04

Phrases People Say

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Oh please save me from this nightmare, Lynn thought to herself, as she sighed, cleared her throat, and put on beautifully fake smile for the umpteenth time.

Shaking her head to forget her weariness from a sleepless night, she tried to remember what exactly she had been doing the night before. She shook her head again as she struggled to remember, but failed to, for the umpteenth time. Clearing her throat again, she clapped her hands as the princess broke her archery stance and handed her the longbow.

"That was very good, Princess Gledae," she said, holding down her voice. "But next time, let's try to not injure the innocent bystanding barrels, shall we?"

"Magnificent! I think I am getting the 'hang' of it, as you people call it," the princess said, running her hand over her hair, then proceeding to remove the quiver from around her head and shoulder. "But I am also becoming rather tired, squire. I therefore dismiss you from tutoring me in this archery lesson, and--"

They heard a loud clanking of metal at the courtyard entrance. Lynn glanced just in time to see a retreating knight's boot, and a familiar gauntleted hand carrying a practice sword. At the entrance was the training dummy, spinning and wobbling in place. The bucket that hung from one arm swung back and forth, distractingly.

"Aah, your highness," Lynn said, before the princess could turn around to see a retreating Landen. "Do you not think you could go for one more round? It seems a shame to stop now--,"

"I thank you, squire," she said, with a smile that seemed to radiate pity. "It has been an enchanting morning spent with you, but I must return to my own duties as princess. You do understand, do you not, squire?"

Lynn felt her blood boil at her words, but she bit her tongue as she glanced over the princess's shoulder at the court entrance. The squire was safely out of sight.

"Understood, your highness," she said, bowing low.

"And so I must leave you, squire," the princess continued, handing Lynn the quiver.

Lynn took it, and bowed graciously. "Very well, your highness. I am glad I could be of service to you--," she said, but as she looked up, the princess had already turned her back on her, calling for her ladies-in-waiting.

Waiting until she'd left the courtyard, Lynn stomped back to the weapons shed, dumped the quiver and the training longbow in one corner, picked up her practice sword, and headed straight for the dummy. Pulling it by its sword-arm, she brought it to the middle of the courtyard, where she proceeded to beat it up.

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Whack! Wham! Slash! Pow!

Three hours later, the sounds continued to ring out through the courtyard. Lynn was furiously hacking away at the training dummy, as it spun, wobbled, and turned on its rounded base.

Swinging the sword in her right arm over and around her head, she slashed at the dummy from right to left again and again, causing it to start spinning clockwise. Then, as its arms started stretching outward from the force of its spin, and using her own right arm's momentum, Lynn swung her sword as the dummy-arm swung by, using an upward flick of the wrist to disarm the poor dummy of its sword.

The dummy continued spinning, its other arm coming around, a bucket dangling from its end. Quickly changing the direction of her arm's movement, she blocked the incoming metal bucket with the flat of her sword. A resonating clang echoed throughout the clearing, as well as throughout Lynn's entire body. Shaking off the vibrations that ran through her body, she moved her sword upwards and outwards from the dummy's body, swiftly knocking the bucket into the air.

She used her sword arm's momentum to turn clockwise, pivoting on her left heel. Then, stomping her right foot down, on the edge of the dummy's rounded base, she grabbed its disarmed arm, causing it to tilt drastically towards her as she brought the edge of her sword up to its neck, creating a deep gash in the sack used to cover its head.

She stayed like that for a moment, until she realized that she had broken out in a sweat, and was suddenly panting heavily. Letting go of the hapless and nigh-decapitated training dummy and letting it fall back, then forward, then back then forward, she fell backwards on the ground, landing on her rump. A bucket came down, clanging as it crashed on the dummy's head. Lynn chuckled to herself at the incident and praised herself for an impromptu routine well-done.

She lay down in the middle of the courtyard, to catch her breath.

"Very well done, squire Lynn," she heard a voice say. "We shan't be expecting anything out of this troublemaker, I see, no sir-ee," the jester said, poking the dummy's head.

"Shut up, Kipp," she said, between gasps. "Unless you want trouble out of me."

"Leave the rhymes and funny lines to me, squire," Kipp said, bending over her, hands on his hips. "I can read you like a book. You and Landen both."

"What," she said, knitting her brow at the jester. "What are you talking about?"

"Hmph," Kipp scoffed. "The princess must be disappointed. Truly disappointed. By you and Landen both."

"Bah," she said, waving a hand in front of her face. "Keep your foolishness to yourself, jester," she said, sitting up. "Be careful what you say about the princess."

"And you," the jester said, ominously, turning his back on her and walking off. "Be careful what you don't say."

She gave a small puff of breath as she lay back down on the ground, to sleep until the afternoon.

