Surrounded By Darkness

I sat on my bed in my dorm, sketching a picture of Jeremiah. I'd told Nick I was doing homework. 'You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream!' My phone. Kurt was calling. "Hello, Kurt Hummel," I said cheerfully.

"Blaine." I recognized that tone. He was in trouble.

"Hey Kurt, it's okay," I said in a kind, gentle tone. "What is it? I'm here. I'm listening."

"I took your advice," he sniffed. "I confronted Karofsky."

I winced. "What happened? He beat you up?"

"N-no," Kurt shivered. "He k-kissed me."

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "Wow. He - he kissed you. That wasn't… so he's gay?"

"Yes," Kurt gulped. "I'm just so surprised. I'm shocked; I -"

"Say nothing more," I stopped him. "I'll be at McKinley tomorrow."

"You mean, you're gonna confront him?" He sounded startled.

"Kind of," I took a deep breath. "I wanna talk to him. I might be able to help."

"I don't know," Kurt said unsurely. "He'll probably throw you through a wall before you can say two words. Neanderthals don't talk. They do."

"You're wrong about him, I think, Kurt." I shook my head. "Apparently he's just like us. He's just scared. He isn't like the bullies I knew at my private school."

Kurt gave a humorless laugh. "He's not like us."

"He just might surprise you," I said optimistically. I remembered how I felt when I first started realizing that I was gay. It was a hard time in my life. First I denied it. I laughed off the idea. I couldn't have been gay. Then I became angry, but I never would have hurt anyone like this Karofsky guy was. Then I became depressed, and then, of course, I accepted myself. If Karofsky was in that stage of anger, perhaps I could get him to accept himself? Kurt would probably think I was some kind of miracle worker if I could do that. I didn't want to let him down.

"You're really brave, Blaine. That's all I can say," Kurt told me.

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Kurt."

"I'll go with you to confront Karofsky," Kurt promised. "I won't let you do it alone."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and took another deep breath. What was I getting myself into? Maybe I was giving Karofsky too much credit. I mean, yeah, he was gay like Kurt and me, but he was still a bully like Reggie. Maybe he couldn't be helped. I wanted to believe there was good in everyone, but maybe there wasn't in him. When I tried talking to him, he would either thank me or beat me to a pulp.

"Wow," I whispered in disbelief. "He actually kissed him."

I had not expected that. I'd expected anything but that. I supposed bullies weren't all black and white. Karofsky didn't hate gays. He hated himself.

I fell asleep that night thinking about what had happened to Kurt. I humored myself wondering how I would have felt if Reggie kissed me? It wouldn't have happened; Reggie was straight (I was almost certain), but wouldn't that have been crazy? If I was Kurt, I wouldn't have known what to think. It was just insane. I still couldn't comprehend it. When I'd talked to Kurt on that first day I met him, I prepared him to teach Karofsky not to be prejudice. I hadn't prepared him for this…

Thad drove me to McKinley the next day during our lunch break.

"So, why am I driving you to McKinley?" he wanted to know.

"I need to help Kurt," I replied. "Bully issues."

Thad shook his head. "Good luck."

"Thanks," I replied, writing a text to Kurt.

Blaine: Where are you?

Kurt: Bottom of staircase behind the History building.

Blaine: Be there in a sec.

I got out of the car and walked across campus in my Dalton uniform. People stared curiously at me, wondering who I was and why I was there. A couple of girls started giggling and nudging each other like they thought I was cute. I continued over to the staircase behind the History building. I could see loud teens sitting at lunch tables.

There Kurt was, his hair combed to perfection; dressed in a blue waistcoat, a scarf, and a tight pair of jeans. On his arm was a tote bag. "Hey," I got his attention. He'd been looking around, looking for me.

"Hi," he replied breathlessly. "Thanks again for coming," he went on as we passed some hurrying teens up the stairs.

"Don't worry about it," I said kindly. "Just let me do the talking."

An intimidating, burly guy in a letterman jacket appeared and I hoped he wasn't Karofsky, but he looked like every description Kurt had given me. "There he is," Kurt informed me. Of course it was him.

