Skel: There seems to be a lot of questions around Darcy being able to see Loki when he's invisible, so I'll explain it a little here:

First off, he's not letting her see him, it's totally out of his control. Secondly, Darcy has no control over it either. It has something to do with Darcy having magic ninja skills… but as to why she can do magic, I can't say. It's important I keep it hidden until the right moment, so bear with me until then!

Also, she can see him like any normal person, and hear him too, which is going to wreak total havoc when Darcy tries to do her job and he's buzzing around her all the time – plus being the God of Mischief, of course he's gonna have some fun with it :p

Also I may as well just tell you now - but Darcy's ability to see Loki stems from her exposure to the worm-hole. Some trippy shit happened when her and Jane and Selvig watched Thor zap around on the Bifrost. But I'm not revealing the details because that would ruin the story. But keep it in the back of your mind that it has something to do with worm-hole shit. Not worm shit. Worm-hole shit

Anyways! there is my very long-winded explanation – hope it was "adequate" enough, tehe.

Thanks for your reviews! I feel very privileged to have you guys reading my crappy story, and i get all emotional and Darcy-like when my email tells me people like it :) so thank you a thousand-fold!

Chapter Four

"Now listen here, dude, you cannot just go zapping people around without at least a fucking warning!" Darcy shrieked from the bathroom. The sudden vertigo of being teleported unexpectedly had thrown Darcy's stomach way off balance. She flushed the toilet with her head still on the lid, moaning groggily.

"I do not need to explain myself to you," she heard from the door. Despite him being completely arrogant, Darcy was super self-conscious. She was pretty sure there was a hunk of puke in her hair or something. She felt like that girl off Watchmen, except she didn't have a science-experiment as a boyfriend. Just a Norse-god as a stalker.

"What are you still doing here? I told you to bugger off," she said through the towel she was using to wipe her mouth. He ignored her.

"Is this a typical Midgardian dwelling, or is it relational to your monetary circumstances?" he said primly. He looked like he had about fifty plums in his mouth. Darcy scowled.

"Relational," she growled, then pushed past him out into the main room. Completely worn out and deflated, all she wanted to do was hunch over on the couch with a jar of Nutella and eat it raw with a spoon while she watched sappy romantic comedies. Mind-numbing therapy. She was an expert on the subject. Plus, she seriously hoped the sight of her looking like Smeagol off Lord of the Rings would be hideous enough to compel Loki to leave. He'd been buzzing around for over half-an-hour – and it was aggravating her to no end.

Attempting to ignore her astronomical annoyance, she reached for her favourite fuzzy purple blanket, flopped onto her grungy couch and flicked the T.V. on. Season 1 of Friends was still in the DVD player and she did a mental fist-pump. Her past self could obviously read her future self's mind.

Then she realised she'd forgotten the Nutella and groaned.

"What is the problem now?" Loki asked suddenly from beside her. He'd decided to sit down casually on her couch, stealing some of her favourite blanket, invading her very private space. Oh… yeah sure just help yourself to my couch, no worries, ass-wipe.

She was tempted to tell him he was an ass-wipe, but then thought better of speaking her mind. Sure he was a dick, but he was also a very powerful, very easily-pissed-off dick with some serious emotional issues. Being brutally honest probably wasn't the best idea.

So she simply replied, "I forgot to get the Nutella," and pouted into her blanket.

He was right beside her now, his back ramrod straight and his spidery fingers resting on his knees. He looked like he'd sat on a carrot which was now firmly lodged up his ass. She watched as he turned to quirk an eyebrow at her snootily.

"What is this… Nutella you speak of?" The word sounded strange in his funny accent and Darcy let a small smirk escape her lips.

"Sweet, hazlenutty, chocolatey goodness," she pined. "But I'm too lazy to go get it."

Loki narrowed his eyes, then brought his hand to his face. Suddenly the Nutella appeared in his pianist fingers and he turned it over, looking at it quizzically.

