Aria
Well, if my goal had been to confuse and torture myself even more, last night had worked like a charm. Seriously, what the hell had I been thinking? How could I have done that to Jake? I knew the answer: I hadn't been thinking. It was wrong and I knew it. That was why it had felt so wrong. That was why it had felt like it didn't mean anything to Ezra.
But the fact that it had happened at all was just…odd. Ezra, or at least the Ezra I thought I knew, would never have done that while I was with someone else. No matter how much he wanted it, no matter how badly he wanted me back, he was more respectful than that. He would never have kissed me in the first place, let alone let us end up in bed like we had.
Lately, at least the past couple of days, it had been like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This person looked like Ezra. Talked like Ezra. But the way he was acting? This wasn't the Ezra I knew. There was something not right about this, but I couldn't put my finger on what.
Regardless of what was happening with Ezra or why we had ended up sleeping together, though, clearly I had to talk to him. I couldn't just sweep our slip under the rug. It would be unbelievably awkward, but we needed to talk through it. If I was going to figure out what to do, who I was going to be with, I needed to do it on my own, without any more slips to cause me more confusion. So, as Spencer and I were passing by Ezra's classroom on our lunch break, I stopped her.
"Hey, Spence, wait there for a second," I told her. "I'll be right back."
I ran into the classroom and wrote him a note.
I think we need to talk. Dinner? Tonight?
-Aria
I put it in the drawer where he kept his pens, where I knew he would find it but no one else would.
"Okay, let's go," I said.
"Was I just the lookout?" Spencer asked.
"Did I tell you to whistle if you saw something?" I retorted. "No, you were not the lookout."
"How are things going in the, uh, romantic lit department?" she asked as we walked towards the courtyard to meet Hanna and Emily.
Honestly, I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell someone. But I couldn't. Not right now. Not while I was still working through things. So I lied.
"All right, that department's been shut down," I said. "I was just returning a pen."
"Really?" she said, sounding like she didn't believe me for a second. God, I was a horrible liar, especially about stuff like this.
"Yes, really. He's very picky about his pens. I…I borrowed one last week, so I thought that I would return it."
"What's his brand?"
"Hello, third degree," I said, trying to deflect the attention away from my flimsy lie.
Spencer just raised her eyebrows at me. She wanted an answer. It only took me a second to remember that his favorite pen was actually one I had given him as a gift. So I told her about that.
"It's a Fisher ballpoint pen with a custom nib," I said. "Did I pass?"
"The correct answer was, 'I don't know. It's a stupid pen,'" she said. "You still love him."
Damn it. She was just playing on a whole different level. And she saw right through me.
"Whether I do or I don't, I'm just trying to figure things out with Jake," I told her. That much was true.
"So let me help you. You like Jake. You love Ezra," Spencer said.
I knew she was right. But the thing was, if I was the kind of person who cheated on her boyfriend so easily, maybe I shouldn't be with either one of them. Maybe I just needed to spend some time alone. That was what I deserved after what I'd done to Jake. I definitely needed to do some serious soul-searching before I made any decision. And I at least had a couple more days. Jake didn't get back until this weekend.
"I'm working on it," I told her, and walked away, out to the courtyard, where Emily was sitting with Alison's diary.
And of course, something came up that made me have to postpone my plans with Ezra. We'd found another clue in the diary, and of course the other three had insisted on us going to look into it tonight. I couldn't tell them I had plans with Ezra. I needed to keep this on the down-low until I figured things out.
So after school, I found myself back in Ezra's classroom. And this time, he was sitting there at his desk with his headphones in, looking like he was in the writing zone. I almost felt bad for interrupting. I knew how I got when I was in the middle of a train of thought while I was writing. And he was even worse. But before I could turn around and just send him a text, he looked up and saw me.
"Hey," he said, taking his headphones out.
"Hi," I said. "What are you working on so intently?"
"Oh, nothing," he said as he shut his laptop. "It's the end of a story. It's not ready for public consumption yet." He stood up and went to shut the door. "I got your note. Uh, about tonight—"
"I can't now," I cut him off. "Something came up."
"Is everything okay?"
"Hanna and Caleb, they broke up, so Emily just thought it would be a good idea for us to get out of town for the night and kind of get her mind off things," I lied. Not bad for flying by the seat of my pants. "And I couldn't tell them that I had plans."
