A/N: Thanks to Dawnfire321 for being my beta. Sorry it took me so long to get this up.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
And how I got to where I am
Kel stared up at the towering doors in front of her. Her eyes skimmed over the carvings that told the stories of so many heroes from long ago. Was she a hero now? She was certainly getting the welcoming of one, but there wasn't a fiber of her being that felt like a hero. She felt tired and there was a leaden ball in the pit of her stomach that seemed to permanently pull her mood down. When the doors swung open she would have to walk along the length of the throne room to the king. She was going to be reintroduced to the court and be formally thanked for bringing home the princess.
Her first time as a knight in a foreign country she had brought back a whole fort's worth of children and no one knew. Her second time she brought back but one child, yet everyone knew and Kel was being publicly celebrated. However, she noted with a wry sense of humor, no formal thanks from the king could match her last reward. Land did not compare to her life, not to mention her shield and the forgiveness of her commander that she had received upon her return from Scanra.
"Why can't I seem to keep myself in this country?" She asked one of the carved figures in front of her. He was a particularly burly man who was in the midst of killing a dragon. He offered her no response.
Their little band had arrived back at the castle in a thunder of hooves and a great cloud of dust. No one was sure why they were riding so hard, but the nearer to the castle they drew, the more their pace had increased. They had bypassed the Own's stables and drawn curious stares as they arrived at the front doors to the palace. Kel had heard a bard declaring that they had arrived with a great flourish. To Kel's mind it was something closer to a natural disaster, their mounts were sweaty, the men were breathing hard and any semblance of order to their riding formation had been lost leagues before. Once it had become clear that they had the missing princess there had been a great deal of running and shouting on the part of the castle inhabitants. Kel had simply slid off her mount with the grace of a drunken stormwing and helped her little girl down. Together with the own and an entire entourage of palace dwellers they had ventured into the palace. Kel and Dom realized that they had not given this step any thought when they reached a cross roads of hallways and Dom started towards his commander's chambers while Kel started towards the training master's office. A great deal of confusion ensued as to where they were to go and where the king was presently.
Finally they were all ushered up to the king's private chambers. They then had to wait for the queen, Prince Jasson, his wife, Roald and Shinko —and what seemed to Kel as every other member of the royal family who was within a ten league radius—to gather. It was as they were waiting that it finally occurred to Kel that she would be losing her girl.
Her original plan had been to find the princess and bring her back; it had not extended even a minute beyond that. However there were several points in the journey when their chances of ever returning to the palace had seemed grim. Her plan had changed from a simple plan to an all-encompassing goal, a shining star promising relief and relaxation, but it had seemed abstract, almost impossible. Somewhere along the way the princess had stopped being "the child" in her mind and had become "her little girl". By the time the two and their recently acquired entourage arrived at the palace gates Kel had more or less forgotten she would not only be bringing the child home, but returning her, giving her up. The challenge had always been getting the child back to the castle. The possibility of pain after that had never occurred to her. In a moment of weakness she had wondered if—had it occurred to her—she would have brought the child home at all. Luckily, she mused, it was far beyond her ability to take back any of her actions. However Kel knew herself, and she knew she would never have truly questioned bringing the child home.
She was pulled from her reflections by the trumpet sounding and the big doors in front of her slowly swigging open. As she stepped through she caught sight of the sea of faces staring back at her. Some were curious, eager to see the return of the princess' rescuer, some wore their perpetual frowns at the existence of the lady knight, and some looked genuinely glad to see her. All were framed in the gilded decoration of the great hall. As always she kept her face blank as she walked down the length of the room towards the king. She could see his throne and the seats of his family gathered around him. To his right was his oldest son, Roald and his wife Shinkokami as well as their child Lianokami. To his left were his daughters Lianne and Vania, as well as Jasson II and his wife. Finally Kel's eyes fell to her little girl placed so neatly between them.
Kel's imouto was almost unrecognizable with her clean face and fancy little dress. Jessamine itched at her neatly pinned curls, only to have her hand gently but firmly put back in her lap by her mother. Kel's heart went out to her while her stomach twisted as she watched the little girl turn her head up and smile at the woman. The woman who she hadn't seen in so long, who hadn't held her or soothed her fears! Kel quickly stamped out the angry thoughts, ashamed at what was clearly a product of jealousy. Jealousy over something she had no right or claim to. It was only painful, she chided herself, because she had allowed herself to forget that, to delude herself into thinking otherwise. Suddenly she remembered the little ball the girl made against her as they slept the first night, the little ball that quaked in fear. She had made a promise to that little soul that she would take her back to her parents and that they would live happily again. It had only been Kel who had blocked that from her mind.
With her head held high she finally arrived at the king's feet and knelt.