Chapter 4
When Harry finally pulled away he took a minute to just study the older man. There were tiny differences since the last time Harry had seen him, but overall he looked the same.
"What have you been up to?" Harry finally asked.
"Well, I don't know if you heard but New York was attacked. This god from another realm came down with an army of aliens called the Chitauri. Loki, the god, used something called the Tesseract to control a lot of people, myself included. I fought Kiddo, but I just couldn't break the hold. I hurt and killed many people."
"Clint," Harry broke in as he reached out to touch the man. "That wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for that."
Clint tried to smile at Harry but it was weak and unconvincing.
"So anyway, eventually Natasha manages to help me break my mind free. At that point everything was pretty screwed up. Loki and Thor, Loki's older adopted brother, were in the wind and the Hulk was, who knows where. The Cap came and rounded us up for the final showdown."
"Who are these people?" Harry asked.
"They are superheroes. We make up a team called The Avengers." Clint started explaining.
Harry listened as Clint described the new team he was a part of. He listened as Clint told him about how originally they could hardly function as a group but had solid friendships now.
"Whenever you are ready I'd like to introduce you to everyone," Clint said.
Harry hesitated for a moment before saying softly "I'd like that."
"What's going on Kiddo?" Clint asked as Harry started to withdraw a little bit.
Harry tried to offer a small smile but Clint saw straight through it. Harry let it fade, knowing the older man wasn't buying it.
"I'm just tired Clint. I don't know what I'm going to do. I…"
"Hey, whatever is going on I'll help you. Just talk to me Har," the older man prodded gently.
Harry sat in silence for several long minutes. When he spoke his voice was soft and unsure.
"Did Director Fury ever tell you what you were training me for?"
Clint offered an encouraging smile as he replied "About the Wizarding World? Yeah, he told me after you left."
Harry's head whipped around to stare at the man sitting beside him with wide emerald eyes.
"It's ok, Harry," Clint soothed.
Harry pushed away from Clint and the sofa to pace around the room. Harry ran his hands through his shaggy black hair, trying to process the fact that the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. knew about magic and had told the man who trained him.
"I can't lie and say I wasn't surprised at first but, honestly Harry, I've come across stranger and a whole lot worse in my day. The fact that you have magic is very low on my weird list," the older man stated.
Hearing that, Harry allowed his shoulders to relax slightly. He turned to face Clint and confessed softly "I was afraid you would hate me, if you ever found out."
"Is that why the people you lived with hurt you?" Clint responded just as softly.
Harry just nodded. Clint offed a quiet apology but Harry could see the fire in his blue eyes. They lapsed into a silence that grew more comfortable the longer it stretched. Finally, Clint slapped his thighs lightly and stood up.
"Come on Kiddo. Time to eat," He announced. "I have just the place in mind."
After a very satisfying breakfast of large omelets, home fries, coffee and orange juice the two men were wandering around Central Park.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life Clint," Harry finally confesses quietly. "I don't even know what is open to me. Granted I wouldn't have to work, if I didn't want to, but I do want to. I can't just sit around doing nothing. I would go mad. I just don't know what I can do."
"What are you good at?" Clint asked as he scanned the park with his eyes.
Harry noticed what he was doing immediately and started his own surveillance of the area.
"We looking for something particular?" Harry asked lightly.
Clint looked down at Harry, noticing for the first time that he was following his lead in scanning the area around them. He laughed lightly.
"Sorry, Kiddo, hazard of the job; although it's good to see your training is still sharp."
Harry shot him a look as he appeared to be considering the older man's remark.
"I just got done fighting a war," he reminded quietly. "It's still kind of hard to turn the hypervigilance off, ya know?"
"Yeah," Clint sighed. "I know. It'll get easier, but you never want to completely lose that vigilance. As for what we are looking out for, well, nothing in particular. Just keeping an eye out."
The two men walked in silence for about ten minutes before the older man broke it.
"As for what you should do with your life… Well Bud, you are still really young, not even a legal adult yet. You've got plenty of time. Take some time off, recover a bit, relax. You don't have to find out what you should do with the rest of your life today, or even this month. You've got nothing but time. So when you find something you want to try, try it. If you don't like it, try something else. Don't rush yourself."
Harry nodded along as the older man was talking.
"That sounds like a good plan Clint but what do I do with myself while I'm trying to figure it out? I don't do just sitting around all day. I just… I've never had that luxury before and I'm not sure what to do with it now."