"Oh, no," Ezra said immediately. "No, of course not. Um, you're all going?"
"Yeah," I said, confused. Hadn't I just said that?
"Anywhere special?"
"Emily's making a reservation somewhere," I said, a little uncomfortable.
Again with Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Ezra never questioned my plans with my friends at all, much less asked who was going to be with me and where we were going. He wasn't normally this…jealous? Possessive? He'd never been like that, even when we were together and he would have had more of a right to be that way. What the hell was going on with him?
"And I—I have a stack of papers to grade anyway," he said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "So…tomorrow?"
I just nodded, still extremely confused and more than a little unnerved by his…well, there was no other word for it. It was jealousy.
"About last night," he said.
Okay, apparently we were doing this now. Because right here in his classroom where anyone could walk in and hear us was totally the right setting for this conversation…
"It didn't feel like there was anyone else," Ezra continued. "It felt right."
So it had all been in my head. And the thing was, part of my head told me that it was right too. I knew I loved him. And maybe if I was actually with him, this feeling of it being different would go away.
"I know," I lied, sighing. "This isn't fair for either of you."
"Or you," he said.
And there he was again. With just two words, the Ezra I knew and loved was back. I looked down and our hands were almost touching. I wanted to just reach out and put my hand on his, but right now, even that little bit of physical contact would be too much for me to handle. So instead, I just turned and walked out of the classroom, still a little unnerved and definitely confused.
That night was unnerving too, but in a completely different way. Again with the car trouble. The car broke down in the middle of nowhere, oddly enough, right next to Ezra's friend's cabin. We needed some shelter for at least a little bit, since it was raining. So I grabbed the spare key out of a flower pot on the front porch and discreetly entered the code for the security system that I'd seen Ezra enter when we were here last night. B26. Which told me that he did still have feelings for me. He loved me. He'd never stopped loving me.
For some reason, I lied to my friends. I told them that this cabin belonged to an uncle. Right before noticing the scarf I hadn't been able to find while putting my clothes back on last night right there in plain sight on the couch. I immediately grabbed it and stuffed it into my jacket, and then got almost obsessive running around and trying to hide any evidence that Ezra had been here. I definitely raised Spencer's suspicions, and probably raised Emily's and Hanna's too.
As Spencer and I went into the laundry room/linen closet, suddenly we got locked in. A was here with us. We tried and tried to get out, but we couldn't. The weirdest thing, though, was that I could have sworn I heard noises coming from under the floor again. Not a thumping this time. More like a scurrying around. Like someone was doing something down there.
I decided then that I had to figure out a way to get back here by myself and figure out what was going on down there, if anything. Find wherever this secret compartment under the floor was and look down there. Clearly it was something Ezra wanted to hide from me, but what, I had no idea. And I couldn't come out and ask him. I knew him well enough to know that if he didn't want me knowing about it, he'd just deflect. Maybe try to gaslight me and make me think I was imagining things. This new Ezra I'd seen the past couple of days would certainly do that.
Spencer and I were locked in the laundry room for at least twenty minutes before Emily and Hanna came and let us out. Clearly when A had been in the cabin, they'd been outside trying to get a cell signal to call for help. We ran out, and I set the security system again and put the spare key back where it belonged.
Later that night, I was over at Emily's house. I didn't really want to be alone. I knew I needed to do some soul-searching and spend some time thinking, but not tonight. Not after what happened with A. And then I got a call from Ezra. Why was he calling me tonight? I stepped out into the hallway to take the call, a little worried.
"Hey there," I said. "What's going on?"
"Nothing much," Ezra said. "I was just thinking about you and I wanted to call and say good night. Make sure you got back home safe tonight."
I melted. This was the Ezra I'd fallen in love with. He would always call or at least text me to say good night when I wasn't spending the night with him. When we'd been together, I literally couldn't sleep until I heard from him. It was like…like our version of turning down the covers or something. It had actually taken a few weeks for me to stop expecting that call or text after we broke up.
"Aw, that's sweet. Yeah, I'm back safe and sound," I told him, not wanting to let on that Emily was going to have to mop a big puddle of Aria off the floor. I didn't want to give him too much hope yet. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about this unbelievably complicated situation I suddenly found myself in.
