Warning

Chapter 4: Confrontation

Kaoru video called Boomer the next day after she calmed down, and she told him to forget that she cried or at least not mention it anymore.

Boomer seemed reluctant, but when he saw the pleading expression on Kaoru's face, he sighed in defeat and agreed.

After that, their conversation continued as normal, as if she never cried in the first place. Boomer had even offered to hang out with her, and she was more than happy to go with him. They both went to the arcade, and of course, she beat him at nearly every arcade game there was.

Slowly, a week had passed, and with every passing day, Kaoru still felt her heart ache every now and then when she thought of Butch, but she pushed the thought of him out of her mind. She reminded herself constantly that he wasn't worth her pain, time, and tears. If he really valued Miyako more than his friendship with Kaoru, then Kaoru would rather have their friendship break off now than later down the road.

Kaoru admitted that it hurt because he wasn't just a friend, but still someone she liked—deeply. Of course, she never confessed to him, but it didn't matter anymore. She wanted to move on already, and she knew that the only thing that could heal her was just time.

Currently, Kaoru was watching a soccer game on TV in the living room as she munched on some popcorn.

"Kaoru!" Kaoru heard her mother call.

"Yeah, Mom?" Kaoru exclaimed.

"I'm going to go grocery shopping! Do you need anything?"

"No!" Kaoru paused before she added, "Wait, do you need me to come with you?"

"No, honey, it's okay! I'll be back later!"

"All right!"

Kaoru heard the front door close and lock in the distance, so she assumed that her mother had already left. Her eyes remained glued and engrossed on the soccer game on TV until she heard her phone vibrate.

Thinking that it was Boomer, she immediately picked it up and held it against her ear. "What's up?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end.

Kaoru frowned. "Hello?"

Kaoru heard the other person clear their throat. "Uh, long time no talk."

Kaoru's heart dropped as her eyes widened when she realized that it was none other than Butch, and within that instant, she felt a sudden wave of emotions overcome her as her entire body froze.

"Are you free right now?" Butch asked.

Kaoru gulped inaudibly, wondering why she couldn't bring herself to move or even hang up already on him because he wasn't worth her time anymore.

"Matsubara?"

Kaoru bit her tongue lightly before she finally said, "What?"

"Uh, did you hear me?"

"I heard you."

"So, are you free right now?"

Kaoru glanced at the TV, which was still playing the soccer game. "No."

There was a small moment of silence before she heard Butch reply softly, "Oh."

Kaoru frowned, wondering if he sounded disappointed, but she dismissed that thought from her mind when she saw the team she was rooting for scored yet another goal. "Look, I got to go."

"Oh, uh, all right, then. I guess I'll see you later?"

Kaoru felt her breathing hitch at his last sentence as her chest began to lighten with hope, and she wondered if he wanted to make up.

But, then she remembered that she couldn't be friends with him—not while she continued to like him, at least. If she continued to stay friends with him while hiding her feelings, it would be too damn heartbreaking to see him try to get closer with Miyako, and judging by how Kaoru broke down last week, she knew that she just couldn't handle it anymore.

"Matsubara?"

Kaoru broke out of her thoughts when she heard Butch's voice, and she sighed. "Uh, Butch, look, I need to tell you something."

Butch stayed silent.

Kaoru let out a shaky breath, but she hoped that he didn't hear that. "There's no other way to put this, but…I don't think we can be friends anymore."

There was another moment of silence.

Kaoru blinked a few times in confusion, feeling that tightness in her chest growing with anxiety as every silent second passed. Finally, she licked her lips and asked, "Butch?"

"Why?" Butch finally replied.

"I…" Kaoru's voice trailed off, wondering how she should put it. Finally, she managed to piece her thoughts and words together, and she sighed. "Look, we fight way too damn much."

"So?"

"It's not exactly a healthy friendship."

Butch stayed silent.

"And, uh, look, I'm sorry for blowing up at you over Gotokuji a while back. I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just didn't want you to get hurt like all of those guys did before you, you know?" Kaoru paused, forcing a fake smile come onto her face. "Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with Gotokuji. I really do. But for now, I got to go, so…bye."

Kaoru didn't hear Butch say anything, so she quickly hung up, not wanting to hear more from him. She then stared at his contact information and debated if she should delete it to force herself to move on, but her thoughts quickly dissipated when she saw that she was out of popcorn.

"Great, time to make more," Kaoru grumbled.

Butch let out a long sigh as he finally hung up on the phone.

"Oh, so you decided to talk to her, huh?"

Butch turned his head around to see none other than Brick in the doorway of the kitchen, and he frowned in response. He hadn't realized that Brick was already home from his date with Momoko Akatsutsumi, his girlfriend.

