"Sorry for bothering you on such a lovely morning Nana-chan" I said as Nana, the owner of the salon put the finishing touch on my hair.
"Maa, it's alright! You're a precious customer after all~" she sang happily.
"That's because my father gets the bill.." I muttered under my breath.
"What did you say Yuu-chan?"
I looked in the mirror where she was behind me, her face scarier than an ogre, holding a pair of scissors menacingly. Shivers went down my spine.
"No–nothing Nana-chan. Ahahaha" I laughed nervously. Her intimidation level on me beats my dad. Maybe because she's a woman. Yeah that may be the cause.
"I heard that you had a baby with that Oga boy," she nonchalantly said while snipping some of the hair that aren't the same length with the others.
I choked on my tea. (tasteless, but my throat is dry so whatever)
"WHERE DID YOU HEARD THAT?!"
"Oh, here and there. I've got spies everywhere you know~" she winked at me.
"Nana-chan, I'm still a fucking virgin,"
"Still with the coarse languange, I see. Anyway, your father will love this juicy info," she took off the canvas thing that covered my body.
"The language or the baby?" I asked, looking at my hair in the mirror. Perfect.
"Both~"
"Oh come on Nana-chan! You're not that stupid to see that the baby isn't mine or Tatsumi's! I can't have a baby out of the blue!"
"Your father is going to love receiving the updates about you Yuu-chan~" Great. She's ignoring me.
Oh and did I tell you that she's a good friend of my old man?
The bell at the front door of the salon rang.
"Welcome sir! How may I–" Nana's greetings were cut short. Why?
Because Alaindelon walked in with his pink boxers and tank top. (Nana dropped her scissors)
And walked straight to me.
And split his body in half. (I thought Nana's eyes are gonna pop out of her sockets)
And pushed me in his fucking dimensional body.
Ooohh I'm going to enjoy fixing his face after this. No matter how awesome his mustache is.
####
His body split open after a while. I dramatically tried to get out of his body, only to sink in water.
I've experienced the feels that Titanic gets when she sunk. Poor ship.
Did I also tell you that I can't swim?
No?
Well bud, now you know my weakness.
As I drowned, I felt someone pulling me upwards towards the light...
Please don't tell me i died. I haven't told Tatsumi that I was the one who ate his croquettes last week.
Only to get pulled to Tatsumi's chest. Speak of the devil, then he shall appear.
"Your ability to drown is improving Yuu," he mocked me. I clung on to him like a monkey "Shut your trap Tatsumi! I just did my hair, man! Damn you!" I headbutted him. Hey, I'm not letting go of him and risk drowning again!
Wait... That statement oddly sounds like a confession.
And I think I'm forgetting something here... Oh right, my hair.
HOLY CRAPSTICK MY HAIR!
"Did the colour came off?!"
He checks my head "It looks fine to me," Then I noticed my arms were wrapped around his neck tightly to avoid drowning, both my legs are wrapped around his waist, pressing myself to him. His arms, were also wrapped around my waist, to ensure that I don't go to the depths of watery hell again. His cheeks seem to redden a bit when he realised what i realised.
My heart beat exccelerated.
I can feel the heat creeping up to my face.
What the hell is happening?
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, letting go of him (accidently.. I swear) and his grip on me faltered because I pushed myself away from him. And I almost drowned again. But thankfully Tatsumi grabbed me (again) and wrapped his arm around my waist (again) and held me tightly against him (I choked on air holy shit) and looked at me weirdly.
"Why the fuck did you let go? Do you want to drown in this pool of pee?"
"I accidently let go cause you we–what did you say? Pee?" I looked at him, still flustered because of his actions (was he this manly all those years ago? His body is warm..) and bewildered because, a pool of pee?
Did I just drown and swallowed pee? More importantly I'm floating in a pool of pee?
"WHAT?!"
"OI DON'T SHOUT AT MY FUCKING EAR STUPID YUU!"
"BUT I JUST DROWNED IN A POOL OF PEE DUDE, I REPEAT, A POOL OF PEE AND THE POOL HAPPENS TO BE YOUR ROOM AND I WAS BOUGHT HERE BY THAT FUC–"
"Your peeing is incredible as always, Young Master!" A voice said. Beel made a sound ('ai?'). All of us turned to the voice which came from the window of Tatsumi's... pee pool.
"Floating... Floating... Floating..." Lo and behold, Alaindelon came in through the window, swimming as if this was a normal, chlorine-ish pool. "Float and stop!" He stopped right infront of us (oh how I wish to beat him into oblivion right now) and split his body into two to reveal...
"Oi where are you taking me?"
Furuichi. Eroichi. Creepichi. Silver haired Ero-Creep. I really love my naming skills.
"Wait this is–" Before he got to finish his sentence, he drowned. And Tatsumi just floated there with me clinging onto him, not moving an inch to help his friend.
"Maa, I simply wished to show Furuichi-sama this splendid urination!" He closed his eyes "It brings back memories,yes... back in the Demon World my daughter and I would often amuse ourselves floating down the urine..."
I pulled a face. And we just watched as Furuichi drown in Beel's pool if pee. I held back a laugh.
