"Matt..." Mello whisper softly as he look at his redheaded friend. Gone with the goggles that he loves to wear, showing his beautiful blue eyes that should be filled with happiness and love instead of looking so cold and empty as it is now but behind that he can clearly see the pain and sadness that he is hiding.
"Please let go of me. I am tired and I would like to rest." Matt said coldly as he turn away from Mello.
"Matt please...come back with me...I need you..."
Matt laugh coldly as he turn towards Mello "You need me? Ha! Don't make me laugh! The person you need is Near not me! So go back to that little sheep of yours and leave me alone!"
Mello was taken aback by what Matt had just said. "What? No Matt. I need you just as much as I need him."
Matt chuckle softly. "That's a whole load of bullshit and you know as well as I do, you'll choose him over me any day of the week."
Mello shake his head. "No Matt...I would never..."
"Yeah right." Matt said sarcastically and pull his arm back. "Just leave me alone. I can take care of myself."
Mello look at him sadly. "Matt please..."
"No! No more, Mello! I am sick of it! I want to live my own life! I don't want to be your stupid little puppy that is always wait for his master to return or going around looking for his master who abandoned him!" Matt snapped at Mello for the first time in his life. "I'm done so leave me alone!"
Mello's heart shattered as he listen to his best friend. Did he really hurt him so much without knowing? Is this why he tried to kill himself?
Matt started singing. I don't care by Apocalyptica.
I try to make it through my life,
In my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies
And that's all, I do
Matt gently caress Mello's cheek.
Just don't deny it
Don't try to fight this
And deal with it
That's just part of it.
Mello close his eyes slightly as he lean against his hand.
If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
Cause I swear (I swear)
I don't care
Matt moves his hand away from Mello like touching Mello has burnt him.
I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting buried in this place
I've got no room you're in my face
Don't say anything just go away
He glare at Mello coldly as he back away from him.
If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
Cause I swear
I swear
I don't care,
The guards drag Mello off the stage and pull him towards the door.
(Love changing everything)
(You won't be there for me)
(Love changing everything)
(You won't be there for me)
Matt watch them coldly as Mello tries to struggle free.
If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
Cause I swear
I swear
I don't care
Matt got off the stage and walks towards them.
If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
I don't care
I swear
I don't care
He stood in front of Mello and whisper the last two words of the song into his ear.
At all
Matt glare at him and walk backstage as the guards throw Mello out the door.
"I'm going home now. Sorry about him." Matt apologised to his boss and pick up his things.
"It's alright, Matt. Maybe you should take a few days off to clear your mind."
Matt smile tiredly. "Thank you...I would like that very much." He walks out from the back, looking around to make sure Mello isn't around before walking back to his apartment...
Mello sit in his hotel room with his face in his hands as he bow his head in shame.
He couldn't believe it...how could he have been so blind...how could he not see that he was hurting his friend...and now because of that he has lost his best friend...no...no he will win him back!
He will do whatever it takes to win him back! After all, they have been best friends since day one in Wammy's so he knows him better than anyone...right?
...Right?
He is unsure. He took out Matt's car key, the only thing that he left behind...the only thing he have of him...
He holds the key in his hand tightly, like it will disappear and leave him alone.
Just you wait Matt. I will show you just how much you really mean to me...this time I will be the one who fix our friendship...
Matt curl up in the corner of his bed as he wrap his blanket around himself tightly.
He lied...he lied when he said he didn't care about Mello...he still cares about him...he is still the only person who cares about him more than anything or anyone in the world...he cares about him even more than he cares about himself...but what was he suppose to do?
He has gotten selfish...he likes his new found freedom...likes to live his life however he want...away from the past worry...away from Mello...he can't go back with him only to get hurt all over again...he is hurt enough as it is he might not be able to handle it if he gets hurt even more...he might end up trying to kill himself again...and he can't do that because he promised Mello he won't.
He shakes his head. No no no no no! Why is it because of him again? Why can't it be because he still wants to live?
...Why?
He sighs softly as he leans back against the wall.
Can't you see what you're doing to me, Mello?
