A/N: Still very excited about the reviews I'm getting. Keep them coming! To understand part of the beginning, you will have to have watched Full Metal Jacket, (or have been in the military).

disclaimer: Still not mine.

Arnold woke up in his bunk in his dorm room on Sunday morning. He had stayed in yesterday after one too many beers on Friday and slept till noon, and did home work the rest of the day, now that it was all done, he decided to do something productive. And following his physical therapists instructions, he was to run at least half a mile at least twice a week, and he was already behind. Looking at his alarm clock, it was 5:30, and looking out the window, the sky was painted a dark blue, with lingering fog drifting around the buildings. He got up and was already awake by the time he stood up. He slips on a pair of old Dickies slacks cut off at the knees, a long sleeved thermal shirt and a green sleeveless hoodie, then slipped on his running shoes. Pulling out his store brand MP3 player, he selected his Louis Armstrong playlist and headed outside. Once outside he began to stretch, and headed off.

He didn't mind running in the army. And having to do it to a cadence about Eskimo's while keeping time was something he grew used to. He started off in a brisk run, enjoying how the cool and crisp morning air would pierce his lungs as he breathed, and how the thick morning dew would cool his skin as Mac The Knife came on through his head phones. Once he was half way down the courtyard path, he picked up his speed to a full run. He rounded a corner to the long path that paralleled the one he just came down and maintained his fast pace. He just past the first bench on his left when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He looked over and saw a rather tall looking girl, hair back in a pony tail that bounced with each step she took, wearing a pair of short pink work out shorts, and a white long sleeved shirt. He smiled as he slowed his pace to stay parallel with her and smiled.

Once she looked over at him, he quickened his pace hoping she would accept his challenge. Once he had his pace set considerably faster than hers, he looked back at her with a smug grin, and she seemed to get the message. She lowered her head down and broke into a full sprint to catch up with him. He laughed to himself as he let her get ahead of him for half a minute then broke into a faster run, but not quite sprinting and quickly caught up with her. They ran until the two paths met and looked over at each other and he raised an eye brow before she grinned and started to speed ahead of him. You have no idea what you just got yourself into, Pataki.

He broke into a full sprint and past her as he practically jumped down the set of five stairs as he looked back to see her right on his tail. He slowed his pace slightly so she could catch up and soon she was right beside him. "Having... trouble... Pataki?" He said between breaths.

"In your dreams!" She broke into a full sprint a head of him as he caught sight of her long legs flexing with each forceful stride she took. He groaned inwardly as he shook away his less than honorable thoughts. Almost reaching the fountain, he broke into yet another full sprint and easily caught up with her and reached the edge of the fountain a few steps before she did. "You cheated!" She accused bracing herself against her knees and panting.

He placed his hands on his back and leaned back to stretch his back. "No, I hustled you. Big difference."

"You still cheated!" She said in a raised voice as she straightened up and ran her finger tips behind her ear. If I wasn't mistaken, she just let out a bit of the old Helga.

"I've had to outrun mortar shellings before, Helga. So beating you in a race was no problem."

"What's that suppose to mean?!" She shoved a finger into his chest.

"I don't know what it means to you, but what it says to me is that I'm faster than you." He responded with crossed arms.

"Oh yeah?" She mirrors his posture. "How about a rematch then? First one to the math department has to buy me a coffee."

"You seem pretty sure of yourself, Pataki."

"Pretty sure than I'm going to win, yes..." She started strafing to her right towards the destination they agreed upon. She narrowed her eyes at him and smirked. "Football head!" She took off into a full sprint down the patch laughing.

"Oh, you are in SO much trouble, Pataki!" He yelled as he took off after her.

"Face it, Helga, I won." He said as he opened the door to the cafe open for her.

"You did not! I won fair and square, and we have come here to claim my prize, so go up there and get me my mocha!"

He sighed heavily, feigning defeat. "You're right, Helga. You're right. I bow to the master." He bent over in front of her. "I will now and always will be slower than you, for I am but a salted slug compared to the great Helga Geraldine Pataki! I am forever humbled and privileged to have compete against you, and I am forever grateful to have been beaten so badly by one with such greatness, and the... Helga G. Pataki!"

"Okay! Okay! Geez, I'll pay for the coffee." She walked up to the counter as Arnold threw on a devious smile from his bent over position, having one hand across his waist, and the other straight out in a bow. She came back and handed him his Styrofoam cup.

"I told you I won."

"You did not win! I just wanted you to shut up!" She smiled behind her cup. That's the Helga I knew. He took a sip of his coffee, and followed her outside. She went and sat down on a bench and he followed her, sitting about a foot apart. "But... I will admit that you ALMOST beat me."

"Not a very gracious winner are you?"