"Is this the substance you infer to?" he asked softly, but Darcy wasn't listening. She was too deafened by the sound of Angelic Choirs singing hallelujah in her ears.

"Fuck yes!" she clenched her fist in triumph, then reached for the jar like some sort of junkie. Snatching it away from him, she tore the lid off and went to dig her finger into the pot. She scooped out a huge hunk of the glorious mixture and dumped it in her mouth with relish, licking her finger probably a tad too eagerly.

Loki watched on in both horror and fascination, his lip curling up in disgust.

After a moment of orgasmic bliss, Darcy then turned to look at him. "What?" she said angrily. "Never seen a Twenty-two year old girl on a Sunday night? This is very normal behaviour."

Loki just blinked, regarding her with extra-caution.

"What are you still doing here anyway?" she said, putting the Nutella between them and folding her arms. "Don't you have to … you know … kill puppies or take over the world or something?"

Loki just kept staring at her, a very strange look on his face which she couldn't place. He looked… hurt? No, he couldn't be. But his features had rearranged infinitesimally to show some sort of pained emotion… but suddenly shifting back to the aloof mask which seemed permanent. She shrugged mentally – sure he was probably capable of being hurt, but not by her.

After a moment of awkwardness – which seemed to follow Darcy around like a cloud all of a sudden – he cleared his throat and patted at his armour absently.

"I am uncomfortable leaving someone of your… unique abilities to their own devices."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I do not trust you, Miss Lewis. For reasons unforeseen, you deflect my invisibility spell – a very complex spell might I add. I am uneasy leaving you when such aptitudes are so naturally at your disposal."

Jesus… could this guy even speak English? She took a moment to decipher his Cambridge-Lingo.

"Uh… so basically… because I can see you, you think I have some weird ninja magic skills?" she tried.

"I do not see how Japanese Legends have anything to do with your propensities or… magic skills. " He furrowed his brow. "In fact," he continued, "I highly doubt you have any talent at all. It more likely has something to do with exposure rather than ability."

"Whatever," she peeved now. Who was he to decide whether she had ninja magic skills or not. She totally did.

"Look… surely there's something much more exciting you could be doing?" she ventured, "Besides, I can't control this shit, can I? It's not like I'm going to pose a threat any time soon – you said that yourself, if I recall correctly," she reached for her Nutella again, slightly put out that she didn't have a spoon, but whatever. The gods gave us hands for a reason.

Well… for more than one reason, she thought as she caught sight of the god's hands beside her. He was doing that thing again where he rubbed them slowly; pressing his fingers together delicately as if he were touching spider's webs. She watched on and marvelled at how angular and thin they were – like pianists fingers. Long and gentle.

Yeah… the gods definitely gave his hands many reasons for existing. She'd bet they'd be very useful… particularly when he was pleasuring—

She stopped. Enough of that! Don't think about his fingers doing naughty things, don't think about it!

But it was too late. Could you blame a girl? Here she was sitting next to a freaking god for crying out loud. An unbelievably sexy god with pianists fingers. What else was she going to think about if not what he could do to her with his hands?

She tried not to shiver as her mind started wandering to naughty places. Very naughty places. Scenario's involving his potentially useful fingers began flickering through her mind in some erotic mental montage…

Digressing! She snapped out of her porno, remembering he was an actual human being who was sitting beside her. Probably noticing her horniness. But he was pondering something and so didn't seem to witness her embarrassing internal conflict. He finally stopped rubbing his hands and put them down gently. Phew.

"All the same," he said softly, rubbing his chin now, "it would not hurt to keep a constant eye on you. Usually I would be able to do this undetected, however, in view of the circumstances, that will not be possible. Henceforth, you shall have to deal with both my visibility and continual presence."

Continual? "Um… what do you mean, 'continual?'" she mocked his accent agitatedly. She was starting to get beyond pissed.

