a small house where a family of three un-loading gorceries could be seen talking and worrying. The Tsukino family was unlaoding the food and caned vegetables. Their daughter had been at her friends for three days and they wondered if she would be able to make it through the rain. they didn't see the white cat streek up the stairs, they where too busy in the kitchen making supper and puting away the frouts and vebetebles.The door was left open for another trip to the car.
Usagi closed the door to her room as quietly as possible. the second she saw Luna sitting in the chair beside one of her two bedroom widows she returned to her human form and huged the cat that was like her second mother. Usagi's hair was drencht, she was driping head to tow in rainwater. She was itching to ask questons, she had the look of fear in her eyes, but the reason would be revealed soon enough. There was the look of worry, guilt and betrayal written on her face. Luna looked up with worry and concern, Usagi had been missing for three days, not a single word and she was just lucky Mina had covored for her from the first night she'd decided to disapear.
"Bunny your safe!" Luna snuggled into Usagi's open arms welcoming Usagi back home The young girl held her friend and companion closer to her than she ever had, for comfort. "Luna! I don't know what's happening to me! I've bcome a cat! I can change back but even then I have cat-like reflexes, hearing and scent. It was joust a discuise wasn't it?" Usagi was crying, and trying hard to hold her tears back and whiped them away feuriously, but to no avail. "Usagi you've been gone for three days! Did you ever chage back during that time?" Luna asked eurgently.
"I did, but joust once." Usagi admitted. "You had to change as often as possibly could! Otherwise all the charicteristics that a cat had would remain with you for the rest of your life!" Luna informed franicly. "I WHAT? Hang on you said I was gone for three days! I only left yesterday. Didn't I?" Usagi was confused, how could this be happening? First she's Cat Woman, then she disapears into a compleatly different world. What exactly happened while she was gone?
"No Usagi. Ami found that three days on Earth is one day on Nemisis, It's because one full rotation on Nimisis is three times slower. That would explain both situations, and if you dicuised yourself as an animal, without changing to your actual self as frequently as you where able. You become part of that animal and it became part of you. You gave that part of you life, and it then became a vital part of you." Luna looked at Usagi's bewildered face. Now Sasayaki wasn't just a discuise, she was another part of Usagi, another identidy to add to Usagi's resume.
She was Diamond's dearest, tursted, and most precous friend. "I...I see. Is it safe to change forms? It's vital that I can become Sasayaki!" Usagi hoped, and prayed to the gods She wouldn't have to force Sasayaki to leave Diamond alone again, she didn't want that, and she knew Sasayaki didn't either. "Yes it's safe, you'll have cat-like reflexes in your human form too, but nothing more than that and where'de the name Sasayaki come from?" Luna wasn't expecting a name to come with the discuise, that was only the first step to creating a bond between them.
"Sasayaki is what Diamond named the stray cat that was actualy me. I expected him to take the cat in, hand it over to a servent and I would get information that way." Usagi explained as she changed into a violet kimono with pink and white flowers for the midnight festival that evening. "He named you and took care of you?" Luna questioned this like it was an inportant peice of the puzzle that was vitle to the world's servival.
"Yes, he did and he confided in me too." Usagi stated trouthflly. "When you became human, did somthing so eurgent occer that you ablolutly had to risk your identidy?" Luna was paising now and that made Usagi nervous. "Stop that paising! Yes somthing did happen. He'd locked hmself in his office. I asumed he had work to do because Diamond's brother came in the middle of the night and told Diamond that there was a war bing diclaired on him and that they wheren't prepaired..."
