For disclaimer, return to chapter one and read the introduction.
And we're back again to second person pronoun.
It just seemed that through the course of writing I fell in love with this style.

Only For A Night
(Part I of the Phoenix Series)

A CSI Fanfiction

Chapter IV

by Dragodina

~ Ó ~

I'll dance myself up,
Drunk myself down.

Find people to love,
Love people too drunk.

I'm not scared to jump,
I'm not scared to fall.

If there was nowhere to land,
I wouldn't be scared at all …

~ Ó ~

Low noises reached your ears and bright light that stirred your eye lids caught your attention and brought you out of your heavy sleep. As you slowly came to your senses, you felt a slight feeling of queasiness welling up deep down inside your stomach. As much as you tried to ignore the sickness or the throbbing headache, it was way too intense to be simply suppressed. But still, you were sure that there was nothing that could come up the wrong way. You swallowed for some relief, but your burning dry throat protested what resulted into a coughing fit.

Frowning, all combined sensations hit you like a tidal wave. Overwhelmed by the impact you flinched, grasping material that felt like a pillow or mattress in sheer agony.

Not daring to open your eyes yet or to move in the slightest way, you relied only on your sharpened wits, the only thing you could rely on right at the moment. The noises that had woken you, had disappeared and you were left in complete silence. A silence that made you feel somehow awkward. Still, for your hangover symptoms, it was pure gold.

Despite the warmth provided by the light, your body felt like a stranger to yourself, your weak limbs were not obeying to any orders your messed up brain sent, and the drumming migraine further intensified its pounding rhythm against your skull without you doing anything at all.

You knew better than to just bolt up and open your eyes in order to keep the headache and sickness at bay, for now.

Again, not feeling motivated to get up in the slightest, you tried to ignore all of it. Instead you attempted to rather concentrate on your surroundings.

You felt a layer of dried but still sticky sweet coating your skin, felt the goosebumps all over your bare arms, your shoulders and your back. You felt the soft cushion your head was so proudly resting on, felt the comfortable mattress you were lying on, felt the sheets that lay loosely over your body, covering you only from your waist down. For a brief moment, you snuggled deeper into the cushion, relaxed, inhaled deeply and felt at ease.

Until you noticed the difference smell of the material and realized that this was definitely not your bed …

Only another second later your eyes shot wide open and you sat up straight promptly.

In turn, a warning burp escaped your raspy throat as your head started to spin instantly and your headache grew stronger by the unexpected quick motion. You felt the urge to throttle that idiot that pounded away with a jackhammer in the other apartment, only to realize it was just your headache tormenting you. The moment you had opened your eyes, you were disorientated. Your stomach was in a state as if you had just rode a roller coaster fifteen consecutive times and your mind felt like you haven't slept in weeks.

But the racing thoughts that had suddenly entered your lame brain let you forget about your pounding head and nausea and instead made you panic.

Where the fuck were you?
Which bed were you lying in?

Well, at least you were actually lying in a bed and not on some basement floor. Something you should be grateful for. Whatever condition you had been in, whatever had happened, you were able to make it to bed … any bed that was.

Sitting there propped up, staring ahead with squinted eyes hoping to ease the headache and finally fix a point that wasn't spinning in front of your vision, the sheet slipped further down, now covering only your waistline and inner thighs. Noticing the fresh breeze that hit your exposed skin nerves, you looked down the length of your own body, only to recognize your fully naked state. Another consideration crossed your mind and left you terrified …

Fuck! Why were you naked?
What had happened last night?

Fearfully you let your eyes wander around hastily, grasping the bed sheet up to your chest in hope to cover yourself in case somebody else was with you, even watching you.

But as your eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light, you noticed with great relief that you were alone.

The room as well as its furniture was simple, the walls painted in traditional pale ochre which made it welcoming and provided a natural warmth, the bed being the centre of it. Across from you sat a TV on a cabinet. Right beside it was a wardrobe, a desk and chair. Fixing the solitary seat, you had forgotten that not long ago it had been occupied, that you had been watched. To the left of the cabinet was an open door that led into a small bath room. Opposite the main door was a small open kitchenette with a dinning table and two more chairs. To your right was a big window curtained and a door that led out onto a small balcony.

You let your head drop down into your hands and breathed a sigh of relief.

