A/N: lol how long has it been? I just suck lol.

Edward woke up just as the sun was rising. Another restless night where he kept tossing and turning. Images of his beautiful wife haunted him, ghostly dreams that were so lifelike it was as if he could touch her. Only to try, and find himself waking up to the bitter reality of her being gone. Where he was so far gone that he would find himself close to screaming with guilt. His fingers gripping his skull so hard that he was sure he'd left bruises.

As he sat in the soft light of the rising sun, he thought over the last few weeks.

He'd been staying with Al for a little under six weeks now. Where he drifted between being productive being useless as the sorrow rendered him useless.

But he was trying, and trying was all he could do.

He was spending more with Annelise, acting more like the Father he should've been in the wake of Winry's passing. He would pick her up from school, help her with homework.. And on good days, help get her ready for school. But those days had been few and far between.

Because it didn't do him any good to wallow around in bed, with Al raising his young daughter. So he'd try, he'd try like his Mother did when his Father left. Where she would rise out of bed with a smile, undeterred by how wrecked her heart was or how lost she must've felt. But his Mother was over a thousand times better than him, she was robust where he was feeble. Ed only wishes to be half as good a parent as she was.

In the rising light of the sun, Edward let the agony of losing his wife consume him at will. Letting the pain swallow him whole for just a moment, so that when he rises he can go on. Go on without the baggage of emotion he always carries with him.

As dawn finally broke, and the sun began to rise. Edward rose from the bed. Wiping the tear stains from his cheeks, he walked away from the safety of his bed and began to get his day started.

Walking into the kitchen, Al was taken aback by seeing Ed sitting at the table. A cup of coffee in one hand and a thick packet of papers in the other. His brother was fully dressed and ready for the day, his hair was even braided! Something Al had not seen his brother do in a long, long time. "Brother!" Al started in an excited tone, "What are you doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep, just decided to get up and get it over with." Edward answered, taking another sip of his coffee. "What time do I need to get Annelise up?"

Al didn't respond at first, he was just so surprised by Edward's sudden change. Edward was up and ready before seven, something that was unusual even before Winry's passing. "Uh, seven." Al answered, slightly stumbling.

"Alright." Edward answered, flipping the page of his packet. "Do I need to pack her a lunch?"

"If you don't want her eating the shit they serve in the cafeteria, then yeah." Alphonse answered, taking a seat at the table he began to check his phone. Looking up, he see's that Ed's gaze has drifted back to the packet. It's thick, and Al can see that Edward is enwrapped in the the small black text that's printed across the paper. "What are you reading?" Al asked, resting his cheek in his hand as he let out a small yawn, still not quite awake.

"A new scientific study about the rising sea levels." Edward answered swiftly, his eyes never leaving the paper.

"Thought you didn't like reading about environmental science?" Alphonse asked, a small smile playing way to his lips.

"Only study that we had enough paper to print." Edward answered. "So I settled for it, since the other study was fifty pages long and we didn't have enough ink for that."

"Well I'll just have to get more printer ink then." Al said with a smile. Al was glad to see Edward up and on his feet without having to be practically pulled out of bed. And for him to be reading about science? This meant that Edward was slowly returning to his old self, getting back into the swing of things.

Edward's eyes drifted to the clock, finding it was almost six-thirty. He decided that it was time to start making Annelise's lunch. "Alright, so what's the kid like packed in her lunch?" Edward asked as he headed towards the pantry.

Opening the pantry doors, Edward met with a variety of familiar foods and brands. Being raised in the country the boys often ate homegrown food and rarely had any 'junk' foods. They both kept with these habits their Mother instilled in them. But, since Al lived in the city and didn't have room for a garden of fruits and veggies, he settled with the next best thing. Organic, everything.

"Hmmm, she likes peanut butter and jelly of course, but she also likes chicken and cheese sandwiches." Al started, "She likes any of the fruits in the fridge and those cheese bunny crackers."

"What do you usually pack her to drink?" Edward asked.

"Water." Al answered with a smile. "Sometimes I give her juice, or milk, but I usually just pack her water."

"Alright, thanks." Edward said as he began to pull all his ingredients out. Peanut butter, grape jelly, bread, cheddar bunny crackers... Turning to the fridge, he began to pull out the refrigerated ingredients. A yoghurt squeeze tube, raspberries, and carrots.