"I cannot risk letting you out of my sight for an instant, Miss Lewis," he said with sudden intensity. "You do in fact pose a threat – but only to my secrecy. I cannot have you revealing me. I must remain with you to make sure you do not." He stood very suddenly and turned to face her, looking directly down his perfect nose at her like she were an insect.

"So… so what you're saying is…" she clenched her jaw, "you're here to stay… indefinitely? Like… basically until you whenever the fuck you want?" her voice rose higher and higher as realisation dawned. He was going to stick around, constantly, and follow her everywhere? Jesus Cheese Sauce! "But – but that's ridiculous!" she cried out, her face scrunched up in complete disgust. "How the fuck am I supposed to keep your bloody secret, and do my job for fucking S.H.I.E.L.D. without looking suspicious? And on top of it all, deal with you – the most evil, insensitive, callous, deceitful—"

But she couldn't finish because suddenly he was right over her – his face but a hair's-breadth from hers. She felt her heart freeze as she saw his face; his eyes flames of rage and his jaw so tight she thought it would break. She watched as the muscles on his face tensed bitterly

"Know this, mortal," his voice was death itself, "Your qualms and inhibitions are no concern of mine. I have no misgivings whatsoever when it comes to killing you. Keep that in mind before you dare to insult me again." And with that he drew back, so ominously that Darcy let out a tiny squeak of complete terror.

Oh, shit… …

She started shaking and tried to tear her eyes away, but she couldn't. She felt like a deer in the headlights about to be completely pulverised by an eight-wheeler. Curse my tongue! She really needed to reign in her words.

She realised all too late that she'd been pretty horrible. I mean, even if what I said about him were true, it was still pretty harsh.

She kept watching him cautiously. He was looking away from her now, his fists clenched and his jaw-muscles pulsing. With a start she noticed a film over his eyes, making them glisten in the dim light, almost like he were about to…

Woah…

"H—hey… look," she said suddenly. "…I…I'm sorry." Holy shit is he… gonna cry? Fuck me.

She stood up awkwardly, shuffling over to him. He was a complete statue, refusing to respond. So she reached out gingerly with her hand to touch his shoulder.

His reaction was strange. He flinched like he'd been burned and turned to face her – his face torn between complete shock and bitter anger. She froze, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He watched her warily, that strange expression still manifest on his features. But after a century of studying her face, he finally seemed to calm down. She hoped she looked sympathetic enough, and not like she was about to shit herself from fear.

He sighed, then composed his features, and he was suddenly that same aloof, disinterested Loki she knew. The mask in place, he cleared his throat.

"I … need sustenance," he said softly. "And a place to sleep. This bed shall suffice, but I do not think your… Nutella, will be adequate," he scrunched his nose up at the jar and Darcy gasped – the outburst all but forgot.

"How dare you speak about my baby that way," she raced over to pick it up and started stroking it. "You haven't even tried any, you judgemental dick."

He watched her cautiously, then furrowed his brow, "I suppose you are correct… I cannot make a judgement without first trying it." And he was suddenly in front of her – he seriously needs to stop doing that whole zapping around thing without warning me. It's giving me a headache – and he placed a thin finger into the jar. Darcy watched on in anticipation as he raised the lump of chocolate on his finger to his thin, pale lips and… sucked.

Oh god… Nutella and pianist fingers and perfect mouths and sucking and… I think I need a change of underwear.

But before she could gain control of her raging sexual-frustration, Loki suddenly gasped. His eyes widened into two huge, green saucers, and he suddenly looked like a five-year-old. With intense vigour, he snatched the jar off her and proceeded to shovel the brown goop into his mouth. His hand became a blur as he shovelled faster and faster, Darcy staring on in horror.

And then the jar was empty. Completely empty. Even she, queen of scraping the bottom of the pot, couldn't get that much Nutella out of one jar. He sucked on his finger, tasting the last of the chocolatey goodness, and a blissful smile passed across his face.

She let out a small laugh, "…adequate enough for you?" she asked.

