Title: And Now for Something Completely Different
Author: Duck
Edited by: tell me somethin' please
WARNING – *see chapters 1 & 2* SPOILERS!
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Monty Python.
AN: People didn't seem to like the last chapter :( Was it too long? Or did the style not quite work?
It was brought up that I need to improve my fight scenes. So anybody have any advice or writers that I can check out? Thanks!
Thank you to Bloody Dead And Sexyfor reviewing the last chapter.
Chapter 4: Cat and Fox
They walked.
And walked.
And walked some more.
And then occasionally, they stopped to eat. And then they continued walking.
"Where are we going?" Sasuke called ahead to Itachi.
"Perhaps you should include a little bit of geography in that military regime you've got him on, Itachi," Kisame chuckled. Addressing Sasuke now, he said, "You should be able to recognize you're home country Sasuke."
Eyes very round, Sasuke looked around him, taking in the trees and plants. Itachi could see recognition alight in his eyes before the gaze darkened in memory.
Itachi could feel the moment Sasuke looked at him, could see those big hopeful eyes staring at him. He sighed, "No Sasuke, we won't be going there."
And now came the pout, even not looking at it he could feel himself being swayed. God the kid had him absolutely whipped. "But Aniki, please? Just for a bit?" Sasuke pleaded, Itachi found himself wondering how good of a genjutsu he could perform to mask their appearance. "I want to visit Mother and Father's grave."
Itachi felt his heart freeze. No. No, no never. Would they even have a grave? If they did, what would it say? 'Leaders of a traitor family, glad their gone'? That would be being polite. There was probably an unmarked mass grave somewhere, probably under the ashes of the Uchiha compound… Itachi jerked his thoughts away from that. No, just no, Sasuke would never see that.
"It's too risky," Itachi said through frozen lips, "You know why I always use a fake name. We have enemies that are probably still searching for us, and on top of that, we're missing Nin, our own village is looking for us."
Sasuke took a deep breath as if he would cry. Itachi looked back over his shoulder at him and hastened to assure him, "some day, Sasuke. Just not today, ok?" Sasuke nodded and Itachi reached back to hold his hand. Sasuke gave a huff – Itachi smirked, he could imagine what his brother was thinking 'he was big, he could walk himself' - but held on anyways. "And we're going somewhere you'll recognize."
Sasuke looked up at him, "where?"
"To Granny Cat's," Itachi smiled slightly as Sasuke's expectant expression turned sour.
"But she smells," Sasuke whispered. Itachi dropped his hand. Sasuke looked a little hurt… until he felt those fingers poke him in the forehead, then he was just annoyed. He scowled up at his brother's amused face, rubbing at the location of impact as if that would change the fact that it'd happened. Itachi rarely did that to him anymore, he'd been hoping it had stopped.
"That was very rude Sasuke," Itachi chided, "you should show respect for you're elders." Despite his scolding words, there was a hint of amusement in his tone.
Sasuke scowled harder and, unlike if Itachi had been serious, decided to retaliate, "you're one to talk. You're always bossing Kisame around and he's…" Sasuke blinked in bewilderment as he realized he had absolutely no idea how to finish that. "Kisame, how old are you?"
Kisame was smiling, probably thinking about that comment, 'Always bossing him around'. Still smiling, he replied, "I wish I could tell ya' squirt, but your guess is about as good as mine."
Sasuke was giving him a suspicious look, "How can you not know how old you are?"
Itachi gave him a warning look, 'Don't be rude' it said. Sasuke didn't see it.
Kisame ignored it too, "Mist is a brutal place to grow up in. My clan was divided, something about Clan Head I think, and they were so busy killing each other and teaching their children how to do the same they didn't have much time for birthdays or even record keeping. They all died out when I was about your size. But that's no help with age, I age very irregularly. From what Konan was able to come up with about half the rate of a normal human." Sasuke looked at him solemn and apologetic, Kisame seemed… thoughtful but not exactly heartbroken as you would expect from someone talking about the extermination of their clan. Coming out of his mood he gave the kid a wink, "but I can guarantee you one thing, I am definitely older than Itachi."
Sasuke smiled back weakly, and ran to hold onto Itachi's hand again.
Seeming to suddenly occur to him, Kisame asked "Itachi, who's this Granny Cat of yours and why are we going to her?"
"She is a friend of the Uchiha clan; she will give us food and a place to stay for the night. Not for free, obviously." Itachi replied. "She's more concerned with making money than anything else, except her cats, so she shouldn't have a problem helping us out."
"Good, good," Kisame mumbled, "Someone who aids wanted criminals, that's the kind of company we want to keep."
