Author's Note: I said this story wouldn't change based on this week's episode and it doesn't. However, in this week's episode they mention that Angela is visiting her sister. I took that and, well, you'll see how I incorporated it. Your reviews have truly made my week. Thank you all. To answer one question in the comments, the title is "Four" partly because of the episode being the fourth of the fourth season. Also, this is the final chapter—four. It was my way of getting around having to give this story a real title. Like Jane and Maura not being able to put a label on their relationship, I can't put a label on stories. Oh, and bonus points to the reader who can identify where I got the idea for the first part of this piece. -dkc
Chapter 4
Jane took Maura's hands in hers and looked lovingly at this woman who meant the world to her. Her voice cracked as she attempted the question again.
"What do you want?"
Maura tilted her head down, glimpsing their clenched hands. When her eyes returned to Jane's there was certitude in those hazel eyes that accompanied her answer.
"You."
…
There were tears welling up in Jane's eyes as she held Maura's hands and attempted to process what Maura was telling her. This admission, their admission, was something Jane had imagined but convinced herself would always be just fantasy.
"Maura…" Jane drawled.
Jane couldn't find words. She felt as if she was in a dream that she couldn't control, her life moving along without her input. As the detective struggled for words, the doctor over thought what Jane might be about to say.
"Listen to me. To be clear, I'm letting you off the hook, Jane. You're off the hook. If finding Hope and learning who my father is have taught me anything, it is that we don't always get to choose the people in our lives, but when we do have a choice, we have to get it right. I am determined to be happy, Jane, happy in this life. I am determined to love with everything I have. And I love you. I have always, always loved you. At times, this, this love for you, is all I've had."
The eye contact between the two women was never broken. Tears streamed down Jane's face, something Maura couldn't read. She didn't want to misinterpret what those tears meant.
"Maura, I…" Jane's voice cracked.
"Hold on," Maura stopped her. "I'm not done. My want for you is for you to be happy. I want that more than anything I want for myself. Your relationship with Casey made me realize that I want you to be with someone, whether him or some man you haven't even met yet. I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel the way I feel when I'm with you. My point is that being in love with you is enough for me. You're off the hook."
The doctor dropped her hands to her lap and her eyes followed them. There was both defeat and relief in her tenor. Telling Jane that she loved her was a big step for the emotionally isolated doctor.
"Guess what?" Jane's hand titled Maura's chin up so she could look into her eyes. "I don't want to be let off the hook."
"Jane…" Maura's tone was similar to that of when she was behind bars—broken. "Please don't miss my point. I am okay with this."
"And don't miss mine, Maura. I love you. You know that. I would do anything for you. That is very real, even more so since I realized I would obstruct justice without a second thought for you. It is so real that it has kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready to embrace or admit it. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's okay to keep running."
Now tears streamed from Maura's eyes as she looked at her best friend in the world and the woman that she loved. Her worry and fear was unjustified. Slowly Jane's lips met hers. The kiss was as soft and gentle as their first kiss, but it quickly became sensual, passionate and needy. Maura, at her full height, wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and pressed her body against the detective's. Their bodies were like two puzzle pieces designed to fit precisely together, belonging together for the bigger picture to work. As they broke for air, Maura realized how hopelessly her body needed this contact.
"Jane, I want you to take me upstairs," Maura whispered. "But I don't want the first time we make love to always remind me, us, of my arrest and the horrific last two days."
"I completely understand," Jane pulled Maura tight against her slim frame.
"Could we just lie down? You and me?" Maura requested.
"Yes."
Maura led the way to her bedroom where the two women settled comfortably on the bed. Jane's arms held Maura against her. Holding Maura gave Jane the chance to feel Maura's backside against the places she hoped they could explore soon. She smiled at the thought. Of all the things to happen after a night out at a charity event, life had truly been a whirlwind.
"How do I face your mother, Jane?" Maura hummed, the seriousness in her voice breaking Jane's heart.
"You don't have to do anything until you are ready."
"She lives in my guesthouse. I can't avoid it," Maura interlinked her fingers with Jane's closest hand.
"Ma has been wanting to visit my aunt for awhile now. I could suggest that she go sooner rather than later. That would give you some time," Jane kissed the top of Maura's head and rested her chin where her lips had just been.
"Is that too much to ask of her?" Maura bit her lip in worry.
"Oh, sweetie. Given what she did, if you asked her to jump off a cliff, that wouldn't be too much to ask."
"Will we be able to fix this?" Maura's voice cracked with emotion.
"You are a saint. You have forgiven me for far worse than what Ma did. I have no doubt that it can be fixed and I am going to be next to you every step of the way."
Maura turned her head and shifted in Jane's arms until their faces were just an inch apart. Jane offered Maura a slight smile, hope behind it.
"There are few things in my life I would have been able to face without you by my side. You being by my side, offering a gentle nudge and a hand to hold is something I have always had faith in," Maura whispered before pressing her lips to the brunette's.
"The great Dr. Isles has faith in something other than the scientific method?" Jane teased, though she was touched by what Maura had said.
"You, Jane. I have faith in you."
With that, Jane tightened her arms around Maura and reveled in the feeling. Her heart was full.
-finis-