A/N: Very quickly, thank you for any reviews I couldn't respond to. I did attempt, lol! Also, I published a fanmix I made for this fic over at 8tracks. I'll have the link up later today in my profile in case anyone wants to listen to it.

Chapter Four:

The next time she laid eyes on him, it was no dream and it was no visitation. She had hitched a ride with Poe and a small crew to Takodana to scavenge through the remnants of what remained of Maz's castle. Maz herself had abandoned her post and though she had vanished without leaving a destination with anyone, she had peered closely into Rey's eyes before she had left and had told her that they would meet again.

With the ruins and the debris all around, Rey found herself a bit adrift. There had been so much here to be discovered, memories to unearth, secrets to be unveiled, and she had run from it. There was nothing to be found now except ashes and a deep well of anger directed at herself. She had been here with Han Solo, had helped pilot the Millennium Falcon to this place and even now she felt a deep pain that he was no longer here with her, helping her, condescending to her good-naturedly the way an unwilling mentor would have. The way he should have.

There had been so much ahead of her and the mere thought of it threatened to twist her into tears. She had almost had a family, people to guide her in this new part of her life.

Now what did she have? Confusion and a path that she was still uncertain about to the very day.

"I need to make some adjustments to the Explorer. The trip was a bit clunky, did you feel it?" Poe asked behind her and she snapped awake, turning to face him.

"I did," she replied, quickly recovering. "Do you need help?"

A smile quirked the pilot's mouth. "Nah. You do what you have to do. It shouldn't take me long. I'm going to send the crew out, have them pick through this mess and see what we can bring back to the general."

Rey merely nodded. Casting a long look over the destruction of the castle, her eyes instead drifted toward the expanse of trees, the route she had taken when she had encountered a certain Master of the Knights of Ren. Squinting slightly, she looked at Poe again. "I need to do something. I don't think it will take long. Is that all right?"

The cheer faltered on Poe's face slightly. "Yeah, sure. Everything okay?"

She nodded again, hoping to maintain a blank expression. "Yes. I will remain in communication with you. I just…need a moment."

Poe stared at her for a long moment. "Okay. Be careful. And call for me if you need anything. I'll be right here."

With a smile that was gone as quickly as it had appeared, Rey turned and began to climb across the debris, heading toward the forest.

Curving through the trees, she tried to remember the path she had taken, the winds in a makeshift road. She narrowed her eyes, brushing back slight tendrils of hair as she spun slowly. Close. She was very close. Her eyes caught on a specific tangle of rock and fallen branch and she felt herself go cold, instinctive. There. Her legs suddenly began to carry her forward and she followed almost helplessly, knowing then where she was going and unable to stop herself.

But at the moment, she didn't want to stop herself. She wanted to see. She needed to see. And she needed to remember, clearly this time. Not flashes of rock and green; she needed to remember every moment of their encounter, every sensation that she had felt when he had appeared. She needed it more in that moment than she had ever needed anything; more than the breath in her lungs and she already knew what it was to need air.

A soft and familiar noise came to life under the sudden roar of her heart but she couldn't focus on that, not now, not yet.

Her previous path led down to a crevice of rock and stone, of falling dirt, tangled branches and moss and she had a flash, understood what the rock felt like under her palm. She reached a hand out still, fingers touching upon the surface and she frowned at it, wanting to remember, wanting to see clearly.

And then came another type of sound, one all too familiar and jarring.

The ice that flashed down her spine was almost painful, seizing her by the neck and causing her to stiffen in place. The sound came again, the hollow metallic fan of a sound, of something cutting through the air and resonating. Her breath suddenly came faster, unstoppable, coming at a full pant as she turned her head through immense effort, afraid to look.

Why had she done this?

The creature that came around that bend of rock held the untamed red lightsaber in his gloved hand and she felt something inside her recoil in terror. She had no blaster in her possession this time and even if she had, she still would have reacted the same way because he was monstrous, inhuman.

Without another look, she turned and ran.

As she bolted she realized what the initial familiar sound had been. Poe's voice was coming through her comlink shrilly, shouting. He must've known he was here, must have seen the Knight's shuttle land. She had been so transfixed by her surroundings, by the need to know, that she had blocked out everything else. Her long legs carried her over fallen branches and logs, through the soil and slippery rock as she ran and she was suddenly furious with herself.

Had she known? Deep down, had she known he would be here, that he would come here today? More so, had he known that he would find her here today? Had she given it away in that bond that Luke believed they somehow shared?