"Harry, you don't have to have all the answers to those questions today. Just have some patience with yourself. I know that's hard and probably not what you want to hear but it's the best thing I can tell you for the time being. You have plenty of time." Clint explained softly.
Harry let out a frustrated huff before agreeing quietly.
"I know you are right but it's hard to not have a plan. Not have a schedule. But most of all an idea of what I'm going to do. I never really thought about it, just where I was going to go. I didn't need to have options available to me for work because money was never an issue. My Dad and Grandfather and however many times great grandfathers saw to that. They were all good with their money and always made sure to put more into the family accounts than they took out. Which was astonishing because some of them were very big spenders. Granted I have investments, which are turning profits for me but I have accountants to manage that. Maybe work on some low income housing projects here in New York. Buy apartment buildings and fix them up so lower income families have a nicer place to live than they usually would. But first I've got to find my own place to live. I don't want to live out of a hotel forever…" Harry trailed off, his cheeks turning a light pink when he saw the look Clint was giving him.
"It sounds like you have more of a plan than you realized," Clint commented lightly as he nudged Harry with his elbow.
"Yeah, I guess I do…"
Harry and Clint made their way back to Harry's hotel room. They settled into the sitting area comfortably. They passed the next several hours just reconnecting with each other. After their lunch was delivered by room service Clint broached a subject he had been thinking of for a little bit.
"I know I said it before but I'd like to introduce you to the team. I would really like you to get to know them."
Harry looked at the older man in surprise. He thought for a moment before he answered slowly.
"I haven't forgotten, and yeah, I'd like to meet the people you are working with these days. Plus I'd love to see Phil again. I haven't heard back from him in a little while. He is usually better about staying in touch…" Harry trailed off at the look on Clint's face.
Harry leaned toward Clint, reached out and grasped his wrist, squeezing lightly. Harry narrowed his eyes, searching his pseudo brother's face, knowing something was wrong but too afraid to speculate. Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly before asking "What's wrong with Phil?"
"Okay Kiddo," Clint answered softly. "Phil died during the invasion. But Director Fury did something, Phil would never tell me what exactly happened, and he was brought back. No one but Phil and I know that I know. Director Fury doesn't even know. Phil reached out to me, knowing that you would find me again some day. The plan was for me to get you in touch with him. I have only spoken to him a few times. Fury has him doing something else for S.H.I.E.L.D. but again, Phil won't tell me any more than that."
Harry sat staring at the older man in shock, as he tried to process what Clint had told him. Harry started to speak but closed his mouth and thought some more.
"Okay, so Phil was dead, but everyone thinks he's still dead, but he's not dead, but only you and Fury know that, but Fury doesn't know you know. Did I get that right? Do you have any idea how screwed up that is?"
"I know," Clint answered softly. "I know."
Harry let out a small laugh. He flopped down next to Clint on the sofa and rubbed his palms over his face briskly. He looked over at the other man and asked plaintively "Where do we go from here?"
"We get you established. We get your life set up here. You start living," he responded.
"You make it sound so easy," Harry whispered.
Clint smiled gently at Harry before answering "I can make it sound easy because I'm not overwhelmed. You are just coming down off, what I would guess was a major battle. I know what a battle like that can do to you, plus you were at war. I've never fought a war. I bet that can really screw a person up. I also know that with time, you're going to be ok. You just need to give yourself some time."
Harry just nodded and they lapsed into a comfortable, comforting silence.
The next morning Harry followed Clint back to Avenger's Tower. They had discussed Harry meeting them over breakfast and Clint had assured him that they would like to meet him. Clint did warn him that they knew nothing about him, just that Clint had worked with a kid at some point before he joined the Avengers. As they entered through the main entrance of the building Harry found himself almost whipping his head back and forth trying to see everything. As soon as he became aware of it he forced himself to stop. He stood up straighter, threw his shoulders back and followed Clint over to what the older man explained was a private elevator.
"Good morning, Sir,"
Harry's head shot up to the ceiling, looking for where the voice came from.
"Hey Jarvis," Clint greeted easily. "This is Harry. Harry this is Jarvis. He is an AI, artificial intelligence. Tony created him years ago and he pretty much runs Tony's life. He also handles a good portion of Stark Industries. The parts that Jarvis doesn't take care of, Pepper does."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry," Jarvis said.
Harry smiled at the small camera in the corner near the ceiling as he said "It's a pleasure to meet you too Jarvis."
