The Merchant of Tolerance, or Director Gets Flamed

You know, I was an actor once. Yes, yes, just like this blue - haired ejit you might have known. Not being as tall - and definitely not being as colorful - I had to wear some huge platform shoes to make myself visible for the noble audience. They were sitting on some riddiculously high chairs, as if they could not form a decent circle and sit around the stage like good kids should. They called it an amphitheathre and claimed it was ancient. Well, they should be ashamed of not being able to create something better when they had so much time to do so, right? Anyway, I was playing the main part. The director was charmed with my wits... I dare say, with my looks, as well, I was a young handsome gnome once, and the amphitheathre was not the only ancient thing this director liked, but hush, do not say it to anyone.
The play was called 'The Merchant Of Faerun'. Some bad people said that I was given the main role because the play was 'racist' and the director wanted to show how tolerant he was, but do not believe them.
And so, I put my costume on, with those insane shoes as well. I was able to take like five steps before finally collapsing. What a fall it was! My raven, twas a beautiful disaster, as some half - wits would say.
It was a disaster, all right, but not a beautiful one. I fell on a torch, the torch fell on the scene, the scene was set on fire, my fellow actress got burned, she bumped into her hairdresser when she was escaping from the theathre, the hairdresser fell on the floor and the director fell on her, nobody knows, why.
Of course, we managed to save everyone, still, the theathre was a complete mess. The director flew in a rage - after he got up, of course - and said that he will never hire a gnome again. Some bloke called him a racist. The director was furious. He went throgh all this just to show he was not racist. So he stands there, among all the staring people, and goes like: 'I can't be racist, you homophobe'
And he hugged me, juck.