Itachi smiled to himself, just a private chuckle in his mind, he couldn't let Kisame know that he was, occasionally, amusing. It would ruin a carefully kept image. But then again, if Kisame wasn't entertaining now and then, their partnership would not have lasted a week. Besides, it was nice sometimes to have some noise and conversation while traveling those long distances to and from missions.
Sasuke gasped as they broke through the trees, suddenly coming into a wide bare plain. Off in the distance, Itachi could see the tall central building of the old army base turned city. For some reason he remembered it being a lot bigger, of course he'd been much smaller the last time he was here.
"Didn't know Fire country had a place like this," Kisame grunted. His gaze raked over the brown windblown plain, topsoil almost nonexistent with no trees or other vegetation to protect it. "Wonder how this happened."
"During the war this was a main battle field," Itachi began as he continued walking, "The trees which characterize the fire nation were to our advantage but only worked against our enemies. They decided to remove them. The erosion to the soil removed all other vegetation and the blood, bodies and bird waste made sure it stayed that way."
"So they decided to build a town here?"
"No," Sasuke snapped, Itachi looked over to see him giving Kisame a nearly identical look to the one he himself often used on the shark man. "The town used to be on the edge but the desert has gotten bigger over the years. It's mostly empty now; just Granny Cat and her helpers live there now." He halted slightly, looking up to Itachi for approval, "I think."
Itachi smiled and nodded. He had included geography, but - more so for someone as young as Sasuke - it had been a long time since they'd been here. It was easy to forget, especially since they'd never expected to come here again.
Kisame snorted in amusement. "What now you're ganging up on me, that's hardly fair." He reached out a hand and mussed Sasuke's hair in the back, making it stick up even more atrociously in then normal. "Ok, I'll admit, you do know a bit about geography," he teased.
Sasuke ducked and swatted at his hand, trying to pat down his hair again.
"Itachi!" Sasuke whined. Kisame laughed out loud.
"Hurry up you two." Sometimes he worried about his partner's influence on Sasuke. But really, his little brother needed someone around the same age as him, even if it was mental age.
They made it to the town in good time. Sasuke's eyes were drooping and he drug his feet. Itachi was beginning to feel very edgy. Any ninja, especially one from such a heavily forested place like Konaha, would have trouble being in such a barren place. Not that it really seemed to bother Kisame.
"Damn it's dry here," he cried out cheerfully. "Where to now Itachi?" he slapped the smaller male on the back making him stumble.
"It's just this way," Itachi muttered. He gripped Sasuke's shoulder, keeping him from falling on the broken concrete.
The building that Itachi led them into, despite being the most complete was still rather run down. Wires and pipes were clearly visible as if the people who had built the building had given-up halfway through. There were random exits from the main hall that Itachi knew led to a dead end or doubled back on themselves. The place was a virtual labyrinth, anyone who did not know the way would find themselves lost for days.
"So where are we going?" Kisame hissed, disturbing the silence that had followed them since they'd entered.
"Hn," Itachi grunted.
Kisame stared at him, "does that 'hn' mean 'shut-up and follow me' or 'shut-up I'm trying to figure it out'."
"Or maybe just shut-up," Sasuke offered.
Itachi didn't feel like replying, really it had been all three of those; he did not know the way. The best thing to do would be to walk around and wait until they were found. Of course, silence was always appreciated; he'd been listening to the buzz of their banter for three days now, it was getting rather loud.
As they continued through the building, they all became aware of strange skittering noises. The sounds followed them down the hall. Sasuke edged closer to Itachi uneasily. After ten minutes of this Itachi came to a halt, turning to face the direction they'd come.
"Denka, Hina, come on out," Itachi called. Two cat-like creatures seemed to materialize before them.
"Ah, Itachi," one of them cackled, "It's been a while since we've seen any of you pass through here, what is it you need?" They gazed up at him with identical slitted eyes. For some reason, and just for a moment, Itachi was reminded of Orochimaru.
"Just provisions and a place to stay for the night if it's not too much trouble," Itachi said respectfully. Kisame watched him out of the corner of his eye, seeming to find his partner's conversation with cats entertaining.
"Hmm, no trouble with the right funding," one said.
"Better yet, a gift, mew," the other prompted.
Their eyes fell on Kisame, filling with fascination. "What's this?" one of them asked. He licked his lips and slunk towards Kisame, "A nice snack you've brought us?"
"Be careful," Itachi warned. Kisame swung his sword lightly in a shooing gesture. The tanuki, leapt back with a hiss. "This 'snack' will bite back." Itachi pulled a small container out of his cloak. "Catnip, I believe this is suitable?"
They licked their lips excitedly and quite nearly bounced down the hall. "Right this way."
The two tanuki led them down the hall into a much more lived in room. Drapes fell from the ceiling, books and other odds and ends lined the shelves, cushions were spread out to accompany the many cats that lay about, and in the middle of it all was an old woman with cat ears perched on her head.
