A/N: Okay, so this chapter starts out with Kailyn holding a conversation with the Goddess. This means that she is a practicioner of Witchcraft, but her's is a hybrid I guess you would call it. She worships the Goddess but she also believes in God. THe fact that she can hear the Goddess has some significance in later chapters, points for whoever draws a connection between this and a statement made by Cas at the beginning of Season Four Supernatural series. Thanks for all the reviews, they make me write faster. Review please.
I was sitting on the picnic bench that was situated a few yards away from the motel, looking at the trees that surrounded the place. It was a type of beauty that reminded me of home, before my mother was killed. Though I loved Bobby Singer and Singer Salvage, a part of me had died with her the day that I learned a that she had been murdered by a Deava out for revenge. Nature was my place to escape the horror and strife of my everyday life and experience a sliver of calmness. A crow perched on the branch of an oak sapling cocked its head to the side. I smiled to myself and opened my mind to the Goddess.
'Goddess, I need your help. Castiel has told me that his father and siblings don't know what to do to remedy the problem except killing my bother. What can I do to make him stop what he's been doing?' I pleaded to the Goddess waiting for her to reply.
The voice of serenity permeated my mind as she answered, 'I know you worry about your brother, the problem is not his addiction but the demon that started it. I know you have thought the same thing Kailyn Winchester. Kill the demon and you free Sam.'
'I would do that in a heartbeat Goddess, even if I went down in the process. But Sammy would resent me for killing her. The poor idiot has fallen in love with her it would seem. I'm going to try to talk some sense into him when he comes back from wherever he is. I will seek your guidance after I talk to him.' I said, feeling the gentle breeze whisper across my face but not opening my eyes lest I break contact with the Goddess.
'My son will be of assistance to you my dear. It would seem that he has developed some feelings for you. He tries to mask it as friendly affection because he hasn't felt in many years.' The Goddess informed, a small laugh echoing in my consciousness.
'He can't, God will take his grace and he will fall. My angel Castiel will fall. Goddess why did you tell me that, now I have two men and an angel to take care of?' I answered, my mind picturing Castiel's host dead and my angel gone.
'I did not mean to upset you my dear, but I know that the same feelings stir inside you as well. You forget that I have some sway over my husband. I love my children and I protect them. Castiel is not Azazel; you were a Wiccan before Castiel was sent to guide you. Always keep your faith in me I will never desert you.' She offered in reassurance.
From down the road I heard the familiar sound of the Impala purring toward the motel. 'Goddess, watch over me. I want to thank you for your council, it has been helpful. Sammy's almost here.' I said listening as the moment of reckoning approached.
'You have divine help; I will be with you in spirit.' She answered, ending our discussion with the prayer she always used, 'Have faith in the light…'
'And illuminate the darkness." I finished aloud, opening my eyes and ending my connection to the Goddess. Sam whipped the Impala into a spot in front of the rooms and got out of the car, smiling his puppy dog smile when he saw me. I returned the smile and motioned him to join me.
He nodded and held up the bag of food that he had in his hand before he started toward me. When he reached the bench he sat down with me and sat the bag beside him as he wrapped me in a hug.
"How's my favorite sister this morning?" he asked when he let go.
"Weary big brother, very weary, not only did I find out that a certain angel has feelings for me but I have a vision that tells me one of my brothers is on the road to dying… again." I said, looking over at him.
"What did you see, which one of us?" Sam asked, concern replacing his smile.
"Sam, I know what you're doing. I know how your powers are developing so fast. It isn't right, you can't do it anymore." I answered.
"When did you have the vision?" he asked silently, neither denying nor confirming my statement.
"Last night. You were in a dark room with Ruby, she slit her wrist and you drank her blood. Sam, if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll become what Azazel wanted. Lilith has a plan for you and I'm pretty sure it isn't because of your hunting attitude." I replied, my tone was calm, something that I'd picked up from Mac.
"I can kill demons now, kill them Kail not just send them to Hell but kill them. I've saved lives with it, yours and Dean's included. How can you ask me to stop when you owe your life to it?" Sam asked, defending himself.
"It's a demon given power Sam! Every time you use it, you become even more corrupted. I blame myself for part of it because I left you after Dean went to Hell. If I hadn't left Ruby never would have convinced you that it was the only way to defeat Lilith. Dad would never have wanted this, Mary either." I said, sliding off the bench and turning to look down at him. "Sam you are my brother and I love you, but I will not stand by and watch you go down the path that surely guarantees your damnation"
"What do you intend to do?" he asked, looking up at me, pain on his face at my cutting words.
"The angels don't know what to do. Yes I told Castiel, you should have figured that I would, the only thing that they can think of is to kill you other than let you be used by Lilith. I haven't had visions of what the end of the war looks like but I know that if I have anything to do about it you will be there to see it. The Goddess advised me that if I kill Ruby, I can save you." I said, sitting back down next to him.
"I can't let you do that. She saved my life; I still owe her for that." Sam argued.
"Sam, I've already made up my mind. She will die by my hand. As far as you owing her your life, that's bullshit. The day you started drinking her blood that contract became null and void. Now you either let me kill her or you stop me." I answered, standing.
"What if I promise never to do it again, both the drinking her blood and using the power, would you still kill her?" he asked, looking up.
"You promised Dean that you wouldn't, but you did. Sam, what happened to you? You aren't my brother anymore, not the same one before Dean died." I questioned, walking back toward the motel room.
"Dean died and you left me. Ruby was the only one I had. I couldn't do it by myself. I hate myself for the person I've become but I can't change it now." Sam called after me.
I turned and looked at him, "You aren't alone now Sammy. Think about your answer and let me know. I love you big brother, I don't want to lose you."