Lying in the bed, staring at Charlie as she slept peacefully beside her, Ruby smiled. Ever since her diagnosis her mother had been on twenty four hour alert. She never relaxed, she always looked worried and stressed. Ruby hardly ever saw Charlie smile anymore. It was like she was afraid to be seen to be happy when her daughter was being slowly killed by a disease seeping through her body. There wasn't really much to be happy about.

But regardless of it all, Ruby wanted Charlie to be happy. She wanted to see her smile. Ruby never expected the disease to have such an effect on the people around her. But it had and that pained her even more than the chemotherapy. Deep down Ruby knew that there was a good chance that she could die much sooner in her life than she would like. And although she hated the thought of it, wanted she wanted more than anything was to make sure that if her time did come, that Charlie knew how much she loved her and that she wanted her to go on and live a happy and full life.

Watching as her mother slept, Ruby cherished the moment with all her heart, because she knew that once Charlie awoke from the peaceful slumber she lay in, that she would instantly snap back into protective mother mode. As Ruby lay there in bed with her head rested against her mothers, she felt Charlie begin to twist and turn as she lowly began to wake. Charlie stretched her arms and then rubbed her eyes, adjusting them to the bright light. She looked beside her and found her daughter was also awake and gently stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I wake you?", Charlie asked as she shifted herself into an upright position.

"No I, I couldn't sleep anyways so I thought I'd read", Ruby lied, pointing to the book on the bedside cabinet.

Charlie nodded and half smiled as she gazed at her daughter. After last night she had expected to find Ruby still fighting nausea but was amazed to find her rather settled in herself on this particular morning. Thinking back to last night, Charlie remembered the fight with Angelo. Even though she would like to actually remain in a relationship for more than a few months and things with Angelo seemed okay, she couldn't help but push him away. Ruby was her number one priority and after last night she knew Angelo wasn't prepared to care for a cancer stricken teenager. As she sat there she could feel her daughter's eyes gazing at her.

"Charlz, about that fight you and Angelo had last night that wasn't because of me was it?", Ruby asked.

"No,of course not......", Charlie was cut off as Ruby sensed that she was lying to spare her feelings.

"Charlie, you don't have to lie, just tell me the truth", Ruby said as she reached for her mother's hand.

"Angelo wanted us to get a place together. He wanted to help take care of you", Charlie said running her fingers through her hair.

"And that irritated you how exactly?", Ruby asked confused.

"Because it was Angelo being Angelo. Making big gestures thinking it will make things better. Only he got a wake up call when he saw you yesterday. I think the idea of taking care of you seemed like a good idea because he wanted to please me. Instead he saw what being responsible full time actually meant", Charlie finished.

Ruby nodded. She could understand where Charlie was coming from. Angelo had a thing for acting on impulse and then thinking things through afterwards. It usually got him in more trouble than he anticipated. But at the same time, she wanted Charlie to forgive him. If anything happened to her, she didn't want Charlie to wallow in misery like she usually would and end up lonely. However she didn't want to challenge Charlie because she knew when it came to Angelo, things were better left to sort themselves out.

"Charlie, what were you and Dr. Paker talking about the other day?", Ruby asked.

Charlie flinched. She didnt' know what to say. She knew she had to tell Ruby about the converstation she had had but she was hoping to put it off until she had managed to get her own head around it. Especially the part about having to talk to Tracy. Looking at Ruby, she knew by the expression on her face that she wasn't going to let up on this. She had to bite tha bullet. No matter how much it hurt her to.

"Rubz, Dr. Parker says that it looks like you'll be needing a bone marrow transplant soon. The thing is they say that he most likely match for you is a.......a sibling", Charlie managed to get.

"Grants kids", Ruby said, knowing instantly where Charlie was going with this. Saying her biological fathers name made her feel more nauseous than the chemo.

Charlie nodded looking at her daughter. Then she bowed her head and let out the tears that had been threatening to fall since they had started this talk. She leaned back her head an looked up to the heavens, wiping away the tears in her cheeks. She reached down and cupped Ruby's hands in her own and searched for the words she wanted to say. Instead she chose, for once, to be honest with her daughter

"I know what I have to do Rubz.....I just don't know how to do it", Charlie as she began to sob uncontrollably.

"Shhhh....", Ruby said trying to sooth her mother.

"NO...no, I'm your mother. I should be able to do this", Charlie said almost in shouting the words as she spoke. "I can't lose you....you're my baby....I can't lose you....".

With that Charlie finally broke down and fell into the embrace of her daughter. Allowing her tears to fall freely for the first time in months. As she did so Ruby wrapped her arms around her mother and held her tightly. For the first time since her diagnosis, she got a real sense of just how scared Charlie really was of losing her and it broke her heart. As they sat there, Ruby let a tear fall down her cheek as she cilently contemplated what the future would hold. And a feeling of darkness overcame her, unnerving her the more she dare to think about it.