Can't you see that you are my world...my everything...you're the most important person in my life and yet...I don't mean that much to you...do you ever care?
Tell me, Mello...what am I to you? A fool? A joke? A tool? What am I...just what am I to you?
He closes his eyes and start singing as he feels that singing helps him calm down. Goodbye by Everlife
I'm better off
Just pretending like I never really knew you
I gotta stop
Holding hands with the memory I'm feeling
I gotta say
Something's different 'bout the way I see you lately
You feel the same
I can see it in your eyes I think it's changing
The blame won't fall on either side
He gently wipe away all his tears.
Can you feel it breaking into pieces underneath?
Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me
Goodbye
It wasn't right this time
Goodbye
He thought back to all the times they spent together.
We should've known
There was always something that we were missing
I'm letting go of this
Even though it's hard, I know it's the best thing
Good intentions fall
There's nowhere to hide
He wrap the blanket over his head, hiding his whole body under it.
Can you feel it breaking into pieces underneath?
Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me
Goodbye
It wasn't right this time
Goodbye
He smile sadly as he gently tag his hair.
I don't want to tell you
What I have to say
We don't have to be sorry
It just worked out this way
I don't want to, but I have to
I don't want to
I don't want to, but I have to
I don't want to
I don't want to, but I have to
I don't want to
He close his eyes tightly as he feels his eyes tear up.
Can you feel it breaking into pieces underneath?
Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me
Goodbye (I don't wanna say)
Goodbye
Goodbye
He curl up tightly as his hide his face in his knees.
It wasn't right this time
Goodbye
It wasn't right
Goodbye
He whisper the last part softly as tears flow down his face.
I am sorry, Mello. But maybe leaving you was for the best...I don't know if I can't stand living with you anymore...
He gently wipe his tears away as he got out of bed with the blanket still wrap around him.
Should I leave? I'm tired of running away...but can I really face Mello right now? Should I? He'll come back again...I'm sure of it...so maybe...maybe it is time to face him...after all I can't run away forever...even if I want to I can't...I'll have to face him sooner or later...I guess sooner is better than later...
He got dressed, put his goggles over his eyes and he walk towards the bar that he worked in, knowing Mello will be there to look for him.
He sees Mello arguing with his boss, both look very angry so he walk towards them quickly to break it up.
"Mello..."
Mello quickly look towards him "Matt..."
Matt smile at his boss. "I'll take it from here."
"Are you sure, Matt? I can take care of him for you."
Matt shakes his head. "No it's alright. I have to do this on my own."
"Alright Matt. Be careful." He glares at Mello one last time before going back into his bar.
Matt walks away from the bar and towards a park, not saying anything as Mello follows him closely, not daring to touch him but not wanting to be far from him incase he disappear from him again.
They enter the park and took a sit, Matt looking forward quietly as he ignores Mello's stare.
Mello look at his redheaded friend, unsure of what to say...how to start...
"Matt..." He said softly like if he talks too loud he will shatter the peace they have between them.
"No Mello. I don't want to hear your apologies. I just want you to know that it's better if we go our separate ways." Matt said coldly and without a hint of emotion.
Mello's heart tightens and it feels hard to breathe. "You don't mean that." He choked out.
"I meant ever word I said. You shouldn't have came here looking for me." He said it the same way as before, cold and without any emotions.
"You're my friend, Matt...I don't want to lose you..."
"It's for the best. You have your life to live and I have my own life to live."
"Can't we live our lives together?" Mello asked hopefully.
"We can't." Matt got up, his hands in his pocket. "I've said my part. I am leaving now." He turns to walk away.
Mello panicked as he watch him walk away. No! Don't leave me! You can't! Please come back! I can't lose my best friend! Not again, not ever! I'll do anything to keep you by my side!
"Matt!" He called out as he run towards him.
Matt turn around just in time to have a cloth shoved over his nose and mouth. Shit! It's chloroform! He thought as he tries to push Mello away from him but Mello hold onto him tightly and Mello was always stronger than him.
He tries not to breathe in but eventually he couldn't handle it anymore, he started feeling light headed and the last thing he saw before he black out was Mello's eyes.