---

"Good afternoon, squires, I trust you are ready for today's training," Sir Galadore said, chin up, and gaze going right through them, as though he were commanding thousands of troops on a battlefield, and not two knight apprentices in a humble castle courtyard.

"Yes, Sir," Lynn & Landen said in unison.

"I hope you used your time yesterday and this morning wisely," he said, a strange glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. "Today we test your ability to read your opponent."

Lynn heard a cough somewhere in the corner of the courtyard.

"To read, Sir?" Landen asked, stepping forward. "Read what exactly?"

"What about you start with the pretty red dots on the princess's face whenever you're around?" Kipp shouted, juggling balls in a corner of the courtyard.

"The opponent's techniques, his next move," the knight started, beginning his signature pacing, as though up and down columns of soldiers. "Perhaps even his thoughts, and his feelings--,"

"Oh yeah, that's easy to read on the princess," Kipp quipped again, turning around while juggling the three balls high into the air. "'Dear Squire,'" he imitated in a high voice. "Doesn't that just tell you something?"

"And then you could anticipate his actions. Prepare yourself to guard, to dodge, or to counterattack their advances."

"Oh, Landen knows how to dodge advances, yes sir-ee," Kipp continued, bouncing the hackey-sacks on his elbows. "You should see him when the princess comes arou-- Yeow!"

He was cut short by a sharp pain in his behind. He jumped forward, hands on his rump. His jester's equipment fell around him, one on his head. He whipped around just in time to see Lynn dust off her hands and quickly put them at her back again, and the agitated dust at her feet, where a pebble the size of the new red mark on his rump used to rest.

"We begin with a game of rock, sword, & parchment," the knight continued.

"And the winner gets to choose what weapon to use for today's training, Sir?" Lynn quickly put in, ignoring the evil glare coming from an irate jester.

"No," Sir Galadore said, and he stopped pacing. "That is today's training, squire. And here are your rules. Listen well.

"You are to play rock, sword, parchment against each other, squires. You do not start until I give the signal 'Go'. You may talk to each other before the signal, but once it is given, you must choose rock, sword, or parchment, and make that symbol with your right hand at once. If you are late, you immediately lose. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir," they said in unison.

"Good. Let's start the training then, shall we?" he said, clapping his hands twice before walking away from them.

"Yes, Sir…?" they said, looking at him walk back and forth. They looked at each other. Landen raised an eyebrow and Lynn shrugged her shoulders. Landen started looking around, as though someone was about to sneak up on them from behind. Lynn returned to watching Sir Galadore pace the courtyard.

Then, Sir Galadore slowly raised his right hand to around ear level, and paused mid-step, his right leg trailing behind him. Lynn tensed and crouched, ready for a surprise attack. Landen continued looking around.

"Go!" Sir Galadore mouthed, quietly putting down his right foot and bringing his right hand down to point at the two squires.

Lynn gave a small jump and chose a symbol with her right fist. Rock. She glanced at Landen who looked at her quizzically. His hands were at his sides.

"One point for squire Lynn," Sir Galadore said, "By virtue of squire Landen's inaction."

"But Sir, you did not say 'Go' yet," Landen complained.

"Oh I gave the signal 'Go,'" the knight said, raising a finger. "I gave it. You weren't watching carefully."

Landen opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, giving off a little puff of breath. Suddenly Lynn realized something. The way this game was supposed to be played. She gave a little gasp, opening her mouth, then she closed it again.

"Alright, let's have the next round," Galadore said, walking towards them and standing perfectly still. This time, he spread his open palms to his sides, saying the word, "Go."

The signal came so quickly, yet so subtly and quietly, that they were both stunned for a while. Landen proceeded to choose his symbol, and Lynn knew what he would choose, after seeing Sir Galadore give this round's version of the signal. And so she chose. Rock, again.

Because Landen had chosen sword.

"Another point for squire Lynn." He walked over to stand in front of a still-stunned Landen. He balled his right hand into a fist and gave Landen a very light punch to the chest. "Go," he said, firmly.

Lynn chose sword and looked at Sir Galadore with earnest eyes. Landen stood still, even more stunned than earlier on.

"Very good, squire Lynn," Sir Galadore said. "I trust you understand today's lesson now, if I've read the reasons for your actions correctly."

Lynn put her hands at her sides and bowed to the knight. "I trust so too, Sir."

"Very well then," he said, giving a small wink and a slight smile. "Squires, you are dismissed."

"Thank you sir."

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(Oh look, here come the author's notes! Please R&R people. If you give a good review, I'll tell you a little secret as to where I got my character ideas from, and I'll explain the genealogy of these characters in relation to the original Jane & the Dragon folks. Thanks!)