Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Slower update - I'm sorry! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Don't mind the pun.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marti the Matchmaker
Practical Joke

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day seemed to drag on by at an almost agonizingly slow pace and by the time three o'clock rolled around, Marti found herself slouched over the coffee table with a pair of safety scissors in one hand and a purple marker in the other, attempting to keep herself busy. At least, until the rest of the family got home - which wouldn't be much longer.

Usually, she'd just be getting out of school at around this time, but due to some bizarre twist of fate, all of the elementary schools in the London district had let out three hours early. On any normal Friday, Marti would've been completely stoked about this, but at the moment her mind was just far too concerned about other things - like Derek and Casey and the current situation and just… everything.

She vaguely wondered if this was fate's way of testing her - to see just how much she could handle before she finally snapped.

Suspecting that that was probably what it was, Marti decided - for the sake of her own sanity - that it was probably best to preoccupy herself with an outlet of sorts.

So, she settled with art.

"God Derek! You're such a jerk!"

The sound of the front door flying open, followed closely by Casey's not-so-happy voice, was what snapped Marti out of her trance. Glancing up and looking over her shoulder, she watched as her eldest step-sister practically tore off her autumn jacket in a fit of fury and tossed it onto the banister, where it slipped off and pooled to the ground almost immediately.

Casey looked far too angry to notice.

"Well, I may be a jerk, but at least I'm not an uptight bitch who wouldn't know a simple joke if it walked up to her and slapped her across the face!" Derek sneered, stepping through the threshold seconds later with his backpack slung casually over his shoulder.

Neither one of them seemed to be aware of Marti's presence at all.

"You… You… ugh!" Casey threw her arms up and let out a frustrated scream before spinning around on her heel and storming up the stairs.

It wasn't long before Marti heard Casey's door slam shut.

Loudly.

She stared, eyes wide, as Derek glared intently at the spot where Casey had been standing just seconds before. It was if he believed that if he glared hard enough, it would spontaneously combust or something. Then, she heard him curse under his breath and watched as he reluctantly bent down to pick up Casey's discarded jacket and hang it up properly before making his way into the living room.

Plopping down on his recliner, he took a few deep breaths in attempt to calm himself before glancing down at his little sister. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but Marti wasn't as naïve as she'd been a year ago, and she could tell that he was forcing it.

She smiled back anyways.

"Hey Smarti. You're home early." He said, reaching over to ruffle her hair, "How was school?"

Okay, seriously? Derek asking about school? Now she knew something was up.

She shrugged.

"It was okay…" She said, "We had a spelling test today. Me and Dimi have a bet to see who's gonna get a better mark."

"Is that so?" Derek asked, sounding genuinely interested, "Do you think you're gonna win?"

"Duh!" Marti replied, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, "Casey helped me study, so I'm definitely gonna win."

There was a strange glint in her older brother's eyes when she mentioned Casey's name - but it vanished as quickly as it came. Almost like it was never there to begin with.

Sighing, Marti placed her art utensils on the table before scooting closer to Derek.

"Smerek?"

"Yeah, Smarti?"

"Why is Casey mad today?" She asked.

"No reason. She's just PMS-ing." Derek said simply.

Marti narrowed her eyes.

"Smerek." She warned, planting her hands on her hips in a way that freakishly reminded him of Casey, "Tell me the truth!"

Derek sighed, instantly caving in.

"Fine," he said, "The truth is -"

Before he could finish, the front door suddenly swung open, revealing Edwin and Lizzie.

"What a day!" Edwin exclaimed, tossing his backpack onto the floor and collapsing on the couch.

"Mrs. Turner is such a witch!" Lizzie huffed, seating herself beside him with her arms crossed. "Can you believe she assigned us that much homework? It's gonna take up our whole night!"

"Forget tonight - it's gonna take up the entire school year!" Edwin complained before glancing over at his brother. "So what's your story? You look like you've had a pretty rough day."

Derek snorted.

"If you think I look bad, wait till you see Space-Case."

Lizzie shot him a dirty look.

"Why? What'd you do to her this time?" She snapped.

"Nothing that she won't get over once she stops PMS-ing…" Derek replied, rolling his eyes and rising to his feet. "I'm going to my room. Come get me when it's dinner."

With that, he made his way out of the living room and up the stairs, leaving the remaining Venturi-McDonald offspring alone.

"In just a few short hours, our plan will finally commence." Lizzie announced, a devious smile stretching across her face.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That evening, the tension between Derek and Casey was unlike anything anyone had ever witnessed. It gave dinner an unusually eerie and extremely awkward feel to it, and aside from the sound of silverware meeting the good china, the entire family sat in complete and utter silence, afraid to say anything that might set one of the teens - or both of them - off.

Nora's gaze bounced back and forth between the two teenagers. She watched as they glared heatedly at one another and waited as quietly and as patiently as she could for one of them - or at the very least, someone - to say something. Anything. Eventually, the silence became far too deafening to bear.

"So," she began nervously, clearing her throat and breaking the ice, "How was school today?"

