AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews ((if you reviewed))!
Anyway I've got some VERY important news for you all.
Do you know what Dora means?
Silence.
No.
Dora means…
Dora means gift from God.
I'm shocked too. Gosh. I don't believe it. The producers picked the wrong name.
Anyway back to the story.
… …
Chapter Four
The Chocolate Factory
The factory.
Grey.
Dark.
Gloomy.
Security guards loom all around.
Until some people come.
Artemis and Holly stepped into the suddenly-lighted-up-and-oh-so-cheery factory and gaped. So Holly had never seen a mudguy's factory before, but which factory looked like… this?
The factory was a shocking pink and pink neon lights flashed all around. There were oodles of chocolate bars floating around and the floor was made of glass that could be seen through, allowing a river of chocolate to be visible.
"Oh. My. Gosh." Holly said dryly as she entered the place. "Mudmen are so… fluffy."
"It's Dora," Artemis replied. "I think her favorite color is pink."
Holly made a retching sound.
"I know," Artemis sighed. "What baa—aa—aa—aad taste."
(( Right now Dora is falling into the slime pit in the pyramid. She's falling… falling… falling… and… farting?))
"Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but you'll have to fight me first."
A Charlie from the Chocolate Factory appeared before them, clad in a Superman costume and… high heeled boots? Holly gaped. "I think Dora affected them a lot in the brain."
In the control tower, the host muttered, "Whaddya think?" as he watched some producers put on mascara, paint their nails and style their hair. "We have an image to maintain."
"So, how do we defeat you?" Artemis asked lazily.
"I must ask you how to spell three words. If you can spell all three, you may pass. For each word you can't spell, you have to spell another!"
"How lame."
Charlie gave the pair a threatening look. "How do you spell coronation?"
"How?" Holly nudged Artemis. "You're the genius."
"C-o-r-o-n-a-t-i-o-n," he sighed. "So simple."
"Conspicuous."
"C-o-n-s-p-i-c-u-o-u-s."
"Maneuver."
"M-a-n-e-u-v-e-r."
Charlie grunted. "That's the first time anyone ever could spell all three words!"
"It must have been on easy," Artemis yawned and the pair sauntered off.
The host stared at the control panel. The difficulty was on maximum.
Soon, the dynamic duo met Swiper the fox. Artemis raised an eyebrow as Swiper approached the chocolate. "Ready?"
"Swiper no swiping. Swiper no swiping. Swiper no swiping." They muttered in unison, so monotone that Swiper simply snapped his fingers and slouched away.
"Well, we did it," Artemis said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Don't tell me we're supposed to boogie."
"Oh no you don't!" the producers walked down. "You two won. In record time, I might add."
"Excuse me?" Holly muttered under her breath. "We took 1 hour!"
"Dora and Boots' record is 6 hours 59 minutes and 52 seconds."
"Oh."
"We have to wait," he informed them. "Just 3 more hours."
"How wonderful."
… …
After 2 long hours of observing the dim team of Dora and Boots, they finally arrived. Dora was complaining about the single bead of sweat on her head and Boots was rolling his eyes.
Anyway Dora squealed in delight upon seeing the 'beautifully decorated' factory. "Yay! Boots! It's so PINK!" and hugged a disgusted Boots which almost cost him his life. Get away from me, you big, ugly mutant.
"Charlie!" Dora said happily and bounded up to the still-astonished Charlie. "Oh Dora. You know the rules, don't you."
"Huh?" Dora scratched her head. "I do?"
"Yeeeessssshhhh." Boots muttered through gritted teeth.
"Oh yeah! I do!"
"Wow," Boots said sarcastically.
"So how do you spell," Charlie paused as the difficulty level was shifted to zero, "me?"
"M-e-e!" Dora yelled stupidly.
"No! She meant m-e!" Boots cut in quickly.
"No! M-e-e-e!"
Boots sent a punch to Dora's big mouth, happy that he had finally let all his steam out.
"Ouch." Dora went in a very lady-like manner before she hit the floor 'gracefully'.
"Gimme the next too words before this freak wakes up."
"Good job."
"I know! The words?"
"Good and job."
"Whatever," Boots sighed as he spelt out the words.
… …
In the control panel, the producers were swooning over Dora's graceful faint while Holly was feeling extremely disgusted. "She's so beautiful!" a producer smiled dreamily. Holly commented that she was going to barf.
… …
The gang, from the producers to the contestants, gathered around to watch the final part of the show.
So they were gathering around the enormous chocolate pool to watch Dora and Boots stop Swiper. "Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!" they chanted.
"Oh man!" Swiper snapped his fingers. At the same time, Boots 'accidentally' leaned forward… and pushed Dora into the chocolate pool.
"Gagawawamuphaiyaya!" Dora squealed as she dropped into the pool of dark brown chocolate. The chocolate was so swirly… so delicious… so wonderful… I'm getting hungry… Dora immediately started slurping up chocolate, not caring a bit that she was contaminating the million-dollar pool and drowning at the same time. "Mm! Nice!"