Al sat at the table, watching his brother with a careful eye. It was the clear that he had not slept well, as Al knew his brother like the back of his hand. Edward Elric did not wake up before seven unless he was truly rattled. Al could only assume that Edward had spent his night tossing and turning through dreams where Winry was still here. The dark circles under his eyes told the younger Elric enough. Edward was barely sleeping anymore, barely eating, but somehow he was able to put on a mask to hid all of this from Annelise. But it'd take an army to fool Alphonse and he knew that it'd take an army to convince Edward that he needed to change before he dropped dead.

But, he'd still try.

"You know, you'd look a lot better with a full nights rest." Alphonse suggested, sounding far more like a Doctor than a brother.

"You know, I'd look a lot better without you breathing down my throat." Edward answered in a snark tone. It was such an Edward Elric response that Alphonse wondered how much longer it'd take to get his brother back. This other person who lived in Ed had long overstayed their welcome. Al just wanted his big brother back...

Al was slow to respond. "I just want you healthy, Edward." he started, picturing the vivd dark circles under his eyes. "You look like you've hardly gotten any sleep in days, and I just don't want to see you run down."

Edward shook his head as he began to wash the raspberries, "I'm not run down, Al." he answered. "I'm fine."

"It's going to catch up with you soon, and I hope that I'm here to catch you instead of the stairs, or the countertop." Al replied, "I don't need you to become one of my patients."

"And I don't need you being my doctor." Edward answered harshly, muttering obscenities under his breath.

"I only want to help you, Brother." Al answered, albeit sadly. "The way you've been living is going to catch up to you soon, hardly sleeping and barely eating isn't good for you." Al spoke in a somber tone. "What good will it do Annelise if you're sick?"

Edward stopped for a minute, his hand resting on the woven nylon of Annelise's lunch box. He was quiet for a minute, but Al could see the gears turning in his mind. "Do you think I really want to be like this, Alphonse?" Edward asked in a void tone.

The emptiness of his tone worried Al, adding on to the constant gnawing worry for his brother that was always present. "No, I don't." Al replied. "But I just wanted to remind you that there are people here who need you, and they need you to be happy and healthy."

'I need you here, I cannot do this without you.' Alphonse thought. Because in the back of his mind, their is a thought always gnawing at him that he will wake and Edward will be gone. Because he knows Edward's grief is a tidal wave and he is merely waiting for the day when that tidal wave will swallow him whole. Because he fears that Edward is so rash, that one day Al will be the one trying to bring him back to life because of Ed's stupid rash actions.

Edward began cutting up Annelise's carrots, and Alphonse watched. But his mind was far off, thinking of the days when he wasn't constantly worried about his brother.

Edward had just said goodbye to Annelise, watching as she walked into the colorful classroom.

Her teacher welcomed her with a bright smile, helping her hang up her backpack before sending her off to her desk. A slight tear began to form in Ed's eye, he just could not believe how big she was getting.

After standing at the door for a few minutes, Edward began to walk down the hall. Ready to get his own day started, he was just about out the door when he brushed shoulders with a familiar onyx haired man. "Oops, sorry." Edward said with a sheepish smile.

Looking up, he saw Roy walking out the door as well. Roy smiled at him, "Well, I've never seen you at drop off before." Roy said.

Edward smiled, "I'm working on it." Edward said albeit shy, "But I was up early today, so I decided to get my ass in gear."

Roy's smiled dropped a bit, sad to know his friend was still struggling so much. "Mornings are tough, regardless of what you're going through." Roy started. "Kids don't like to wake up early, and when going through what losing your partner brings, it's hard to put up the fight."

Edward looked up at Roy, who was becoming such a good shoulder to lean. He just understood the struggle that Edward was going through everyday... It was just so easy to be honest with him. "Nights are hard for me," Edward admitted. "I don't sleep half of the time, I use to hardly move at all but now I feel like I have to be moving." Ed continued, "I have to be doing something or the memories will haunt me till I'm swallowed whole by the depression."

Roy was about to answer, when the loud shrill of the bell began to echoe through the hallways. Fifteen minutes had passed since their kids had gone off to class, yet they were still standing in the doorway talking. "How's a cup of coffee sounds?" Roy asked suddenly, "We can sit and chat for awhile."

Edward, surprised by the sudden question, "Uh, sure." he answered, "Where do you want to go?"

Roy smiled, glad the blonde had agreed to his request. "There's a nice little shop down the road, I'll walk you to your car and give you the directions."

A slight blush began to dust Edward's cheeks, "Alright."

"You seem to be doing a little bit better." Roy announced as soon as they sat down.