Clint led Harry out of the elevator into an open living area. There was currently only one person in the room. It was a redhead sitting on one of the sofas. She rose to her feet when they walked in. She moved like a predator and it immediately had Harry on edge. This was not a woman to mess with lightly. She shot Clint an expectant look.
"Nat," Clint introduced. "This is Harry. I trained and worked with him about a year or so ago."
Harry stood studying the woman as she studied him. He could tell she wasn't happy about something but he wasn't quite sure what. Harry felt Clint tense slightly beside him. Harry chanced a quick glance at him and was slightly concerned at what he saw. Gone was his affable, laidback pseudo big brother. In his place was the serious Agent.
"You never told me he was a kid," the woman said in a cold, hard voice. "In fact you only ever mentioned you trained one person."
"This isn't the place," Clint replied as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"I thought we agreed no secrets. We've been partners a long time Clint. How could you not tell me something like this," Natasha spat.
"We can talk about this later," Clint cut her off coldly. "You need to leave this alone."
Harry glanced back and forth between the two of them. He knew they were angry with each other and that it had something to do with him and his age but beyond that he didn't know what was going on. Or why the woman, Natasha, was so angry.
"If this is a bad time I can leave," Harry offered lightly.
Clint looked over at Harry and his features softened slightly.
"No, you don't have to Kiddo. Let's go see Tony. Jarvis, where is Tony? His workshop?" Clint said briskly as he tugged Harry back into the elevator.
Harry dutifully followed the older man back into the elevator.
"What's going on Clint?" Harry asked softly. "If my being here is going to cause problems…"
"It's not. Don't worry about it."
Harry studied the other man for several long seconds before he nodded his head and settled back against the wall of the elevator. He knew Clint would tell him if he needed to know something. When the elevator next stopped they walked out into an area that housed a long hallway with a few doors. The walls were all glass. Harry could see two different men in two different, huge, rooms.
"We are gonna see Tony first," Clint said, indicating the room to the right.
Clint punched in an eight digit code and the door slid open. The two men were assaulted by loud music.
"Tony!" Clint called over the noise.
A man with dark hair and an average build was bent over a workstation tinkering with something metal. Harry could see a bunch of multicolored wires. The man finally looked up and his eyebrows rose slightly when he caught sight of Harry.
"Who's the stranger?" Tony asked Clint as he cleaned his hands off on a rag.
"Tony, this is Harry. The guy I trained before the invasion. Harry has relocated to New York. I wanted him to meet you guys."
Tony strode forward and extended his hand. Harry shook it uncertainly. He wasn't sure if his magic would affect the arc reactor. He relaxed slightly when nothing happened. Harry shot a look at Clint when he noticed the other man studying him closely.
"Can I help you with something Mr. Stark?" Harry inquired politely.
Tony shook himself lightly.
"Ah, no. Nothing to worry about and call me Tony. Mr. Stark was my father. Have you introduced him to anyone else yet?"
"Just Nat. Gonna stop in and see Bruce then track down Cap if he's in the tower. He'll have to meet Thor when he comes back." Clint returned easily.
"Keep him for dinner. He looks like he needs food." Tony stated before turning back to what he was working on.
Harry looked at Clint, unsure if he should be offended or not. He knew he had lost some weight but he was still in amazing physical condition. Clint just smiled slightly fondly before shaking his head.
"C'mon. Let's go see Bruce for a minute. Then we'll track down Steve."
Clint let Harry into the other lab and introduced him to a kind, unassuming man. They didn't spend any more time with him than they did with Tony, simply because Harry really didn't know what to say and was becoming more uncomfortable as the time passed. As they were in the elevator going back up Clint quickly convinced Harry to stick around to meet Steve.
"He fought a war too Harry. I really think getting to know him could help you. And I think you could help him."
"I don't know if I'm in any condition mentally to help anyone right now Clint. I feel like I'm about to start hexing people."
"You aren't Kiddo. You have more control than that. Steve will be far more low-key than Tony was. Just give him a chance. If you wanna go after that you are more than welcome to. Where is Steve, Jarvis?"
"He is in the training room," the AI answered promptly.
Harry looked at the ceiling, still trying to get used to a disembodied voice seemingly knowing everything that went on in the building.
Clint laughed a bit and told him that if he was around enough he'd get used to it. They entered a huge training area that appeared to take up an entire floor. The area was divided up almost like a gym would be. Right inside the doors was an area set up for all sorts of cardio equipment. Beyond that stood free weights and weight machines. Further back there were mats to practice sparing. Weapons hung on racks scattered around that space.
