Hollows hunger.
They are empty and only feel with their baser emotions, instincts. They knew hate. They were, in many ways, the castoffs of a great society. They were evil in a sense, they were black and the shinigami were white. But that was in a perfect world where the hero always win and the villain's personality was flatter than paper.
The reality was that hollows did hate, did feel anger, did relish in blood and souls. That was their nature, it was who they were, who they will always be. Humans are the same way as well. They have a beast inside, supposedly tamed by civilization. But humans had the better deal. They could fee love, they could feel joy and hope.
Hollows know of despair. They know how to give despair but they don't know how to get rid of it.
The Espada knew despair, knew slavery, knew to despise weakness. The hard climb to the top was wrought with blood and guts. It pained the Espada to know their evolution was due to a shinigami, a traitorous shinigami, but still a shinigami.
Now as arrancar, they knew more. Like new born children, they discover and find new things. Some good some bad.
Indigestion, they did not know.
Most hollows are edible and hollows are cannibalistic, they eat their own kind. They also eat souls. So, it puzzled all of the Espada why, Zommari, the judge, was in the bathroom for so long.
"Hey, are you still in there?" Shouted Nnoitra, banging on the door. "You still have the judge the rest of the food."
A loud gurgling sound traveled through the room as did a pungent smell. All those within sniffing distance gagged.
"I told you, we should've saved Orihime's cooking for last." Stated Ulquiorra, safe behind his gas mask. His voice was slightly muffled.
Orihime, was pacing around, worried for Zommari. She too had a gas mask, Ulquiorra insisted, and was puzzled in why she had it on. Again, Ulquiorra insisted.
This whole stinky mess started on a Tuesday. It was always a Tuesday. Even though you can't really tell time in Hueco Muendo, all the problems start on Tuesdays.
It was a boring day and Grimmjow had complained for the umpteenth time about how unappetizing the food was. Arrancar don't need to eat food but it was a way to get through the day without fighting.
Orihime, she was invited, proposed a solution. It went something like this.
"How about we have a cooking contest?"
There was silence. Then a clamor of voices.
"Cooking?" That was Yammi.
"Is there a prize?" Grimmjow, surprisingly without a cuss word.
"Who's going to judge?" Szayel, the logical one, more so than Ulquiorra at times.
"Will Aizen-sama allow this?" Ulquiorra was not one to be beaten in logic.
After some more clamoring, Stark, surprisingly awake, spoke. "Ulquiorra, go ask Aizen-sama for permission. Szayel, prep the kitchens, Zommari you're the judge."
Zommari raised an eyebrow, closed his eyes in a meditative way and nodded. Stark directed the rest of the Espada to do their tasks.
When it was over, everything was set and prepared. There was food, a huge place to cook and the rest of the arrancar were watching with amused faces. Before each Espada was a dish they made. How they knew how to make such dishes was a mystery.
Zommari walked towards the first cook, Orihime. Her plate was curry with rice. It looked normal from her usual food and smelled nice. He tasted her food, turned five different shades of green and sonido'd to the nearest bathroom.
Everyone else stared.
"What the fuck?" Asked Grimmjow eloquently.
And that is why they are in the current situation now.
"What exactly did you put in the food Orihime?" Asked Szayel, pushing his glasses up.
"Tabasco sauce, curry, lemon, salt, peper, beef, rice, celery, spinach, onions, sugar, vinegar, starch and…" She frowned, "I also put in chocolate, wheat, corn, laxatives and this funny green sauce that tasted tangy."
Szayel blanched. "Green sauce? In a small jar?"
Orihime nodded.
Szayel started to bang his head against the wall muttering something about the Philosopher's Stone and all the effort and all the work it took and how it was all lost. He started to cry.
While the Espada were trying to hold their breath in from the smell and anguish of a certain Espada, Gin came in and sampled Orihime's food.
"Yum." He continued to eat it, oblivious to some wandering shocked stares. He would later regret it when he stayed in the bathroom for more than three hours.
It was unknown whether it was Orihime's cooking or the weird green stuff that she put in her food that gave Zommari indigestion. No one wanted to find out.
It was definitely a Tuesday.
KKKKK
Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!
Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Should I expand on the cooking contest? Make a cooking contest part 2 without Orihime cooking?