Her First Name
Chapter Four: Guilty
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Sakura knew she looked like a sopping idiot, pinching her nose and sitting in a shallow puddle. But if she removed her hand, he would see how red her face was, and her pride would not allow that.
Sasuke stared at her for a minute. Like, at her. He was not looking through her like he normally did, but his eyes were actually recognizing that there was a solid human being present. She could not read his eyes, but could see through his dripping bangs an eyebrow twitch slightly. She figured that was about as surprised as he would ever look.
He made a small, embarrassed sound in his throat before turning away to unfurl his wet and wrinkled shirt. If Sakura had paid closer attention to his face instead of noticing how toned his stomach was, she would've seen a faint pink blush spread across his cheeks.
The sudden motion of Sasuke's turn caused Sakura to realize how cold the cement was on her soggy butt and she clumsily scrambled to her feet. She trembled from the coolness of her wet clothes and from the spray caused by raindrops breaking on the ground. She suddenly wished for the sweater she'd decided to leave at home because it was just too hot that morning. She did not realize she'd be wishing she'd done many other things different later on.
Pressing a damp hand to her face, Sakura smoothed back the stray hairs that dripped and clung to her cheeks. Relief washed over her as she realized her face was not hot anymore. Sneaking a peek at Sasuke, she could see him stretch his arms into the sleeves. The shirt was still largely wet and stuck to his back as he buttoned it up. Sakura saw him run a hand through his seaweed-hair, pushing up his bangs and straining the water from the strands.
She snapped her gaze forward at the slight inclination of his head. She didn't want him to catch her watching. She didn't want herself watching anyway. Sakura instead turned her attention to the droplets of water as they collected on the edge of the tarp before becoming too heavy and plummeting to the asphalt. She held her book bag tightly, the skin on her knuckles taut on the bone. And as she clutched, she remembered.
Katsuo!
There was a sharp intake of breath. Sakura hastily unzipped her book bag and saw, among slightly sodden papers and dampish books, the cardboard cage. It was a little bit squashed and she feared for the worst. Sakura reached in and pulled out the pathetic thing, inspecting it for any leaks of yoke-consistent fluids. She could see Katsuo's green eyes and red mouth through the air holes. He seemed fully intact. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.
Good Katsuo, she said mentally. You take after me; I have a hard head too.
She smiled to herself and placed the box carefully inside her bag again, knowing full well that eyes were upon her. Her face colored, but she resisted stiffening and tried to think of warm, dry places where there were no such things as Sasuke's.
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Sakura was certain that ten minutes had passed. Ten very long minutes of shuffling, shivering, and listening to the rain. The sound of it engulfed them, and, it seemed, the whole world. The storm would not be ending any time soon, and Sakura dreaded the thought of having to stand here under a miserable tarp with Sasuke, awkward silence personified.
They had not spoken to each other, not even to apologize for almost killing their egg-child or being caught in a rather pride-crushing moment. Sakura thought if she said sorry, he'd probably reply with some offhand grunt and all would be forgotten. Yes, forgotten, she reassured.
She opened her mouth to say something, but a faint, low rumbling from above smothered her small squeak. There was a pause as she waited for the thunder to subside. Sakura tried again only to have Sasuke say, "The rain's not going to let up."
He turned to her, and she shut her mouth so as not to look like a fish out of water. Thank you, Sasuke, for pointing that out, she thought grudgingly, slightly annoyed he had just interrupted her when she was about to apologize.
"I'm not going to wait here any longer. My house isn't too far from here," He looked at her and said, "We'll be drenched, but at least we'll be some place dry afterward."
Thirty-four words (including repeats) he had spoken to her just now. Thirty-four! More than she initially estimated was in his disposable vocabulary. The faintest of smiles crept on her lips, and she pushed it back.
Sasuke grabbed his book bag and put it over his head (which Sakura thought made him look slightly ridiculous) and walked into the rain. He was drenched in a matter of seconds. Back to seaweed.
When he realized that she wasn't following, he turned around and gave her another absurd look that said, "What the heck are you still doing under there? Let's go."
"Oh."
Sakura followed without using her bag as a makeshift umbrella, because Katsuo might catch a cold. Sasuke stared at her and, without a word, switched the two bags. She was stunned, staring at Sasuke standing in the rain, her book bag held firmly in his pale arms.
"Come on, then."
His book bag didn't help at all; she was soaked through and her arms were sore. But, the gesture was completely out-of-character for Sasuke, and Sakura felt it had to be cherished even for a little bit. She could hate him tomorrow.
The two ran three blocks and up an amazingly slippery hill before reaching the house with the nameplate "Uchiha Fugaku".
She stood in the genkan of the Uchiha household, slightly dazed and very wet. Sakura slid off her squishy shoes and placed them with the toes facing the door. Sasuke handed Sakura her book bag and walked ahead into the living room.
