Chapter Three: Levi
–Year 848 –
"Get up."
His voice was cold and emotionless, towering over me as I laid on the earth beneath, my elbows and palms stung with cuts. It was no use; The two years of gap from using the 3DMG had seemingly crippled my previously acquired ability to manoeuvre with the gear that was strapped around my hip. I have tried over a dozen times now and have yet been able to keep myself from falling to the ground.
"Have your failures impaired your hearing? Up, I said. I've never given you the permission to take a break." Harshness continued to tinge Levi's every word, lingering in the air as tension thickened. "When Erwin said you've used the equipment since the age of seven, I've never expected your performance to be this pathetic." He scoffed.
And in reaction, the fist in my hand tightened and my knuckles whitened. "What's the use of this? Going out of your way, putting me up in disguise just to swing around the forest like it would make a difference?!" Through gritted teeth the defence mechanism kicked in as I retaliated, my body springing up from the spot as my head tilted slightly to meet his eyes.
But deep inside, I knew he was right. Since a young age, I've played around with the equipment out of a child's curiosity, as though it was my version of a playground. As a kid, my unauthorised use of the gear was clearly overlooked by the higher ups, and with the relationships my parents had with their comrades – I was given a version of it at the age of ten. It was a birthday gift, and an investment in exchange with the hopes that I would continue their legacy when I'm of age. The blades were replaced with those made of wood and I was 'trained'. Of course, that was just for leisure, like a favourite pastime.
At that time it was my imaginary battleground and everything was just a sort of game to me, and so was it to others. That was until the year after. Suddenly, everything changed. The atmosphere when we had our 'training' sessions turned into a serious affair, and instead of being able to swing around in the training grounds of the military, we were hidden behind trees in a nearby village.
I never understood why, and I was never allowed to probe or tell anyone. It began with the perfecting on usage of gear, to basic use of blades, and finally, hand-to-hand combat.
Now, everything I did through the strenuous trainings for the years before their disappearance was gone with my parents.
"I am not going to be your babysitter." Levi's voice broke my thoughts, expression remained dead-panned as he stated in a tone of disapproval. "Tch. Erwin should have done this himself if he was so bent on being charitable."
Self control left me with the shove against the dark-haired boy, my eyes wide and my lips quivered as I attempt to keep a lid on the rising anger in me. Trying, and failing. "Go then! Like they did! I never asked for your help, nor Erwin's. I never said I wanted to be saved!" My breath grew erratic with every syllable spouted, tears now stained my cheeks uncontrollably from fury.
"THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST EXECUTED ME. IT WASN'T LIKE IT WOULD HAVE MEANT ANYTHING TO ANYONE, ESPECIALLY NOT TO MY PARENTS ANYWAY!"
The only sound left apart from my collapse to the ground – my palms flat against it as my body bent over in exhaustion – was the sound of ruffling leaves, effected by the wind and on the trees that surrounded us. Soon, it was accompanied by whimpers that left my lips, growing increasingly louder and irrepressible as the facade of indifference broke down in the presence of Levi.
The one person I hated to have witnessing this.
"I despise people who do not see value in their own lives. If only lives could be exchanged, yours would be better off sacrificed for the people who died beyond the walls." He was disgusted, that much I could infer from his words, following the blade that fell beside me. "If you want to be executed so badly, then go ahead. I'm giving you the chance." The shadow of his figure shortened with the bending of his knees, now crouching beside me with a look of disdain – against my bewildered expression. "Do it and you would do them a favour – do those people who wanted you dead, and those who accused your parents. Do it and your action will mean agreement to the rumours they had been inventing."
"Do it, and escape from the fight. Be the coward that you have always been."
A... Coward.
Was that really what I was? No... I wasn't. I fought, I told them that my parents were innocent – there were possibilities they might have been captured, or eaten. I denied all accusations from the beginning... Or was it only at the beginning? Have I really lost faith, lost sight on who were the real enemies? They were not my parents... No... The enemies were the people who have been attempting to make my parents the scapegoats.
"You've done it, haven't you? Attempt to seek the easy way out of your mess?" My eyes snapped up to meet his, widened at his knowledge of me fading scars behind the sleeve. "What's stopping you then? You were so bent on it earlier, weren't you? Do it. It's your only chance left."
A wave of remorse and guilt hit me in the chest as my right hand touched the spot on my left wrist, my mouth opening and closing as words failed to form. The shaking of my head was slow, but certain.
If they wanted me dead, I will make sure to put up one hell of fight and strike chaos in their attempts to do so. I will not give in to the bastards who turned my life into hell.
"No? That's too bad." Standing back up from his spot, Levi looked down at me. Arrogant jerk. "Now get back to your training. You are not allowed to depend on me when things turn ugly."
Pushing myself off the ground once more, standing a few centimetres short from Levi, I dusted the remains of dirt from my clothing and my hands, I feel the motivation and determination surging in me which was undeniably triggered by our unfortunate interaction. My eyes narrowed as I observed my surroundings, operating device clutched readily in my hands.
