Hey all. I don't have a lot to say except that again, this isn't really a plot rich chapter, but it is a necessary chapter for any baby story, and I'm pretty sure you all knew it was coming. I know this story is moving kind of slowly, but the plot will develop at some point, I promise. It's just taking me longer to get there than I thought. But hopefully you can find some enjoyment in between :P
They finally reached Urahara's.
"You'd prefer if he didn't know you were here, right?" Karin asked knowingly.
"Yeah, but I have no idea how to get a gigai otherwise." Karin smirked.
"Leave that to me," she said mischievously. "You wait out here. I've got a plan." Hitsugaya was pretty convinced that no one on earth could heckle even a button out of Urahara, but he decided, if anyone could do it, it would probably be Karin.
"Alright," he acquiesced. "Give it your best shot." As Karin went inside, Hitsugaya increased the strength of the reiatsu suppressing kido barrier that he had placed around both himself and Hoshi. If anyone could sense anything through those barriers, it would be Urahara, and Hitsugaya was not particularly keen on making his presence known to him, not only to protect Hoshi, but also because he just couldn't stand the man. He was almost as annoying as Ichigo.
Half an hour later, Karin emerged from the Urahara shop, beaming triumphantly.
"Here you go!" she proclaimed, tossing two small black spheres at Hitsugaya. "Universal gigais. They take the shape of whoever merges their reiatsu with them. Hitsugaya gaped at her.
"How did you get these?" he marveled. Karin smiled vindictively.
"Oh, Urahara-san," she pleaded, gazing up at an invisible person with the most over-exaggerated puppy dog eyes Hitsugaya had ever seen. He honestly didn't think she was capable of making such a face. "You're such a talented inventor. But I was thinking the other day how horribly useless it is that gigais must be specially crafted for each person. I'm sure a brilliant man like yourself would have no trouble making a universal gigai." Karin pulled a disgusted face. "I swear, it is so easy to stroke that man's ego. He's got a head the size of his basement. Anyway, he went in the back for a bit and came out with these. Turns out he was working on them anyway."
"Where did you learn how do to that?" Hitsugaya asked, impressed but not willing to actually admit it. "That was so out of character for you, I can't believe he didn't see right through you." Karin smirked.
"Again, the ego. You've just got to know the limits of how much sucking up a person can take before they realize that you're doing it. With Urahara, it's practically infinite, but it's an art, let me tell you. I use it on my teachers all the time."
"You're quite scary, you know that?" Hitsugaya said, shaking his dead.
"Damn right!" Karin stated with pride. "And don't you forget it!" Just then, muffled cries began to emanate from under Hitsugaya's cloak.
"I bet he's hungry," Hitsugaya said as he pulled the baby into his arms and rocked him awkwardly. "He hasn't had anything to eat since I left Seireitei. And that was almost three hours ago."
"He probably needs a new diaper too," Karin added, leaning over to sniff him.
"Yup!" She waved her hand back and forth across her face to try and erase the smell. "Ew, Ichi-nii was right! Babies do smell! Do you have a spare diaper?"
"A what?" Karin gave him a deadpan look.
"Are you serious?" she groaned. "Wow, you really do know nothing about babies. Well, give that gigai a try and let's get out of here. I think you really need to go shopping." Hitsugaya ignored her jab at him, the fact that it was true wouldn't have helped him any, and passed her the screaming Hoshi so that he could merge with the gigai.
"Hey, not bad," Karin noted, as she watched him check all his joints. "It's at least as good as your old one."
"Yeah, but it's a bit harder to move in," he grumbled. "Plus, now I really am cold." The gigai had supplied him with a standard school uniform, but it wasn't prepared for the current deep freeze. Hitsugaya shivered furiously as he merged the second gigai with Hoshi. The baby seemed to take to it rather well. As Hoshi's reiastu flared during the merger, Hitsugaya noticed that it seemed to have a very similar quality to his mother's, although there was also something distinctly Aizen about it. Hitsugaya didn't much appreciate that, but there was nothing he could do about it. It wasn't Hoshi's fault he had an evil traitor for a father.
"Come on," Karin prompted. "Let's get you a coat before we do anything else. Otherwise the ice prince might actually freeze to death." Hitsugaya nodded, too cold to actually speak.
"Damn these gigais!" he cursed, rubbing his arms for warmth. "Why do they have to have normal human limitations?" Karin took pity on him and passed him her hat and scarf.
"They're not much, but they're better than nothing." Hitsugaya was too cold to complain. He took them gratefully and pulled them on. Karin tucked Hoshi inside her coat and they headed off in search of desperately needed supplies.
"You really came unprepared," Karin scolded as they walked. "No coat, no baby food, no diapers."
"Shhh…shuuuttttt…uuuppp…" Hitsugaya stuttered, his teeth clanking together so hard he thought they might crack.
