I can't even begin to describe how much I enjoyed writing this chapter! So much fun! However, I need to apologize in advance for taking pure dialogue out of the book! Hope it's ok! I usually change it a bit, but I didn't want to change Ashley's words here and MM wrote them so much better than I could ever have! Obviously (and sadly), I don't own GWTW or the characters or anything about it!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 4

Ever since the birth of their daughter, Rhett's conduct astonished everyone. Who would have thought that Rhett of all people could be so openly proud of fatherhood. Especially when taken into consideration that his first-born was a girl and not a boy. Even more bewildering was the fact that the novelty of fatherhood didn't wear off after the first weeks. He was deliriously happy and so proud of anything about her. Her beauty, her resemblance to her mother, her intelligence, her many talents. Everything was a wonder to him and he boasted about them to anyone willing to hear. In any other occasion, Scarlett would have been embarrassed about it. It was something unmanly in the display of such love for a child. Yet she didn't mind. Not one bit. After witnessing his attitude during her pregnancy, she knew that nothing Rhett ever did could surprise her anymore. She was used to his oddities by now and somehow she had come to found them refreshing. Besides, she had found herself inexplicably attracted to their daughter as well.

For reasons she couldn't clarify she immediately grew a vast interest in the baby in a way she had never done with her other two children. She would watch her sleep and talk to her when awake, she got involved in taking care of her and become excited with anything new she was doing. And of course, she thought her breathtakingly beautiful and too smart for a baby. But she would never admit it in the presence of others, not even Rhett. Even when people would tell her that her daughter was the spitting image of her, she was dismissing the compliment nonchalantly. One doting parent in the house was enough, she mused to justify her uneasiness and confusion over these new-found feelings for the baby. Deep inside though, she was bursting with pride.

The name they had agreed upon for their daughter was Eugenie Victoria. One day, however, during one of Melanie's frequent visits, she unwillingly bestowed her a name that blotted out their original idea.

"Her eyes are going to be pea-green," Rhett leaned over the baby.

"You really think she will have my eyes?" Scarlett said with barely masked enthusiasm.

"Indeed, she is not," Melly cried indignantly. "Her eyes are blue and they are going to stay blue, like Mr. O' Hara's eyes. As blue as the bonnie blue flag."

"Bonnie Blue Butler," Rhett laughed and turned to Scarlett for approval.

"Three Bs?" she teased. She did like the sound of it though and she raised her hands in resign. "Bonnie Blue it is then."

Nothing could ruin her spirits that morning. Not even the hard moment of truth when she tried to put on a dress and realized she didn't fit in it. She kept on humming a happy tune, while Lou was modifying one, trying to decide which hat to wear and how to do her hair. For after six whole months that was the very first morning she was able to go out again.

"Someone is mighty happy this morning," Rhett joked from the door frame. "May I ask why?"

"I am going out today," she said melodiously and gave him a bright smile.

"How could I have possibly forgotten that," he smiled back. "The beast is released from captivity at last. And what are your plans for your first day of freedom?"

"Why, I'm going to the mills, of course. I can hardly wait to sniff the smell of freshly cut wood again," she sighed merrily.

She turned her back to him to slide into her dress and didn't see his smile falling into a thin line.

"Indeed," he flatly said.

She took a last glance of herself at the mirror and fully satisfied with her looks, grabbed her hat to make a leave.

"See you at dinner, darling," she kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the room. So impatiently that she didn't notice the carefully placed mask on his face and the dark impenetrable eyes following her until she was out of sight.

Such a bright day it was. During the long drive through and out of the town she was looking around ecstatically observing everything as though for the first time. Only when the mills caught her eye from afar did it cross her mind that she was going to see Ashley again. She hadn't seen him since before Bonnie was born and she hadn't even noticed a moment ago, she realized with great surprise. Well, it didn't matter anyhow. She was here now and that's what was important. Ashley came to the door of the little office, his eyes joyful with pleasure of seeing her again. This ascertainment, however, didn't bring along the usual joy. Bewildered with herself, she let him hand her out of the carriage and into the office. She was eagerly looking at his face trying to find something -anything- to revive the old tingling feeling of excitement that his proximity used to evoke in her, but failed miserably. In front of her stood a different man. His hair was grayer, his face tired, his once proud shoulders shrugged as if by an invisible weight. Was he like that the last time she had seen him? Even his voice -once resonant and musical- had now a dull, almost resigned tone. What had he done with her golden knight? No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't detect the smallest resemblance to the man she had fallen in love with eight years ago. An unsettling feeling was building in the pit of her stomach. What was wrong with her? That was Ashley. Her Ashley. She hadn't laid eyes on him for months and now she was finally here, alone with him, and yet she felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The unsettling feeling intensified when she went over the books of his mills and compared them with Johnnie Gallagher's books. She said nothing, but Ashley read her face.