"So, how's Hanna doing?" he asked. "Is she okay?"
"Um, yeah, yeah, she will be," I said, suddenly remembering that I'd told him we were trying to make Hanna feel better about breaking up with Caleb tonight.
"Well, it's good you got out of town."
"So how are you?" I asked. "Did you get all of your work done?"
"Yeah, things took a little longer than I expected, but I…got everything done that I needed to."
"That's good."
"See you tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said, and suddenly I couldn't wait.
"I love you."
Well, that was…unexpected. I knew he still felt that way, obviously, but he'd never come out and said it. Not since I'd broken up with him. Maybe I'd given him a little too much hope. Or not. I suddenly knew that I'd already made my decision and I just hadn't realized it until right now. Ezra and I…well, we were a foregone conclusion. As long as he wanted me, there was no way I could ever be with anyone else. I needed to be with him, just like I needed oxygen to breathe.
"I love you too," I told him. "Bye."
Two days later, it was Saturday. And I was over at Ezra's apartment, about to tell him that I'd made my decision. That I was going to break up with Jake. But for some reason, I was still a little hesitant. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just in love with the idea of us. The way we used to be. This experience with Malcolm had changed him. Made him a little harder, less trusting. Maybe that was what was so weird about him lately. Because something was definitely still weird about him.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Ezra said as he handed me a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, Hanna had a rough night," I lied, taking the mug from him and taking a sip.
"Oh, I thought she was doing better." He sat down across from me.
"She's up and down," I said, which was actually the truth. "I was hoping we could spend the morning together."
"I wish I could, but I'm heading to Philly in a moment to meet a college buddy," he said.
"Hardy?" I asked.
"No, no," he said. "Um…Curtis. The lacrosse guy I told you about. We could do dinner. We could meet at the cabin."
He'd never told me about Curtis the lacrosse guy, but whatever. Maybe he thought he had. I did want to do dinner with him, especially after what I was getting ready to do this afternoon. But I didn't want to go back to the cabin. Not when he was going to be meeting me there. The next time I went to the cabin, I wanted it to be a secret. I didn't want him to know I was going.
"Uh, I just don't think that I should go that far," I told him. "In case Hanna needs me or something."
Just then my phone buzzed. It was a text from Jake.
Can't wait to see you this afternoon.
I immediately turned my phone over, but it was too late. Ezra had seen it. Damn.
"Jake's back from his tournament?" Ezra asked.
"Yeah, he got in from Harrisburg last night."
"Morning with me, afternoon with him."
And there was the green-eyed monster again. Unusual for Ezra, but this time I could understand it. He and I had clearly been getting closer, but I still hadn't resolved things with Jake. I could understand how that could lead to confusion, and even some jealousy, on his part.
"No, it's not like that," I explained.
"I'm sorry, it's none of my business," he backtracked immediately. "And I put you in this position. So you take your time and decide—"
"I've made up my mind. I'm gonna talk to him today," I cut him off. This was why I'd come over here this morning. To tell him that I was breaking things off with Jake. That I'd chosen him.
"You are?" he asked, sounding surprised.
"Yes," I said, taking his hand. "You're the one. You always have been."
He smiled, but it looked...wrong. Like his heart wasn't in it. But maybe it was just leftover nerves from a moment ago. It was going to take him a second to process what I'd just said to him. Then he glanced at his clock.
"I'm so sorry, but I really do have to get going. I have a train to catch," he said, standing up.
"Yeah, of course," I told him. "Go have fun. So, dinner tonight? I'll meet you back here?"
"Can't wait," he said, giving me a kiss and then walking out the door.
Even this kiss, though. It was…off. Like his heart really wasn't in it. Whenever I kissed Ezra, I felt something. It always gave me butterflies in my stomach and made my heart beat a little faster. Like I was falling in love with him all over again every time. And I could always tell that he felt the same way. His kisses had always felt like another way of saying "I love you." But not now. Now, it felt like he was just kissing me because he felt like he was supposed to. But again, maybe it was just leftover nerves.
I finished my coffee and took a deep breath. I knew where I'd find Jake. He'd be at his studio. I had no doubt about that. And I needed to just get this over with. The waiting was killing me. So I washed out my mug and left, heading to Jake's studio. And, as it turned out, he pretty much knew what I was going to say to him before I said it. I told him that I still wanted to be friends, and he just said that he would need some time for that. He'd actually taken it surprisingly well.