Something tangled in her feet and she went sprawling. Her hands barely caught her but she still slid, dirt flying, her comlink soaring from her belt where she had strapped it. Lunging quickly across the ground, she looked toward the device where it rested. Too far. She debated reaching for it with the Force but at this point she could barely levitate a rock much less drag the comlink to her quickly. She looked over her shoulder and he was suddenly too near, hovering just over her. She immediately scrambled away, all dragging fingers and adrenaline, and the Knight cocked his hooded head at her.

"Has he taught you nothing?" he asked her quietly, his deep voice metallic and emotionless through the mask.

When she didn't respond, he snapped his head to the side, reaching out with flared fingers. The comlink wavered across the ground and then flew into the air, directly into his palm like a rocket.

Rey stared over her shoulder, her chest heaving fearfully.

The Knight turned to look down at her again, dropping his hand at his side as he crushed the comlink in his grip. Poe's voice instantly died away, broken into silence. The pieces of the comlink fell from Kylo Ren's fingers, littering the ground before her and she watched them fall before lifting her gaze back to the mask.

"You would reject my proposal to teach you and for what?" The Knight's shoulders lifted as he inhaled deeply, the mask turning up toward the sky peeking through the canopy of trees overhead. "To be taught by an old man who has long since forgotten how to use the Force properly, who believes in feeling nothing."

Rey turned very slowly onto her back, her legs shifting. She managed to draw away from the tall, dark figure slightly but as his hand tightened on the red lightsaber at his side, she stopped trying to distance herself from him. "I would learn from him before I would ever put my training in your hands," she whispered to him harshly, her jaw clenching.

A small sound issued from behind the mask, one she recognized as a mirthless snort. "Of course. Such a brilliant light could never be conquered," he said with what resembled a sigh. "But…it can be tarnished."

She frowned at him, her lips parting slightly.

With a slight shake of his head, the Knight shifted his saber before backing away a step. "Then let us begin."

Rey's frown persisted. "Begin what?" she questioned.

He didn't reply to that verbally. Turning away from her with what could only have been a flaunting gesture of floating coattails, he instead waved his free hand.

Something at Rey's side shifted and then trembled. Startled, Rey's hand flew to her belt and encountered the hilt of the lightsaber. She reflexively snared it down against her hip to hold it to her side but a moment later she realized that he hadn't attempted to grasp the saber so much as the belt it sat strapped into.

They had fought before on a snowy battlefield to acquire the lightsaber she currently owned and he had failed where she had succeeded. He could not physically possess the saber or call it to his person. Instead he had gone for the belt and this time he had succeeded.

In frightening her.

With another soft chuckle through his mask, Kylo Ren dropped his hand back to his side and strode a few steps before turning to face her once more.

He wanted a duel.

"Why don't you just kill me?" she asked him through gritted teeth from the ground. When he didn't answer, she scrambled to her feet. A part of her wanted to wipe the dirt from her rear, a stupid useless gesture but one she realized she wanted to do to orient herself, to compose herself before him. Anything to not seem so unprepared. "It's what you want, isn't it? Besides offering to train me? Something that I will never allow you to do, just so you know."

"Kill you?" he asked her and he cocked that helmeted head again. Deactivating the red lightsaber, he hitched it on his belt, causing Rey to watch him warily. The gloved hands came up to the helmet, taking hold of it, thumbs reaching to press on the release.

"Keep it on," she ordered him and he paused in the motion. She had no idea where the gall came from, only that she knew what she felt. Her hand flew back to the lightsaber hilt at her waist and tightened around it. "I wish to fight the faceless monster I see before me."

He sighed again under the mask and proceeded to remove it nonetheless. The helmet released with a soft hiss and then he was lifting it from his head to reveal the long, cold face beneath. "Are we to have this same conversation again?" he asked her, no longer muffled and metallic under the helmet. "It is redundant."

It was easier when he had kept the helmet on, she thought with a sinking feeling. At least then she would not have felt anything engaging him in combat. Now with a face behind that darkness, he was again a person, one who was infinitely dangerous and somehow alluring.

His dark eyes lifted to hers and the corner of his mouth quirked faintly. "It makes it harder, does it?" he asked her slowly, almost seductively. "To see me as him rather than to see me as Kylo Ren?"

She knew whom he meant with his words. "Kylo Ren doesn't exist," she said to him and her face turned hard even as she felt an ache deep inside. Her voice came strained, her sentence broken. "But neither does Ben Solo anymore."