"I thought you were supposed to be responsible," Karin continued undeterred. "It's like you didn't even know you were coming."
"I didn't!" Hitsugaya barked, the argument distracting him mildly from the icicles forming in his bloodstream. "Hoshi was born two months early! I wasn't expecting this to happen at all."
Karin opened her mouth to respond, but just then they turned a corner and Hitsugaya saw a store with several white statues in haughty poses wearing big puffy coats similar to Karin's. Hitsugaya had been dragged into enough clothing stores by Matsumoto to recognize this as one instantly, and he dashed inside before Karin could start talking. Shaking her head in amusement, Karin followed.
After getting Hitsugaya outfitted properly for the winter, they went to the back of the store where there was a small selection of baby clothes.
"I'm no good at this stuff," Hitsugaya mumbled as he sifted through the piles of powder blue jumpsuits.
"What's to be good at?" Karin shrugged, grabbing a handful. "He's an infant. It doesn't really matter what he wears, as long as he doesn't look horrendous." She held up an electric pink jumpsuit covered in floral print lace and complete with a frilly tutu.
"See, as long as you don't buy this, I'd say your taste is pretty good."
They also bought a baby snowsuit, which unfortunately had bunny ears. It was the only one available.
"Stupid humans," Hitsugaya complained as they paid. "Not all babies have to like bunnies." After the clothing spree, they trudged their way to a pharmacy and loaded themselves up with baby formula, bottles, diapers, wipes, baby powder, a pacifier, and basically anything else available in the baby aisle.
"Do we really need all this stuff?" Hitsugaya asked curiously, gazing at a teething ring shaped like a spool of keys.
"No," Karin said, taking it from him. "He won't get teeth for months. We're buying enough as it is, don't get extra junk. Unless that was for you." Hitsugaya glared at her.
"You know, if we were in Soul Society you would never get away with saying stuff like that to me."
"Yeah, but we're not in Soul Society," Karin replied, finding a plain baby bottle and eagerly exchanging it for the one covered in ducks that was already in the cart. "We're on my turf, and you need my help. So you're stuck with my jeering. Unless you want to do this thing by yourself." As if to emphasize her point, Hoshi took that opportunity to start screaming again, and Hitsugaya grudgingly took him from Karin and attempted vainly to calm him down.
"Excuse me!" Karin called to a nearby employee. "Is there somewhere we can change a baby?"
"There's a changing table in the bathroom," the employee replied in a bored voice.
"Come on," Karin prompted, but Hitsugaya didn't budge.
"What do you mean, 'change a baby?'" he asked warily. "We're not changing him! He's not going anywhere!" It took Karin a moment to realize that he was serious and when she finally did, she burst out laughing.
"Oh, Toushiro!" she gasped, wiping her eyes. "Oh you poor, naive little boy."
"I'm not a…" Hitsugaya began, but Karin had already taken the baby from him and begun walking towards the bathroom.
"I'm going to change him without you if you don't hurry!" she taunted, emphasizing the word 'change.' Hitsugaya scowled, wondering what the word actually meant, and followed her.
They squeezed inside the small one room bathroom and Karin lay Hoshi down on a rickety looking table in the corner.
"This is a pathetic changing table," she commented. "Most places nowadays have those fancy plastic ones that hang right on the wall."
"What, are you going to sacrifice him on an alter to a pagan god?" Hitsugaya asked incredulously, observing the scene. Karin laughed again.
"Wow, you are so clueless it hurts. When I said 'change,' I meant his diaper."
"You still haven't told me what a diaper is!" Hitsugaya retorted. Karin decided that showing him would be easier.
"It's this," she replied, pulling one out of the cart. "It collects his…um…excrement."
"Oh," Hitsugaya mumbled, feeling incredibly stupid. God, he hadn't felt dumb this many times in a single day in as long as he could remember.
Karin looked from the diaper to the baby and back several times before sighing deeply.
"But that's about all I know about diapers," she admitted. "I've never actually changed one before."
"What?!" Hitsugaya cried, suddenly feeling very helpless and hating it immensely. Karin rolled her eyes.
"Oh it can't be so hard," she said optimistically. She took a deep breath, rolled up her sleeves, and got to work. She began by undressing Hoshi and removing the cloth diaper he was wearing.
"Are you really so primitive that you're still using cloth diapers up there?" Karin asked in amusement as she pinched the edges between the tips of her fingers to touch as little of it as possible while throwing it in the trash.
"Don't look at me," Hitsugaya defended. "I didn't even know what a diaper was until a second ago. Besides, I've already told you, we don't have a lot of babies in Seireitei. And Hoshi was born early. We're not exactly prepared to take care of them."