Trying to catch all the running thoughts in your mind and fish out the most important ones, you forced yourself to stay calm and control your raged breathing in order to compose yourself. Even with the still pounding headache, you remembered leaving the LVPD garage in sheer frustration, turning up in some kind of bar outside of Las Vegas. You recalled getting drunk – heavily drunk. There was beer involved … and whiskey … apparently a lot of both.

Suddenly the flashbacks changed, unfamiliar faces appeared and slipped by. Faces and features you couldn't place or put a name to.

There was this charming bartender … then an annoying student … a horde of horny truckers …

Panic settled down in your heart and abdomen for only a brief second by the gruesome thought that you might have had sex with one of those men, especially with one of the truck drivers. The fear deepened as you even thought about another possibility …

Have you been raped?

You couldn't stop the overpowering vomit to escape your lips. Instinctively you brought your hands up in order to cover your mouth. Luckily, it was nothing more than saliva, your digestion had already done its service long ago. Still, you were left in a heavy coughing fit which took several minutes to bring under control.

There were so many blanks. Holes that needed to be filled. Answers to be found, or else you would go insane then and there.

Before your mind could further settle on the horrible possibility, another face appeared in your vision. A memory that struck you intensely, involving a beautiful yet mysterious brunette woman with her shrewd crystal eyes that had totally taken your mind and body over. Recalling the young womans features, you felt like you calmed mentally. Somehow, only the thought of her made you feel safe.

You tried to concentrate on her face, sensing that she would be the defining flame to finally enlighten your dark blanks.

Your eyes started wandering again and strangely enough they settled on the door that let outside. Flashbacks filled your vision that reminded you how you had entered this room in her company.

Drifting deeper in your memories, the very first thing you recalled was her striking but beautiful ice-blue eyes and the impression that those orbs hold. You visualized her long elegantly curved brown hair, the small lanky yet powerful figure. You felt her soft but rough skin underneath your fingertips, felt that pattern on her shoulder …

Intuitively, your hands wandered up to your mouth, your fingers tenderly tracing your still slightly swollen lips, remembering her soft counterparts pressing against them, kissing you passionately.

Piece by piece returned and you remembered stating an unmistakable offer. One that was totally against your nature. One she had agreed on.

That hadn't just been a dream, had it? Because it felt far too real to be only an imagination!

A mild stinging on your back and shoulders caught your attention and turning your torso around halfway you spotted the fresh red scratches in the reflection of the television.

She had marked you. Even more, she had kept her promise. She had made you feel alive. In those few hours together she had made you forget about every shit thing in your life and instead showed you how to feel loved and cared for.

But still, now that you woke up alone, you tasted the bittersweet consequence. You felt empty again. Empty and lonesome.

A feeling you had lived with for a long time now. It had become a familiar companion, yet you feared that you would get used to it.

Somehow you had wished that she could end it, your loneliness. But still, you had an agreement. What had happened, it was only for a night. You were left with memories. Left to forget about your emotions, sensations. Left to be alone. You wondered if that was your final destiny.

Honestly, if your mother would knew what you had done that night, she would disown you instantly, without any regret.

Which lead you to a question for your own:
Did you regret the night? Did you regret your decision?
Well, in some way, you felt ashamed. Ashamed about the fact that you had broken with your usual morals. That you just had your very first one-night stand.
But did you feel regret after all?
No, you didn't. There was a slight feeling of mourn, yes. Although now it felt like you were the prisoner who had made a jailbreak but was captured and looked back in his cell, you were glad for the swift experience.

Having the knowledge that you could hide the next four days in here, you laid back down on the bed and closed your eyes again. As the exhaustion took over your tired mind, deep down in your heart you hoped and wished that maybe a single old saying would come true:

You always meet twice.

~ Ó ~

Sometimes I wish for falling,
Wish for the release.

Wish for falling through the air,
To give me some relief.

Because falling's not the problem,
When I'm falling I'm in peace.

It's only when I hit the ground,
It causes all the grief.

(Florence & The Machine ~ "Falling")

Hope you enjoyed reading and might have been inspired to write a short review ;)
Again, this was the last chapter. I thank you readers for your interest.
For now, stay safe and take care!
Lovely greetings,
Dragodina