"She broke off the friendship, didn't she?" Brick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"None of your business," Butch retorted.

Brick sighed. "I knew it."

Butch narrowed his eyes.

"Well, you happy now?"

"Why the hell should I be happy?"

Brick shrugged. "Aren't you one step closer to getting the so-called girl of your dreams?"

Butch glanced away in response.

Brick stayed silent, waiting for Butch to say something, but when he didn't, Brick sighed and was about to leave the room until he heard Butch clear his throat.

"What should I do?" Butch asked.

Brick frowned. "I don't know. Why don't you ask Boomer?"

Before Butch could say another word, Brick left the room.

Was this really happening? Did Kaoru seriously just…break off their friendship? He didn't even get the chance to confirm that she really did like him. Maybe Brick was just trying to pull the wool over his eyes, but he knew Brick wasn't the type to lie over something like this.

Plus, as much as he wanted to deny that she liked him, the evidence was right there in front of his face—or rather, in his memories. After Brick had told him about Kaoru's feelings, he finally managed to piece everything together.

Whenever he had talked about Miyako to Kaoru, he always noticed that there was a distant look in her eyes, but he never pointed it out to her. At first, he thought that maybe he was just seeing things because that sort of look on her was just so unlike her. Eventually, he figured that Miyako must've been a touchy subject, but he never pressed her to tell him anything. If she wanted to tell him, it'd be on her own accord; otherwise, it wasn't his business or his right to know.

Butch knew that it was wrong of him to like the same girl as his younger brother, but he couldn't help it. Everything about Miyako screamed the perfect dream girl, so how could he not fall for her? So, of course, he was pissed that Kaoru would judge him for it when he told her; he had expected that at least she, out of all the people he knew, would be understanding of his situation. But, now that he thought about it, he could've sworn he saw a glimpse of hurt—maybe even heartbreak—in her eyes when he had told her.

Still, he couldn't just easily change his feelings with a snap of his fingers. His feelings for Miyako had grown over time. He knew that his feelings for her weren't as strong as Boomer's, but having lunch with her somehow relieved him of the stress he was facing with Kaoru.

So, even if he confirmed with Kaoru that she had feelings for him, he would have to reject her.

"Shit, maybe that's why she broke it off," Butch muttered absentmindedly as he went to go sit down on one of the chairs at the small dining table.

He thought about Miyako again, wanting to see her just for a bit to relieve him of this stress he was facing with Kaoru, but the thought of her didn't help. It didn't relieve him of the ache that he felt in his chest—that nagging sensation he felt, even during his time with her at the ramen restaurant. Maybe he was just running away from Kaoru? Now that he thought about it, maybe they were both running away from each other: he wanted to avoid Kaoru's feelings for him, whereas Kaoru wanted to just avoid…him.

Was he ready for this? Did he really want to lose Kaoru's friendship over something like this? Surely, they could've worked something out, couldn't they? But, how could they try when she just broke it off? And he was pretty sure that Boomer didn't want to help him, considering how he tried to woo Miyako and hurt Kaoru to the point where she…cried.

Butch gulped inaudibly. He had never once seen Kaoru cry—ever. And to know that she had cried over him made him feel incredibly uncomfortable…and guilty.

He finally let out a long sigh before he dialed Boomer's number. After he heard Boomer pick up, Butch said, "I know you're pissed at me, but I need your help."

There was a long pause.

"Boomer?"

"After what you've done, you want to ask me for my help?" Boomer retorted over the phone. "What makes you think I'd help you?"

Butch refrained from snapping, and he let out a long, heavy sigh. "Matsubara broke it off."

There was a short pause before Boomer finally exclaimed, "Wait, what?"

"You heard me."

Boomer sighed. "I told you."

"You did not tell me."

"Well, the next step is Urawa making Kaoru hate your guts, so, I mean, I'm pretty close."

"Boomer. Seriously. I need your help."

"Why? Butch, look, I get it. You're my brother. We have each other's backs. But you pretty much betrayed that when you went out on a date with Miyako."

Butch glanced at the floor in shame. Shit, why was he feeling so guilty? Maybe it was because of Kaoru. This was the effect that she had on him. She always had a way of making him feel regret or sympathy whenever he did insensitive things. It was as if she was his missing conscience or something.

"And honestly, I don't know why you want my help with Kaoru."

"Well, she likes me, right?" Butch asked.

Boomer stayed silent.

"Right?" Butch repeated, even though he knew the answer already.

Boomer finally let out a long sigh. "Who told you?"