"No, but I'm still the winner."

"Well, I... Helga?" He stopped and studied her sudden change of expression, as she looked past him with wide eyes. She sat down her mocha and stood up, jogging past him as he looked behind him to see what suddenly caught her attention. She ran into the arms of a guy walking down the path and the light feeling, the serenity she was providing him suddenly evaporated, as the heavy feeling of jealousy was quickly seeping into his system. She jumped into him as her legs bent behind her as he hugged her. He set her down and kissed her deeply, and Arnold felt his whole arm flex with anger. He shook it off and stood up to walk away, accepting defeat and inner heartbreak for the sake of her happiness. With his fears now confirmed in the form of a tall, dark haired man with a half beard, he turned around and calmly walked away, trying not to show his anguish too much through his posture.

"Hey Arnold!" Oh god, please no. "I want to introduce you to someone!"

"Id rather you didn't." He muttered under his breath. He turned around and plastered a fake lop sided grin and half lidded gaze over at the man he had not spoken to, yet he hated with ever fiber of his being at this moment in time.

"Arnold, this is Robert. Robert, this is Arnold, the guy I was telling you about." The guy whom Helga seems quite proud of extended his hand over to Arnold and smiled a smile that Arnold could tell right away was fake. He shook Robert's hand Arnold could tell that he was not happy meeting him, his arm was stiff. But Arnold couldn't say much either, he was not thrilled about meeting him either.

"Hey there, Arnold. Helga's told me a lot about you." His voice was deep, too deep. He's trying to intimidate me by lowering his voice, and by trying to prove his strength with his stiff hand shake.

"Wish I could say the same, but Helga hasn't mentioned you." He clasped his hands behind his back and spoke in a very smooth voice.

"Well, I feel I practically know you already, by the way Helga goes on about you. I wonder if I should be jealous." Robert faked a grin down at Helga beside him. You have no idea, buddy.

"No need to be jealous, Robby," Ugh, I can't stand pet names. "He's just a good friend." Arnold did his very best to hid the utter disappointment at Helga's declaration. He simply looked over to Robert and flashed a small smile.

"Well, I better get going, I still have a half a mile to go. If you'll excuse me. It was a pleasure meeting you, Robert." He turned around and started jogging away, tossing his more than half full cup in the trash can next to the bench he and Helga had just sat at. He broke into a fast run and rounded a corner down a path and hesitated to look over to Helga and Robert. Sure enough, their lips were locked, and Arnold broke into a full sprint, hoping his anger would seep out of himself if he ran hard enough.

It was the next Friday night, and it had been a long week for Arnold. He tried his best to avoid Helga, knowing Robert wouldn't be far behind. Deciding he needed to forget about it, he called up Eddie to see if he wanted to meet him at the Old Smoke. After agreeing upon a time, he threw his field jacket on and made his way out side. Making his way toward the Old Smoke, with a firm mind set to get plastered with Eddie, he was deep in self loathing thoughts when he was startled out of his trance by a light giggle. He looked up and Helga and Robert were making their way toward him, hand in hand. The one time I'm trying to avoid her...

He slumped his head downward, hoping he would go by unnoticed. They past by him, and a momentary flood of relief hit him before he heard his name being called out from behind him. God damn it!

"Hey Arnold, where you going?" Helga asked.

"Just... going for a walk. Going a little stir crazy in my dorm."

"Well, me and Rob were just headed downtown, you want to come with us?" Arnold glanced over at Robert, and his suspicions were confirmed. A slight facial twitch, free arm flexing with his hand being balled up in a tight fist, before he release it, posture stiffening at the mention of having to share his time with some one else. He's emotionally insecure, very jealous, combative, and possibly capable of abuse.

"Uh, that's alright. Three's a crowd after all." Arnold feigned yet another smile and turned to walk away.

"Okay, see you in class on Monday, Arnold." He raised a hand and waved behind him.

"Alright, Brightside, what's got you down?" Eddie said, motioning toward the bartender and sitting next to Arnold at the bar.

Arnold looked down at the folded up piece of paper sitting in front of him. He picked up his beer and took a long swig. He sighed at handed Eddie the paper. "Read this."

Eddie unfolded the paper and read the note aloud.

FLASHBACK:

Arnold woke up and fluttered his eye lids open, coming to star at the expensive looking light fixture in the guest room of the Lloyd mansion. He smiled brightly as the intense memories of the previous night came flooding into his mind. He rolled over to his side to reach out to pull her into him, but all he came to grasp was cold sheets. He opened his eyes again and stared across the plain of the tousled sheets, only to see just that, tousled sheets. He sat up and looked across the room, his shirt lying next to the door, his pants lying just a few feet away from it, with his boxers hanging on the corner of the dresser. He looked over to his right, where she had fallen asleep, and noticed a neatly folded paper sitting on the night stand. He stretched over to grab it, and saw his name neatly written on the outside in purple gel pen.

