Stoics on sale
Kickers-ej
Disclaimer: WHY? WHY?!!! WHY IS NARUTO NOT MINE!!!!!????!
No 4: The Triple Threat
He was losing precious time. Naruto knew that if he did not hurry up, Sasuke will be lost forever. He could picture it now..
"Neji, I love your super mega ultra smexy hair!"
"I'll give you something else to love, dear, dear Sasu-chan..heheheh,"
Naryto shook his head rapidly, all the while scanning the area for Sasuke's chakra. There is no way Sasuke will say those stuff! And Neji isn't interested in Sasuke in any way!
Right?
"No!! Stay away! My heart, body and soul belongs to Uzumaki Naruto, the macho-est macho seme of all times!" cried a disgruntled Sasuke, pushing Neji as far as his arms allowed him to.
"Too bad...he can't save you now," Neji closed his distance with Sasuke for the kill.
Neji is soo dead if he tries anything on Naruto's Sasuke dammit!
"Did you hear? The NejiSasu club bought this weird drug from my store. It's supposed to make whoever consumes it act in ways out of whack!"
"I hope nobody will get hurt,"
Naruto sped up. He better hurry!
Needless to say, Gaara was also rushing towards the NejiSasu club as well. His sand was trailing dangerously behind him. The public was wise enough to saty out of his way. Sadly, tht was not the case with Kiba, Shino and Hinata, who got mauled with his sand for standing in his path.
Neji better not do anything he will regret. It was no secret that the damned Uchiha was attracted to the Uzumaki kit, therefore Gaara was in no worry about them suddenly realizing that they liked each other and decide to have a relationship. But he was worried that Neji, being single and of questionable sexuality would harbor feelings towards said Uchiha. Who wouldn't?! Even his deranged brother had perverted thoughts about the young Uchiha! So if someone with the emotional capacity of a snowflake was obsessed over Sasuke, what about us normal guys?(It was beyond Gaara's mind power to process the fact that he was anything but normal at this time)
Still, he was losing precious time. To keep his Neji all pure from the touches of other beings, Gaara hoped that he will arrive in time, sweep Neji off his feet, run into the netherlands, or Vegas, where it would be legal to have gay marriages.
Little did he know, he was running the wrong way.
"You sold him to whom??!!!" bellowed the other Uchiha, who was currently in Tsunade's office only to find his job was over for the day, and his brother was about to be forced into an erotic fanservice show with none other than Hyuuga Neji. He was not happy at this event. If someone was going to grope, kiss or molest Sasuke, it will be him!
"I don't see why it is your business.." Tsunade's rant fell on deaf ears as Itachi focused his chakra in finding his brothers whereabouts. No luck, the club must be really professional at hiding their tracks. He snapped his gaze back at the Hokage. It was one thing to be sold to women, but to have his brother doing naughty stuff with other guys was just plain rude! He smirked, the contract said he couldn't hurt his clients, but Tsunade wasn't a client, was she?
"Tsukiyomi!" yep, we don't wanna know what psycho realm Itachi has put Tsunade into, do we now?
Not being a genius for nothing, Itachi quickly dashed off to save his brother.
"UMMPPHHH! UMPH! UMMPPPHH!"
If girls (and perverted guys) was to see the helpless state that Sasuke was in, they would gladly kill their own family for such a golden opportunity. Not only was the Uchiha gagged, bound with chains and was placed conveniently on a chair for molesting pleasure, his shirt was ripped at places so suggestive, no further suggestions was needed. Neji, on the other hand, now the victim of said drug(mentioned above) and was slowly losing himself more and more. Sasuke hoped for Neji's sake (cause he will kick ass after this ordeal is through, and not to mention his brother, after serious groping, will kick Neji's ass too) that the Hyuuga will not do anything stupid.
"Why Sasuke, your hair is soooo soft, it's like a kitten's fur," with that heavy petting ensued, while a gagged Uchiha glared beneath black bangs, eyes promising death and pain after death.
Get your hands off you white eyed pansy!
"What is it? Oh, yes. I was just wondering about something today," Neji babbled on, like a husband chatting with his wife.
"I was with those girls when I realized that, after all these years, why did I not have any interest in them?"
That's because you are GAY!
"Then it occured to me, I may be gay!"
Duh! I knew it the moment you pranced about fate and destiny! That's is soo GAY! Just like your gay team mate, who pranced about youth!
"But I need to be sure,"
Don't even think about it!
