At the same time, Haruka sat in front of her laptop, staring at the screen without really seeing the words written on it; every now and then, her gaze would move to the cane leaning against the desk next to her, and she glared at it, hating what it stood for and what it meant for her.
Since Hotaru had gone off to school and Setsuna was busy working in her room, the house was uncharacteristically quiet; Haruka still remembered well how it had been filled with laughter and joy before the accident, something which had vanished along with her ability to walk properly when she finally had been allowed to leave the hospital and go back home.
Now, she reflected bitterly, there barely was any joy around anymore; she still was as kind with Hotaru as she always had been, but the love Michiru and she had shared seemingly had died during her stay in the hospital and when she had learned what the aqua haired girl had allowed to be done to her, her hands clenching into fists again at the mere thought, the pain which radiated from her leg again only underlining her anger and bitterness about the whole situation.
Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath, finding herself wondering what Michiru and the Inner Senshi were up to right now, if they were having fun without her or if they were discussing what had happened to her, something she knew they had done before – Michiru never had told her directly that they had, but she'd overheard her talking about it to Setsuna, and the thought of all the Senshi talking about her and how her life had been ruined only increased her anger.
"Why did this have to happen to me?" she whispered to herself, not sure whom she was asking. "Everything was going so well, my career was really taking off, and then… Why? Am I not allowed to be happy?"
All at once, her anger vanished into nothingness, replaced by sadness so great that it almost made her choke; she squeezed her eyes shut to fight against the tears, then suddenly pushed her chair back from the desk and came to her feet, gripping the wooden edge for support as she ignored the cane, something she had done six dozen times before and something which always had ended the same way.
"You can do this", she still mumbled to herself, not knowing and not caring if perhaps, Setsuna could hear her in her room downstairs; gritting her teeth, she let go of the desk and took a hesitating step away from it, and the moment she tried to put weight on her right leg, it gave in beneath her with a bright flash of pain so big that it actually made her see stars as she slumped down to the ground, ending up on all fours with a low thump and a cry of frustration, slamming her fist down onto the carpet while her leg trembled uselessly and uncontrollably.
Not even daring to try and stand up, the blonde rolled over on the carpet, then moved backwards with shuffling moves vaguely reminding of a crab until her back hit the wall; squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to will the now brightly burning pain away, cursing herself for her stubbornness which had led to yet another useless attempt of trying to walk without the support of the cane, despite all the failed tries she had made before.
Forcing her eyes open again, she looked longingly at the orange bottle of painkillers standing on her desk; judging from how her leg felt right now though, they might as well be standing up on the moon – not even if she'd try to crawl, as humiliating as that would be, she'd make it to the table, not with the way her leg was howling at her in pain, feeling as if someone had dozed the muscles and sinews inside with gasoline and had set them on fire.
Feeling sweat form on her brow, and briefly marvelling at the fact that people actually could sweat from pain, Haruka leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, taking slow and deep breaths as she tried to will the pain away, finally unable to stop her tears from falling as she sat there so helpless and hurting, once again asking herself why this had to happen to her.
When Michiru returned to the house she shared with Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru, it was quiet, something which had been a rare occurrence before the accident – often, she'd find Haruka and Setsuna in the kitchen, sharing jokes and laughter, or her blonde partner and their adopted daughter in the garage, with Haruka working on the car and explaining everything to an eagerly listening Hotaru.
Holding back a sigh at how quiet their home had become ever since the crash, Michiru took off her shoes and jacket, then moved to Setsuna's room, knocking the door and waiting for the elder woman to call out "Yes?" before she opened; immediately, Setsuna smiled at her and asked her how the meeting with the Inners had been, prompting the aqua haired girl to shrug and lean against the doorframe quite gracefully as she replied.
"As always", she let the Senshi of time and space know, "at first we had quite the serious topic, and then Usagi and Rei started fighting."
"Some things never change", Setsuna commented, making Michiru smile slightly and nod – before she grew serious again and asked her friend if she knew how Haruka was doing, not surprised when the elder woman declined.
"Haven't seen her since she went up to the office", Setsuna then added, not even trying to sound apologetic – since she didn't agree with the way Haruka treated Michiru ever since the accident, the relationship between the former racer and her had noticeably cooled off during the last six months, making Michiru wonder if soon, Hotaru would be the only one of their small unorthodox family Haruka would be kind to.