When I got home, I found a box that he'd shipped to me from Harrisburg. There was a handwritten note attached to a jewelry box.
Thought this would look beautiful on you. See you soon.
Jake
I opened the box, and there was a necklace with my name on it. It was exactly my style. And very sweet and thoughtful of him. I knew I'd made the right decision breaking up with him, but still, this broke my heart. I couldn't keep it. I had to go give it back to him. I went back to the studio, and he was still there.
"Hey," I said awkwardly as I walked back in. "So, I got home and found this waiting for me. It was so thoughtful of you." I held the box out to him.
"Keep it," he said.
"I can't do that."
"What am I gonna do with it?" Jake said, clearly hurting. "I don't have another Aria in my life."
"Okay. Well…thank you," I said. This was more than awkward. This was almost painful.
"Mm-hm," he said, barely audible.
"All right," I said. "Well, I'll let you get back to your jump roping."
"You know, I do care about you," Jake said as I walked towards the door. "Which is why it's so hard for me to understand why you want to be with a guy like Ezra."
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, thoroughly confused.
"Nothing," he said, but he clearly had something on his mind.
"No, you were just about to tell me something," I insisted. "What? Jake?"
"I saw him totally go off on a woman outside the Grille today," he told me.
Wait, what? He'd told me he was going to be in Philadelphia all day with his friend Curtis.
"What woman?" I asked.
"Some blonde. He was screaming at her and pounding on her car."
"That couldn't have been Ezra," I said defensively. "He's been in Philly all day."
"You sure about that?" he asked. And suddenly, well, I wasn't so sure. "I always wondered if Ezra was the person you were afraid of."
"I'm not afraid of Ezra," I insisted.
"Well, maybe you should be."
"Look, the Ezra that I know, he doesn't have a mean bone in his body."
"You do know him best," Jake sighed. "Just do yourself a favor: keep your eyes open."
As I sat in Ezra's apartment waiting for him to get home, I suddenly started doubting everything. Whether Ezra had really been in Philadelphia today. Whether maybe I should be afraid of him. I was kind of afraid of this new side of Ezra I'd been seeing over the past week. Had he been hiding his true colors from me until now? Was this new Ezra the real Ezra? And just as I was starting to think that maybe I had made the wrong decision, the door unlocked and he walked in, smiling when he saw me.
"I wish I could come home to this every night," Ezra said.
"So you have fun with Curtis?" I asked, my suspicion coming through more than I wanted it to. I was a terrible actress.
"Yeah, it was great catching up with him. You know, I'm starving. You want, like, a pizza or something?"
And he was deflecting. He definitely hadn't been in Philadelphia all day, if he'd even gone at all.
"Yeah, pizza sounds good," I said.
"Great," he said.
"Did you come in on the last train?" I asked.
I had to know what the hell he had been doing today. I needed some explanation for what Jake saw. Something that would tell me why Ezra would have scared the living daylights out of some random woman.
"Yeah, I just made it," Ezra said. "Uh, I'm gonna wash up." He turned around to go towards the bathroom.
Nope. He didn't get to deflect again, and he didn't get to lie to me anymore. I was going to get the truth out of him if I had to drag it out piece by piece.
"Jake saw you today," I told him.
Ezra paused, then he turned back around to face me.
"Saw me where?" he asked. I could tell he knew the jig was up.
"Outside the Grille," I said. "Said that you were talking to some woman. Actually, he used the word screaming. Did you even go to Philadelphia?"
"No," he said guiltily.
"Who's the woman, Ezra?"
I hated the way that came out. It sounded jealous, which I wasn't. I just wanted answers. The truth.
"Maggie's lawyer," he sighed.
Wait, what?
"Maggie's lawyer?" I asked. "Why were you meeting with her?"
"Maggie is trying to prevent me from seeing Malcolm," he told me.
"I didn't know that you wanted that."
"Just 'cause he's not my son, doesn't mean I don't care about him."
Okay, this made sense. And it sounded like the Ezra I knew. He cared about everyone. I was sure some part of him even still cared about Maggie, despite everything she'd done to him. But what I still didn't understand was why he felt like he needed to hide that from me.
