Caution To The Wind

Caught Off Guard

It took him a moment to process what had just occurred before he was able to speak. By that point she had turned away and was already heading down the pathway towards the beach. He took in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're not going home? You're really going to walk the beach?" he called after her, which caused her to stop and turn back to him.

"I'm just not ready to go home. I feel like walking a bit. It's such a beautiful night." She opened her arms and looked all around to emphasize her point. "I'm much too full from dinner, especially after that desert. I'll be fine. Night Tim."

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight Calleigh." He watched her disappearing form, then turned and headed towards the parking lot. Feeling a bit guilty that he didn't accompany her, he reminded himself that they weren't on a date, so he wasn't responsible for seeing her home. She was capable of looking out for herself. Still, it seemed like she was a little disappointed that he wasn't going with her, but he could just be imagining that.

The restaurant and the public beach both shared the same parking lot. Tim wasn't surprised to see a smattering of cars still about when he got to his bike. Climbing on, he took a moment to look around. No matter where he was, it was second nature to survey the landscape, the result of years of making observations in his job. People especially drew his attention, which is why he now found himself staring intently at a mid-thirties male sitting alone in a beat up pickup truck, sucking on a bottle of beer, staring straight ahead. Likely not a threat, he was probably there to forget his troubles. Still, he made Tim pause. He couldn't help but think of Calleigh alone on the beach. And wearing that dress.

Sighing heavily, he climbed off the bike without a second thought and set off in the direction she took. He hurried his pace till he found her ambling along the shoreline, then he slowed down and breathed a deep sigh of relief. He walked towards her, his eyes drawn to her mane of golden hair swaying in the light wind. She was barefoot now he noticed, which made her seem even smaller against the backdrop of the ocean.

"Calleigh," he called out as he approached. He didn't want to startle her. She turned in his direction and waited for him. She smiled broadly when he finally caught up to her.

"I thought you left. You changed your mind?" she asked. He heard the unmistakable sound of hope in her voice.

"I decided to walk with you," he said tentatively. He watched as she studied his face. She was close enough, that even in the moonlight, he detected the flicker of disappointment in her eyes as she deduced his real reason for returning.

"You don't have to, you know. I can take care of myself," she said with a touch of icy indignation.

"Yeah, I know, but you probably shouldn't be wandering alone on the beach at night." She shot him a look of pure, stubborn pride.

" I do have a gun, remember."

He sighed loudly. "I remember." He felt guilty for disappointing her. His reason for joining her obviously wasn't the right one. Then he remembered it wasn't his job to please her. They weren't on a date, they weren't even close friends. Well, maybe they were, he never really thought about it. They walked stiffly in silence.

"Do you go to the beach a lot?" he asked after a spell.

"When I can. When I need to." She didn't elaborate and he didn't press.

"This is nice. I'm glad I joined you," he said and meant it. He stopped walking and turned to face the water. The waves were gently rolling in to shore. Their sound was constant and soothing. He couldn't help but relax out here. In the distance, the dark outlines of ocean vessels with their flickering lights could be seen. He never spent much time at the beach. Whenever he did go, he couldn't help but think of all the beach crime scenes he'd processed. He hated looking for evidence at the beach, sifting through all the sand, worrying he'd miss some crucial piece of evidence.

"Yeah, it is," she said, taking in a deep breath. "I never get tired of it." Her tone was thawing he noticed.

"It's pretty peaceful. I never spend much time on the beach," he said. He stole a glance and noticed she was rubbing her arms. "Cold?" he asked.

"A little," she answered. He slipped off his jacket and awkwardly placed it around her shoulders. His fingers grazed her skin and it was impossible not to notice how silky it felt under his fingertips. It was also impossible not to notice how her body shuddered under his touch, although maybe it was just from the night chill. "Thanks," she said softly, giving him a small smile.

"How do you do it? How do you come here and not think of all the horrible things we see at the beach?" he asked.

"Well, if you think about it, we see horrible things everywhere. I come here to forget all that," she answered.

"You never think about sifting through all that sand for evidence?"

She laughed lightly, he loved the way it sounded. "I try to see the beauty, not the crime scene. It's not all bad, you know. You have trouble remembering that sometimes."

