The song in this chapter is a parody of "A Guy Like You" from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Enjoy!
Ch.4: Someone Like Big Mac and Kyogre
As Big Mac walked towards the town with Kyogre floating at his side, they felt themselves getting nervous all over. What if they mess up? What if they say the wrong words to Pinkie and Trister? What if Pinkie or Trister say they're in love with another? Big Mac slammed his head into a nearby tree, frustration getting the best of him.
"I can't do this…"
"I don't think I can either," Kyogre groaned, covering her eyes with her wing.
"You two are not going to quit now, are you?" asked a voice nearby.
"Not when your siblings came so far as to set you up for this little double date," another voice added. The red stallion and blue whale turned to see Kaa, Mewtwo, Genesect, and Hiss standing beside them, crossing their wings/arms across their chests.
"Who're you?" Big Mac asked with confusion. Applejack and Wolfurio never got the chance to warn their brother and sister about Discord and Razenoid's henchmen, so this is their first time meeting them.
"I am Kaa," the green python answered, placing his wing on his chest in greeting. "And thisss isss my guardian Mewtwo." Said Pokemon bowed to the Pony and his guardian in greeting.
"I am Sssir Hisss," the yellow snake said with a nod, "and thisss isss my guardian Genesssect." The robot waved to them in a friendly manner. Big Mac and Kyogre just eyed them suspiciously.
"And…what are you doing here?" Kyogre then asked.
"To help you with your love lives, of course," Mewtwo answered.
"We've overheard your talk with your sssiblingsss," Kaa added, "and truth be told we happen to be…acquainted with them."
"Oh?" Big Mac asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Of course," Genesect assured him and Kyogre with a smile. "We agree that you and Pinkie Pie make the perfect pair."
"Sssame with you and Trissster," Hiss added. The stallion and Water Pokemon are still not convinced.
"But…they speaks their mind," Kyogre explained.
"'N'…we keep to ourselves…" Big Mac finished.
"They sssay that oppositesss attract," Kaa convinced them in a teasing tone. "And there'sss a good chance they will like you asss well."
"You two are smart, hardworking, and reliable," Mewtwo stated. "You are each one-of-a-kind."
Kaa: Ponyville, the village of lovers
It's glowing this afternoon
True, that's because the sun is high up
But still, there's l'amour
Mewtwo: Somewhere out there in daylight
Their hearts are also alight
And we know the ones
They'll have the glowing passion for
"Hmph," Big Mac scoffed. "There ain't any way Pinkie 'n' Trister would go fer us
"Yes, they deserve a more fun colt and guardian," Kyogre grumbled.
"Oh, you're being too modest," Genesect interjected.
"You jussst need to take that firssst ssstep isss all," Hiss concurred.
Hiss: Someone like you
They've never known, kids
Someone like you
Fine ones don't meet
Everyday
Genesect: You got a look
That's all your own, kids
Could there be more than two?
Like you?
No way!
"'N' what is our first step?" asked Big Mac.
"Well, for ssstartersss," Kaa answered, poking him in the chest with a feather/finger, "ssstop doubting yourselves."
"No one can go for a pessimist," Mewtwo agreed, gently patting Kyogre at the side of her head.
Hiss: Those other guys
That they could dangle
Genesect: All look the same
From every boring
Point of view
Kaa: But you're each a surprise
From every angle
Mewtwo: By the sun above
They gotta love
Someone like you
"But we—" Kyogre started.
"No butsss, misssy," Hiss countered. "You two have to ssstop being ssso doubtful."
"Pinkie and Trister will like you more if you're smiling a lot for them and being happy," Genesect advised. "Many love a someone who's self-confident."
Kaa: Someone like you
Gets extra credit
Because it's true
You got a
Certain something more
Hiss: You see those faces
You don't forget it
Want something new
That's you
For sure
"Well," Big Mac replied with a bit of thought, "they do try to have ev'ryone smilin'."
"I guess giving them a smile back could work," Kyogre concurred.
"There you go," Hiss stated with delight. "And your ssstrength and hardworking persona isss sssure to make them like you more."
"You jussst have to prove thossse to them by showing them how helpful you are," Kaa agreed.
Genesect: Some give huge starts
At some Adonis
But then they crave a meal
More nourishing
To chew
Mewtwo: And since your hearts
Are as big as your brawn is
No question of
They gotta love
Someone like you
"But…aren't thar other strong ones like us?" Big Mac asked with concern.
"Are you kidding?" Genesect replied. "Their strength can never measure up to yours."
"Your big hearts are what make you stronger than all of them put together," Mewtwo agreed, "and that's what really counts."
Kaa: Call me a hopeless romantic
But trust me, I feel it
Hiss: They'll love you so
Any moment, they'll come through
Your door
Mewtwo & Genesect: Foooor
"You…really think they would want that in us?" Kyogre asked, her and Big Mac's hope rising.
"Of courssse, they would," Kaa stated.
"The heart is what measures one's happiness," Mewtwo added.
"The bigger your heart," Genesect agreed, "the happier you are."
"And that isss certain to fill Pinkie and Trissster'sss heartsss with joy jussst to sssee you two happy and sssmiling for them," Hiss finished.
Hiss: Someone so swell
Kaa: Them like you
All Four: The joy you'll bring him and her
We'd be dense as a wall
Not believing they'll fall
For you-know-who
Mewtwo: Their hearts are a bell
Genesect: And you're their bell ringer
All Four: When they'll want ooh-la-la
Then they'll want you-la-la
They'll discover without fault
You're like a Wonderbolt
They're gotta love someone
Like yoooou
Gotta love someone like you
"You're right," Big Mac then said to them with a smile. "We should do our hardest to make them happy."
"And that's just what we're gonna do!" Kyogre concurred.
"That'sss the ticket," Kaa and Hiss replied before Mewtwo and Genesect spotted Pinkie bouncing down the path towards them with Trister at her side.
"Here they comes now," Genesect whispered.
"Now don't forget," Mewtwo said to Big Mac and Kyogre. "Be confident in yourselves and give them a smile once in a while to make them happy as well." The two snakes and two Pokemon then ducked into a bush nearby and hid themselves really good so that Pinkie and Trister won't spot them.
Big Mac looked up and smiled when he saw Pinkie; she's just so cute when she's all bubbly. Soon she reached the taller Pony. Trister was a little uneasy at first when his partner went up to Big Mac, but it left when he returned Kyogre's smile at him.
"Hi, Ky!"
"Hello, Trister," she said a bit shyly but with confidence.
"Hi, Big Mac," Pinkie said in her cheerful self. "Applejack and Wolfurio told Trister and me that you and Kyogre were gonna help us today with the party we're planning."
"E-yup," the red stallion answered.
"Great!" she cheered. "Thanks, you guys! Oh, this is gonna be fun."
"Yeah," Trister said as he went up next to Kyogre. "Wait until you see what the party's gonna be!" The two of them then walked away side-by-side as did their partners behind them, Kaa, Hiss, and their guardians watching after them.
"This matchmaking business appears easier than I thought," Mewtwo stated with a smile.
"Asss well asss fun," Kaa concurred with a sly grin of amusement.
"We better stay close to them to assure that this works out," Genesect advised.
"Ssspeaking of fun," Hiss replied as they then followed the two Earth Ponies and two Water guardians, "I wonder how Dissscord and Razenoid are fairing with Princesss Celessstia and Lady Arceusss."
