Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any characters associated with Twilight.
Reader Warning: While I will not be publishing any explicit sort of content, there may be some mention of physical/emotional abuse and, or sexual assault. I do not condone these behaviors, but due to the storyline, mentioning them will likely be necessary. I do realize that speaking/reading about these behaviors may be painful or triggering for some people. PLEASE, if this is you, just skip over this story, and I won't be offended in the least. I'd much rather it wasn't read than to have it cause anyone that sort of distress.
Authors Note: First of all I just want to thank you for reading this story. Some of you out there may recognize it, as I did have it published before. I am now in the process of re-doing it, because there were several things about the original that I did not end up liking. This version will be a bit different than the last, but not drastically so. I cannot promise regular updates. I tried that before, and it simply didn't work. As I republish, there may be frequent updates, and there may even be several chapters done in a day. This will likely be a rarity, though, and updates may take anywhere from several weeks to several months.
Happy reading!
"Bella?" called Alice, knocking on the bedroom door. "Yes?" asked Bella, putting her book down as Alice walked in. "Mother wants you to meet someone downstairs." "But she told me that she doesn't want anyone to see me like this." Alice shrugged her thin shoulders, "I don't know. She just told me that you need to come down and meet him." "Well, who is he?" "I don't know Bella, but he sure is handsome," Alice grinned, her blue eyes twinkling. Bella shook her head at the little girl, laughing in spite of herself, "Fine…tell her I'll be downstairs soon." Alice nodded, running out the door, and Bella turned towards the mirror. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw that she didn't look much better than she felt. She had thrown up three times this morning, and her face was even paler than usual, which was saying a lot. Her dress was faded, and now stretched tightly across her middle. Her hair was coming out of the loose braid she'd put it in, and her eyes were red from crying half the night. "Oh, well…" she sighed, heading for the stairs.
Jasper Whitlock stood nervously in the entrance of the Swan's house. Mrs. Swan stood nearby, frowning, and making Jasper feel strangely unwelcome, although it had been this very woman who invited him over today, "Remember what I've told you. She will not be friendly, she is very stubborn, and she won't be happy about this arrangement." "Yes ma'am", he nodded. Then he was distracted by a noise from the stair-case. He saw a young-looking girl, slowly, carefully, making her way down. When she finally reached the floor, she paused and looked questioningly at her mother. As Jasper studied her he felt an unexpected twinge of sympathy. Her dark-brown eyes were red-rimmed as if she had been crying. Her face was solemn, and she was very thin, despite her large stomach. She looked tired, and sad, and her mother watched her with obvious disdain. "Jasper, this is my oldest daughter, Isabella Marie", the older woman spoke, nudging the girl towards him. He lightly took her hand in his, "Jasper Whitlock; it's a pleasure to meet you, miss." She slightly nodded, "You can call me Bella."
Her mother spoke sharply, "I have made an arrangement with Jasper's father; you are to marry Jasper in October." He groaned inwardly; this woman sure didn't believe in beating around the bush. Bella stared at her mother in disbelief, "I don't want to marry anyone." Her mother spoke sharply, "Frankly, Isabella, I don't care what you want!" "But surely I have the right to decide whether or not I get married." "No; you forfeited that right when you became pregnant out of wed-lock. You will marry Jasper, and I have already arranged it." Bella stepped back and stared at her mother, then at Jasper. He shook his head helplessly at the pain on her young face, and she turned away, hurrying towards the stairs. He winced a few minutes later when he heard a door slam.
Bella lay on her bed that night, still crying. Her window was open, and a lone wolf howled somewhere in the distance. She was shivering, in spite of the hot, mid-August breeze blowing through the room. It had been four-months since Edward had visited, and she had received a telegram the day after her 17th birthday, stating that he had married Angela Weber. Her birthday had come and gone with no celebration, apart from a drawing from Alice, and the telegram had been enough to crush any hopes she might have had of ever being wanted again.