If she hadn't been staring so painfully at him, she would have missed the slight shift in his expression. But it was gone within the moment and he turned his face away as he dropped the helmet to the ground beside his feet. As it fell with a hard thump, he merely replied, "You're absolutely right."

And then his hand was lifting to the lightsaber at his waist again. He unhooked it and took it into his palm, facing her once more and now there was nothing on his face except stillness. Blankness.

The sinking feeling returned to her and she quickly scrambled for something to hold off this battle, to talk him out of it. "You won't kill me," she said to him rapidly.

The lightsaber came to jolting life in his palm, the reverberating sound cutting through the stillness, and he merely looked at her silently as if daring her to give him a good reason as to why.

The red glow lit his face and she was suddenly taken back to StarKiller, to the murder of his father on that lonely bridge. She swallowed through a hard lump, her eyes dropping to the lightsaber before flying back to his expressionless face. "You saved me once. You knew if I had stayed in that corridor, in your arms-"

His eyes narrowed.

"So long as I stayed there that I would have died there. And you showed me the way back." She shook her head, fingers tightening on the hilt of her saber again even as she spoke. "You didn't want me dead then and you don't want me dead now. You want to teach me, to train me. But you don't want to see me dead."

He gave her a slow blink, seemed to mull her words over. And then he inhaled deeply, his chest lifting and suddenly he was all the more imposing. He had a tall, lean frame but with the one gesture he seemed so much bigger, canceling out the light all around.

It was in his face, she realized. The monster began there and shifted out of him to encompass him entirely. Even as she watched him, he bowed his head, his dark curls falling around his face and casting deep shadows beneath the sharp bones of his cheeks, the hard lines around his mouth. His broad shoulders shifted beneath his dark uniform, his hand tightening around his lightsaber hilt before loosening again as if testing it. "Allow me to rectify the situation then," he murmured. "I will see you dead if you will not submit yourself to my tutelage." His dark eyes shimmered as he spoke, deep black holes in that pale face. "I can't afford to have you realize just how strong you are, what kind of weapon you can become. Better to solve the problem now than watch you endure and become something considerably more."

Rey's lips parted at his words, her heart beginning to pound. "No."

The Knight motioned to her waist with a slight nod of his head. "Arm yourself," he advised her stonily.

She shook her head at him, her fingers squeezing around the hilt at her waist nonetheless. "No."

Kylo Ren closed his eyes for a long moment, seeming to breathe in time to the world around him. And when his eyes came open, he was already lifting the lightsaber at his side and swinging.

Rey immediately slid backward, grappling with the hilt of her saber. The wild red lightsaber sliced in a wide arc and she would only realize later that he had never meant to harm her, that he had only meant to spur her into defending herself and she had walked right into his trap. She had her own lightsaber in her palm a moment later as Kylo Ren recoiled and stood ready again with his weapon falling to his side comfortably. As he watched, she brought the hilt to her waist and ignited it with both hands, one palm stacked over the other, feeling the power jar her as it always did when she activated it.

The expression on his face spoke more than any words he could've spilled then. Satisfaction. Primal lust at the power he beheld. And attraction to her, a moth to a flame. She found herself jolted by that for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly, but she pushed it away quickly.

She would show him what flames did to moths.

Angrily, she charged at him, the saber swinging in her hands. The Knight drew back, his eyes following her movement instinctively, the arc of her weapon as it shone across his face in passing and turned his skin a vibrant aqua with its light. Rey brought the blade down and then immediately swung again, slicing upward. He allowed it to slide past him easily as he bent his torso away. Even as she charged, he moved to avoid her effortlessly in the face of her swings. His lightsaber came up only to parry, his strength ringing through his weapon as he deflected her strikes, forcing her away as she engaged.

She didn't understand, didn't know how she had done it the last time. She knew she was unskilled with the lightsaber and she regretted how slow her training was progressing. But she had been fluid once before in her battle with him, had left him a reminder on his face as a testament to her strength; she was staring the reminder head on, cloaked in the blue of her saber, the thin shining scar that crossed his pale face almost angrily. But now she was all brash assaults and no coordination, no strategy. And he knew it. He had yet to actually attack her, his lightsaber swinging, his body spinning as he parried and deflected. He battled her and defended himself with a style that avoided harming her even from the searing erratic wildness of the saber's crossguard.

And she hated to admit that he was beautiful. As she fought to drive him back, to inflict damage, he was agile and lithe in evading her attacks, a long lean shadow. Even as he spun, giving her full advantage of his back, she couldn't seem to get one strike in as his red lightsaber would suddenly appear to counter her and push her off.