"...I had gone to sleep and thought It wouldn't take too long before he got tired and went back to bed I thought he would continue his work in the morning, Sahphire, Diamond's brother, said that they should be ready in about a month, It's a short time, but it's still time to get ready. It turned out that five houres had passed and Diamond still wasn't back, I went to check in on him. It scaired me because he sounded like he was going through a lot of pain. I wanted to help, but found the door was locked. It was a little later that I found a way in through Sapphire's room..."
the doors to his office where locked. He had been slitting his wrists and was in the process of strangling himself to death. He was nearly unconcous by the time I managed to get inside the office and close the door. Sapphire's a real book worm he had stacks and stacks of books that prevented me from getting in the office that way. It wasn't easy to nock those books over, when your half the size of an 84 pack of cryons and your trying to attack a stack of books the sizes of librery catologs..."
"...Finally managed to nokce the books over, climb the book mountain and slip through the cracked door. I retuned to my human form the second I got inside and locked the door so I wouldn't bee seen by anybody else. Diamond was bearly breathing by the time I'de finally found him and a first ade kit to bandage him up." Usagi told Luna. The prevous night on Nemisis was not somthing Usagi liked to remember, she had feared the worst for Diamond's life, and she admitted that to Luna, who's mouth droped.
"You see Usagi? That's what gave you the reflexes and sences of a cat! You felt something for Diamond when you where in that form. At any point on Nemisis, did you ever promise Diamond or yourself somthing that concerned Sasayaki, or your feelings for Diamond?" Luna looked scaired, affrade to hear Usagi replied.
NEVER had Usagi seen Luna this scaired or worried. "I promised I'de use these sences to the best of my own and it's abilities for the sack of Diamond and Sapphire. Their realy not what we asumed them to be, their kind, caring, and gentle...well everybody accept Emerald, she's as rotten as they come." Usagi thought over everything that happened, she decided to put her hair up and added a few clips, she cirled a few thin strands of hair and let them fall to the sides of her face, and she was satisfide with how she looked for the evening..
"Making a relationship under the power Luna Pen makes that realtionship prminont it's practicly unbrakeable! It's like a spell. if you regret that relationship that you and that person had made that person you care for will die, and now, because your relationship is part of you, You can't keep your secret forever from him, you'll eventualy have to chose between being Usagi as sailor moon, or Sasayaki." Luna knew what she had asked of Usagi was somthing that was probably one of the most hardest and most overwhelming disitions to make. but It had to be done if she wanted to defeat the Black Moon Family or save Prince Diamond.
"Life really doesn't like me. Doesn't it?" Usagi whispered. "You'll know what you must chose when it's time to make your choice." Luna comforted. "Thanks Luna, I think I'll just go see Mina, I have some questions that need answers, maybe once I get those, It'll make things easyer on me." Usagi walked down the steps to the kitchen to tell her family that she was going out fore about an houre and would return by the time they where ready to leave. for the Moonlight Festival. "Hi mama, papa, Sammy." Usagi looked to each of them, then turned around to leave
They had been praying she would return to them, worry and relieve were reflected on each and every one of their faces."Usagi! you got home through the rain allright?" Usagi's mother ran to her daughter and huged her, she was too happy for words, Usagi's father had droped the package of sushi he was holding and ran to join his wife and daugher, Sammy felt left out and rairly admitted he missed his sister when she went away or disapeared but he joined the group hug as well.
"Next time pleas tell us that your going to a friend's house. okay?" Kenji Tsukino pleaded, he was so happy that he wouldn't nore couldn't punish his daughter now, she looked like she suffered too much in the past three days.
"Dear come back as soon as you can, we want to spend time with you." Usagi's mother whispered as she handed Usagi a small bag of cookies to share with Lita, even though she was really going to Mina's. Anything for the scoust I suppose. Usagi thought, taking a deep breath of air before wishing her family a goodbye and left the house, armed with an umbrella.
"what am I suposed to do?" Usagi asked herself, hoping the answer to her questions would fall from the sky with the rain, but nothing came to her, she was so confused, so inocent. Darian's love hadn't been true, so what was true? What was the right kind of love? did she fell any true love towards Diamond? Her mother and father shared a deep love, she wanted a relationship like that.