"Through the doors back there is an archery range. I can practice a bit with my bows. It's set up for guns as well," Clint said softly to Harry before raising his voice to get Steve's attention. "Hey Cap!"
Harry studied the blonde man as he looked up from the heavy bag he was working to find blue eyes assessing him. He stopped his workout and slowly made his way over to them, grabbing a towel along the way to wipe his face off.
"What's up Clint?" He asked when he was close enough.
"I just wanted to bring Harry by and introduce him to you guys… I trained him before I joined the Avengers." Clint replied easily.
Harry nodded at the man and offered his hand. Steve reached out to shake it, studying the young man.
"How old are you?" Steve asked, eyebrows drawn low.
Harry assessed the older man, debating with himself before saying "sixteen."
Steve drew in a sharp breath, eyes widening slightly before turning an almost accusing gaze on Clint.
"Why would you train someone that young?" Steve demanded quietly.
"I swear, Steve, there were reasons." Clint replied before looking quickly at Harry. "Other people had trained him before me. His handlers brought him to SHIELD for more training. I wasn't thrilled with training someone that young but I knew if it wasn't me it would have been another agent."
"What was the training for?" Steve asked, looking between the two men.
Clint looked at the dark haired man next to him. Harry shrugged his shoulders, trusting his friend to do what was best. Clint let out a soft sigh before saying "Why don't you grab a shower and change and we can talk. Join us in my room when you are done."
As they left the room Harry asked Clint how much he was going to tell Steve. The older man told him "I'll leave out the part about magic, I don't want to get you into trouble with your government. I'll have to talk to Fury about how much we can tell them about it. If, of course, in time you even want them to know."
Once they got to Clint's room Harry looked around the spacious area. It was set up almost the same way an open concept flat would be. Right in the door there was a small sitting area with several armchairs set up around a low coffee table. To the right of that there was a small kitchenette with a small dining table and chairs. On the left side of the room there was a bed and two doors. The one door was closed, presumably to a closet. The other was opened and showed part of a nice bathroom.
"Tony wanted us to each have our own space in the tower. He offered me several rooms that he would have had connected but I have an apartment not too far from here as well as a safe house outside the city. I didn't need any more space than this. Thor and Steve both have a few rooms because this is their primary residence. Steve and I both have quarters at Headquarters as well. Have a seat. What do you want to drink?"
Harry made his way over to one of the chairs and dropped gracefully into it. He tiredly rubbed his eyes and rolled his shoulders. The tension still rolling through him, making him feel edgy.
"Harry?"
Harry looked up to find Clint standing in his kitchen looking at him with concern. He shook his head slightly, trying to focus, pushing the echoes of screams ringing in his ears to the back of his mind. He knew he would have to deal with that but now wasn't the time, not when Clint was already starting to look worried about him. Harry smiled, a little strained and replied "Just some water would be great, Clint. Thanks."
"You okay Kiddo?" He asked, still watching him closely.
Harry nodded his head as he responded softly "yeah, just tired and worried about Kingsley. I need to know if he's okay but I don't want to contact him yet in case they are watching him, to find me. I don't know if he planned to go back into the fight or if he was leaving after he got me out. There just wasn't time to ask. There wasn't time to do anything really."
Clint made his way over to Harry as the pitch of his voice started to rise, giving away just how upset he was. Clint settled on the table in front of Harry and took his hands that were balled into fists so tightly blood was starting to seep between the fingers and the tendons were raised, pressing tautly against the pale skin. He gently pried the fingers open, ignoring the small crescent shaped wounds in the palms and stroked his thumbs over the backs, trying to get his little brother to relax. Clint ignored the anger that still rose up in himself as he felt the scars that made up words on the back of the right hand.
"Okay, Kiddo, calm down." Clint instructed quietly. "We will get in touch with Kingsley and find out what is going on. I know it's hard but you are going to have to be patient for a little longer. You're right that they are probably watching him. We will think of something. Try to relax. Come on, like I taught you. Start at your head and start relaxing your muscles. Let go of the tension. You know how to do this."
Harry closed his eyes and worked on relaxing his body. He took several deep breaths and started to feel some of the tension melting away. When memories of the battle started to creep in Harry ruthlessly shoved them into the small box at the back of his mind to deal with later. He knew that that probably wasn't the healthiest thing to do, but it was working currently and that's all he cared about at the moment. When Harry finally opened his eyes it was to see Clint staring at him in concern. He offered a small smile to reassure him that he was ok. Clint was just about to speak when there was a knock on the door. Clint looked torn for a moment before getting up to let Steve in.