That was the thing about Calleigh, she never seemed to lose sight of the beauty. He did tend to forget it existed, he was just surprised she noticed that about him. They walked closely without touching, but he was very aware of her nearness. He liked the fact that she didn't seem to expect anything of him. Their silences were comfortable. He felt more relaxed tonight than he had in a long time. 'Must be the beach,' he thought. Her soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

"There's a small beach not far from my apartment and sometimes I go there after work for a run along the shore. It's a good workout, especially after a tough day. Helps relieve stress." He nodded in her direction and noticed she was staring out at the ocean while she walked. "Other times, I walk along the beach at night to clear my head. But sometimes, sometimes I just need to stand here, look out at the horizon and know that if I really need to, I can find a place to disappear. Leave everything behind, every burden, every responsibility, every sadness," she paused and he realized they had stopped walking. "Just disappear. That would be nice." She was quiet a moment, still staring straight ahead. "There's something about the vastness of the ocean that makes me see the possibilities of going very far away." She turned to him, caught his eyes and held them for just a moment before turning her gaze back to the ocean. "I won't ever do it. I don't think I could ever just walk away and leave things unfinished, at least for very long." She laughed lightly. "But sometimes I need to think that I can and that makes me feel... better."

She began walking again and he stayed by her side. Aware he hadn't spoken, it was seemed enough that he had listened. He often wondered how she retained her good nature despite the harsh realities of her job and the problems her family sometimes gave her, as well as the past she never talked about. He tried to picture her standing alone by the ocean wishing she could find a place to disappear. It was a sharp contrast to the Calleigh she presented to the world and the one he thought he knew. He wasn't sure why she had stripped this layer away for him.

"It's the same reason you have your bike," she said, interrupting his reverie.

"I don't follow," he said confused.

"Your bike is your freedom, your means to disappear," she said with a knowing look.

"My bike is my main means of transportation. I happen to prefer it over my car." He said defensively. He wondered why she thought she knew him. He couldn't imagine her spending any time thinking about him.

"No, it's more than that. It's always there, your means to escape, anytime you need it." She sounded so sure of herself.

"A car would serve the same purpose," he pointed out.

"No, it's different with a car. Think about it. With the bike there's no packing, no maps, no traffic jams. You just get on and go, as fast as you want, as far as you want, without having to think much about it. Maybe the sense of freedom it provides is all in your head, but it's there just the same." She faced him now and focused her gaze on him so intently, he thought she was seeing through him. The effect left him feeling exposed and uncomfortable. "But you already know this." He looked away from her, turned his gaze to the horizon. "I always know when you get to that point," she continued. "Sometimes I wonder if you really will just vanish. But you always come back and you seem different somehow... better." Her voice grew very soft and she turned again to watch the waves. "Everyone finds what works. I go to the beach."

He was at a loss for words. She was absolutely right. He, too, sometimes wondered if he would simply vanish. But he always came back. He figured what ever he was trying to escape, would just follow. For whatever reason, he usually did feel better when he came back, maybe it was because he knew he could always leave again. Because he always had his bike. Without a word they turned and started the silent walk back.

Reaching the parking lot, he walked her over to her car. She stood at the door and wordlessly handed him back his jacket. He hadn't looked at her once the entire walk back, but now that she was in front of him, he couldn't look away. She reached up and for the second time that evening, placed her lips lightly on his cheek. This time she held them there for only a flitting moment before moving away. She turned to face him as his gaze traveled over her face and searched her eyes. He saw a longing there that ignited something inside of him.

Instinctively his lips found hers and the sensation passed through him like a bolt of electricity. Her lips parted as his mouth moved over hers with an unexpected intensity. The feeling of her velvet soft lips under his sent his pulse racing and his thoughts spinning. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her tight against his body, completely forgetting they were standing in the parking lot. He felt her hand go to the back of his neck, her fingers threading through his hair, sending shivers down his back.

Raising his mouth from hers, he gazed into her eyes as she opened them. He was overwhelmed by the look of trust he saw there. A fleeting moment of panic washed over him, causing his heart to pound uncomfortably in his chest. Panting slightly, he held her close, feeling her warm breath on his face. Uncertain how to make the panic subside and unwilling to think about anything, he gave in to his overriding desire for her.

His lips recaptured hers, each kiss more demanding than the one before it. His mouth covered hers hungrily, his tongue exploring the recesses of her mouth. By the time they broke apart, he knew he was almost past the point of no return and that thought terrified him.

He placed his palm on her cheek, feeling the warmth there, then trailed his thumb over her swollen, moist lips. His eyes downcast, he was no longer able to meet her gaze. But it was too late, he had stared at the sun too long this time and he knew her image would remain long after he looked away.

"I have to go," he said, his voice a rough whisper. He knew he owed her more than that, but he didn't trust himself to speak. He let her go, never once meeting her eyes and walked to his bike. He climbed on and waited till he heard her door open and close and her engine start up, before he looked back in her direction. He watched until he could no longer see her taillights, then set off in the darkness.

tbc