"So that's what you were doing all day?" I clarified. "You were meeting with her lawyer?"
"Her lawyer. My lawyer. Whole thing is very complicated."
"But why would you keep that from me?"
"Because having them in my life destroyed us once. And we're just getting our footing back. I didn't want to take the chance that that would upset you," he told me.
Okay, I kind of understood that. Though why he had thought lying to me about it was a better option, I still didn't understand. Surely he knew that I would be more upset by that when I found out. And it didn't explain the violent outburst Jake had said he saw.
"Okay, that doesn't explain your violent outburst," I said. "I mean, Jake said that you really scared this woman."
"The conversation was heated. Voices were raised. There was nothing violent about it. So either Jake misinterpreted what he saw or he's trying to make me look bad so you'll rethink your decision," Ezra said.
It had to be that Jake had misinterpreted it. I knew Jake well enough to know that no matter how upset he was by our breakup, he would never lie to me just to try to get me to change my mind. But there was definitely a more pressing matter here. The matter of Ezra's dishonesty.
"Ezra, I really want this to work," I said, walking up to him. "But it's only going to if we're honest with each other."
"I made a mistake," he admitted. "I really am sorry."
He didn't sound sorry. Maybe sorry that he'd gotten caught. But he'd admitted that he made a mistake. And I didn't want to fight with him any more tonight. I'd just broken up with someone to be with him. We were officially back together now. That was what tonight was supposed to be about.
"Look, I chose you knowing all that comes with it," I told him. "It's a choice I'm really happy that I made."
Ezra smiled and hugged me, but again, it just felt…wrong. But then again, I had just spent the first five minutes of our rekindled relationship accusing him of lying to me. I shouldn't be expecting an ear-to-ear grin after that.
A couple of days later, I was walking past Ezra's classroom before school and heard him talking with Maggie. I hadn't realized she was still in town.
"So what exactly was the problem?" Ezra was asking.
"The landlord's being a jerk because I broke the lease," Maggie said. "He's withholding my deposit 'til I give back all the keys."
"Maybe I could pick Malcolm up early while you deal with the landlord."
"Malcolm's not here," she told him. "He's at home."
"As in Seattle?"
"Yes, as in Seattle. That's home."
What a bitch. Seriously? She knew how badly Ezra wanted to see Malcolm, and she'd come here without him? She was punishing him after she'd turned his life inside out and upside down by making him think he had a kid and then telling him that Malcolm wasn't really his?
"I thought you were bringing him back," Ezra said, clearly upset.
"I changed my mind," Maggie said defensively. "I'm just here to deal with the lease and ship back some boxes that I left in storage."
"So what're you saying, Maggie?" Ezra asked. "That I'm not gonna have a connection to Malcolm unless it's through an attorney?"
I decided he needed an escape from this, and I wasn't about to let Maggie treat him like a doormat any more than she already had. I walked in.
"Oh," I said, trying to act like I'd just walked in and hadn't known she was here. "Um…I'll just come back later."
"No, we're done," Maggie said. "I was just leaving."
Maggie turned and walked past me, giving me a pointed look. Like she was upset with me too. What the hell had I ever done to her?
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that she was here," I lied to Ezra.
"No, that's okay," he said. "That was not going to a good place."
That was putting it mildly.
"How can she talk to you like that after everything that she's—"
"Flying off the handle isn't going to help anything, Aria," he cut me off angrily. "People get what they deserve. Eventually."
I didn't know why, but that comment unnerved me. I knew he wasn't angry with me. His anger was directed exactly where it belonged, at Maggie. But still. "People get what they deserve. Eventually"? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did he have something planned? Something up his sleeve? This wasn't like him at all.
That afternoon after school, I happened to see Maggie outside the post office. And I couldn't stop myself. I had to say something to her.
"Hey there," I said, walking up to her.
"Oh, hi," she said awkwardly. "Um, it's okay if I park here, right?"
"Well, it depends. How long do you plan on staying?"
"Just as long as it takes me to mail this," she said, sounding confused.
"Then that's it? Then you're out of here for good?" I challenged.
"I think so," she said. "Why?"
She thought so? What, she was just going to come and go as she pleased, making Ezra's life a living hell for as long as she saw fit? Oh, no. No, that was not about to happen. Not on my watch.
