He went to school the next day. He didn't want to arouse suspicion, and he'd already been absent that week.
He'd wanted to avoid John, but as soon as he'd walked in the doors, John came bounding up to him, as if he'd been expecting him.
"Hey, Alexander, Lafayette wanted me to- hey what's wrong?"
"Nothing." His voice was monotone.
"Alexander…" He grabbed hold of Alexander's shoulders. "You look tired." He hadn't slept at all the night before.
"You look like you've been crying." He had been. All night.
"You look like you're in pain." He was.
"What happened?" He lowered his voice. "Did your mom get worse?"
"She'll be fine." His voice cracked.
"Alright, come on. We're going to go to Starbucks. You need coffee and a friend."
They walked the block or so to the Starbucks that was near the school. John pulled up a chair for Alexander, and ordered a couple of very sugary Starbucks coffees.
"Okay. What's happening?"
"The first bell just rang."
"Yeah I don't care. I care about youAlexander, I don't care about school. What'swrong? Is this about your mom?" A muscle in Alexander's jaw tightened. "Nothing."
"There's obviously something going on, Alex."
"Don't call me that." Alexander growled. It had been what his mother called him.
"Alright." John looked like he was beginning to get frustrated. "Alexander, what's wrong?"
"Nothing you can do anything about."
"I don't care. I want to know, because talking it through is going to help you."
"Just stop talking to me!" Alexander shouted, standing up and earning a few scowls from the other people in the small shop. John looked hurt, and Alexander regretted it as soon as he did, but he didn't say anything else. He walked out of the shop.
"Alexander, I can tell you, that it in the run? It's going to be okay." What bullshit. How was anything supposed to be okay now? His mom was dead, he'd yelled at John who was now avoiding him, Lafayette and Herc were giving him dirty looks in the hallway for knowing that he'd done something to John, and on top of it all his chemistry teacher had given him another detention for not paying attention in class. He planned to skip that. To skip band practice. To go find somewhere to sleep, somewhere that he wouldn't get stabbed halfway through the night.
It was two weeks later, and he hadn't actually talked to John or the rest of his friends. He was finally sleeping- but only out of pure exhaustion- on a bench in a park. How stereotypical.
Alexander was no longer getting the nasty looks from Herc or Lafayette. He figured that probably had something to do with John, damn how nice he was. He'd finally started going back to band practice, simply for something to do, and when he did he'd gotten yelled at by King George, George Washington, and Aaron Burr. John had avoided looking at him during that. Alexander had just stood there and taken it, knowing he deserved every word of it. Although, halfway through, George Washington had seemed to realize how awful Alexander looked, and stopped shouting, only to ask what was wrong. Alexander had just walked away.
He started doing better in his classes, once again as something to do, so he wouldn't think about his mother. About how she was still warm when he'd gotten home, and about how if he'd only insisted that they go to the hospital, and get the bills, however unpayable they were, then she would still be alive.
It was only a fucking fever.
Alexander hadn't had a shower since he'd left his home, and he didn't have a change of clothes either. People were beginning to tell. He kept his hair up in a ponytail, because it looked less dirty that way. Some days he wore his coat, and other days he didn't.
Anything to keep people from realizing that he was homeless.
On days that they had contests or football games, Alexander just sat in front of the school as if waiting for someone to pick him up, but when it was time to get to the school for whatever event they had, he would walk back to the band hall as if he had been dropped off at the school.
Occasionally someone would come up to him and ask him about his clothes, and Alexander would just joke that he had a bunch of the same shirt just because they were comfortable. None of them believed him, and just thought him to be poor. Which was true, honestly more true than they thought.
He was starving. He'd probably lost ten pounds since, the only food he got was stolen from stores. One time he was caught trying to steal an apple, and the cashier had paid for him to buy several apples when he'd seen how skinny and awful Alexander looked.
But finally, after two weeks, Alexander couldn't take it anymore. It was getting colder, and down to 50° at night, when he was sleeping in the park. It was raining at school, and Alexander knew that he couldn't sleep outside when he heard that it was supposed to rain all night.
So he walked home from school- thankfully there wasn't a game or contest that day, being a Tuesday. And he walked to where he hoped to god that he'd be accepted. He walked to John's house.
Knocking, he wrapped his coat tighter around him.
"Hi Mrs. Laurens."
"Alexander! What are you doing here? Gosh I haven't seen you in weeks. Come in, it's raining." John's mom motioned for him to come inside. He didn't move. "I have to talk to John."
"Of course. John! Your friend is here to see you!"
"Which friend?" Alexander's heart ached at hearing John's voice, which he hadn't heard since he'd shouted at him in the Starbucks, when all John was trying to do was make him feel better.
"Alexander!" There was a pause before a thundering of feet coming down stairs. John didn't pause before launching himself at Alexander, and for a moment he thought John was going to attack him, but he wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. "Ohmygod Alexander. Don't ever do that again."
And Alexander broke down in tears.
"Come in, it's raining." John dragged Alexander in the house.
"Now please, Alex, t- sorry, Alexander, tell me what's wrong?"
"You can call me Alex." His voice sounded tiny in between his sobs.
"Please tell me, you've got me worried sick about you. You look thin, you look like you haven't showered, and you've been wearing the same clothes for the last few weeks."
Alexander glanced up at John's mother, and she took her cue to leave.
"My-" He hiccupped. "My mom died." John's face fell. "Oh my god. Are- are you okay?"
"I've- can I sleep here tonight?"
"Yeah. Alex, are you okay?"
"I've been sleeping on a bench in the park."
"Oh my god, Alex!" He didn't sound angry, but he'd started crying too. He put his hand on his mouth. "For how long?"
"Two weeks now."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" He pulled Alexander into another hug. He still didn't sound angry.
"I- I was scared."
"Alexander… I am so sorry." John stepped back to look at Alexander. "Alright, you go upstairs and take a shower, I'm gonna go talk to my mom about you staying." He drew Alexander close and pressed a kiss to his forehead, before walking into the next room to where his mother was. Alexander rubbed his eyes, and headed up the stairs, pausing halfway to listen to the conversation John was having with his mother.
"Can Alexander stay here?"
"John you know we don't have any spare bedrooms."
"He can sleep in my room.
"In… your room?"
"He just lost his mother, and he's been sleeping on a bench."
"Oh jesus. Seriously?"
"Would I lie about this?"
"No. Alright. He can stay in your room. I trust you'll make him feel welcome and comfortable."
"Of course."
Hearing that he would be able to stay in the Laurens's house, a weight dripped off of Alexander. Not wanting to hear whatever else the conversation was, and eager to finally take a shower, he walked the rest of the way up the stairs and went into the bathroom next to John's room.