"Brick. Who else?"

"Well, I was hoping Kaoru would've told you, but I guess that didn't happen…"

"That's why I need to talk to her! You're the only person I know that's as close to her as I am." Butch paused. "Or, well, was, I guess."

"And it's because I talk to her that I think it's best that you don't interfere with her life anymore."

Butch narrowed his eyes, almost in fury. "What?"

"Butch, she likes you to the point where she fucking cried over you. I've known her past crushes, but she never once cried over them, even when she was moving on." Boomer paused. "Well, they were pretty tough for her to move on from. I guess some scars still remained…"

Butch raised an eyebrow. "Scars?"

"I'm not going to tell you about those."

Butch scoffed. "It's not like they involve Miyako or anything, do they?"

There was a long pause.

Butch let that sink in for a moment before he finally muttered, "Oh, my God, they did."

Boomer sighed. "Like I said, I'm not saying anything. If you want to know that badly, then talk to Kaoru about it."

"Then, help me!"

"I'm not going to help you."

"Boomer, she broke off our friendship. I know her well enough that if I try to talk to her in public or even try to call her, she's going to ignore me and act like I don't fucking exist."

And in that moment, Butch felt the heaviness in his chest grow to a dull, incessant ache—an ache that he wished would stop already.

"Boomer, come on, man," Butch muttered. "Please."

There was a short pause before Boomer asked softly, "Do you really like Miyako, Butch?"

Butch hesitated before he muttered, "Yeah."

"Do you think she's worth losing Kaoru?"

Would she help make this pain go away? He had to admit that he didn't know Miyako that well at all, compared to Boomer. But, was she worth it?

"Butch?"

Butch hesitated before he sighed. "No."

"And why's that?"

Because he felt this heaviness in his chest that just wouldn't fucking go away, of course. But, Butch couldn't respond like that. It was unlike of him to really feel anything like this.

Boomer sighed. "Butch, be honest with me. Are you hurting?"

Butch blinked. "What?"

"Does your heart feel heavy?"

Butch hesitated. "What the hell does this—"

"Yes or no?"

Butch gulped inaudibly. "Yeah."

"How heavy does it feel?"

There was a small pause before Butch muttered in a heavy tone, "Extremely."

"And you're still sure—even with that pain—that you like Miyako?"

Butch narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Do you really like Miyako? Are you sure that there's not a part of you deep down that actually has romantic feelings for Kaoru?"

Butch thought about it. He had noticed that the two of them had gotten physically closer as their bond became stronger, but…

"Are you sure that you're not actually confusing your feelings for Miyako with Kaoru?" Boomer asked softly.

"I don't like Matsubara," Butch snapped. "We're just friends—or, well, were."

"Okay, but let's say you were in this situation with Miyako instead of Kaoru. Would you feel the same as you are now?"

Butch scrutinized his eyes. "Of course not."

"So, why are you feeling this way about Kaoru? Shouldn't you be unaffected, like how you felt about all of the girls you flirted with and hit on before Kaoru or Miyako came into the picture?"

Butch became uneasy. He knew Boomer was perceptive and had a way with words, but the more this conversation continued, the more he felt like he was being pressured into liking Kaoru. Did he like Kaoru? Of course not! But…Boomer had a point. It was because this was all over Kaoru that Butch felt this way. If it was anyone else, he wouldn't give a damn at all.

"I'm guessing from your silence that you're thinking about this, too." There was a short pause before Boomer sighed. "Look, I'll help you with Kaoru."

Butch immediately sat up with his back straight, unaware that his eyes lit up. "What?"

"But only to help give her closure. I don't want her crying over you anymore."

Once again, Butch felt guilty.

"I'll let you know when I think of a plan on how to get the two of you talking again."

"No need for that. Just tell her to meet you at the arcade near the Pac-Man game."

"Bro, I get you're rash and all, but are you sure about this? Don't you want more time to think about how you want to talk to her? Because there is still a chance that the both of you will argue about it instead of having a heart-to-heart conversation."

"We won't argue—"

"You won't, but she might," Boomer interrupted. "We're talking about Kaoru here, remember?"

Butch frowned, knowing fully well that Boomer had a point, but he didn't want to back down. Not now, not when he knew how crucial everything was. If he waited any longer—if he waited until Kaoru was over him—they wouldn't be the same. They could never be the same.

"Butch?"

Butch let out a long sigh. "No."

"Uh…what?"

"Tell her to meet you at the arcade near the Pac-Man game," Butch repeated. "Like, right now."

"But—"

Immediately, Butch hung up, and it didn't take long for him to get ready and dash out of the house to head to the arcade.