"You know how badly Ezra wanted to see Malcolm," I told her. "So coming up here without him was a really nasty thing to do."
"Aria, it's none of your business," Maggie said.
She sounded…scared? Was that right? Maybe she was just being defensive again, but it seemed like more than that. She seemed genuinely frightened of something. But I was too mad at her to really feel sorry for her, no matter what it was that she was scared of.
"Oh, really?" I shot back angrily. "Well, it sure was when you asked me not to tell Ezra that Malcolm was his kid."
"If you'll excuse me—" she said. Yep, she was scared of something.
"No," I interrupted, stepping in her way so she couldn't leave. "No, there is no excuse for someone to lie about something like that and screw up someone's life. And if you count Malcolm, that's two people."
"I didn't realize that you and Mr. Fitz were still so close," she said, her voice shaking. "He's lucky to have a student who's so protective of him."
"Well, Mr. Fitz is too much of a gentleman to kick you to the curb," I told her. "But someone needs to."
"I'm guessing that you've done some lying yourself when it comes to Mr. Fitz."
"Yeah, but it's not the kind that includes blackmailing his family into paying for a three-bedroom house and a fancy summer camp," I challenged.
"Well, that's rich, coming from a kid who maintains her grade point average by sleeping with her teacher," Maggie said, now sounding like she was on the verge of tears.
Oh, no, she had not just gone there. My relationship with Ezra had never been about my grades. He might have given me a little guidance on an assignment or two, but we hadn't even started sleeping together until after he'd left Rosewood High before. And he never brought my grades or assignments up to me when we were together outside of school. Ever. I wasn't about to let her get away with accusing me of sleeping with Ezra for a grade.
I grabbed Maggie's arm as she started walking away from me, and when I did that, the box she was carrying fell to the ground. I looked down and it was a bunch of Malcolm's toys and belongings and some pictures of him. God, I was a horrible person. I couldn't believe I'd done that.
"Oh, my God. I'm sorry," I said, bending down to help her pick it up.
"Just leave it," she said, and pushed me out of the way as she bent down to salvage the mess I'd made.
I walked away, and something just kept eating at me. She didn't seem upset with Ezra. Not really. She really had seemed scared of him. And I couldn't help remembering what Jake had said to me. To keep my eyes open. Well, this was me keeping my eyes open, and it was a red flag for sure. It didn't sit right with me at all. Maggie might have been a manipulative bitch, but I hadn't thought she was cruel. No, something else was making her keep Malcolm away. But what?
That Friday, I got a text from Ezra before school.
Need to talk. My classroom? Before first period?
This wasn't entirely unprecedented. He'd asked me to come in before school so we could talk before. And I had been avoiding him for a couple of days trying to work out what to make of this situation. Between Jake being wary of Ezra and now Maggie clearly being scared of something, I was really starting to wonder if Jake hadn't been onto something. But I couldn't avoid Ezra forever, and I would only really get answers from spending time with him.
"Hey," I said, walking in ten minutes before the bell. "What's up?"
"Hey," he said, smiling. "I know senior year is stressful and everyone's piling on the work, but I've missed you this week."
Well, at least he thought that was all it was. And he wasn't entirely wrong. Everyone, him included, had been piling the homework on lately.
"Yeah, sorry," I said. "I've barely gotten six hours of sleep a night this whole week."
That was true, but it wasn't entirely because of schoolwork. It definitely was a contributing factor, but it was also because I was still trying to unravel the A mystery with my friends, plus trying to unravel the mystery that was this new Ezra I'd been seeing come to the surface over the past couple of weeks.
"A little advice from someone who's been there?" he said, shutting the door to the classroom. "Don't spread yourself so thin, and make sure you're taking care of yourself. Make sure you're getting enough sleep and actually eating breakfast every morning. Running yourself into the ground isn't going to do you any favors, Aria."
He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me in for a one-armed hug, and I smiled. This was the Ezra I knew and loved. Concerned for my well-being and trying to help without actually stepping outside his role as my teacher. But seriously, I didn't need to be taking a test on Stevenson's Jekyll and Hyde today. I had my very own Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde right here, and his name was Ezra Fitz. One second, he was the sweet and caring man I'd fallen in love with and the next, he was all weird and distant and angry.