"You can come in." He called, seeming not to care if she got anything wet.
Sakura cautiously followed and took in the house, because it might be the last time she ever saw the inside. The walls were white and bare; there were no pictures hanging. The floor was hardwood and there was one long, rectangular rug that led to the staircase where Sasuke was in the closet underneath, busy digging for towels. She assumed the bedrooms were upstairs. A small kitchen was to her right, preceded by a small dining table. There were four chairs.
She observed the living room. There was one couch, one coffee table, one TV, one lamp, one loveseat, and a butsudan on the opposite wall. Sakura saw the flowers and the incense first. And then the pictures.
Sakura put the bags down, and went over to inspect the altar. A hard-faced man and a pleasant woman, both with raven-blue hair and black eyes, stared at her through the glass. She read the names on the two ihai: Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto. And suddenly, the enigma that was Sasuke started to focus, and she felt she could almost understand him. Almost. She clapped her hands together and bowed before the altar, quietly paying her respects.
After she prayed her thanks, she saw Sasuke come out of the hallway. There wasn't a pause of discomfort even as he knew what she had been doing standing in front of the photos of his mother and father. He just came to her and tossed her a white, fluffy towel. "The bathroom's that door right there. Take as a long as you need."
"Th-thank you." She replied loudly and blushed. Partly because she had not expected herself to say anything, and partly because she felt like she had crossed a line, had discovered some lost and broken secret that had a meaning far beyond her understanding. Sakura looked Sasuke full in the face.
Sasuke said nothing. He just looked at her for a moment. Sakura could see some unrecognizable emotion move in his eyes, as if he were silently considering something. But she couldn't observe for long because he turned abruptly and headed upstairs.
"Thank you!" She called stupidly as she heard a door shut.
Sakura quickly headed for the bathroom, embarrassed. After closing the door and locking it, she gazed at herself in the mirror. And she blushed even more. She could see the faint outline of her bra through her soaking shirt. It was faint, but even she could make out the curves of the lace and how it shaped her chest. And if she could see it, Sasuke would've seen it as well. She exclaimed in disgust and frustration despite herself, and slapped her forehead.
There was knock. "Are you decent?" was Sasuke's muffled question.
Sakura straightened herself and swallowed. She wrapped the towel over her shoulders, making sure that her chest was covered. She opened the door, finding Sasuke's face right above her and extremely close. He had changed into a black t-shirt with cartoon aliens on the front and some gray sweat pants. Sakura knew her face must've been a mixture of shock and confusion, but Sasuke was impassable.
"Here," he said as he shoved some clothes at her face, intentionally pushing her back a little ways. "We don't have an extra robe, but I haven't worn these in years. They should fit you. Give me your clothes." He said it all very mechanically. He betrayed no emotion, just very limited politeness.
"Wait a sec." She closed the door and didn't even bother to lock it. She dumped the clothes he'd given her—a blue t-shirt and a pair of red gym shorts—and quickly stripped off everything. Although she worked fast, she was increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that Sasuke would be handling her under-things. Pushing those thoughts from her mind, Sakura folded the towel over her body and bundled up her wet clothing, making sure her bra and underwear were tucked deep into the middle.
With the door slightly ajar, she placed the bundle into Sasuke's hands without looking at him. They didn't say anything to each other even as she closed the door, locked it, and listened to the rain as it continued to overwhelm the city.
Sakura went into the washing area and let out a very troubled breath. She was determined not to use the shower pouf, thinking about how Sasuke used it to wash himself every night. She blushed profusely, feeling very exposed in his house, as if the walls had eyes.
"Don't be so paranoid," she muttered to herself. "It's just an ordinary bath in an ordinary house." She tried hard to reassure herself she had nothing to fret over. And, really. Why was she so anxious?
But, every minute that passed only increased her anxiety. Her nervousness turned to shame, and then, to frustration. Sakura scrubbed harder. She could not believe she was here—of all places—with him—of all people. He could've left her under the tarp in the storm. But, he didn't. Why? His behavior was very confusing, and almost infuriating, but it was nothing she could hate him for. And that scared her.
She feared how light-headed she became under his gaze, and how she had let him see her blush so many times in one afternoon. She feared the stupid and silly girl. She feared the burning wings inside.
She feared being vulnerable.
Sakura searched deep inside for some kind of hateful feeling to hold onto, something safe. But the more she tried and failed, the angrier she became. At herself and at him. She huffed and dried herself hastily.
Throwing down the towel, she stood naked in his bathroom without a care and fiercely grabbed the blue shirt that smelled familiar. Like the fabric softener she used at home. She couldn't call home, because no one would pick up! She couldn't take the bus without money. She couldn't walk with a storm raging and no idea where she was in the first place. She couldn't escape. She couldn't hate him.