Derek promptly choked on his water, causing Nora's mind to start racing with all kinds of scenarios that could've possibly taken place that day. Casey, on the other hand, glared coldly at him from across the table before she turned to face her mother.

"I'm glad you brought that up, Mother." She admitted, and Nora could tell by her daughter's posture and the way she was speaking through gritted teeth that she was trying to stay calm. "I think it's time for you and George to start researching new schools for me, since as of today, I'll never be able to show my face at Thompson High again."

Marti froze the second the words left Casey's lips, her fork halfway to her mouth, and noticed both Edwin and Lizzie visibly stiffen.

Nora's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline as she exchanged curious glances with her husband before turning her attention back to her eldest daughter.

"Is… umm… what -" She started, but before she could finish, she was interrupted by the sound of her step-son's fork clattering against his now empty plate.

"You are such a drama queen!" Derek scoffed, narrowing his eyes at Casey. "I mean, honestly, just let it go already! It was a joke!"

"A joke?" Casey repeated, and before Nora could register what was going on, her daughter was suddenly on her feet and staring down at Derek with a look that could only be described as sheer distaste. "Is that what you call publicly humiliating me in front of the ENTIRE student body? A joke?"

"Derek!" George scolded, "What did you do?"

"Yeah, what did you do?" asked Edwin, more than a little curious to find out.

Lizzie scowled and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Does it matter?" She hissed.

"It does this time!" Casey cried, before her piercing eyes met those of her daily tormentor's once more. "Come on, Der. Why don't you tell them what you did? I mean, I'm sure everyone's just dying to hear about how you -"

"Stole your clothes?" Derek finished, cutting her off and crossing his arms in an almost challenging manner.

"You stole her clothes?" George repeated, "How?"

"She was in the showers at school. It wasn't that hard to sneak in and out of the locker room without being heard." His son replied, shrugging casually before quickly adding, "No one else was in there - they were all at lunch. Space-Case is just really slow. She was the last one in there."

"How do you -" Lizzie began, but Derek cut her off.

"I have my sources."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Stop encouraging him!" Casey snapped, "I haven't even finished!"

"There's more?"

"It's Derek. Of course there's more." Casey sneered, "And after stealing all of my clothes, guess what else he decides to do?" She didn't wait for anyone to answer before she went on, "He pulls the fire alarm. While I'm still in the shower. So then I ran out in nothing but a towel and EVERYONE sees me like that!"

"You pulled the fire alarm?" cried George, staring at Derek in disbelief.

"Dude… that is so cool - ow!" Edwin rubbed his shoulder and glared at Lizzie.

"Stop it, you two." Nora warned, before her gaze settled on her step-son. "You pulled the fire alarm? Why aren't you in trouble? Why didn't we get a call from your Principal about this?"

"I have my ways," Derek replied, smirking triumphantly and popping up the collar of his shirt. "Let's just say that Lasiter is very easy to persuade."

"Unbelievable." Nora buried her face in her hands, regretting having started this conversation at all.

"This FAMILY is unbelievable!" snapped Casey, "I mean, Derek gets away with everything! I'm publicly humiliated and all you can do is encourage him! That's why I think it would be in everyone's best interest - especially mine - if I were to switch schools."

"Stop being so overdramatic, Case." Derek rolled his eyes. "This incident will just blow over like the rest of them, and pretty soon everyone will forget it ever hap -"

"Don't! Don't you dare try to justify what you did! What you've been doing since we first moved in! I'm so sick of this! I'm so sick of you!" Casey screamed. "I can't take this anymore!"

Before anyone could say a word, Casey was gone, having fled up the stairs.

For about five minutes, no one said a word. In fact, it was so silent that one could probably hear a pin drop.

Finally, Nora spoke up.

"George? We need to talk." She said, standing up and making her way towards their room.

George nodded in understanding and followed closely behind, closing the door behind them.

Derek blankly at his empty plate before slamming his fist against the table in frustration.

"Damn it." He muttered under his breath, completely oblivious to the three sets of eyes watching his every move.

Then, without another word, he stood up and made his way up the stairs, and it wasn't until they heard his door close that any of them spoke.

"Well… can't say I expected that." Edwin sighed. "What are we going to do now?"

"We can't back out of the plan now, that's for sure. This has to happen tonight or Casey's gone for sure," said Lizzie, placing her chin in the palm of her hand before glancing over at her younger step-sister. "Marti?"

Said step-sister tore her gaze away from the staircase and looked at Lizzie.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"You know what you have to do, right?"

Marti nodded.

"Yeah." She said, "I know."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do believe that that's the longest chapter I've ever written. For THIS fic, anyways.

This fic just keeps getting longer and longer than I intended. At first, I had only planned it to be 4 chapters - 5 at the most - but somehow, it's now 7. 8 if I decide to include an epilogue… which I probably will.

Expect an update soon. I've finally got time on my hands.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Personally, I didn't really like how I ended it - but you guys seem to usually think otherwise, so I guess that saying about how a person's biggest critic is themselves is true, now isn't it?

Only your reviews will tell.

So, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!

That's what keeps me going.

-Lady Azura-