Hello everyone! I feel that I must apologize profusely for the wait. I have been EXTREMELY busy because on a whim my girlfriend and I rushed for the lesbian sorority on campus. Anyway, I got this chapter finished finally and will hopefully be able to publish on a regular schedule about once a week. I hope you enjoy it. Soon the real fun will begin!
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"Why didn't you tell me all of that, Ashley?" I was understandably upset about this whole situation. Obviously I knew that Ashley has secrets, she hardly ever talked to anyone, but learning all of these things even a close friend would know made me feel like calling myself her best friend was a much too generous title.
"Spencer, I've never told anyone. I hardly even admitted these things to myself. I didn't want to put the burden of my past on to you when you were struggling with your own problems."
"I would have helped you before it came to this! Before you decided that death was a better option than just fucking talking to me! You never even told me that you were a lesbian. There's no way you could consider that to be burdening me. All those nights you sat there listening to my petty little teenaged issues, I should have been listening to you," all the anger I'd had towards her reversed and became anger at myself. What an awful friend I had been. I wasn't the friend I should have been to her, the person she felt like she could tell everything to. I was too caught up in myself and complaining about what went wrong with my life that I never even asked about her.
"You didn't need to know. No one did. It wasn't as though I ever expected to date anyone or live long enough to get married. I was more than happy to listen to you when you needed me."
"But that isn't what friendship is about! It's a two-way street, we should have relied on each other and not just me on you. I complain about the bitches who made my life hell in high school and you complain about . . . everything. I was just a selfish kid, I'd never had a friend who would just listen to me and tell me everything would be ok. Who didn't judge me."
"You weren't selfish, Spencer. I didn't want to tell you. Dr. Lincoln was right. I didn't even want to admit all of those things to myself. I wanted to pretend that it never happened so I repressed it until it came to this. Until I despaired and thought that death was the only way to escape from the memories. In some ways instead of making my own life, I lived through you. All of your stories became mine. I imagined that I had lived through you. I meant it when I said that you were the best thing to ever happen to me," I couldn't argue with her any more so I just wrapped her up in my arms and cried on her shoulder.
"You know I'll always be here for you Ashley. From now on you have to promise you won't keep any secrets from me," I pulled back and looked into her eyes so she knew I meant what I was asking of her.
"I promise I won't keep any secrets from you, Spence. As long as you promise me that you will help me through this, even when I don't want your help," I nodded and took her hands in mine.
"I promise I will help you through everything that will be happening," we embraced once more before Dr. Lincoln entered the room with Ashley's discharge papers.
"I see you two have made up. Ashley, I have some orders here of what you will be required to do over the next few days. Spencer, I have a packet for you too. Both of you should go through these together so you know what to expect from one another. Ashley is on a suicide watch outside of the hospital, meaning Spencer, you will be responsible for keeping track of her. Emergency contact information is there for the hospital as well as my personal phone numbers, including my fiancé's just in case you can't reach me. Ok, that's about it. Just get dressed and a nurse will be in to wheel you out. I'll see you in a few days for our first real session," after she left Ashley put on the clothes I had brought her from our apartment. A nurse came in with a wheelchair and explained that it was hospital policy that anyone being released had to be escorted out. Once we got to the car we both took a deep breath, glad to be out in the real world again.