"This is what you wanted!" she shouted at him almost in frustration in the midst of a breath.

His dark eyes flew to her face, momentarily leaving the swing and slash of her weapon though he still brushed it off with a swipe of his blade. "Yes," he answered easily, that deep voice of his sounding almost disappointed. "And you are left wanting."

His response left her boiling. She attempted more strength, a faster strike, more movement. And he still easily deflected her except now he was no longer playing games. He parried an assault from her and swung his blade in a circle, causing her own lightsaber to lock and follow his. He brought the blades upward outside of her range, the light energy of the sabers attempting to recoil from each other at every moment, and she barely had a chance to drag her blade back in before he swung again in a wide arc, still outside of her reach but close enough to have her withdraw. She staggered backward across fallen branches and dirt and then spun in the middle of the duel, looking over her shoulder before retreating and running.

He was brought back to the day he had fought her in the snow on Starkiller, in the white landscape of snow-topped trees and pale darkness. How she would attack recklessly in an attempt to penetrate his defenses, to allow herself a moment to move, the advantage to run from him. His instincts had thrilled at the way she had dashed and he had realized then how much he enjoyed the chase of things, a predator after his prey. But to have her would be a prize beyond all things and he had wanted her. He had wanted her, more than he had wanted anything before. He had wanted her at his side, in his thoughts, under his training. In his bed. He had wanted to mold her then into the perfect weapon even if it meant displacing himself on the pedestal for Snoke. She would be his offering to the Supreme Leader and to the Dark Side, would cement him firmly in league with the First Order the way he never felt he had been before. She had been beautiful in her fury and he had wanted to conquer that, to nurse it into something more. To make her realize what emotion, what anger, could bring about, what sort of havoc it could wreak.

Now he trailed her as she made the same errors, as she repeated her earlier steps to escape him. He followed and he felt a satisfaction deep inside, a longing that wouldn't be quelled. How often would he have to shadow her like this, chase her, before she became his? Before she allowed herself to fall to him?

She stumbled in mid-flight and the mistake brought her down to a knee roughly. He was upon her in an instant, his lightsaber deflecting hers as she threw it up frantically to defend herself. His weapon shoved her blue blade aside and wedged it into the ground at their side, stabbing it in deep and holding it there under his own saber. And then his free arm lashed out, his hand taking hold of her by the chin roughly and he brought her face up to lock eyes with his.

He was taller than she had originally thought. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that she had rarely found herself in a position to appreciate his height. At the very least he towered a half foot over her while she stood and now, on her knees before him, his darkness only served to exaggerate the difference. He was a shadow that blocked the sun, casting darkness over her world.

She found herself locked with him, her light eyes to his black stare, his fingers tight on her chin. Even as she fought to turn her attention to her blade embedded in the dirt beside them, she couldn't pull her gaze away, couldn't yank herself out of his grip. But it wasn't a physical restraint; he had her with the deep pits of his eyes, the clench to his jaw, the curling hair. He was barely breathing as compared to her heavy pants. She blinked up at him rapidly, her heart pounding in her ears, her entire body seizing in fear.

I will never surrender to you. Never.

His head tilted, snapping to the side a bit as his brow furrowed and she realized desperately that he had heard her words, had dragged her thoughts from her very mind. His eyes had not left hers though and as she breathed harshly that dark stare focused on her, drawing her in toward him. She found herself heaving, her body struggling to remain upright from the weariness of sparring with him, of having to deal with him head on. He was a powerful presence and she couldn't have looked away or turned from him even if she had tried. She was locked in his hold, her blade lodged into the ground under his red saber and dragging dirt up like a wheel trapped in mud but she couldn't seem to pull her attention away from him. And he sensed it, his fingertips dragging along her skin, his grip on her chin tight. She could only yield to him at this point, as she had wanted to submit numerous times in their bout on that snowy landscape so many months before when he had proven to be formidable even wounded. It was surrender or die trying and she was unwilling to give up her life there to him. He would have to fight her for it and if this was the final moment then she would go with her secrets and her desires untold.

He spoke then as if he had heard her decision, as if he had read it across her face. "So willful," he whispered deeply, his lips barely moving, his dark gaze leaving her eyes and settling on her mouth blankly. "Such anger that you shimmer in the darkness. And you are stunning."

She blinked at him rapidly, her figure rigid in his palm. But her eyes slid shut willingly as he bent his head to hers.

