AN; hello another chapter. Let me know what you think :)

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

Chapter 4

The Stillness of the barnyard echoed with the gunshots and the tears of Hershel's family.

"No..no" Carol fought with her own subconscious...don't make me see this again, don't make me feel it. "No" she clamped her eyes shut.

"Open your eyes Carol"

She opened her eyes to find Shane standing in front of her.

"Shane?" She questioned. The scene was paused motionless as though someone had paused real life. She could see Shane down by the barn but a different Shane standing next to her.

He smiled at her "You're an amazing woman you know that? I've been rooting for you. You were the first to forgive me, to understand why I did what I did."

"Are you an angel?" She asked confused

Shane snorted "Naww the big guy upstairs just thought I might be able to help you..."

"You're.." She asked confused

"In heaven? Yeah ..forgiveness is a powerful thing. When you forgave me..I was forgiven. Plus the big guy understood I had some mental illness going on there..sorry about that." He said with a grin.

"Is Sophia? " she couldn't finish her sentence.

"Of course she is, kids are innocent..she's happy." He said "that ain't why I'm here.." He sighed "You let her death change you, made you stronger sure but you lost some of the important stuff that made you you. Or maybe you ain't never found it I don't know."

She looked at him confused "What do you mean?"

"You're self worth Carol! That asshole of husband of yours made you think you were useless. You still do. You sacrifice yourself, your soul like it's worthless, don't make the mistake I did. The group has forgiven you for what you did, there's only one person left. You..you need to forgive yourself." He said

The wind changed and the scene slowly started to move, she could hear the echo of Sophia's shuffling feet exiting the barn door. Her eyes filled with tears "Don't make watch this again...please."

"Ain't me sweetheart...you want to punish yourself, your sick and this is what your mind is doing to you...you need to forgive yourself to make it stop." Shane said sadly as he faded away.

She turned toward the barn swept up in the moment.

"Sophia, Sophia" she screamed before powerful arms grabbed her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Daryl sat by her bedside her hand clamped in his.

"How could this have happened, no one noticed her getting sick.?" Daryl croaked to Rick sitting next to him.

"I don't know brother..I guess she didn't want to be a burden, I think...I think she was gonna slip off and...opt out. She came to for a bit muttering about how she would turn and hurt us" Rick said with a sigh

"Fuck that shit" Daryl puffed, "you should have damn well told me Carol...it's me..you should have told me." He said to her bringing his forehead to her burning hot hand.

It was just Rick and Glenn in the room.

Sascha and Maggie had quickly started an Iv on Carol with the supplies they had brought back and where now in the other room sorting out the haul from the clinic and health center to see if they had anything of any use. Eugene was with them combing through a medical textbook that Sascha had thought to pick up. Abraham had set about sorting out watch.

"She'll be okay man...I mean it's Carol..she's indestructible right? What does she always say when you tell her to stay safe.." Glenn asked

He sniffed not lifting his head "Nine lives"

How many of those nine lives she got left thanks to him? He though sarcastically Getting hit by a car? That was on him, he should have said to fuck with Noah, he never should have taken his eyes of her.

All you had to do was keep an eye on her!

It echoed through his shame filled mind. All the times he'd been so awful to her. He'd never even apologized for that night. Or calling her a stupid bitch. How in the world could get have said those awful things to her? She never thought twice about forgiving him. She always did. She always saw something in him that he never quite understood. She thought he was a good man. Even Beth who he had come to care about as a sister had assumed the worst of him, thinking he had spent time in jail.

Not Carol, she saw past it all, she always had from the beginning. She'd made him feel worthy, made him felt like belonged, and what had he done for her?

She felt so unworthy that she didn't think they would care if she was sick? If she was dying? If she opted out? How did he let things get to this? All the times that he had leaned on her, all the times she was kept him going... And he'd let her down when she needed him most. The pain was almost suffocating him.

They hadn't dressed her, he could see her bruised skin below the sheet. Sascha and Maggie had felt her ribs and were fairly certain none were broken so that was a plus. She had to pull through this the other option wasn't an option.

"How did you figure out what was wrong with her so quick?" He asked his voice breaking.

"Well Eugene figured it out after he saw.." Glenn started then stopped looking at Rick.

"Saw what?" He asked confused.

"Well...Eugene might have been spying on her...while she was changing." Rick said grabbing hold of his wrist when he went to rise of the chair.

"I'm gonna kill him" Daryl muttered

"No your not...we need him...he's already helped her..you'll owe him one." Rick said.

His body was rigid in indecision as she started screaming on the bed.

"Sophia...Sophia...Sophia"

Her voice was broken whimpering. The three men instinctively knowing what she was reliving.

Daryl felt his heart ripping out of his chest. Fuck no, not this he thought as he watched her thrashing. Fuck it he thought.

He kicked off his boots and tore his shirt over his head. He heard Glenn and Rick's intake of breath, they'd never seen his scars. He didn't fucking care as he lifted the sheet and got into bed with her. Careful of her injuries he wrapped his arms around her.

She was burning up her body shaking with rigours. She seemed to sigh when she felt his presence burying closer to him instinctively. The burning hot skin of her chest flush against his own.

The shaking stopped and she calmed seemingly comforted by his presence.

He heard Rick and Glenn leave the room.

She turned towards him eyes unseeing, not lucid in anyway.

"She's gone Daryl" her voice was shattered like it had just happened like she was reliving it.

"I know..it's okay..I gotcha" he whispered into her ear rubbing her back in a calming manner.

"Don't let me go" she whispered as she fell back to sleep.

He pressed a kiss to her sweaty brow

"Never"