Hello!! yes! I have gotten THREE REVIEWS!! how exciting! thanks to amobutterfly25, YourImpendingDemise123, and VeggieGurl896 for my first three reviews! Woot! I really like your comments, and consructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome. Also, everyone who is reading and not reviewing, thanks so much for reading! I hope you like it so far! Here's another chapter...WARNING: emotional, watch out

Chapter 4

When I woke up, a bright light was trying to get in through my eyelids. I had no idea how long I had been out, but the chill of Edward's-or at least my imagined Edward's-arms around me was gone. I hadn't expected him to still be there, it was just wishful thinking, but I couldn't help but feel a wave of disappointment.

I soon heard voices, arguing for some reason or another. I recognized them, though there were way too many to pick out who was who. They were hushed, as if trying not to wake someone up. It took me a while to realize that someone was me. But I didn't want to open my eyes.

First off, it was because I was afraid of what I would, or rather, wouldn't, see. Secondly, I was afraid of the wrath that was Charlie in Dad Mode, and third, the room was much too bright for my taste. My brain slowly worked on it though, and my curiosity got the best of me, my eyelids gradually opening.

At first I didn't think I had fully woke up, or that my eyesight was entirely normal. The first face I was Charlie's, his stern expression turned away from me toward the group of people. The second face I saw, surprising as it was, was Doctor Cullen. Carlisle? I blinked a couple times, and my sleep ridden eyes began to adjust better.

One by one, the Cullens all came into view. One by one, shocking me with a force that acted like a blow to the face. I think I stopped breathing, but soon enough I realized that these weren't hallucinations. They couldn't be, because Charlie was staring right at them, albeit angrily. But they were there, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, even Rosalie. And as soon as I heard myself gasp, in delight, surprise, realization. They heard me too, and all turned to look at once.

Faster than I could've dreamed Edward was next to me, his face only inches from mine, his hands on either side of my face.

"See?" He asked me. I nodded, feeling the tears that spilt over and were already covering my face and hair. I forgot for the moment the arguing I had heard, but I remembered as soon as Charlie coughed and we all turned to look at him. Edward kept his hand intertwined in mine as he stood up, and helped me get into a sitting position even as I cried.

"Dad, please," I begged him, already knowing what was on his mind. My tears didn't stop, and I knew that my father would let it go for now. He nodded, and followed the rest of the Cullens out of the room.

When they were all out of site, Edward's face was so close to mine I could feel his cool breath mix with my own. My eyes were still surging with salty tears. They were both happy, and sad, because as happy as I was that he was there, I knew it couldn't be for long, because he didn't feel the same anymore. And I still did. So much so that he couldn't be with me.

The thought made me cry harder, jagged sobs ripping through my chest.

"Bella? Bella calm down," He kissed my forehead and I melted. But my weeping didn't cease. It grew in intensity, and I didn't calm down at all. But as I was crying, I clenched my teeth and looked him in the eye.

"You're making it so much worse," I said, my voice cracking, quiet, barely even audible. He looked confused.

"What? What am I making worse?"

"It hurts to know you don't want me anymore, but what hurts more is you being here to remind me of that!" The level of my voice grew as I realized more truth in what I already knew.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I knew what I was talking about, but he didn't understand. Because nothing I had said made much sense. The irrational anger in me had taken over my words, and my actions. I hit him as hard as I could with my balled up fist, which wasn't very hard because I was so weak from painkillers.

"Stop it!" I yelled "Just stop it from hurting!" He grabbed my wrists, to stop me from hurting myself, and looked me straight on. I couldn't even think of looking away, so I just sat there and looked at him through watery eyes. His face was horrified. He looked like he was in as much pain as I felt. His breathing was hard, as if he were crying without tears. Agony was plain in his features, and I had never seen so much distress behind his eyes.

"How can you believe such a lie?" He asked. I was confused, but he kept on. "How could you believe for one second that I don't want you? Bella I need you. I love you. I want you every day for the rest of forever. I want to make it stop hurting, just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it!"

I stopped breathing for the second time that day. Only this time it wasn't because I was shocked or excited. No. I was scared.

"Edward-" My voice shook so bad I could barely understand my own words.

"Bella," He interrupted, his face growing closer to mine, "I thought it was what was best for you. I had no idea you would be so…" he was at a loss for a words. I took his hands off of mine, and held them tightly.

"Broken?" I asked. He nodded, and then he wrapped his arms around me, heaving as if sobbing just as hard as I was before. Sobbing without tears. I moved over, and he climbed onto the small hospital bed, where he calmed himself down, but did not let go of me.

I waited, waited for him to talk, and pulled my arms around him tightly, reassuring him that I understood, even though I didn't yet. He drew in a long breath.

"I thought," He said, "that without me, you would be safer. I thought that you would forget about me, and go on and live your life as if I didn't exist. I knew you wouldn't agree with me so I had to lie to you, and Bella, that was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do. When Alice saw you hanging out with that Aidan kid, I…" He took a deep breath and tried at keeping his composure, and then continued, "I couldn't let you hurt yourself like that."

"But why did you care what I did after you were gone?" I asked, looking up at him, I knew he could see all the doubt I still had.

"Bella were you not listening?" He touched the side of my face with his cold hand and pulled me as close as possible. Every plain of my body seemed to fit to his perfectly. Like a puzzle, that had taken much too long to solve. Edward's voice was a whisper now, "So many times I've told you I love you, and all it takes is one lie to make you stop believing that?"

"Edward, it was never even logical that you love me in the first place." I stated the obvious.

"How can I make you believe me?" He asked, "I have only ever felt this way around you, and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. But I know I hurt you and I will never stop trying to make up for that."

"It still hurts," I whispered, "I know you only wanted the best for me, but, I felt like I was dead." I knew my words ran together, and my sentences weren't fully cohesive. But Edward understood.

"I know, and if I could ever do anything to make that pain go away I would in a heart beat. I'll leave, I'll disappear…I'll do anything." I sniffled, and pressed my face into his chest. I knew the question I wanted to ask him. It was the question that had been burning the inside of my throat since I realized he was really there. So I looked up and met his attentive gaze, and I asked him.

"Will you stay?"