Chapter 4

Jane looked around Maura's house again, kind of cold without her jacket on. She smiled at Maura, who clearly seemed to be feeling a bit awkward. Maura battled through, though. She ignored her racing heart and moved to stand right by Jane.

"Would you like to use my tub?" Maura asked. "You can tell me what I need to get ready, and I'll do that while you have a bath."

"Are you sure?" Jane asked. Maura chuckled.

"Positive."

Jane smiled again. She was here, she was doing this, she was allowing herself to be given this night. She might as well enjoy it as fully as she could.

"Junk food. Pyjamas. Girly movies. Alcohol. Do you have a TV in your bedroom?"

Maura shook her head.

"Laptop, then."

Maura chuckled. "You really do know exactly how to do these things."

Jane made a face. "My mother used to love planning parties."

Maura smiled. "It's nice. I mean, it sounds nice. I've never done anything like it. Hold on."

She left the room and collected a pair of clean pyjamas from her room. She took a clean towel from the linen closet, then went back into her own closet to get a cardigan for Jane as well. She brought the little pile of things back into the main room and handed it to Jane, who had been admiring... everything.

"Thanks," Jane said, brushing Maura's hand as she accepted the things. Brushing Maura's hand on purpose.

Because she just couldn't shake the feeling that this was too good to be true. She couldn't fathom why someone like Maura, with Maura's life, could possibly care about her, unless they actually just wanted her in the same way everyone else did. And while she didn't doubt Maura's honesty and honest intentions, she was good at reading subconscious. And Maura's subconscious was confused, at the very least.

She was never going to ask. She was always going to be kind. But in a way, Jane wanted to repay her for the kindness. Jane wanted to give Maura what she wanted, even if Maura was too nice to ask. And Jane didn't really have anything else to give. She was broken, hurting, lost... She didn't think she really had much personality left; she was sure she would be a terrible friend. But sex, sex she could do. She knew how to make people feel wonderful. True, she had never done it for a woman before. But she didn't think pleasing Maura would be harder than pleasing a man; in fact, she thought it would be easier. Maura's body was like hers, it would respond to the same things she did.

And Jane thought she might actually like it too. She raised her eyebrows at herself when she thought this. She was in the bathroom now, locked in, but... She was in Maura's hot tub. And Maura had been in it just an hour ago, and she couldn't help but think about Maura and her kindness, and her smile and her dimple and her elegant body and her shining eyes and...

Maura changed into her usual silk pyjamas and looked in her kitchen for food. She felt like an excited little girl. An excited little girl who was allowed to drink wine. She got out the bottle she'd been drinking earlier, and another one too. She picked up the packet of cookies, and an unopened packet of chips. That was all the junk food she really had, apart from some 80% chocolate made with special cocoa beans that her mother had sent her, and that didn't really count.

She plugged in her laptop and looked through her meagre collection of DVDs. She didn't watch movies much more than she ate junk food. She lay back on her bed. They could always get something from iTunes if they wanted to.

If she stayed very still, she could hear Jane in the tub; the gentle sloshing of the water. She smiled. She was proud of herself, very glad she'd been able to get Jane here, find out Jane's name, see a little of the real person... And Jane would be safe here. For one night at least, she could stop bad things from happening to that woman, that woman who wasn't really so different from her.

It wasn't much. But it was much more personal than the thousands of dollars she donated to charity each year. This was somehow close to her heart. And it wasn't all about pity. In fact, it wasn't much about pity at all. She... She didn't want bad things to happen to Jane. But she wasn't naïve enough to think she could change Jane's life. In a way, she just wanted to do something different. It was quite selfish. The fact that she was being nice was almost irrelevant.

Her mind wandered back to when Jane had been in her car and had scooted up her skirt to show off more of the legs that Maura had been admiring. Maura furrowed her brow as she thought. She had been looking, she couldn't deny it. And when she had been looking, and when she had been looking again just now when Jane took her jacket off... She confessed to herself that she had very much liked what she had seen.

So perhaps that was it after all. Perhaps she had only brought Jane back here because she did want to be serviced in the way Jane serviced all her other customers. Maura had never paid for sex. She had actually been paid for sex once. Sort of. In college. Lines were fuzzier in college. But if she... Jane wouldn't do it, anyway. And Maura didn't want to pay her for it.

But you would do it if she wanted to and you weren't paying her.

Maura groaned. She hated her mind sometimes. But it was probably true. She was quite adventurous in the bedroom, but she had never been with another woman, at least, she had only done it when she felt very little, and there was a man present too, a man who had been the whole reason behind the endeavour. She didn't need to get hung up on her 'sexuality', she was enough of a scientist about it to recognise that people were just attracted to other people, it was something chemical, and sometimes those people were of the opposite sex, but there was nothing to say that a person would never be attracted to someone of the same sex, even if that person thought of themselves as 'straight'.

Jane wasn't the first woman she had found attractive. But this was the first time she'd acted on her attraction. If what she was doing could be called acting on it.

She heard the bathroom door open and went back to the living room. She smiled at the sight of Jane in her pyjamas. Without the make up and clothes, Jane really wasn't that different from Maura. Their looks were different, of course, but now they were dressed similarly, there really wasn't much to separate them.

"That thing is amazing," Jane said.

"It's one of my favourite things about this house," Maura admitted.

"What are the other competitors?" Jane asked. Maura chuckled.

"My bed. The yoga room-"

"You have a room for yoga?"

"Yoga is very relaxing and healthy. Have you ever tried it?"