Steve could tell he had interrupted something as soon as he stepped into the room.
"If this is a bad time…" Steve started.
"No, it's fine Captain," Harry said with a smile.
Steve slowly came into the room and took the seat Clint gestured him into. Steve turned intense blue eyes onto Harry as he studied him. He opened his mouth but then closed it again without saying anything. He turned his gaze onto Clint then darted back to Harry.
"You have questions Captain, ask them. I can't guarantee I'll answer them all but I'm willing to answer some," Harry invited.
Steve looked at Clint who nodded for him to start.
"That look in your eyes, I've seen it before. On soldiers. At sixteen, why have you seen combat? Your accent is British. You're not from some war torn third world country."
"You've heard of the terrorist attacks that took place over there?" Harry asked.
Steve nodded his head, looking thoughtful.
"I was involved with bringing the organization down. I can't get into why, maybe someday I could, but I can't today. So the Headmaster of my boarding school started training me two years ago. He wanted me to be trained by other people too, not just ones he knew so he reached out to Director Fury. I don't know how Headmaster Dumbledore convinced him to accept me, but he did and he set me up with Clint. Clint trained me. I went on a few missions with them and then I went home. And I took out their leader." Harry explained as he sat perfectly still, no matter how much he wanted to fidget.
"I'm sorry you had to see something like that that young. That isn't right. Why would they make a child fight? Why didn't the adults in your life handle it?" Steve demanded, sitting forward.
Harry shook his head before responding "I can't tell you that. There were reasons but… It's classified."
"Surely you agree with me that it is utterly disgusting for them to make him fight?" Steve demanded turning to Clint.
"Yes, I do agree. However I understood it was going to happen no matter what my thoughts were on the matter so I wanted to give him every advantage I could think of. I am not happy he was used this way but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Fury tried and he couldn't-"
"I didn't know Director Fury tried to stop it," Harry interrupted.
Clint turned his attention from Steve to Harry and his eyes softened.
"Yeah he did Kiddo. He tried to convince Kingsley to help him but they couldn't come up with a plan that would have kept you safe and away from your Headmaster. Plus, he had to be careful or your Headmaster wouldn't have let Kingsley anywhere near you. At least if he was close he could protect you as much as possible. Fury likes you and he respects the skills you have. In fact, in time, I believe he'll try to recruit you himself. That is just my opinion though, he hasn't said anything to me."
The three men sat in silence for several long minutes before Steve cleared his throat. He shifted slightly then met the bright emerald eyes of the kid in front of him.
"If you ever need to talk to someone who can understand what war looks like I will be more than willing to listen. It's a lot for anyone to handle. Talking to someone who can understand can help. I know I don't know you at all really but if you ever want someone to talk to, someone who can understand, feel free to come talk to me. I can't magically make it better, if it was that easy I'm sure Clint would have done it already, but I can listen. You aren't alone in dealing with this. I just want you to know that," Steve instructed intensely.
"Thank you Captain. I will keep that in mind," Harry hesitated before continuing very softly. "I think I'm still in… shock almost. Given some time I'm sure the memories and the feelings will intensify." Harry paused again, struggling with himself. "I'm already seeing some signs of some PTSD. One of my handlers warned me about that and what to watch out for in case I ended up alone. I don't know how bad that's going to get."
"First of all, call me Steve. The big signs are flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia and feeling detached. Those seem to be the big ones. There are ways to cope with each. If you want more information about any of that I can get some for you, or even Clint could. Just let someone know. There is no reason you have to suffer alone. I can't promise we can fix it, a lot of that will come down to you, but you don't have to do it alone."
"Thanks Steve, I'll keep that in mind."
Seeing that Harry had had enough Clint smoothly slid into the conversation, steering it away from heavy topics, giving Harry a chance to relax slightly and get used to Steve. He must have sensed something as well because he flawlessly went along with the change in conversation. Harry listened to the two men talk, they told some humorous stories about their team and some mishaps on a mission or two they had worked together. They passed the next hour talking and laughing, trying to raise the young man's spirit. Just before five Clint turned toward Harry and asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner. Harry debated for a few moments then nodded with a small smile.
"Yeah," he replied. "I think I'd like that."
Author's Note: I want to first and foremost say a huge thank you to my new beta Stars! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and that it was worth the wait. See ya next time!
Lynn