So for the first semester of high school, I avoided being near him. This was hard when I saw him 8. Times. A. day. He sat at the same table as me in the morning, then in the same section of bleachers in the gym in the mornings, then locker at first period, all classes by each other through 3rd period, then class together for 4th. I seem him on my way back from lunch, and then I have to freaking pass him to get to my bus. (My Life Sucks!) Oh and in between those classes I find a nice clean bathroom stall floor and CRY!!! This went on for about 5 months a.k.a. my depression month. Finally something I kind of looked forward to, the Homecoming dance. I had my dress and my dates were my best friends and I was going to try and have fun that night. NOT!!!!!!!!! Of course I was wrong because I always am! He walked in with…his…..date! A girl that is in my 5th period computer class. Every time I turned around when I was dancing with my friends, he would be there, with her dancing all over him. I was on my edge, even though nobody could tell I was breaking on the inside. That is, until they played………our song. As soon as I heard the starting beats I knew this wasn't going to be good for me. I grabbed my best friend's hand and told her to get me out of there…now. She didn't understand and was trying to talk to me when she saw me starting to cry. She pulled me out of the dancing circle and dragged me to the back of the room were I balled my heart out with all my best friends standing by me. They each took turns holding my hand and letting me cry on my shoulder, and getting me tissues. They were all just telling me to let it out. (That's why I love them so much!) Luckily, he never saw me that night. After I finished I decided to leave the dance before something else happened. But of course, something did. He tried to talk to me. He came up to me and my best friend and was all, "Hey guys, you like the dance?" I was looking down and away from him. I didn't want to start crying again right there in front of him. My best friend told him great and pulled me away to go meet my mom in the car. He was left starring after us…me. I (stupidly) turned around one time and locked eye contact with him, and in that one glance he knew something was wrong. He started to run after us but we ran to the car and left before he had a chance to ruin me more. That night, I was lying in bed just thinking about how differently the dance could've been. We would both be wearing blue. We would walk in hand in hand, smiling. We would dance around and just smile and look at each other. He would hold me in his arms and we would twirl for hours. He would whisper in my ear that he loved me. It was just a dream. I then cried again until I feel asleep.
The next day at school he never mentioned the dance. (THANK GOD!). He did try to talk to me though. He came and sat by me in gym. He said, "Hey. How are you?" and I was all "I'm fine. Why?" (Like I was going to tell him that I felt miserable!) He was just, "Well you have just looked really sad for the last couple of weeks. I wanted to make sure you were okay." All I said was, "My grandfather had a heart attack over the summer, I just get sad over how close I was to losing him sometimes." He didn't even know the whole story. That was the first time he had actually talked to me in 5 months.