"Scarlett, I'm sorry. All I can say is that I wish you'd let me hire free darkies instead of convicts. I believe I could do better."

"Darkies! Why, their pay would break us. Convicts are dirt cheap. If Johnnie can make this much with them…"

"I can't work convicts like Johnnie Gallagher. I can't drive men."

"God's nightgown! Johnnie's a wonder at it. Ashley, you are just too soft-hearted. You ought to get more work out of them. Johnnie told me that any time a malingerer wanted to get out of work he told you he was sick and you gave him a day off. Good Lord, Ashley! That's no way to make money. A couple of licks will cure most any sickness short of a broken leg…"

"Scarlett! Scarlett! Stop! I can't bear to hear you talk that way," he cried. "Don't you realize that they are men… some of them sick, underfed, miserable and… Oh, my dear, I can't bear to see the way he has brutalize you, you who were always so sweet…"

"Who has whatted me?"

"I've got to say it and I haven't any right. But I've got to say it. Your… Rhett Butler."

Rhett? What did Rhett had to do with anything? she puzzled unable to quite understand what he was telling her.

"Everything he touches he poisons."

Her mouth dropped ajar, astonished by his bluntness. She thought of Rhett's hands, big and strong as they were. How many times they had comforted her. And his touch. So gentle at one time, so thrilling the next. What did Ashley know about Rhett's hands? She felt the anger quickly flaring inside her. He had no right.

"And he had taken you who were so sweet and generous and gentle, for all your spirituous ways, and he had done this to you… hardened you, brutalized you by his contact."

Good Lord! In which world was this man living? Certainly not this one. Rhett hadn't done all those things to her. It was the War. She couldn't even remember the last time she was sweet and gentle. If she ever had been. Was that how he regarded her? A pretty mealy-mouthed ninny, save for the spirituous ways? Why, she wouldn't have lasted an hour during the War if she had been.

"If he were any other man in the world, I wouldn't care so much… but Rhett Butler! I've seen what he's done to you. Without you realizing it, he's twisted your thoughts into the same hard path his own run in."

The hard path alright. Was there any other way? How did he think she had bought this business and made it thrive? With gentleness and sweetness and generosity? If only it was that easy. Rhett hadn't twisted her thoughts. Rhett was the one who had helped her see clearly for the first time in her life. Without the veil of hypocrisy and prudery blurring her vision.

"Oh, yes, I know I shouldn't say this… He saved my life and I am grateful but I wish to God it had been any other man but him!"

The last word was the strike that broke the camel's back.

"Ashley," she said sharply, but he didn't hear her lost as his was in his musings.

"I tell you I can't bear it," he went on, "seeing your fineness coarsened by him, knowing that your beauty and your charm are in the keeping of a man who… When I think of him touching you…"

Touching her? No man had ever touched her like Rhett did. No man could have. And he dared to speak of it with disgust?

"Ashley," she shouted boiling with rage now. She had heard enough.

He wasn't looking at her up until then. When he did, he drew a sharp breath and took a step back. He had heard of her temper, but never before had he witnessed it with his own eyes. She was way past furious it seemed, her face flushed, her eyes gleaming dangerously spitting green fire.

"I apologize most humbly, Scarlett," he mumbled, suddenly realizing that he had said too much.

"Do you?" she mocked.

"I've been insinuating that your husband is not a gentleman and my own words have proved that I'm not one."

"That's one way of putting it and it's certainly an understatement," she said through clenched teeth.

"Scarlett, I…"

"You haven't just proved that you are not a gentleman," she ignored his attempt to speak. "You have also proved that you are the most ungrateful man ever existed."

She couldn't hold back the cruel tone in her voice. Like she couldn't control the words that began to pour out of her mouth with stunning ferocity. His accusations had pushed her to the limit.

"Fine way of showing your gratitude for the man who has not only saved your neck, but has also saved the life of your wife and your son risking his own life in doing so. And instead of being on your knees kissing his boots for the rest of your days, you speak ill of him. Of the very same man who lent me the money to buy the mills that provide roof over your head, food on your table and clothes for your family. The man who is my husband," she was heaving with wrath now.

His eyes grew wide with shock and mortification.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett," he said again. "I had no right."

"First you insult me and then you are sorry?" his lack of nerve only served to fuel her anger. "Of course you have no right to talk to me like that. To talk about Rhett like that. What wrong has he ever done to you? Why do you loathe him so much?"

"I don't loathe him," he protested.