Now her mother had basically informed her that she would be marrying a man she knew next to nothing about. Allie had been right. Bella smiled ruefully, Jasper was very handsome, with slightly tanned skin, sun streaked, light-brown hair, and green eyes, but that was all that she knew for a fact. And she didn't want to marry him. Him, or anyone else. It wasn't anything Jasper had done wrong, she just didn't have much faith left in the male species as a whole, and had decided that she could manage on her own raising this baby, without a husband watching over her. Bella wiped her damp face, and turned slightly, trying to ease the dull ache in her lower back. She felt hopeless. It was like the weight of the entire world was resting on her, and she felt alone, and cold with fear…
"Jesus", she prayed, "Please help me. I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to. I love you, and I know that you're always here for me, but sometimes I just need another person to be here, who will love me, in spite of my past. I need someone who will love me, in spite of whatever rumors that they might have heard. Daddy, Jesus, you know what happened that night between Edward and I…and you're the only one. Please, I know that it was wrong, but please, don't let our child suffer because of it. Daddy, I'm scared now. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where to turn, but I don't think that I can do this on my own. I know that you've forgiven us, but I can't seem to forgive myself. I want to be the kind of mother that my baby needs, but I have so many doubts. I'm always questioning what happened, and if I could have done something different. I don't like to remember it, and I can hardly sleep at night, because it haunts me in my dreams. Help me, Daddy, please, help me…"
Later, Bella awoke, sitting up in bed, clutching her abdomen. She heard footsteps in the hall, and Alice hurried in, followed by Rosalie. "Bella, what's the matter?" her youngest sister asked, leaning over the bed. "I-I'm not sure…how did you know that something was wrong?" Rosalie stepped forward, "You screamed loud enough to wake up the whole house. I'm surprised Mother and Father aren't in here right now." Her tone was sharp, but in the moonlight, even she looked worried. Bella frowned slightly, "I screamed?" Alice nodded, "That's what woke us up." Bella started to speak, but gasped as a sharp cramp gripped her stomach. She bent forward, gripping her quilt until it passed, and sat back up, "I'm alright." she said softly, seeing Alice's frightened face. "No," Rosalie shook her head, "You aren't. Allie, go get Mother and Father."
The younger girl ran from the room before Bella could argue, and soon returned with their parents. "What's going on in here?" their mother demanded, hands on her hips. She looked at Bella, "Alice said that you're sick." "I'm not sick." "Well, what is it then? Why would your sister wake us up for no reason?" Rosalie shook her head impatiently, "She's having the baby." "No, I'm not, Rose, it's too early," Bella shook her head, wincing at the cramps in her back, "I'm not." Her mother slightly frowned, studying Bella's face, then turned to her husband, "Charles, get the wagon; we're going to the clinic."
Bella began to cry as her father carried her into the clinic. "Here", Carlisle spoke up, "Bring her in here." He motioned to one of the empty rooms off the lobby, and her father carefully sat her on the bed, moving back uncomfortably. Her mother was talking quickly, and her sisters were arguing with each other when the next wave of pain came. This time Esme was sitting beside her, her arm around Bella's shoulders. Bella cried out, squeezing her arms around her abdomen, and closing her eyes against the cramping. When she looked back up, Carlisle had managed to get everyone out into the hall, and was closing the door.
Bella wiped her eyes as he walked over to the bed and rearranged the pillow behind her back, "How are you feeling?" "Fine, apart from that." Esme smoothed Bella's hair back gently, "How long has it been since the contraction before this one?" Bella shook her head, "Maybe 10-minutes ago, on the way over…but this can't be contractions. The baby isn't due until next month, so it must be something else." Carlisle shook his head calmly, "You have a little more time, but Bella, you have gone into labor." "Labor?" Bella shrieked, completely out of character, "You don't mean that I'm having the baby now?" "I do think that the baby should be here by tomorrow night, at the latest." Bella gasped, gripping Esme's hand, suddenly feeling panicked, "No! It's too soon! Do something, please!" "Bella," Carlisle said softly, moving to sit next to Esme, "It isn't that early, and many babies are born far ahead of their expected due dates." Bella shook her head, "But…But, no…I can't do this! I'm scared." Esme wrapped her arms tightly around Bella, "You can do this, and you will do this. It will all be fine, and Carlisle and I are going to be here to help you, every step of the way."