"Thanks," I chuckled. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, right," he said, starting to put graded assignments on desks. "Um, there was a break-in at the cabin last week."
Wait, last week. That was when my friends and I had taken shelter there for about an hour. What in the hell? Now I was back to being suspicious. Did he somehow know I'd been there?
"A break-in?" I asked, trying to sound shocked. "Like with robbers or something?"
"No, no, nothing was stolen," he told me. "But I got a chance to chat with the sheriff's office last week. They said it was most likely a vagrant looking for shelter or kids looking for a place to party. I mean, it's an empty cabin. What do you expect? So, I have to go up there this weekend. Can you get away? Come with me? I mean, it's been a while since we've been up there."
Honestly, with the way Ezra was acting lately, being completely alone with him and having no cell phone service for miles made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But I couldn't tell him that. So I told a half-truth.
"My dad's going up to Syracuse and I can't leave Mike," I said.
My dad was going up to Syracuse, but Mike would be just fine if I left him alone. I could have, if I'd wanted, just said the girls and I were going up to Spencer's lake house or something. But I really didn't want to.
"Is there any way your brother could stay with a friend?" Ezra pressed.
Now that I thought about it, maybe alone time was exactly what Ezra and I needed. Maybe if I spent some time alone with him, it would help me figure out whether I'd made a colossal mistake. And this would also give me an opportunity to try to figure out what that noise I'd kept hearing under the floor at the cabin was. I knew I hadn't been imagining it. At least not the second time.
"Maybe we could drive back and check on him?" I suggested. "Just tell him and my dad I'm staying at Hanna's or something."
"Aria, I really need to save the whole weekend," he insisted. Well, if he was dealing with the sheriff's office, I could understand that. "And I thought we were going to actually be able to use this cabin. I'd like to spend some time alone with you."
I sighed. I needed to do this. For my own sanity and edification. I'd just tell my dad and Mike that I was staying at Spencer's lake house for the weekend to get some studying done. And I'd tell my friends that I was going to Syracuse with my dad.
"Okay, you know what, I'll figure something out with Mike," I told Ezra. "When do you want to leave?"
"As soon as you can get a bag packed after school," he said.
And then the bell rang. I tried to shake off the feeling that I really shouldn't be going up to the cabin alone with Ezra. This was Ezra. I loved him. He loved me. He wasn't going to hurt me. I had no reason to be scared of him.
On the way to the cabin that afternoon, Ezra had his iPod plugged into the auxiliary port in his car and it was on shuffle. "Happiness" came on. Normally when that song played, he'd say something about it, or at least reach over and hold my hand or something. Do something to acknowledge that it was our song. But not this time. This time, he just kept driving like it didn't affect him at all. I tried to brush it off as him just being worried about what had happened at the cabin and having to deal with the sheriff's office.
More and more, I was getting a very strange feeling. Almost like this wasn't really Ezra at all. Like it was…his twin or something. Someone who looked and sounded like him, and maybe knew just enough about me and our relationship to be able to fake it for a little while, but who didn't know the little nuances of it. He clearly knew the code to the cabin was B26, but it was like he had no idea what it meant. But Ezra would have told me if he'd had another brother besides Wesley. Especially a twin brother. He would have had no reason to keep that from me, especially after everything else he'd told me about his dysfunctional family.
No, I was going crazy. I had to be. Ezra was just stressed. That was all. Who wouldn't be if they had to deal with everything he'd been dealing with lately?
But then, that night when we were in bed, I heard the thumping noise again. I even heard it after our bedroom activities were over (which again had felt somehow different, almost meaningless to him). It stopped after a little while, but I knew I'd heard it. I hadn't been imagining anything this time. That was it. I had to find out what it was. I waited until I was sure Ezra was asleep, then bunched up a blanket and some pillows to make it seem like I was still in bed.
Okay, where to start? The noise had seemed loudest in here. So clearly the entrance to whatever underground compartment was here was somewhere in this room. There was a rug right by the bed, seemingly oddly placed. On a hunch, I pushed it back quietly, and there was a handle. I pulled it up, and it opened a little loudly. I looked over, worried that I'd woken Ezra, but he was still snoring. It hadn't woken him. There was a staircase, and I followed it down, scared of what I might find. All kinds of possibilities went through my head, but absolutely nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Ezra?" I whispered.