"Nope. And I sucked at standing on one leg in sports at school."

Maura laughed. "Yoga isn't about standing on one leg. It's about finding inner peace-"

"And that's why they invented valium."

"Diazepam?"

"What's diaze... what?"

Maura sighed. "It's valium. Never mind. And it's bad for you."

"I know. I was joking. Come on. Slumber party time."

Maura smiled. "I found wine."

Jane laughed. "You say that as if you didn't know where it was, and finding it is some kind of achievement."

"Stop making fun of me or I won't give you any."

"You're very silly, Maura."

Maura chuckled as she led Jane to her room. She sat down on the bed and waited for Jane to do the same, then poured her a glass of wine. The chips, cookies, and laptop were between them on the bed. Jane grinned.

"You took my preparation instructions seriously. So. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. You're the one teaching me."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay... uhm... well sleepovers usually end up being kind of a confession marathon. You tell each other your crushes, your worries and stuff. Usually little girls swoon over Zac Efron and complain about their parents. Any comments there?"

Maura made a face. "I guess I could complain about my parents. But I'm not nearly drunk enough to talk about that kind of thing with a stranger."

Jane rolled her shoulders and sipped her wine.

"That's one of the things I'm supposed to be good at. Listening, taking your side, being sympathetic even though I don't really know you."

"Does that happen a lot? People talking to you, I mean?"

Jane laughed. "Oh yeah... I probably learn more secrets than priests do in confession."

"Do people ever tell you bad things?"

"Apart from the obvious 'I never do this, I'm married, I love my wife'?"

Maura chuckled. "Yes, okay, apart from that."

"Sure. People come to my part of town when they're drunk, when they're miserable, when they need affirmation, or a night where they can forget everything, drown their sorrows in pleasure. Things like that. So quite often the men I'm with admit to things."

"Do you ever wish you didn't get told things?"

"No, I mean, once or twice, but usually I find it quite interesting. I don't mind talking about this, it's actually kind of entertaining watching your face, but if I didn't know better I'd say you're doing some kind of study on hookers."

Maura grinned. "That would have been a good excuse, actually. But no. I'm not. I'm interested, though. It's... not like anything I know about."

"Well, it wouldn't be. Anything else you want to know?"

"How old were you when you started?"

"Twenty-two."

"And why did you start?"

"Not answering that one." Jane didn't let her discomfort show; she refused in a calm, kind way, jusr firm enough to tell Maura not to push, but just relaxed enough to suggest that there was no terrible secret she was hiding. Actually, the second suggestion was entirely down to her good acting skills, but if Maura suspected anything, she didn't mention it.

"Do you have a pimp?"

"Yes. Sort of. It's almost like having a licence; I don't know of anyone who, like, freelances."

"And..."

"What?"

"It's the obvious question. I know it's not my place to ask it. But... would you stop, if you could."

"I can't," Jane answered simply.

"But if something happened. I don't know what, but something."

"I don't have enough imagination for that. And it's not good to think about. There's no way out for me, I'll be doing this until I'm too old, and then... Then I... Well, I haven't really worried about it because I don't think I'll get that old."

Maura frowned. "You shouldn't say things like that."

"It's better for me to be happy with the truth than wasting away wishing for something that'll never happen."

Maura sighed. "I suppose so. Look, I didn't mean to pull a pretty woman on you, that's not why you're here at all... But if I did offer-"

"I would say no, because you don't know what you're offering, you don't know me, you're confused enough as it is, and I'm not going to complicate things for you."

"I'd like to do something nice for you."

"You already are. I'm warmer and more comfortable than I've been in months. But this is just one night, Maura, and it can't be more than that."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't get used to it. That would just make things harder."

Maura had a brainwave. "Do you have regulars?"

"Like people I have a kind of arrangement with? I've had one or two in the past."

"So you could be a regular for me?"

"A platonic regular that I have slumber parties with during which I discuss my profession and drink your expensive wine?"

"And you'd get to use my tub. Every week."

Jane couldn't help being tempted.

"Why would you want that?"

"Because... I want to be your friend," Maura said finally. Jane let out a loud laugh.

"My friend?"

"Why is that funny?"

Jane bit her lip. "It's not, really. But Maura, we can't be friends. We live in completely different worlds."

"So?"

"So, it just... Why would you want to be my friend?"

"I like you. You're interesting. Do you like me?"

"Of course."

"Be honest. I won't be hurt, and I'll still pay you."

Jane smiled and took Maura's hand; the blonde was beginning to look rather miserable. "Maura, I like you. Honestly. You're very sweet. I just don't know why you'd want to be my friend."

"But you like me?"

"Yes. I just said so."

"Then why shouldn't you agree to my... offer."

"When would it be?"

"Friday night?"

"That's the busiest night..."

"I'll pay. I have money, it's not an issue."

"Maura, you can't pay me to be your friend."

"No. But I can pay you to be here, and maybe you'll become my friend."

"This is ludicrous. It's like a gay, Boston, slower moving version of Pretty Woman."

"No it isn't. You're far more beautiful than Julia Roberts."

Jane grinned. "And you're way sexier than Richard Gere. Oh, fine. We can give it a go. But... You still have all of tonight to change your mind, and I really wouldn't blame you. And you should know that I'm only agreeing because of the hot tub."

"Duly noted. Cookie?" Maura offered, grinning back.

A/N: Thanks for reading and for all the response! Love you. If you want to find me and talk to me I'm zanna_sk on twitter so you can share your thoughts with me there, or with a message or review - I'm always interested to hear them. Take care xxx