She wanted her future husband fussing over Rini's boyfriend, she wanted what her parents had, and wanted somone to accept her as she was, but she wanted to know if what she felt for Diamond was true or false, or even real, and if it was real. what kind of love was it? Was it the love she felt for her brother? was it love she felt for a friend? was it the way she thought she felt for Darian? She didn't know.
It only took five minuts where it would have taken any other person fifteen minuts to get to Mina's house, Usagi nocked on the door, she had cried tears of worry and fear, what was going ot happen if Diamond didn't find her? what would happen if she didn't love him the way he loved her? Would he have those heart attack Sapphire spoke of and die because of her? Mina opened the door. Rain coninued to pour, and Usagi still had the umbrella over her head, her eyes where glassy and shown all the emotions that where mixing inside her.
"Bunny you're back! What's wrong?" Mina knew instantly somthing had changed in her friend, her face fell with a scertain devestation, worry and newly optained knowlage that burdened her. "Can I talk to you pleas, it's inportant." Usagi whispered, she didn't look Mina in the eye, but rather looked at her feet and at the rain drops that splashed on the sidewalk, reflecting her imige in it's gray serfice.
"Of cours! Come inside." Mina said instanly. It wasn't like Usagi, she seemed lost, and alone. alone didn't fit Usagi. She was a bubbly, happy, care free girl that cared deeply for those around her. Before, Usagi had allways known how she felt about a person, unsertain, love, sympathy, friendship comfort, troust. but this time she was mor unsure than she had been in all her life, she had allways had somthing to use as somthing to help her ditermin how she felt about a person if she wasn't shure of them. She was confused and lost within her own heart and she couldn't get out.
"What happened Usagi?" Mina asked worriedly, she brought in a tray of cookies and milk, for them to share.Usagi closed Mina's bedroom door once she was inside and Mina hand placed the tray on the table in the center of her room. Usagi began crying again, but Mina still didn't know why. What was happend to her friend to make her cry like this.
"I think I did somthing wrong when I decided to go udercover and find The Black Moon Family's secrets. It's just too much." Usagi sobbed, burrying her face in a stuffed rabbit that Mina hand laying at the end of her bed. It was silent for several minuts, rain tapped on the widow and thunder boomed ousidel.
Mina couldn't find words to say, but she spoke first. "What was it that you wanted to ask me?" Mina put a comforting arm around Usagi's trembling shoulders. Usagi inhaled cool air before begining her questions and explenations.
"I think I might have been using Diamond." Usagi whispered, she took a nibble at one of the cookies and whiped away another tear. "We asked you to find out answers, how is that using Diamond?" Mina asked sofly. "That's joust it! I went with him only to get answers from him , nothing more, he's truly kind hearted and sweet. His worst fear is my death, I've been missing from battles for two weeks now and he caught wind of it and panicked. Now he thinks you guys are either hiding me or I'm missing and dead. Saphire, his little brother said that if Diamond found that I was dead, he could die of heart break. he's been so unhealthy." Usagi took a deeb breath before continuing with her story.
"Sapphire said Diamond could have a heart attack and die of it. I was named Sasayaki when I changed myself into a cat. I'de just expect him to take the cat and give it to a servint to take care of, but it didn't go as I'd planned. Luna said that a relationship that is forged under the power of the Luna pen is perminent, and if I regret tht relationship, he could die. Sasayaki's become a part of me, like being Sailor moon has become a very crucial part of me. Diamond told Sasayaki that he's been sick sense he was a baby and now it's cursed him, he also mentioned that he wanted to see me smiling and happy, he wanted to have a hppy and peacfull life, settle donw and have a family. With his kingdom gong to war with other kingdoms of Nemisis, he wanted to settle his affairs before he died...
...BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE MINA! I...I don't. He's trying to win the war against the enimy but he doesn't even know who his enimy is! how can he defeat them when he doesn't know the enimies weakness or what he's facing?" Usagi sobbed into the stuffed rabbit. "Usagi that's not using him, if you where, then you'd try and hurt him but that's not your intention, Yes maybe you could use information he gave you against him but you never used him, you haven't given us any information to use. Your kind and gentle you would never hurt a person intentionaly, and you don't seem to regret your blooming relationship, and so he's safe." Mina comfoted,
Usagi nodded with a small smile. "Arigato Mina." She whisperd before standing to leave. "Mina?" Usagi turned to her best friend, She looked up in serprise. "Yes?" Mina smiled comfortingly at the tears that had been shed for Diamond by her dearest friend, leader and Princess "I think...I love him, but I don't know if it's real, and if it is, what kind of love do I feel for him? If I don't love him the right way, I'm scaired I might regret everything." Usagi sat back down asking the best person that could help her crisis.
"Do you get a warm and fuzzy feeling when he's close?" Mina picked up a magazien and fliped to the last page. "Well..yes, sort of, I feel safe and protected too." Usagi answered thoughtfully. "You still don't know how you feel do you Usagi?" Mina asked, tossing the magazien onto her bed. "No. I don't know what to think anymore." Usagi admitted hoplessly. "Usagi. Take this from me. Only you can tell how you feel about him, and only time can tell can answer your questions." Mina huged Usagi in a comforting embrace.
"I'm happy to help you when ever you need me. You know, if it botherr's you that much go and see him after the Midnight Festival." Mina eurged. Usagi nodded again, and stood to leave. there was nothing left to say, not even thank you would sufise. Usagi turned again and looked The soulder of love in the eyes. "Mina could you come with me? I don't think my parents would mind if you, and Lita came, Sammy's bringing Mika."
Usagi looked at Mina with begging eyes, she got on ther knees and beged, to boot, she also gave Mina the puppydog look, and the look suted her, but she looked more like a bunny than a puppy. What, whith her big blue eyes and face that could charm anyone. Mina caved, she couldn't stop grinning nor could diny her best friend her company, besides that face was just too adorable to refuse.
If Usagi held it any longer, Mina would laughe and she couldn't risk waking her parents, not only that, she would suficate under the lack of oxsygin. "All right." Mina giggled, not at the begging look that her friend was famous for, but the grin that brok out. Usagi's eyes shined with a scertain hope and maturity that wasn't there before, even still it was making Usagi a better person.
Part 2
"How do they expect to start the fireworks with all this rain?" Mina asked, she was the one to hold Usagi's bunny umbrella now Usagi was carrying several blankets and her cookis. the two girls, as well as best friends walked up the steps of an aprartment building. "What rain?" Usagi asked puzzled. The rain had stoped just before Mina had asked her question. "It stoped?" Mina looked up at the sky, the clowds where just breaking and a rainbow revealed itself. "Wow!" Usagi exclaimed, Mina ringed the doorbell. "Coming!" Lita's voice was heard from inside and she sounded like she struggling to get to the frount door.
"What does she have in there?" Mina asked. "Hay!" Lita greeted, the door was now opened, books where scatterd everywher it seemed Lita had been doing some late studying. She held a large boxed lunc in hand and wore a dark green kimono, her hair was held up in a bun with a few aditional clips and ribbens to celebrate the holiday. "Wow you two look so pretty!" Lita compamented happly.
"you don't look so bad yourself." Mina agreed, now compemingin Lita. "Do you want to join us?" Mina aked casualy. Lita nodded and they where on their way, Mina now cariied the blankest and Usagi did't noticed they had been taken from her Usagi's feet joust fell in step with her two best friends, turned corners when they turned corners, she didn't seem herself anymor, no longer the happy Usagi everybody knew and loved.