Kisame's eyes flickered toward Itachi momentarily but otherwise didn't comment. The old woman made a slight motion toward them and a woman and a girl a couple years older than Itachi came over, giving them all friendly smiles.
The woman bent down in front of Sasuke and helped him to remove his travel pack. Sasuke gave her a grateful smile and promptly sat down on the ground, pulling off his sandals. The girl wavered for a second between Itachi and Kisame, the teenager's scowl and Kisame's unusual appearance giving her pause. Itachi scowled harder as Kisame smiled, careful to keep his teeth from visibility. The girl smiled back hesitantly and came over to take his pack, wincing as she felt its full weight. Itachi glared down the woman as she moved to take his.
"Itachi Uchiha, stop terrorizing my help and come over here," Granny Cat harrumphed. Itachi went over to sit in front of her, setting down his pack beside him. Granny Cat watched this with a raised quizzical eyebrow, "I can see you've kept a healthy dose of paranoia from your anbu days."
Itachi reached into a side pocket and handed her the money he'd stored there. "This is for supplies and rooming for the night, and clothes and shoes for Sasuke," he said shortly.
Granny Cat accepted the cash and tucked it away. As Itachi made to rise she put out a hand to stop him. "Sit. I need to talk to you." Itachi sat. For a moment Granny Cat didn't say anything, instead busying herself with her pipe, snapping at the girl to take their packs to their room and the woman to get Sasuke clothing. Finally she took a puff of her pipe and then jabbed it at him, "Itachi I've been hearing some interesting rumors recently about your clan-"
Itachi's eyes widened and he cast around the room for Sasuke. If he heard- Some of the panic left him as he located him on the far side of the room talking to the woman.
Itachi turned back to Granny Cat to find her watching him with sharp eyes. "So it's true then, what they've started saying in Konoha." She looked him up and down, taking in his black and red cloak, "is that why you're wearing that cloak?"
Itachi tensed. He'd been expecting to be criticized if people ever learned of his actions, even hated. He hadn't expected it here though. "Please don't-" he began.
Granny Cat waved it off, "I've heard other things too, about the Elders and a certain Clan plan. I know you well enough, boy, to believe those above the others. And as for that cloak," she stopped to take a draft from her pipe again. "I have no problem with it, or you. 'Criminal organization', hmph. In my day the Akatsuki were peace keepers. I'd always agreed with that leader of theirs policies during the war," she peered up at him now, eyes surprisingly clear and sharp. "Tell me Itachi, will you strive to make this world a better place as well?"
TTT
"Goodbye, Granny Cat," Itachi said. They'd stayed the night in an extra room of hers, in proper beds and now, clean fed and in Sasuke's case, newly clothed they were continuing on their way.
"Thank you for the shoes," Sasuke bowed.
"No need for that Sasuke," she chuckled patting her pocket where she'd put the money.
They exited the building and made their way out into the small desert, heading in a straight line in the same direction they'd been going before stopping here.
When they were a good distance from the town Kisame spoke up, "I am never letting you choose a rest stop again," he grumbled.
Itachi smirked, remembering Kisame's face from the night before, after he'd walked in on Granny Cat having a 'conversation' with one of her cats.
"It wasn't that bad," Sasuke said in a placating tone.
"Sure, sure, her cats just played with you, they didn't try to eat you," Kisame laughed quietly. Sasuke nodded happily.
Itachi was far from at ease, their playful chitchat barely even registered. With the route they were currently on, they would cut too close to Konoha. If he remembered correctly they shouldn't come across any patrols, but it had been almost a year, things could change. Itachi pushed the negative thoughts away with a mental shake of his head. They'd be fine. He would get them passed any patrols without having Kisame kill any of his former countrymen. They'd get out of Fire country without incident and into wave country.
"Why are you frowning," Kisame broke into his thoughts. He was smiling at him. Itachi didn't even flinch as he looked at his razor sharp teeth, these days he didn't even think about it.
"Thinking."
"Hm, a very dangerous past time," Kisame informed him. By this time they were only a mile away from the wall of Konoha. Itachi was feeling tense; his eyes twitched everywhere, searching for any hint of movement. He activated his sharingan, everything leaping into startling clarity. He let himself relax a margin. Nothing had or ever would get passed his sharingan.
A flicker of movement.
He jerked his gaze toward it, one hand already holding a kunai. Yellow, glaring orange and the brightest blue he'd ever seen. He realized that he'd just pulled his weapon on a blonde child, a very dirty one, hiding himself in the underbrush. The boy was about Sasuke's age, maybe a year or two younger. The blue he'd noticed, the child's eyes, shone with tears and there were dirty tracks down his cheeks.
