Before you read this, you must learn Sarrel's three things to do if a fire is out of control.

1 Try rolling in the fire to smother it.

2 Gasoline, like water, will drown a fire.

3 gunpowder will work like sand and smother the fire too.

Try these at home if you don't believe me. (really try it, and videotape it, and send me the video tape. If the camera survives the um... just send me the tape.)

This is Sarrel's First chapter in the everything parody. Also known as chapter three. I think you will find me all around destr- I mean delightful and violen- violet. I'm purple. I AM A PURPLE COW. Learn Sarrel's three ways to put out a fire!! Anyway, onto Sarrel's chapter.

Deathtail, was incredibly bored. He sat on a rock and stared at natures beauty. It made him want to whack someone on the head with a mallet. Some nearby grasses rustled and out popped Violetscar. He wasn't surprised to see her. He wished he had a mallet.

"Violetscar, is it Monday still? I'm really bored, and only Mondays make me this bored..."

"Actually Deathtail, it's Tuesday."

He hopped up and grinned maniacally.

"Really?"

"Um... yes..."

"Reeeeeaaaaallly?"

"Yeah..."

"Reeee"

"Shut. Up. Deathtail."

"Okay. Violetscar?"

"Yes?"



"Are you deputy?"

"Yes, Deathtail." She sounded rather exasperated at this point.

"Do you know what happens on Tuesdays?"

"What?"

Deathtail looked incredibly happy when he walked into camp. One would think that moving from boredom to happiness would always make one's face look better. Deathtail would certainly prove that one wrong. And whack them on the head with a mallet. His face was incredibly horrible. In that, I know something (really bad) you don't know! kind of way. At this point the leader, Fluffystar, walked up to talk to him.

"Deathtail, have you seen Violetscar?"

"Nope"

"You sure?"

"Yep. What makes you think I have?"

"Because it's Tuesday, you look happy, and everyone else is accounted for."

"I want my lawyer!"

"A two-leg?"

"Why does it have to be a two-leg? Are you calling cats Dumb, you know you're a cat, right? Masochistic freak!"

"I don't really understand a word you just said. And anyway, cats can't be lawyers because they can't carry suitcases, and can't wear those suits that lawyers do. They don't come with a hole in the butt for a tail."

"Lawyers could all be manx!", shouted a passing cat.

They both turned on him.

"Racist creep!" Shouted Fluffystar.

"Are you calling other cats dumb?" screamed Deathtail.

"GET HIM!! They shouted together!"



And together, they dragged him off and threw him off a cliff. Surprisingly he survived, with minimal amnesia, and went on to write a weight loss book. It made millions. And then he got sued for plagiarism and lost it all. Then he wrote a book about THAT and sold it. It made millions too, this time he didn't get sued, and he lived happily ever after. With tuna and shrimp.

"So what were we talking about?" said Fluffystar.

"Can I be deputy?"

"Ok, you're deputy now."

"Cool! Is it still Tuesday?"

"Um... Yeah..."

"Can we go talk about something in Private?"

"Fellow cats of Couchclan, Fluffystar, died. An invisible cat killed her. So I am now drumroll Deathstar of Couchclan!!"

(At this point Hawkfrost falls from the sky with cinnamon buns stuck to the sides of his head and runs around screaming,"Obi Wan Kenobi, You're my only Hoooooooooooooope!!")

Fire- Well that was Sarrel's chapter, we would like to sugest you don't do anything she tells you to.

Oreos for Glitterpaw Of ThunderClan and ColdAsTheMoon-Itomi! Thanks for reviewing!