"Bunny what's the matter?" Lita leaned over Mina to look at Usagi's face, she was in deep thought, and looking at her hands that held the folded umbrella and bag of cookies. Why do get the feeling somthing bads about to happen? It's like I know somthings going to go compleatly wrong. Somthings after Diamond and my family. But what is it? Usagi was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name being called several times and saw a hand waving hin her face. "Usagi? Usagi! BUNNNY!" Blue eyes blinked before replying. "Oh hi Lita." Usagi greeted. "Are you okay?" Lita put her hand on Usagi's forhead. "No feaver." Lita stated. "I'm fine Lita, it's just I have a lot on my mind." Usagi continued walking, but Lita was still sceptical.
"Hay listen Bunny, I understand if you don't want to go and do what we asked you to do the other day If that why you havn't spoken to us for three days then I'm sorry" Lita put a comfoting hand on her shoulder. "She did do what we asked, and that's why she was gone for three days and she hasn't talked to us." Mina broke in. "Usagi we didn't mean for it to hurt you like that, pressuring you to go, we knew how much you feared Diamond. HAY why wasn't told that you took off? Did that bastard hurt you Bunny? Did he hymnoize you into not tellling us?"
At this moment Usagi pulled away. "HE'S NOT EVIL HH'S NOT A BASTARD AND NOR IS HIS BROTHER!" Usagi scramed, she was trembling, tears briming up in her eyes again. It seemed that all she was doing thies days was crying, no wonder Diamond wanted to see her smile. Seeing her pain, caused him more pain. Even if it was joust once, he despretly wanted to see her smiling, he wanted to see her happy, truely happy, then all of his life long pains and sufferings would have been worth it.
Her life was changing before her very eyes, more than she'de ever imgaind she couldn't keep up with all that was happening, she couldn't comprehend it all, destiny was dragged by the wrist, and she couldn't get free. What ws she supposed to do? She didn't know what to feel. Her heart was allways the thing to tell her what the right choice was, but now, even her heart was lost and confused.
she didn't know what disition to make, she couldn't stop it if she made the wrong disition, and she wasn't sure if she could live with it if she made the wrong one either. "I'm sorry Lita, it's just that I've found out some things that sort of have me baffled." Usagi huged her tomboyish friend reasuringly. Lita understood how it was to go through changes, especialy ones that changed your life forever.
"I'm sorry." Lita whisperd. Usagi shook her head, it didn't matter anymore. Lita understood now, and now was better than not understanding at all. "I have somthings to tell you and show you." Usagi whiped away more tears and they walked on, into a sacluded guarden where she could explain and show to Lita what happend and what she felt. "I'm still sorry for what I said." Lita repeated quietly.
"Don't apologize, it's my fault, I'll explain everything to you guys." Usagi took out the Luna Pen, she had no need to call out what she wished to be, the ribbens of pink and white sarounded her and reavealed a small white cat. "Is that cute thing Usagi?" Lita asked in disbelief. "No. That's Sasayaki, Diamond named her, and in those three days she was gone she bonded with, so now Sasayaki isn't just Usagi, but Her own person as well." Mina explained. "I see, so that's why she was so quick to defent Diamond." Lita stated.
Sasayaki retuned to the form of Usagi. and she smiled sadly. "There's so much I have to tell you." Usagi walked over to a pond the two girls fallowed, the violet sleeves of her kimono blew in the wind, making Usagi look more alone and less like herslef. Lita and Mina looked at that the white and pink flowers on her kimono where becomig more defient and glittering in the remainging light of the setting sun. they finlay stood beside Usagi who was stairing into a pond, three fish looking up at her with breat curiosity, before they returned to their swimming again, making them seem as though they hadn't looked at the Usagi at all.
Lita sat down on a fountain's edg a moment later Mina joined her with Usagi who was holding a bundle of Forgetme-nots and sunflowers she had just picked. Usagi looked at the flowers with a new opreciation and love. She was blessed with the flowers of the earth, she was givin a chance to live under the beautiful sunlight. She had what Diamond wanted, but most of all he wanted her to show her these things that she kept so dear and protected with her very life. Usagi took a deep breath before begining her story of what she knew of Diamond and how her view, thoughts and feelings for him where changed.