Seeing Furuichi drown is so entertaining.
Not that I'm a sadist or something...
Furuichi emerged from the urine "You go tubing down urine?!" He made some noises and finished his sentence with "Help me!"
Aaaaaannd went back into the water.
"Oi, do something about this flood already" Tatsumi said, looking at Hilda who is, the only one not wet and happily looking at us soaking in Beel's pee while floating in the air on her pet, ak-baba (Hilda told me its name yesterday as I expressed my interest in its cuteness..)
"Or maybe I can pull her in to join us have a little swim eh?" I grumbled. It's not fair!
She ignored me. "Humans, honestly.."
She sighed. "So be it."
####
"What the hell?" Tatsumi said, taking the words out of my mouth. We looked at the weird..thing covering Beel's private part. He looked so pitiful...
"Ooh, how fierce!" Alaindelon chriped. Aah! Right! I have a mission to do! I took a few steps towards Alaindelon and bonked his head. Hard. He yelped.
"What is that for, Yuu-sama?!" He said, cradling his head. "What for? FOR BRINGING ME HERE JUST AFTER I FINISHED MY HAIR MAINTAINENCE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I huffed. The other occupants stared at me. "What? Oh, carry on, carry on~"
Hilda sighed, a bored expression on her face "It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his urine into an alternate dimension. It is called, 'Peebeegone,'"
"It sounds cutesy." Furuichi said, looking at the thing "It's just a joke, right?" I rolled my eyes. Seriously, he still does not believe it? "Yuu, did you just rolled your eyes on me?"
"Yup. And the name is literally the function of the thing. It looks like a pot to me."
"Joke, no joke, it doesn't matter. This way the city can stay above water level," Tatsumi said, relieved.
"No, it will flood," Hilda voiced out nonchalantly.
"Eh?" All of us turned to the wet nurse (Beel raised his head)
"Although it's an alternate dimension, it is not infinite. It will only last 2 to 3 hours," She continued, looking at us boredly.
"What?!" Classic Tatsumi speaking.
"Can't we just replace it with a new one?" Good question Furuichi!
"There is no spare."
Of course. Why would there be any spare anyway.
"What?!"
"Stop saying 'what' Tatsumi, it's not gonna help," I said as I looked down at my clothes. it's drenched. I sighed. My combat boots are wet too...
I sat down on Tatsumi's bed (which made a 'squlech' sound) and procceded to take my shoes off. I wasn't really concentrating on the conversation that continued to flow, I was too busy self pitying my boots. They're my favourite, dammit! Then I noticed that both of them sat on the floor. What's happening?
"We've gotta rip out our brains!" Tatsumi determinedly said. All of us turned our heads to him.
"You mean, muster our knowledge..." Furuichi righted his words.
"Rip them out!"
"Uh, whatever you say, but don't involve me in it," Furuichi held his hand out, as if to stop him.
"But you're the only one I can count on!" My eye twitched. Oh? So I'm not countable? "You got a good idea right?"
So I don't have any brilliant ideas? Fine. I stayed silent.
"No I don't. And i don't wanna come up with one." Furuichi refused Tatsumi's request "Why not ask Yuu?"
Tatsumi's head snapped towards me so fast, I thought he was going to break his neck. He looked at me and stared.
"Hmph. You're not getting any ideas from me." I turned my head away, closing my eyes. "Come on Yuu! You're the mother!" He desperately said. I peeked open my eye and saw him turn back to Furuichi and said "You better come up with one!" He loudly said "Come up with one, or it's comin' out, got it?" He grabbed Beel and threateningly pointed Beel ('dabu') at Furuichi.
"That's not even close to funny! What's with that face?!" I silently observed my two, idiotic, plain stupid friends. I sighed. Why am i with them again? Oh right they're my friends. I just said it two seconds ago. I tuned out their argument and put on my boots again. Hey, even though it is entertaining sometimes it can get bored. Besides, they bicker like an elderly married couple.
I just finished tying my left boot when Tatsumi pulled me up with Beel in his hands and opened his bedroom door "Furuichi, you handle cleaning up the house!"
"Wait, what do you mean?! What should I do with everything soaked like this?! He ran to us as we decended the stairs, Tatsumi pulling me with him. "Fix it back up like it was! Countin' on ya!"
We ran out of the house, Tatsumi still pulling me and Beel on his back. "Just you wait Baby Beel! They said no leaks, no matter the amount!" I almost fell at his gullibility (is that even a word?)
"Uh Tatsumi they're just commercials.."
"The diaper doesn't leak Yuu!"
"Commercials tend to lie..."
"...JUST GO WITH IT!"
"Fine, fine..." I looked back to Beel, who was happy ( his eyes are sparkling...again) that Tatsumi's running fast.
Well, at least someone was enjoying.
####
Ssup guys. I kinda dissapeared for awhile because of school and my lazyness , ufufufu~ i dont know if i'll regularly update though and i might go on hiatus cause of 'the big exam'... Buuuuut thats a different story. Sorry if its dull. BUT I WILL UPDATE WHEN IM FREE MUAHAHAHAHHAHA
im out.