He could still taste her as he watched Takodana slip away beneath the rising shuttle. Staring out the transparisteel windows of the transport, he continued to feel the impression of her lips on his from when he had stolen the kiss from her. After everything, all that had been left for him had been to feel something from her and she had been open to him, restrained but present.

He had kissed her, pressing his mouth to hers and it had taken her a long moment to respond. But when she had, it had been immediate, her head tilting upward to allow him access. The kiss had started small, the mere brush of lips, but at her seeming curiosity, it had turned into more. He had momentarily forgotten all about his blade forcing hers into the ground, had forgotten what they had been fighting about entirely. She had done that to him, erasing everything around them and somehow bringing him directly into her, focusing him on her completely and absolutely. All he had known then was her response to him and when he had forced her lips apart inquisitively, the kiss had turned into more, had turned into something frantic and savage. A moan had trailed out of her at his assault, at his tongue upon hers. He had forgotten himself, his blade locking with hers and falling to the wayside as he had tasted her, as he had taken her in deeply, breathing at one with her.

She had smelled of the trees, of the breeze that had lifted around them in that small clearing. He couldn't remember the last time he had tasted the wind on his tongue but he had found himself suddenly longing for it.

Her hand had lifted to grip his shoulder almost desperately and then it had risen to anchor into the dark curls at the nape of his neck and it had been more than he had been prepared for. He had fallen to a knee right beside her, unexpectedly weak, their blades held in frail grips at their sides. His hand had darted to clamp down on the back of her neck as well, to wrench her against him. Her tongue had become tentative in his mouth but he had prodded her with a deeper kiss, urging her for more, opening her up as he'd tugged her closer. She had responded with renewed curiosity, with a sudden need that neither had anticipated as she had shifted forward, reaching.

And coming back to himself, he had broken from her mouth abruptly, had pressed his forehead to hers to catch his breath. It had come in pants, hers in gasps, and she had clung to him, to his hair as if he had been her lifeline to shore and she hadn't realized she'd been floundering.

He had attempted to understand her internal thoughts, read them from the surface of her mind because his own had been much too chaotic. But hers had been a whirlwind as well and he had tried to shift through them with a grimace, had tried to comprehend her hazy words and the images that had accompanied them. Confusion. Fear. Panic.

Desire-

And her wayward thoughts suddenly shooting at him angrily even as she returned a kiss with a ferocity he hadn't been prepared for, venom hovering between them in the midst of their hunger.

You used me as a shield that day! You tried to save yourself from your own guard! But then you saved me and I don't…I don't understand why-

No, he shook his head roughly, still locked against her lips, still lost in her as he breathed her scent in. No. I tried to stop them. I needed to stop them. You were never a shield-

He had reared back then abruptly, breaking from her mouth and staring at her. He didn't have to explain himself to her, to anyone. In sudden anger at himself that he would disclose as much to her, he had deactivated his lightsaber in a sharp motion, leaving hers to tear at the ground by itself. He had recoiled from her, his hand dropping away from the back of her neck abruptly, feeling how cold his skin felt to part from hers.

For a moment, she hadn't allowed him to go, her fingers firmly anchored in the waves of dark hair at the nape of his neck. The sensation, half arousing, half painful, had torn a sound from him as he had been brought back down, locking him in his kneel before her. He had met her eyes in a fog, lost in her yearning gaze and wanting more from her then than he had been prepared for.

But he had somehow reached up through the haze, his gloved hand taking hold of hers and realizing momentarily how small it felt in his grasp. He had somehow detached her grip from him, staring into her light eyes then as he had merely held her fingers in his. Her gaze had searched his for an answer frantically, for a reason as to why something had just transpired between them.

But he had felt the coldness, the emptiness, return to him as he had finally stood to his feet, dropping her hand coolly. She had remained on the ground, her lightsaber biting into the ground at her side until she had deactivated it vacantly, her wide eyes still caught to him.

He had stared down at her for a long moment, uncertain as to what to say but wanting to return to her then, to drop back to his knees before her and drag her back against his mouth. Drag her closer than his lips, into himself, down deep inside where he knew nothing but darkness and cold for her light to shed warmth.

Instead, merely dropping his eyes away, he had turned on his heel and strode away through what felt like imaginary molasses, his feet almost dragging.

He had swooped down to pick up his helm along the way and he had left her staring after him in silence as he had left her in the Takodana woods.

Preview:

She had been wrong. She had been so wrong. There was no other woman in his arms, pressed between his hard body and the washroom counter. There was no one else because he was here.

He was here.