"No? Then explain this to me," she provoked him. "Why didn't you feel like this about Frank? I was married to him too. He was touching me too. Yet you didn't care much about it, did you? Why is that? Because he was old? Because he wasn't good-looking? Because you felt superior?"

"Scarlett," he cried incredulously.

"At least Frank helped me save Tara. What did you do about it? Well, answer me. What did you do?" she demanded.

He remained silent, only dropped his head in shame.

"My point exactly. You did nothing. You saw how desperate I was and you did nothing. You didn't even try to stop me."

"Did Rhett?" his pathetic attempt of a rebut enraged her to the point of blindness.

"Rhett was in jail," she hissed. "There wasn't much he could do from there. Once he was released, he sought me out to make sure I was alright. While the only thing you did was stating what you should have done and how remorseful you were that I sold myself in marriage," she spat with repulsion. "And yet you go on talking about what Rhett did or didn't, like you know anything about it. Like you know him. Well, let me tell you this, Ashley Wilkes. You don't have the slightest idea about who Rhett is and what he has done for me. And it's definitely much more than you have ever done or ever do. So, criticize your doings for a change and leave him or me out of it."

She couldn't stay there any longer or she would slap him.

"And try to remember this the next time you will be tempted to speak your mind," an underlying warning that couldn't be overlooked. "Where would you be if it wasn't for Rhett and me. Good day."

And with that she turned around and walked out of the office making sure to bang the door loudly behind her.

"Just drive around for a while," she told her driver.

She couldn't go home. Not yet. She was still so angry. Rhett shouldn't see her like that or he would know that something was wrong. A shiver run down her spine as she tried to imagine his reaction to all these. She couldn't tell him. Rhett must never hear of this conversation.

The things he had said! How dared he criticize her for her choices in business and in marriage? Ashley of all people. He who knew what they've been through to survive and how far they had come since those awful days. They wouldn't even have survived without Rhett. What would have become of them if he hadn't been there when she and Melly and Beau needed him? They would have never made it out of Atlanta without him. He stole the carriage and the horse, he drove it away from trouble and out of the city. And when she needed the money to buy the mills? Frank would have never given his consent. She had worked so hard to make them a successful business. She had risked everything in the process. Her reputation, her friends, her own safety even. And she would do it all over again if she had to. The mills were her pride, the living proof of everything she had accomplished with her own bare hands. Her personal triumph over poverty and starvation. And Ashley had the audacity to judge her for the way she was running them? Why, the absurdity of it! He had no head for business. He had done nothing to increase their profits, nothing but daydreaming about the past and finding excuses about his incompetence all the time. Much like he had been doing ever since he came back from the War.

An hour ago she would have been appalled by her own thoughts. Yet now, after what had transpired between them, she knew the truth beyond any doubt. Every thought in her mind, every word she had spoken was nothing but the plain truth. Was he always like that? she inevitably wondered. Had she been so blind she refused to see him for who he really was? Had Rhett been right all along? The realization wounded her deeply. And she couldn't tell which one hurt the most. That she had been a blind fool for so many years or that Rhett proved to be right once again. Why hadn't she listened to him? He had told her about Ashley, he knew from the very start. But her stubbornness and her feelings for Ashley had stood in the way. Where had her feelings gone? When did this happen and why? She couldn't tell. She only knew for sure that they weren't there anymore. They were gone for good leaving nothing but disappointment and emptiness behind. A huge gap inside her she knew not how to fill.

That and a growing headache.

"Let's go home now, please," she ordered the driver.

She massaged her temples with her palms. She needed a bath, a hearty meal and a nap. And to hold her daughter. Why did she go to the mills in the first place? She could have taken Bonnie for a walk instead of throwing away her morning listening to Ashley's nonsense. What a waste! she sighed. Soon enough she saw her house at the end of the road and she smiled against her will, her spirits lifting instantly. She was almost there. Once home, she thought keenly, she would be just fine.

Every time I read what Ashley dared to say to her, I get as angry as Scarlett was here! So many hidden insults in his words and in the book, she did nothing but watch him in awe waiting for him to kiss her! Great balls of fire! But in here, things have progressed differently. Rhett had Scarlett on his own for five-six months during the pregnancy and the postpartum period without interruptions and he made the best out of it! Even though he doesn't know it yet! ;-) When I had Scarlett saying carelessly that she was going to the mills, I couldn't keep myself from laughing! The image was so alive in my head. She was indeed going to the mills without hidden intentions, but Rhett got it the wrong way! I always thought she can be so accidentally naive most of the times!

Anyway, that's what I think! But what about you? How do you find it?

Coming next, the aftermath! Mostly R&S with a little surprise!

Until next time, take care! xxx