"I got your back," I assured Kurt. I cleared my throat and said in a perfectly calm tone to the bully, "Excuse me."

For a moment he looked surprised, but then he taunted, "Hey, lady boys." I ignored his ignorant comment. He scoffed, looking quite unhappy. "This your boyfriend, Kurt?"

"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something," I explained.

"I gotta go to class," he snapped, shoving Kurt on his way. Kurt didn't do anything back. He just took it, like a rag doll.

"Kurt told me what you did," I told Karofsky.

He stopped and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"You kissed me," Kurt said shakily.

Karofsky looked around quickly to make sure no one had overheard that. "I don't know what you're talking about." I'd expected him to say that.

"It seems like you might be a little confused, and that's totally normal," I said kindly. "This is a very hard thing to come to terms with," I went on, like a psychologist would, as the bully tried to run away, "and you should just know that you're not alone."

The bully stopped, turned around, and before I knew it, I was up against the railing.

I was frightened, but I couldn't show it. My heart was racing, but all I did was lift my hands in attempt to calm him down.

"You have to stop this!" Kurt shrieked, shoving Karofsky surprisingly hard.

The bully stood there, watching as Kurt stared back at him with his eyes wide and his chest rising and falling. Karofsky wanted to do something. Hit him or come up with some harsh insult. Maybe even kiss him again. But he had nothing. Instead, he ran. He turned around and ran like the closeted coward that he was.

Kurt exhaled, and I said, "Well, he's not coming out any time soon."

Kurt let his bag fall and sat down on one of the steps. I brushed the imaginary dust off my uniform where Karofsky had grabbed me and pushed me up against the railing. I shrugged my arms and looked down at Kurt. "What's going on?" He didn't answer, so I walked over to join him and sat down. "Why are you so upset?"

He sighed. "Because, up until yesterday, I had never been kissed…. Or, at least… one that counted."

I nodded and sighed. I'd actually never been kissed, but I didn't have to tell him that. "Come on. I'll buy you lunch." I pat him on the back, and he smiled tiredly. He sighed again, and followed me down to the lunch line. "One that counted," I repeated what he said. "What does that mean?"

"Last year I kissed this slutty girl named Brittany," Kurt explained, rolling his eyes like it was the biggest mistake he'd ever made. "She's in Glee Club."

I laughed. "Sounds like you hit rock bottom."

Kurt chuckled. "I just hope that next time I kiss somebody, it's someone I actually like."

I sighed. "Don't worry. I'm sure he will be someone you like."

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I haven't had much luck with guys I like. Most of them are straight."

"I know how you feel," I assured him. "For years I had a crush on Chase Crawford."

"That's not really the same, though," Kurt mumbled. "You don't know him. He can't reject you to your face."

"I know," I assured him. "I'm sorry. But you'll definitely find the right man. I mean, you're a great guy."

His blue eyes twinkled with hope. "You really think so?"

"I know so," I said with a warm smile. He blushed, and I pat him on the back again and said, "I'm gonna buy you a pizza."

He wrinkled up his nose and scrunched up his eyes. "I'd hardly call it a pizza. The food served at this school isn't satisfactory."

"Oh well," I chuckled with a shrug. I paid for his food and for my own. Then we walked over to an empty table and sat down. A plump African American girl with a trendy outfit approached us with her tray.

"Hi Kurt," she said sweetly. She looked a little threatened after observing me. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all," I said with a bright smile. "Hi, my name's Blaine."

"Actually Mercedes, I need to talk to Blaine alone," Kurt said softly.

The girl looked hurt. "Fine," she said, turning around and walking away.

Kurt gave a long sigh and I said, "I understand that you're feeling distant, but you shouldn't alienate yourself from your friends."

"I don't know what to say to her right now," Kurt mumbled, staring blankly at his pizza.

"Kurt, I'm gonna help you with this Karofsky guy," I promised him. "So I wasn't successful today. Don't worry. There's always next time. I'll take care of him."

"I hope so, Blaine," he sighed.