He opened it and began to read.

Dear Arnold,

You stole my heart at first sight, so it's only fair that I take it back at the last one. I selflessly gave you my heart, hoping you would accept it, and keep it safe, and cherish it. But selfishly, I kept my feelings, and my love to myself, always letting fear dictate how I was to handle them. I know I have grown cold, and distant from everybody over the years, and I would take full responsibility of I was only to blame. I do take most of it, but blame is another thing I can not be selfish about. I gave you my heart, and you may not have seen it, you kept it in your back pocket while you went off chasing after damsels that were in tied to the tracks, even though they tied the note themselves.

I wish I could say I have been right under your nose the whole time, I wish I could say that you have just been blind, but what's the point of seeing if there's nothing there to see. You may have kept my heart, but it has grown cold, and shriveled over the lonely years. And some one as caring, and as loving as you deserved one that is undamaged, and untainted by years of self loathing and self pity.

You gave the loveless one chance to feel loved, the sad one chance to feel truly happy. But if I were to give in, you'd selflessly take my damaged heart, hoping to beat some sort of life back into it, but now, it's not worth it.

And as you read this letter, and come to the inevitable conclusion that it is being written as a good bye letter, you have every single right to feel angry, to even hate me if you have it in you. A part of me hopes that you will, but another part of me wishes that you look back on our night of sensual love making as a good thing, but no more than a one night stand. You made one of my dreams come true, Arnold. I always wanted my first time to be with you, if not you than someone as trusting and caring as you, but I could search for the rest of my life for someone that could even come close to compare to you, and still not fine them... but I have to try.

I could say I will always love you, I could say that I hope that I return one day, and you'd welcome me back with open arms as you always have, and we'd rush toward each other into a long lost lovers embrace never to be broken again, share deep, passionate kisses in the rain, have you propose to me in a field of daisies, and live happily ever after, but I can't do that to you.

I could also say that I hope I leave you with out regrets, but as I look upon you, in a deep sleep, lying next to me, bare chested, hair tousled, a soft smile playing across the lips I have devoured through the night, the scent of our sex still lingering the air, I regret leaving you, knowing you'll wake up alone in the morning, and look over to nothing more than cold sheets.

I could go on, and lord knows I have more than enough to say to you, but I won't waste any more of your time, and give you more time to start forgetting about me, and say this, with the words coming from both the ten year old little girl with a crush, and the eighteen year old young woman who can't let go of it, and I can't bare to ask the same of you. I will always love you, Arnold.

Helga

"So, this is the infamous note you keep going on about, then, huh?" Eddie finished reading and handed the note back to Arnold, who had finished off his beer, and had already ordered another.

"Yeah." Arnold folded the paper back up, and slipped it into his back pocket. "But there's something else."

"What's that, Brightside?"

"She has a boyfriend." He said grimly.

"Then you need something stronger than beer. Can I get two martinis, please?" The bartender set two glasses in front of them. "Alright, Brightside, drink up." Eddie downed his and Arnold did the same.

"Something's off about this guy, Eddie. I can tell." Arnold said after he slammed down his martini.

"Of course there's something off about him. He has your girl. There's going to be something off about him even if he's a freakin' saint."

"No, it's not that. It was in his behavior, he's emotionally insecure."

"And what exactly do you call this?" Eddie motioned up and down to Arnold. Arnold eyed him before he slammed down the martini that was just set in front of him.

"I can tell that he has it in him to abuse her. And I swear..."

"Wow, wow, wow, take it easy, Brightside. Before you're asking me to help you mix cement, just take a deep breath and calm down. What you need is a one night stand." Eddie swung around in his bar stool, and began to survey the bar.

"Eddie, you know how I feel about meaningless sex."

"And you know how I feel about you sulking here, complaining about how your girl has a boyfriend that isn't you, and you aren't out there doing something about it."

"What am I suppose to tell her?! Hey Helga, I have a hunch that you're boyfriend is going to beat you if you stand up for yourself or spend too much time around me?"

"Don't tell me, tell her! I've heard you brag about how beautiful that girl is, how you were going to come back to the states and find her, and sweep her off her damn feet, but here you are, sitting in a bar, giving up just because some douche bag got to her before you did. Snap out of it, Arnold! You're a combat veteran! You do not give up this easily! Now, I'm leaving, and the next time you call me, I expect to see that babe on your arm." Eddie tossed a twenty down on the bar and headed for the door. "You can do it, Brightside!" He called as he strutted through the door.

Arnold looked down at the bar with a heavy sigh before he waved to the bartender. "One more."