Frowning, Sakura recounted all the stupid decisions she'd made that day, and wondered helplessly if she would still be in this situation if she had done anything different. Anything at all! When she couldn't soothe herself with what could've happened, she contented herself with blaming everything and anything that came to her mind.
Stupid monsoon! Stupid cookies! Stupid baker! Stupid Ino! Stupid Hinata! Stupid Naruto! Stupid Kurenai-sensei! Stupid egg! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Thunder roared loudly above her and broke her from her blaming game. She cursed and let out a shaky breath. The last thing she wanted to be was in Sasuke's clothes without any kind of underwear, and then, in the same house as him. She swallowed and pulled the shirt over her head anyway. The clothes were too big for her, hanging loose and almost flattened against her much smaller frame. But her body disappeared into to the shirt, and she was grateful for that. Sakura didn't really believe that he hadn't worn them in years; they looked like he could've worn them last week.
She unlocked the door and pulled it open only to have Sasuke standing in the doorway with his hand poised to turn a doorknob. Sakura blinked and stared at him.
"I was wondering what you wanted to eat." He replied, stoic as ever.
Suddenly, she wanted to know. "Why did you help me?" She asked promptly.
"…What?"
"Why didn't you just leave me under the tarp?" She asked, annoyed that he didn't seem to be getting it.
Sasuke grimaced but said nothing. The rain hammered on the roof, wanting to be let in.
"You never had a problem leaving me behind before!" she raised her voice, recalling the day on the playground when he had stampeded over her sand castle on accident and never apologized; the day he had passed on his bike, splashing her with day-old rainwater without even looking back; the day he had left her standing with ink-stained fingers and no explanation.
Again, he said nothing, but his eyes darkened. Sakura's eyes were suddenly stinging, and she felt she was on the verge of humiliating herself even more. She rubbed her temples and turned her face away. Sakura didn't know why she was getting angry with him now—of all times! But she wanted to be angry. She wanted to hate him.
"Fine. Don't say anything," she muttered bitterly. "I…just don't care anymore." She heaved a tiresome sigh and slipped passed him.
He grabbed her arm.
"Where are you going?"
Sakura was about to say home. Instead, she said, "Anywhere! Anywhere but here."
Thunder cracked and the lights flickered.
"The storm—"
"I don't care!" Sakura pulled herself from his grasp and hurried toward the door.
"I can't let you—" He grabbed her shirt and pulled. Instead of her falling backward into his arms like he had predicted, her footing gave way underneath her and she began falling forward, pulling Sasuke with her. The thunder muffled the sound of their fall. He lay on top of her, slightly dazed, as she tried to scramble out from underneath him.
"Crazy girl! Would you hold still!" He grunted as he prevented her from crawling forward.
"I just want to get out of here!" She yelled. Sasuke grabbed hold of her flailing arm and spun her around to face him. She glared at him, flushed and eyes shining, and was surprised to see him weary rather than angry or impatient. But she didn't let it show.
Thunder rolled, rain pounded bluntly, and the lights flickered again as they just stared at each other, the other's breath hot on their faces.
The door opened suddenly, letting in the full sound of the storm raging outside. A young man of twenty emerged, clad in a gray raincoat and hat. As he dripped and closed the door behind him, he exclaimed, "Hey, Sasuke! Man, that storm was killer!"
The man looked up while saying something along the lines of, "I'm just glad I got off work so...ear...ly..." before spying his younger brother on top of a flushed, pink-haired girl who was wearing his younger brother's clothes.
The man's face split into a wolfish grin as he stared. Sasuke frowned just as hard, his face a shade of deep red.
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Dear Reader,
I apologize for the crappy ending. But, I'm really excited about how the story is progressing! I feel I'm going to have a lot of fun with Itachi in the next chapter. I think he'd have been an awesome big brother if he were still around. So, look forward to that. Thanks for the reviews and the favorites. You guys are roxsome!
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Sincerely, Thely
A genkan is the entryway of a Japanese household. People remove their shoes in the genkan to prevent dirt from getting into the house.
A butsudan, as far as I've gathered, is a shrine to Buddha, and is common in India, China, Korea, and Japan. Japanese people also use it to honor their ancestors. The way the butsudan is set up varies with the family.
An ihai is a spirit tablet used by the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans. An ihai can be found in temples or at funerals, and also in the home. They are used to attract spirits, kami, or ancestors.
If any of this information is wrong, please let me know. My knowledge on Japanese culture is limited. (:P)
(Updated 03-22-10: I apologize for being an idiot and not realizing that the kind of house Sasuke and Itachi live in has TWO stories. I also added some more detail here and there. Thanks so much for the encouragement; you guys don't even know how sweet it is (:D))