"I will not." And those were my last words that day, before my first successful take off after the two years of imprisonment hiatus.
I will not allow myself to rely on him.
– Back to Present Day –
So why is it that I am recalling this memory now, desperately trying to take back my words?
Perhaps it was the looming shadow over me, covering the light of the sun with its figure – always smiling, like a nightmare that wouldn't end. It must had been a six feet, his fingers grabbing onto the roof of the building, climbing towards Armin from behind me before noting my appearance.
"YUKA! Behind you!" The blonde called out to me, stopping in his tracks which went alongside the Aberrant as the duo attempt to complete a mission I didn't understand nor was informed about. I wasn't meant to make it out of this battlefield alive, not if it went according to their plans anyway.
I was paralyzed. My first encounter with a titan, and this is how I'm going to die? They looked much different from drawings – a lot bigger, very much creepier.
(Two Hours Before)
"S–Sir, with all due respect, Commander Erwin specifically sa–" Erik was visibly shaking in the presence of three men from the Military Police. I recognized them though I could not assign a name to each of their face. One was a ginger head, his face equipped with a constant scowl with sunken cheeks. Another was stouty, dark-haired and looked like he could shred Erik in pieces if he claimed another word of defiance. The last was quiet – an observer – as his dark brown hair was swipe back, and his skinny form leaning sideway against the wall of the house. The latter being more than likely the one with actual skills and leadership among the trio.
"Well, Commander Erwin isn't here now, is he?!" The stout stepped towards Erik dangerously, his fists clutching each side of Erik's collar, lifting him a distance away from ground.
"B–but Captain Lev–" His words were replaced with a strangled cry, his body being flung to the sides of the empty street, arms winding themselves around his torso.
"Now, Ms Evalisse. You can follow us and do as you're commanded, or you can watch us torment him till you do. Either way, you have no choice." The observer whispered, his breath against my ear caused a shudder before chuckling humourlessly. "Shall we go then?"
"Moron, what are you doing?! Are you this eager to be eaten by one of the titans?!"
For a fleeting moment, I thought Levi has returned, only to realise it was all in my head when the giant hand came slamming down from above me, and me fleeing just in time.
"RUN, ARMIN!" I urged, for it was the only order issued for my presence. "I WILL COVER YOU."
"Protect Armin!" Commander Pixis had said, shortly after the introductions of the people involved in the mission. It was hardly believable that Dot Pixis would succumb to any threats, or unreasonable requests by the Military Police, yet not at all given his eccentricity. The agreement for my participation in this apparent reclaiming of Wall Rose, or the thought of reclaiming the town in itself was an example of his absurdity. But, given past interactions in my childhood with the man, part of me still trusted his judgement without a doubt.
Attack – I reminded myself, with an image of Levi's movements replaying like a broken record in my head. The hook of my gear attached itself to the titan's neck, blades held in a reverse grip and with a spiral, sliced the chunk off my enemy.
One titan down, countless to go. My eyes refocused itself on Armin's surroundings, landing on the Aberrant with a boulder on its shoulders – the key of the mission as I've gathered. By the sound of Armin's persuasion to the unconscious titan earlier, its name was Eren, but that wasn't all.
He spoke to it like he knew the titan before this. But it's impossible, isn't it? Titans couldn't talk, nor understand us, right?
"ARMIN! MIKASA!" Increasing in speed, my feet soon left the tiles of the roof as I leapt into the air, attaching the hook on the opposite building gaining distance while my comrades dropped to the grounds below.
But it wasn't long before I was trapped. Three titans to my right, and two to my left – all salivating over my existence like I was a feast to their eyes, quite literally. The loud crash of the boulder and green smoke had only given me a small window to swing myself out of the way from an incoming hand. Increasing the gap between myself and the three titans, I attached the hook to the ten metre class titan on my left, spiralling into an attack, before doing the same for the six metre.
...
"Oy, brat. Who gave you permission to imitate my moves?"
... T–That voice. No, not just that. The titans, they're motionless, faced down, and those remaining in the town are falling in rapid rates as well – much different than how it was like just seconds ago.
"Levi..." And here comes the moment I would surely regret in days to come. Dull blades were discarded on the ground, legs sprinted towards the dark-haired captain before arms flung without self control around the neck of Levi. "I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE." Yup, this moment. The moment I bawled my eyes out on the shoulder of Levi like a child, out on the roof top of a titan-filled town.
"... Why are you crying, moron? Tch. Now you're getting all that filthy blood on me." Yet despite this, his hand ruffled my hair before giving a few gentle pats on my head. "Come on, let's get you back before you pee yourself."
Author's Note:
I may upload drawings of my story on deviantart under this username. The first one up is the cover page and a scene from this chapter.
Hey guys! I need some feedbacks on this story, if you've made it this far.
I'd like to know if my writing style for this is too heavy to read, or what you think can be better for you? It doesn't have to be a review if you're not comfortable, feel free to drop me a private message instead.
Give me all your constructive criticism, I will not be offended, I just want to know my areas of improvement or areas I should continue doing. Thank you, your feedbacks will be really useful!