"Yeah, whatever," she brushed him off. She looked back at the now naked Hoshi. "Come on, help me figure this out." Hitsugaya took the diaper from her and studied it from all angles. He had never seen anything like it before. It was white and puffy, like cotton, but with a slightly tougher consistency. The surface was relatively shiny, and seemed plasticy, although it was extremely flexible. He saw a large seam running down three of the sides and unfolded it carefully.
"It's not made of gold you know?" Karin mocked, highly entertained by the amount of concentration Hitsugaya was putting into his inspection of the diaper.
"Shut up," he growled. He decided to try wrapping it around Hoshi like a hot dog, but that turned out to be entirely ineffective. He tried patting it, folding it, rolling it, and scrunching it, but no matter what he did, he couldn't manipulate it in any way that would actually make it stay on Hoshi's body.
"How do you do this?!" Hitsugaya cried in frustration. He found it horribly demeaning that he, the 10th squad taicho, was locked in a tiny bathroom with a sarcastic human and a naked baby, attempting the pathetic task of putting on a simple diaper and failing miserably. Matsumoto would have a stroke laughing if she saw him.
"It really can't be that hard," Karin said, trying to muffle her snickers. Hitsugaya glared at her, then held out the diaper.
"If it's so easy then you try…" he began, but was cut off as a warm liquid suddenly squirted him in the face.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" he screamed, dropping the diaper in his shock and jumping backwards, only to bash into the toilet and crash unceremoniously onto the floor. Karin was clutching her sides and gripping the changing table for support as her laughter threatened to split her face open.
"What was that?" Hitsugaya hissed, rubbing his knee which had smashed into the toilet and reaching for a paper towel to wipe his face at the same time.
"Hoshi…Hoshi peed on you!" Karin explained, then doubled over again in a new round of laughter. Hitsugaya turned bright red.
"What?" he asked in a strangled voice. He had never been more revolted. Skipping the towel completely, he dove right for the sink, turned on the water, and stuck his entire head under the stream.
"Is everything ok in there?" called a voice from the other side of the door. "I'm coming in." The door opened to reveal the same acne-ridden, scrawny teenage employee who had directed them to the bathroom in the first place.
"I heard the crash…" he began, but his voice trailed off as he took in the incredibly bizarre scene in front of him. Hitsugaya still had his head in the sink and was apparently trying to drown himself. Karin was laughing so hard she was having difficulty breathing. And Hoshi had begun to cry again, most likely due to the noise in the room, which had become deafening.
"Do ya'll need some help?" the employee asked awkwardly. Hitsugaya removed his head from the sink and looked up at him.
"Do you know how to put on a diaper?" he asked hopefully. He knew he sounded pathetic, but at the moment, with his hair sopping wet from water and…something Hitsugaya didn't even want to think about…he really didn't care.
"Sure," the employee said with a shrug. "I change my kid brother all the time." He took a new diaper from the bag (the one Hitsugaya had been using more closely resembled a dead cat than a diaper) and deftly and expertly put it on in under a minute. Hitsugaya observed intently and even Karin paused in her laughing fit to watch. He then showed them the proper way to mix the baby formula, how to hold Hoshi as he ate, and how to burp him properly afterwards.
"So what'er you two doin' with a baby when you clearly don't know a thing about 'em?" he asked as he patted Hoshi on the back. "He ain't yours, is he?"
"Of course not!" Hitsugaya stated soundly. "He's my…ah…"
"Brother," Karin finished for him. "His mom sent them out to bond, but this one," she jabbed a thumb at Hitsugaya, "was too arrogant to ask for instructions first." She winked at Hitsugaya behind the employee's back. He scoffed.
"Alright," the employee shrugged, handing Hoshi back to Hitsugaya. "Just don't forget to pay fer all them stuff you got in that cart." Hitsugaya thanked him profusely for his help, then went to the register to pay. His wallet was significantly lighter, his budget for this mission not being nearly large enough so had had to pay for a good portion of it with his own money, but he was feeling a little more confident on the caring for a baby front.
"That guy was really helpful," he said as they trundled back through the snow towards Karin's house with their purchases.
"Yeah, so you learned how to take care of a baby from some minimum wage hick employee at the local pharmacy. You must be so proud." Hitsugaya scowled. His hair was still wet and he could feel it start to freeze to his scalp, but Hoshi seemed to be comfortably warm in his new snowsuit and was looking up at Hitsugaya with his chocolate brown eyes.
"You just might be more trouble than you're worth, you know that?" he said affectionately to the bunny in his arms. Hoshi simply blinked.
I apologize profusely to everyone who really wanted an Urahara moment in this chapter. Don't worry, it will happen eventually, but the point of him in this chapter is to show Karin's sweet talking skills, which will be important later. Hopefully the postponement of an Urahara/baby scene gives you something to look forward to rather than turning you off (fingers crossed).