Ahh Love…

"So Eragon, do you have anybody special?" Alyss gave him a teasing look and batted her eyelashes.

"That is a very good question…" Eragon gave the Classic Sigh of Depression and sat down. Because we know that when you're in the middle of a quest you randomly drop down in the middle of the day. But wait! It's always conveniently evening, or early in the morning. So we shall make this… evening; to help with the mood.

"What about you Alyss? You're a beautiful girl."

"I'm married actually."

"That's good correct?"

"It is a wonderful thing." Alyss went off into the Dreamy Gaze that lovesick teenage girls get when talking about Taylor Lautner.

-On her sparkly cloud TA shuddered. BrightWatcher only shrugged and said, "It's true."

"What's your husband like?" Eragon leaned in eagerly.

"He smart and charming, very clever, has a way of making friends with everybody, and he's been my closest friend since we were young children."

"That's lovely my Lady." Legolas was standing watch. "Tell us more about your lady, Eragon."

Alyss leaned in eagerly.

-TA copied her.

Eragon only gazed into the distance and murmured woefully, "She is everything… beautiful, talented, wherever she goes the scent of crushed pine needles lingers… Deadly in battle and sensitive with her closest friends…"

"And?" Alyss held her breath, a light breeze blew their fair hair about.

"She does not feel the same."

"Aww…" Everybody let out a collective groan of disappointment.

Nobly not lingering on his suffering Eragon turned to Legolas, "What is your story?"

He blinked. "Why, in all my centuries alive I've never met somebody I've been willing to give my heart to. Besides, the lady would have to be of the fairer race and most of them sailed to Valinor, never to return."

The awkward silence was broken when Draco moodily said, "At least you all have something interesting to contribute. My love life is nothing but a pain."

"Why's that?" Alyss asked politely.

"My only romantic interest so far in my life has been with some silly prune who's constantly moaning about her hair."

"You loved a prune? If it had hair it was a relationship doomed to be short lived anyways." They all turned to look at Eragon. He shrugged. "It's true."

Legolas cleared his throat, "Have you ever felt deeply for somebody?"

"I can't say I have." Draco nodded thoughtfully. "So elf boy, you can't tell me you've never liked a girl in all of your 'centuries alive?'"

"I can actually."

"Wait!" Alyss shot up to her feet. "I know! You like somebody, but she's all-ready taken!"

"Hardly." Legolas's aura was unruffled.

"Come on…" She strode over to stare at him.

"I'd rather not say."

"Warmer… warmer…" Eragon grinned and hopped to his feet. Draco twisted around so that he could see Legolas.

"It was never meant to be. In fact she's not even tangible. Her voice is soft, and her hair is a silvery white curtain."

-TA glared at BrightWatcher. "You're writing a Mary Sue aren't you?!" BrightWatcher merely said, "Keep going."

"What's her name?" Alyss asked.

"Her name… she has many, but in the tongue of my people we call her, ëar."

"What does that mean?" Eragon had a fixed expression on his face.

"Sea."

"How lovely and romantic!"

Legolas smiled knowingly.

-TA facepalmed. "You didn't." BrightWatcher grinned, "Aren't I so clever?"

And all the world was silent…

Then everyone was rudely jolted awake.

"OMYGOSH IT'S MAY FIFTH!" The Authoress began to bounce and twirl eagerly.

With wide eyes Eragon stared at her capering about. Were those… sparkles she was tossing from her hands?

A rainbow appeared. BrightWatcher came sliding down (the rainbow). "May the Fourth be with you." She said solemnly.

"NO NO NO IT'S THE REVENGE OF THE FIFTH!"

"And this is entirely the wrong story!"

"It's not even May 6th anymore." Alyss tossed her hair.

"AWWW…" Eragon moaned in disappointment.

Author's Note:

IT'S ME. :D

Ok this chapter was going to be for Valentines Day. I know, major facepalm there for me. Then I thought, it's the Revenge of the Fifth! I can celebrate my new love for Star Wars. Once again. Facepalm.

So, here at last is a nice, short little chapter of nothingness. The sparkles are my minions. The rainbow is a nod to my new love for MLP. Rainbow Dash is the best. Yes it is possible to be awed and in love with LOTR and watch MLP at the same time. I'm a diverse person.

Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed. Though I must say this out here:

I know that Eragon isn't blonde. *huge sigh* He has brown hair in the books, blonde in that atrocious movie. However for the purposes of this story I made him blonde, see the first chapter and even the beginning of the second for details on his transformation. I couldn't think of anyone who was naturally blonde in the IC aside from a few elves who have silver hair. As much as I love Nari, I decided that Eragon was far more amusing to write, I've always wanted to make fun of him like everyone else on here.

Aside from that, if anyone spots any glaring grammatical errors (as I keep discovering and editing out) or confusing points of this nonexistent plot,

please please please tell me and I will work to fix them. Thank you very much for reading! I dare say I talk more in the author's notes than I actually write. O.o