"Then Tsunade sent me to these guys, and I must say, checking if I'm gay by testing it with you is really turning me on,"
I said don't!
"What? You want to find out too? Well, I shall not disappoint," Neji continued to pat Sasuke, his hands then slowly getting lower and lower. He swiped his thumb on Sasuke's lips, slowly but surely inching his face closer as well.
Aniki! Save me! Eeewww! That's gross!
Neji puffed his breath onto Sasuke's cheeks, running his thumb onto the curve of Sasuke's neck. The NejiSasu club was on overdrive. The drug worked wonders!
"I am definitely gay,"
I already knew that! Stop touching me! Naruto!
In Neji's blatant disregard of Sasuke's protest, his hair fell onto Sasuke's nose, suffocating him in the process.
Damn you girly boy! Your hair is suffocating me! Naruto!
"Too bad I like redheads," Neji's hand trailed down onto Sasuke's stomach, absent mindedly stroking there. His hair now efficiently cutting off Sasuke's oxygen flow.
"I also prefer green eyes," Neji lowered his face onto Sasuke's collarbone, where he proceeded, with gusto, to suck and leave a mark. With that Sasuke became more de-oxygenated, and lost consciousness.
"But one kiss would not hurt right?" Neji murmured, after making a hickey, and raised his head to tip the Uchiha's face, ignorng the fact that the Uchiha was not struggling anymore.
"You bet your white ass it will damn hurt!"
Naruto was seeing red. Literally. The hickey Neji left on Sasuke's collar bone pulsed a bright red, mocking him. Neji had just marked his SASUKE. HIS SASUKE! Needless to say, Neji got beaten within an inch of his life, starting with a chair to the face and other well practiced wrestling moves. Gaara arrived not long after that and mauled Naruto with sand for hurting HIS Neji. But after seeing the unconscious Uchiha and the hickey, he decided to throw in a few wrestling moves of his own on Neji. It was bloody.
Lifting up the in-coma-about-to-die Hyuuga in his arms bridal style, Gaara turned towards Naruto, who was busy releasing Sasuke and craddling him gently to his chest.
"I will make sure that this WILL NOT happen again," the Kazekage but growled the words. Naruto nodded in affirmative, indicating that a repeat of this event will lead to no Hyuuga Neji after that. Gaara then disappeared in a swirl of sand. Naruto took Sasuke away to the Uchiha mansion.
The NejiSasu club woke up after being pulverized by an eager dobe, all with multiple bruises in places they didn't know existed. They vaguely heard crashng sounds, and chairs being broken, but just when they were about to come to, sand flooded their vision and they were once again, knocked dead. The second time they woke from their beaten slumber, a figure loomed in the entry way, clutching what seemed like a picture of Neji making a hickey on the Uchiha Sasuke.
The figure glared heatedly until the picture burst into flames, defying all laws of physics and logic.
"TSUKIYOMI!"
"That damn Hyuuga! Having no self control! I swear if he ever comes near Sasuke again, I'll let Kyuubi go berserk on his fate and destiny!" Naruto mumbled to himself, while tucking in Sasuke into his bed. He brushed off a few hair strands, contented in hearing Sasuke sighed happily at his touch. How he wanted to stay until the young Uchiha awakens, but he knew that he needed some time before confronting the Uchiha about what happened that night.
"I don't hate you, Sasuke. I never will," with that he placed a lingering kiss on Sasuke's lips, a silent promise that he will always be there for him. He left quietly through the window, hopping on rooftops towards his apartment.
Sasuke smiled in his sleep.
It was rather midnight when Itachi came home, tired of having to deal with Sasuke's fangirls and doing Tsukiyomi on many people at once was taking a toll on him. He entered Sasuke's bedroom to find his brother looking broken on the bed. Scratch marks and is that –gasp!- teeth marks??! on his brother had him at alert, ready for extra killing this night. After all, he wasn't Anbu captain at a young age for nothing right? After snapping one photo for his album, he made his way to his otouto, copped a feel and asked who did it.
"The OroSasu...and..and..SasuSaku club," Sasuke panted in short breaths. He got groped again for that seductive statement, and when Itachi left some medication saying that he had business to attend to, Sasuke never knew that the slamming of the door could sound so melodious to his ears.
If he had a possesive, missing nin brother, might as well take advantage of that. Two birds, with one stone. Kukukukuku.
This is like longer that the last one. Thank you all that reviewed. I dedicate this chappie to you!