He moaned in pleasure and she tried not to think about that too much. "I require another," he said simply, placing the empty plastic jar back in her hands. "In fact, I require many. Where do they grow this Nutella?"

Darcy just laughed, shaking her head in awe. "Sorry bro, but the shops are all shut. You'll have to wait until morni—" but he suddenly disappeared before she could finish What the hell?

After about ten seconds, however, he returned…

With a basket

Full

Of Nutella.

She may or may not have squealed uncontrollably.

"Holy shit!" She yelled, watching him place the mountain of chocolate onto her apartment floor. "Super-villain or not, you are now my new favourite person." She squealed like a school-girl and went to caress her mountain of drugs.

He watched her curiously, "Well… I suppose I could share one or two with you, Miss Lewis. But understand the rest are mine."

"Nuh uh," she said, standing up to fold her arms indignantly. "Now way hombre, you stay in my house? You pay up. And by pay up I mean weekly deposits of hazelnut-chocolate into my account," she gestured to her stomach. "Comprende?"

He blinked. "Miss Lewis… that is not your decision to make. My staying with you is not a two-way negotiation—"

"I'll let you sleep in my bed?" she offered.

"Miss Lewis, like I said—"

"I promise I won't tell anyone that you're here?"

"Again, not your deciding—"

"I'll let you have control of the remote, and!" she added before he could speak, "I'll even let you have some of my ice-cream stash."

He froze then, slightly intrigued "Ice-cream? What is ice-cream?"

"Yeah. Ice-cream. It's even better than Nutella. And I always get the best flavours. If you don't pay up weekly, then you won't be able to have any."

He pursed his lips and she tried not to burst into hysterical laughter. He was actually being serious with this conversation. He was ridiculous.

"You have a deal," he offered his hand. Slightly swooning, she touched it, then shook it gently. And believe it or not, she flashed her a toothy grin.

"To a long and healthy business venture," he said suddenly, still grinning. It was so infectious Darcy felt her cheeks hurt. Did he have bi-polar or something? One minute he's threatening to kill me, the next he's grinning like an idiot.

"Listen… uh… Loki…" she rubbed the back of her neck, "I know… you're supposed to be the bad guy here, but I… shouldn't have said all that shit stuff about you. I'm sure you're just…" she bit her lip, trying to search for the word.

He hummed a low laugh then finished for her; "misunderstood?" She blinked – was he mocking her?

"Did you think I needed pity Miss Lewis? That I was simply someone in need of another to understand me? Misunderstood, lonely, emotionally scarred?" He laughed then, a very bitter laugh. "I am the bad guy. The villain. And very soon everyone on this Aesir-forsaken planet will know that."

And Darcy was suddenly hit by the full power of his very devious, very mischievous trade-mark smirk, which left her feeling both unbelievably turned-on, and shittingly terrified.

"O—okay…" she breathed. "Cool. Whatever suits, man." She ran her fingers through her hair.

He moved to open another jar of Nutella and sat back down on the couch gracefully. Not sure what to do, she moved to join him.

Well this is pretty damn awkward…

"Oh and Miss Lewis?" he said mid-lick, his finger poised in front of his mouth. "Understand that you cannot back out of our deal. No one must know of my presence here. If you break that deal, I'll make your life a living hell."

Holy shit, I believe you. His eyes were a green fire, burning into her. But his smile was that of a school-boy.

She kinda liked it, in a very, very twisted way.

"Uh… sure, yeah. Nutella's more important to me than S.H.I.E.L.D. anyways," and she turned to flick to DVD on.

The similar images flickered across the screen, but she wasn't paying any attention. Today had been a complete cluster-cuss. First the café, then the cube, then meeting Loki and discovering she had some weird ability to see through his spell. And now she'd learnt he was practically going to live with her until Odin knows when, and provide her with seemingly endless Nutella every week, as well as glorious eye-candy and permanent sexual-frustration.

She couldn't decide if her life was going to be a living hell, or an earthly paradise.

She sighed.

Probably both.