"I've been thinking over it for a while. There was a point where I'd wonder and wish he'd open himself up to me, Usagi Tsukino, instead of just Sasayaki The Cute Adorable Kitten, but then I realized, painfully realized. How can I expect him to express himself to me, when I won't give him the chance? It hurt to realize that it wasn't his fault he comfided in a kitten, it was mine.
He comfided in a cat, because I listent to him that way, I didn't complain, and I comforted him in that form. all because in Sasayaki's form, I didn't speak, I listen more, I listen to those I care for and trust, and before, I didn't trust nor cared for Diamond, and becuse I didn't listen, he experienced so much lonlyness so much excruciationg pain. If I can help it this time, I'll listen to him, no questions asked till the end." Usagi breathed and let the the flowers fly away with the wind, they created a spiral and landed gently in the pond that lay beside the fountain.
"Bunny your not a bad person for that, you care for him now don't you?" Lita asked softly, Usagi nodded. "Then you can heal him, you can make things better." Lita was shaking Usagi by the shoulders now, to make sure she understood, Usagi breathed in again and slowly let out her breath. "Thank you, but what do I do? If I brake the relationship between Sasayaki and Diamond by regreting it, I could end up killing him! The connection Luna was talked about was one of power, the power of the heart and the Silver Crystal. I don't know if I regret starting this quiet relationship with him, but I'm affrade to find out how I feel, because if I learn that It's not the right love or feeling, he could die..."
"...Luna said if a relationship under the power of the Luna pen was forged, it would become peminent and if I where to regret it, the person that used it would suffer, the other person, in this case Diamond, would die. I'm scaird to talk to him. What if it changes everything and it all goes wrong? I don't know how to stop the relationship from deepening. I think I understand now. why he was so crulel before though." Usagi smiled with a knew understanding and wisdom.
"Really? How?" Mina asked interested. "He wanted me to listen, he wanted to be heard." Usagi said sadly "I hate to admit it took me a long time to admit to myself that I ignored him and regected him. I think I can move on with my life and maybe help Diamond and Sapphire as well. I won't let them die because of my mistakes!" Usagi stood with a new ditermination and gestured for Lita and Mina to fallow her out of the guardain. "We'll stay with you every step of the way Bunny!" Mina said cheefully. Usagi breathed as smiled a little more, It was a smile of relief and hope. "I feel so much better! now that I've told someone everything." Usagi shouted, stretching out and breathing in the sweet scent of the flowers sarouning her.
"You'll show Diamond this guarden somday, and maybe get married in it." Mina said happly. Usagi looked at Mina with a red face. "Yah maybe we could be your brides mades!" Lita chimed in, her fist in the air. Usagi nodded. "I cant' wate to go with you guys and watch the fireworks, eat he food, and play all the games." Usagi said excitedly as she rememberd her family wating for her at home.
She had cheered up considerably in the past few minuts. It had been because she felt she didn't regret the bond she had made between Diamond and herself, things would work out in the end, they had to. "Think we should ask your mom for ice cream to bring?" Lita looked at Usagi, who's eye's widend with glee. "UH YES!" Usagi shriked and taged Lita, and the three giirls went racing to Usagi's . It was a stuped question realy, but Lita wanted to see Usagi smile and maybe if Diamod was around, he could see it too.
Author's note!
Okay! I am done with this one and I can't wate to move on to the next one! I know my spellings bad! and i'm wating for the reply and soon enough I can get it corrected compleatly.
It'll be a bit slower when school starts but I'll still uptdate within the month Remember! Feel free to ask questions, either about the fic or about me which ever? i don't care. and I have this all planed out. well kind of...but I have some good twists and the basic idea plotted out in my head, I jsut need to add the bits and peices.