His companions were only beginning to react to his sudden movement. Kisame was tugging at the clumsy sword on his back, Sasuke taking a few steps back from the potential battle ground as he'd been told. Itachi raised his hand, making a sign to notify them it was no immediate threat. If this was a child from a different nation they could be expecting an attack from worried caretakers, they should keep a lookout for that. He kept his eyes trained on the child though. What he'd thought for the briefest instant was just the boy's jacket he now realized extended beyond his physical body. Pure chakra surrounded him, swirling and leaping like flames. The movements were not with any direction at the moment, just random bursts like a child's tantrum.
At the moment the child's eyes were fixed on Itachi, alarm showing clearly in his gaze. The powerful chakra surrounding him grew more agitated.
Itachi hesitantly reached a hand. "Shh, shh, it's fine, we're not going to hurt you," Itachi soothed, remembering the voice his mother had used when Sasuke awoke from nightmares and that he'd learned after her death. The blonde boy sniffed and wiped at his eyes and nose with his wrists then gazed up at him, still wary but without the panicked fear. Itachi smiled encouragingly and the boy tentatively reached out and put his hand in his. Itachi pulled him to his feet. "My name is Itachi," he said, "this is Sasuke and Kisame." Sasuke smiled and came over to the boy who smiled back a bit more uncertainly. Kisame wisely hung back.
Itachi, watching the boy out of the corner of his eye, saw the orange chakra recede back into the boy's body as he calmed down.
"Where are you from? Are you from Konoha?" Sasuke asked.
The boy nodded, "Are you from Konoha too?"
"Um, kinda," Sasuke replied after a quick look at Itachi. "Do I know you? What's your name?"
Immediately the orange chakra flared up again. The boy clutched his hand to his chest and stared at Sasuke guardedly. When Sasuke only looked back in confusion he said hesitantly, "Naruto."
When Sasuke just smiled the boy relaxed, his violent chakra with him.
"If you're from Konaha we should take you back," Itachi said.
"No. I ran away, I don't ever want to go back there," Naruto pouted, giving him a squinty eyed glare.
Itachi sighed, he could remember a time when he'd felt the same. Of course he'd been four so he hadn't gotten very far, not even outside the compound before he was drug back to his lessons.
"People are going to miss you. Parents, friends," Kisame said. Naruto shook his head. Kisame's eyes widened, "There's got to be someone, siblings, caretakers, teachers…"
Naruto's expression went pensive, "Well, I suppose Iruka-sensei might. He'd lose his edge without me around!" The boy grinned happily now. Itachi wasn't sure if his bravado was encouraging, only one teacher that might miss him? The boy seemed friendly enough, even without parents, and that wasn't uncommon in Konaha, he should have other friends. Maybe others could sense his unstable chakra.
Kisame grinned back at him, "Well we wouldn't want that now, do we?" Naruto shook his head and stared at Kisame, seeming to only just realize what the man he was speaking to looked like. "Come one we'll drop you… well near Konaha. It's on our way." Naruto nodded eyes wide. Kisame looked over at Itachi, "and don't worry, we'll be careful," he told him, correctly interpreting Itachi's frown.
It took them an hour of walking to get to Konaha with the extra child. He stumbled along after them, making more noise than the other three put together. Itachi winced every time he stepped on a branch, his reactions became more agitated as they neared the wall.
"You're more paranoid than a senile war veteran, relax," Kisame grumbled.
"My paranoia will save us one day," Itachi retorted. Kisame just laughed.
They stopped at the edge of the clearing before the Konaha wall, no one willing to take the risk of being seen by half asleep watch men after dodging so many out lying patrols.
"Go ahead, kid," Kisame urged, "just step out and someone'll see you and take you in."
Naruto was frozen, staring at the wall. "Can't you come with me?" his eyes turned to Sasuke, desperate pleading in his gaze.
Sasuke shook his head sadly. It had been nearly a year since he'd spoken to someone other than Itachi or Kisame, he'd missed talking to someone his own age, for however brief it had been. "No, too dangerous. I don't think they'd be very happy to see us."
Naruto looked away and nodded and Itachi wondered if the boy was aware that he'd just been aided by rogue ninja. As Naruto began to walk into the clearing Itachi snatched Sasuke up into his arms and took off, not willing to take the risk of being seen by Konaha ninja in his black and red cloak in this expanse of green.
Sasuke kept silent, watching over his shoulder as the clearing grew smaller and the blonde hair was slowly eaten by the green shrubbery, for some reason wanting to memorize the exact color of the boy's hair.
It was four years before he saw it again.
TTT
AN: Fairly big time skip between this and next chapter. As cute as chibi Sasuke is, I'm not very good at child characterization and this was actually more than I'd originally had planned for child Sasuke. On the upside, hints of NaruSasu are going to start next and KisaIta should too 3. Anyway, let me know what you think, review!