"I'll go and check on her", she told Setsuna, ignoring the dismayed look she received for her words, but at least, Setsuna didn't try anymore to convince her that she didn't need to look after the blonde that way as long as Haruka was treating her like crap, "just to make sure she ate something."
"You do that", Setsuna sighed, knowing it'd be a waste of time to try and talk the aqua haired girl out of this; smiling at her, Michiru retreated from the room and closed the door behind herself, then made her way upstairs, her smile fading away once again as she approached the door leading to Haruka's office.
Taking in a deep breath, she steeled herself for the indifference she's surely be treated with again, then knocked the door; her whole body tensed as she waited for the blonde's gruff voice to come up behind the wood, and it took her almost a minute to realize that there wasn't any answer, the violinist frowning to herself as she knocked yet again, this time accompanying the knock with a questioning "Haruka?".
When the office stayed silent yet again, Michiru had a few moments to wonder if maybe, Haruka had gone out without telling Setsuna; then, she realized how unlikely this was to happen, knowing how much the blonde hated it to go out into public with her cane and her limp, and right after that realization had come to her, she heard the weak groan from behind the door, her heart suddenly beating up to her throat as within the blink of an eye, a million of unpleasant scenarios ran through her mind, ranging from Haruka falling and hitting her head on the edge of the desk to the former racer taking too many of her painkillers and ending up with an overdose.
Pushing all concerns about how Haruka might react to this in case nothing bad had happened, but she just was doing something harmless which had kept her from hearing the knock, like talking on the phone or listening to music or perhaps simply being too focused to notice, Michiru pushed the door open and stepped into the office; she just had taken in another breath to say her partner's name again, but the word died on her lips as she spotted the blonde, momentarily feeling as if she'd end up on the carpet right next to her, possibly with a heart attack or spontaneous apoplexy.
"Haruka!" she finally managed to cry out as she rushed to where the blonde was sitting on the ground, her back leaned against the wall; her face was dreadfully pale, the skin glistening with sweat, dark sweat stains on her shirt as well, her eyes so full of pain when she looked at Michiru that it made the violinist's heart clench up.
"Haruka", she repeated, making her way over to the blonde and kneeling down next to her, "what happened?"
"I tried to walk", the blonde whispered in reply, her hoarse voice and puffy eyes showing Michiru that she had cried, "and it didn't work out, of course it didn't… it hurts Michiru…"
It was the first time since the revelation of what the doctors had been forced to do that Haruka spoke to her with something else than indifference and coldness in her voice; the aqua haired girl would have preferred it to be an emotion other than pain and suffering, but still made herself smile reassuringly at the taller woman, after a second of hesitation reaching out and placing a tender hand on her arm, glad when Haruka didn't pull away from the touch.
"You know you shouldn't do this", she told her in a tender voice, momentarily afraid that she had said the wrong thing now, that Haruka would get angry at her again; instead, the blonde just hung her head and let out a watery breath, briefly making Michiru wonder if she was close to tears again.
With a feeling close to amazement, the aqua haired girl realized that, if Haruka should cry in front of her now, it'd be the first time since the accident that the taller woman would allow herself to show such distress in front of her partner; so far, she always had acted remarkably composed around Michiru, making it clear that she blamed her for what had happened, but never showing her emotions about it, only doing so whenever she was alone and unseen.
"Come on", Michiru pushed those thoughts aside and focused on her partner again, her heart aching at seeing her in such pain, "you should lie down, let me help you… please."
Under any other circumstances, Haruka would have declined the offer, would have told her once again that she had done more than enough already; sitting on the carpet for what felt like an eternity though, in pain and unable to do anything against it, had put her in such a vulnerable state that all she could do was nod, letting it happen that Michiru wrapped one arm around her waist and helped her up without protest, even leaning on the smaller woman heavily as her leg screamed in pain again.
"Come on", Michiru repeated, not letting it show if Haruka's weight almost hanging on her fully was bothering her, "we better get you to the bedroom. I'll never understand why you chose to put your office up on the first floor."
For a moment, Haruka felt like blowing up at her at this comment, then swallowed the angered words and just let out a wry chuckle; Michiru smiled up at her in response, then helped her out of the office and down the stairs, keeping her arm around the blonde's waist the whole time, giving her the support and strength she needed to reach the bedroom safely and without increasing the pain her leg more than it was absolutely unavoidable.