"Gahh!" a producer screamed and tried to jump in to save their 'star', only to be restrained by Holly and was assured that the show would be better off without Dora. "So it'll be Dora the Unexplorer, huh?" he commented.
"Duh," Holly rolled her eyes.
All they needed was some dramatic music.
Swiper approached Dora. "Mmmmm! I love chocolate! Time for some swiping!" And before he knew what he was doing, he fished an angry Dora out of the pool and tried to lick the chocolate off her. "Hey!" Dora squealed angrily, but being unable to show emotions well enough, or maybe she was too accustomed to being 'happy' all the time, she looked like an idiot. Not like she always does, this time she looked exceptionally idiotic.
"MMMMMMMM!" Swiper said gleefully. "So NICE!"
Holly made a face. "How can you enjoy tasting muck with DORA?"
"I better help," Artemis ran after Swiper and whacked him hard on his butt. "Owww!" Swiper yelled painfully.
"You big fat ugly fox!" Dora seized the opportunity to hit Swiper hard with her trusty backpack ((who was groaning from the impact)) and jumped out of his grip. "Nanny-nanny boo-boo!" she turned to Artemis. "Thank you for trying to help me get rid of Swiper, though I could obviously manage it myself, I'm very good in this aspect, you know." Anyway, she gave Artemis a sticky chocolate-y kiss.
Holly stuck out her tongue.
"Er. We'd better go," a producer said disgustedly and walked off.
… …
As they walked towards the helicopter that would bring them back to the studio, Boots suddenly began admiring some imaginary thing.
"Boots!" Dora trilled loudly. "What are ya looking at?"
"Can't you see it, Dora?" Boots pointed at a random place in the sky. "What a pretty pink flower?"
"Where? Where?" Dora started jumping around like a monkey ((Boots had never seen a worse imitation of a member of his kind)).
Artemis and Holly rolled their eyes.
"There!" Boots pointed again and led Dora to the edge of the cliff. "See?" he pointed at a spot in the sky.
"No! Where?" Dora asked stupidly.
Boots sighed. "Oh, Dora, just step off the cliff and you will be able to see it."
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
So Dora look 3 steps out and fell off. Just as she was walking, Artemis suddenly realized what was happening and tried to save the mutant. However, Dora was so heavy that she dragged him down together.
"Ahhhhh!" Dora screamed as she began the endless drop.
What can I do? Oh, what can I do! Oh… arrgh, I'll tell Holly that I love her. I won't have to suffer any embarrassment if I do. Artemis thought. "Holly! I love you!" he screamed.
The very hysterical Holly had totally forgotten about her mechanical wings. "I love you too!" she screamed back.
"You know, Holly, you can use your wings to fly down and save Artemis," Boots piped up, emphasizing on the word Artemis.
"Oh yeah I can!" Holly squealed and flew down for Artemis. Luckily, she caught him one millisecond before he reached the ground. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop in time and was going to fall with Artemis…
But wait! We forgot about a very important character! Dora!
Thanks to Dora, Holly and Artemis had a very big, flabby and comfy landing. ((Dora's head)) Of course, Dora died. ((everyone sobs hysterically))
Before Holly knew what she was doing, she grabbed Artemis and hugged him tightly, almost stifling him with her hug. Tears of relief were flowing freely down her cheeks and dropping into Dora's mouth, who died a happy death thinking of chocolate.
… …
"So, what was your favourite part of today's adventure?" Boots said enthusiastically, happy about two things- Dora's death and his pay rise after being promoted to official character of the new, improved show – Boots the Exploring Monkey.
Boots paused, knowing very well that the audience would say, "Dora's death!" "I liked that too! My favourite part was Dora falling down the cliff!"
"My favourite part was being saved by Holly!" Artemis grinned happily.
"My favourite part was squashing Dora!" Holly added in.
The music finally came in and Boots started dancing.
Dadadadadadadadadadadada
We did it!
We did it!
We did it!
Yay!
Oh we teamed up
We did it
Dadadadadadadada
We ran from all those idiot turkeys
Oh we did it
We did it
We did it
Yay!
We survived the pyramid and chocolate factory
Thanks to me yeah
We did it
We did it
Yeah!
Dora got killed and we shouted hooray
It was my happiest day day day!
Oh we did it!
((to the tune of 'We Did It' from Dora the Explorer))
Boots smiled, satisfied by his amazing song writing skills. "I couldn't have done it without you, thanks for helping!" he said to Artemis and Holly.
"Of course you couldn't," Artemis inspected a perfectly manicured fingernail.
… …
The End!
Thank you thank you thank you! I really couldn't have done this without all of you who reviewed and gave me ideas!
Thanks to:
Artemis fan/Dora hater, ArtemisFowlFan, cybergurl,dormouse, Echo Hood, Lizzlybonk, Lugian-Holly Before Swine, purple snowflakes ((Debbie)), purple snowflakes ((Melody)), sunset, venusgal100,and Weirdo Gal for reviewing!
Please read my new story, A Man to Man Talk, which is coming out soon.