Edward shrugged, "I am and I'm not." He answered, "The days aren't so bad now, it's just when night falls and I'm all alone with my thoughts that it gets me."

"Nights are hard, even now I still have some that are unbelievably difficult to get through." Roy answered truthfully, "When you're all alone, your thoughts can consume you. If you let things spiral down far enough, they can overcome you."

"How do you get through them?" Edward asked, picking slightly at his skin.

"I keep myself busy." Roy answered, "I'll make a cup of tea, read a book, or sleep downstairs for the night where the TV will help keep the thoughts at bay." Roy continued. "Though, if they get bad enough I'll call a good friend of mine." Roy paused for a minute. "But those truly bad nights don't happen that often anymore, I can manage better."

Silence fell for a minute, Roy was the one to break it. "But the loss of my wife mixes in with other baggage I carry, so there are other reasons that nights are trying for me."

"I've got my baggage too." Edward answered, taking a large sip of his coffee. But his right hand automatically clenched into a fist. Roy didn't know, Roy couldn't know, and he'd make sure Roy wouldn't know.

For now.

"I was in the war." Roy announced suddenly, drawing circles around the styrofoam lid of his coffee . "The rebellion out south back in the early nineties, I spent several years out there."

Edward was quiet for a minute, "I remember that.." He started. "My Mother was terrified that I'd get drafted, I was just shy of it by a few months."

Roy sighed, "I was never drafted, I choose to go." Roy answered easily, "But let's not talk abut the war, I'd rather know more about you." Roy followed with a smile.

Edward shrugged, "Not much to talk about, don't do much these days."

Roy took a slow sip of his coffee, "Well, what'd you do before coming here?" Roy asked.

"Resembol didn't have much, but I worked in a research lab at the local college." Edward answered, taking a small sip of his coffee and letting the caffeine slowly wake him up.

Roy blinked, not quite expecting that answer. "Wow," Roy started, "that's something."

Edward shrugged again, "I guess." he answered. "Only thing that doesn't bore me, science keeps moving and there are always new things to discover and find, it keeps me busy." He paused for a minute. "Though I haven't read much since she died, this morning I was reading a study about the rising sea levels."

"So you like environmental science?" Roy asked, leaning back in his chair slightly as he took another sip of his coffee.

Edward chuckled, "Not really," he answered, "Chemistry is more my thing, but it was the only study I was able to print off."

"I like Chemistry too." Roy said, "But probably not in the same way you do." Roy said with a small chuckle.

Edward smiled, "My brother calls my relationship with chemistry borderline obsessive, my wife would say I was infatuated with it." He let out a slight chuckle, "Often times she joked that I loved it more than her." Edward let out another chuckle.

Roy smirked, "My wife said the same thing about me and politics."

"Ahh, so you're a political man?" Edward asked with a small smirk, taking another sip of coffee.

"Yup, I work in politics." Roy answered smoothly. "I actually work at an office down the street."

"What do you do?" Edward asked, drawing circles around the rim of his cup.

"I'm an attorney." Roy answered with a grin, "My best friend and I have a firm together."

Reaching for his wallet, Roy passed a stiff business card to Edward. Edward took it and slowly read the embossed letters, 'R.M.H Attorney's at Law'. "Nice." He said slowly, rubbing at his temple slightly. He felt a headache coming on very suddenly.

Maybe the coffee was a bad idea.

Maybe not eating was a bad idea.

Maybe he should've slept more. Or at all.

'Maybe Al was right..' Edward thought, rubbing at his eyes. He felt off, he felt weird.

"Ed?" Roy asked, his voice sounding concerned. But he sounded far away, almost like Ed was underwater.

Edward let out a groan, and mumbled something incoherently.

But then he suddenly collapsed, sliding off of his chair. Everything seemed to move in slow motion all of a sudden. Roy tried to be as quick as he could, but Edward collided with the corner of the table before Roy could get to him.

"Edward!" Roy cried, rushing to his side. He caught the man just before he collided with the tiled floor.

Roy began to immediately check him over for injuries. He had sustained a nasty cut from the corner of the table, and Roy could tell there was going to be a nice bruise to accompany it. Roy knew he needed to get Edward to a hospital, as the man more than likely sustained a concussion from the ordeal.

Checking him over, Roy declared that Edward was in no urgent need of paramedics. So with no ambulance being needed, and the hospital being an under five-minute drive even in the early morning traffic, Roy decided that he would take the man to the hospital.

A/N: I'm sure you all hate me for ending it in such a crappy way, but I promise chapter 5 will be up ASAP!